Tandem Demise

by Duffy Brown

  The fury twosome jumped from their perch, the lure of whatever the heck they put in Fancy Feast winning out over criticizing me at least for the next five minutes. I wolfed down the pizza, rolled in the returned bikes, and parked them in the line of rentals. I then headed to the back of the shop for two rusted bikes restored by Cal, my Mr. Bike Wizard. Cal got the dents out of vintage, abused bikes and I painted ‘em up all adorable. Not exactly a Warren Buffett operation, but with my graphic design freelancing jobs in the winter, I managed to keep Rudy’s Rides up and running, or at least limping along.

  To get moving on the bride and groom bikes, I lugged the two rusted Schwinn Starfire frames into a little makeshift paint booth I’d jerry rigged with boards so as not to spray paint the whole shop along with myself. I pried open a can of dull red primer, stirred, and dumped it into the sprayer. I plugged it in and hit the trigger, testing the narrow spray pattern on an old newspaper as the bell over the front door tinkled.

  “Be with you in a minute. I need to get the first coat of paint on these bikes so it’ll dry and—”

  “Bathroom wall? That’s the best you could do?”

  I spun around and sprayed a neat red stripe of primer across the front of Finn’s navy windbreaker, his neck, and a bit of his lower chin. “Holy crap! Why are you here?”

  Chapter Five

  Finn swiped at his chin, the paint now covering his fingertips. “At least I won’t rust? Nate said you were a pain in the backside and if there was trouble you’d be in the thick of it.” Finn rocked back on his heels. “So, you and Nate are an item?”

  “If you mean we get in each other’s way, then yeah. And as for me being a pain?” For a second there I’d felt really bad about the paint, but now not so much. “You’re the one who snuck up on me. And why are you here on the island now when we have a guy toes-up on the dock. Coincidence? I don’t think so and if you dare hurt Fiona,” I took a step closer since I was on a tirade, “I’ll feed you to the fishes myself.”

  “Smart girl.” Finn laughed and grabbed a handful of paper towels off the workbench. He swiped at his jacket, only managing to smear the primer over a larger area. “But before you throw me in the lake, consider the fact that I’m here because you and I are on the same side. I like Fiona and you like Fiona. I like Nate and you like Nate and how’d you really get my number and why did you call it?”

  Aha! I was right. Finn didn’t deny his showing up had something to do with Dead John, but now for the tricky part of giving up a little info to find out more. “I got your number from Dead John’s file that just happened to be open at the police station when I just happened to be visiting.”

  “You are a really bad liar. And why would a bike shop owner care about a dead guy on the docks? Island boredom?”

  “Island black cloud.” I set the spray gun on the workbench before I caused any more damage. “I’ve been here over two years and have three dead bodies to show for it. Before my arrival, the last murder was back in the sixties when Mabel Farnswarth caught her husband with the librarian who was stacked better than the Library of Congress, or so the story goes.”

  Cleveland and Bambino circled my ankles. “If I help find who did in John maybe my bad karma will lighten up and so will the body count. I haven’t swung a dead cat under a full moon to break the spell yet, mostly because I like cats, but so far nothing’s helped.”

  “And?”

  “And I think Sutter’s connected to John but he won’t tell me how. His mother and I are friends. She lost her husband a few years back and she doesn’t need anything to happen to her son.”

  A little smile played at the corner of Finn’s mouth. “Never mess with a woman on a mission. Two ex-wives and one ex-dog taught me that.”

  Finn rubbed the back of his neck. “Okay, here goes. Only because you stumbling around and kicking up dirt won’t help anybody. Hope this doesn’t bite me in the butt. Nate worked undercover in Detroit. Things went south and five million went missing. John was part of the gang and was no doubt looking for the money. For some reason it led him here. I was Nate’s contact when he was undercover and feel responsible. Whoever really ran off with the money is looking for Nate too. Nate ruined a sweet operation in Detroit and he knows all the players. wHeThought I’d pay a friendly visit and keep an eye out.”

  “Sutter did undercover as in drugs? Guns? The mob?”

  “Let’s just say we called him the planner.”

  “Shutthefrontdoor, it is the mob.”

  “Not exactly. Look, the locals won’t talk to me and Sergeant Molly’s taken up permanent residence on the Love Boat, but I bet everyone around here is used to the annoying gal painting me red and poking around in everybody’s business and being a pest.”

  “Let’s go with adorably inquisitive.”

  That brought another smile. “If you can find out who John was looking for, that could lead us to who took the money and the killer and get Nate off the hook. Nate thinks he can do this himself, but I’m not so sure. He can’t be everywhere at once and this place is tourist central.”

  “For openers we need to keep this just between us. If Sutter finds out what we’re up to he’ll have an aneurysm and you’ll be on the first ferry out of here.”

  “And I need to be here. This could be dangerous and I need to watch your back.” Finn shoved his hands in his jean pockets and studied the floor.

  “Good grief. There’s more?”

  “Uh, maybe. Uh, what kind of flowers does Fiona like? Thought I’d...well...you know.” Red inched up Finn’s neck into his cheeks. For a second there he didn’t look Detroit-cop at all but more like a man totally smitten.

  “The kind that’s from a man with a hint of Irish in his blood and a bit of mischief in his eyes.”

  Finn grinned, added a two-finger salute, and was out the door, the bell tinkling as he left. I could see Finn and Sutter as pals, and the fact that Finn was here on his own time to help said a lot about the guy. That he had a thing for Fiona and wanted to please her with special flowers was pretty much the icing on the cake. Some girls had all the luck and this time it was Fiona’s turn. Yippee!

  “Dang, girl. These bikes are fine,” Cal said as he rolled in the front door and flipped the Closed sign to Open even though it wasn’t yet eight o’clock. A lot of riders liked to get an early start on the day since no one had ever explained to them the joys of room service and sleeping in on vacation.

  “Bet you were up all night painting these sweet wedding rides?” Cal added.

  “They’re for a hell-on-wheels bride having her wedding up at the fort and I bet you were up all night too. I saw the new cashier at Doud’s giving you the eye when she was in here yesterday,” I countered as Cal maneuvered his way to the lower workbench.

  “Not my type and I think I met the hell-on-wheels gal.” Cal spooned coffee into the maker with Bambino and Cleveland perched beside it, supervising. Cal clicked on the Mr. Coffee, and the hissing and gurgling sounds along with smells of morning filled the shop.

  “Not only is she having her wedding up at the fort, but somehow she managed to get it closed early to tourists. She must have some juice to pull that one off and she’s demanding the soldiers form a musket arch and fire the cannon after the ceremony. We took up a collection for her life-size cutout so we got something to aim at.”

  “Live ammo?”

  “Some of the men use their muskets for hunting so it’s worth considering. The only reason we’re going along with this is that she’s donating family journals, china, a fife and drum set, and a pistol or two from when her relatives lived at the fort in the 1800s. She’s insisting on a brass donation plaque with her name, but all things considered, it’s a good addition to the fort museum.”

  Cal’s day job was island employment, sort of a clearinghouse for matching seasonal workers with seasonal jobs. With fifteen-thousand tourists a day, there were a ton of jobs. Cal worked for me because a lot of cute girls rented bikes. He was a ripped, badass dude born and
raised on the island except for the four tours of duty in Iraq that landed him on wheels. He considered this situation a minor inconvenience. We all considered Cal a major hero.

  Cal put a mat on the workbench so as not to scratch my new paint job then propped up the bride bike and maneuvered a new tire into place. “So did you happen to meet that cop guy from Detroit?” There was a slight hitch in Cal’s voice. “What’s his story?”

  “Seems that Sutter was undercover as a mob boss, things fell apart, and the bad guys might be hunting him. Finn’s here to lend a hand.”

  “Sounds like an okay guy.”

  “And he’s got a thing for Fiona.”

  Cal growled, “I heard that.” There was another hitch in his voice. “Gee, what’s taking that coffeemaker so darn long this morning. It’s slow as molasses.”

  I put down the white whicker basket that we would fasten to the handlebars and stared at Cal. “Slow as molasses? Darn? Gee? Have you ever said gee in your life? And you’re not looking at me or smiling and if you grip that wrench any tighter you’ll bend it. Are you worried about Sutter? Yeah, I am too but this Finn guy knows what he’s doing and... Oh, boy,” I added in a long drawn out voice. “This has nothing to do with Sutter. You like her. This is all about Fiona. You like Fiona.”

  Cal reached for a set of sockets. “Everybody likes Fiona.”

  “Yeah, but you really like her. Does she know?” I thought about that for a split second. “Of course she doesn’t know,” I reasoned. “She would have said something to me between There’s a dead guy on the dock and Why don’t you pay for delivery like everybody else. She would have tossed in I think Cal’s into me, isn’t that great.”

  “Yeah and what if she didn’t think it’s so great and none of this is your business.”

  “What planet do you live on?” I grabbed two mugs and poured. “This is Mackinac, where gossip’s on twenty-four/seven. Since rumor has it that the only thing you can’t do is climb stairs,” I gave him a sexy wink and handed him a mug, “you have to tell her how you feel, my friend.”

  “Tell who what,” Fiona gushed as she waltzed into the shop. Cal gave me a hard look that said keep your mouth shut while shaking his head.

  “Tell you that I’m in love?” Fiona carried on. She did a pirouette that was probably a throwback to some grade school dance lessons. “Because I am in love, totally and completely.” She danced over to Cal, sat on his lap and slipped her cap backwards on his head. “Aren’t you happy for me, my man?”

  “Thrilled.” Cal reached around her to tighten a bolt on the bike and Fiona kissed him on the forehead, leaving behind a pink lipstick kiss.

  “And I’m thrilled too. I’m thrilled to my toes and beyond.” She jumped up and gulped down my coffee. “And to show you just how happy I am, I’m here this bright beautiful morning to invite you both to a little get-together at the Stang tonight, all my treat.”

  I stared at Fiona wide-eyed. “Two nights ago I had to bribe you with dinner at the Village Inn so you’d take me to get the kites.”

  “And look how that turned out. I should have gotten a month of free beers at the Stang to go with it for the PTSD I’m suffering, but I forgive you because I’m such a sweetheart. Well, Finn thinks I am and that’s all that counts.”

  “And now you’re springing for a party,” I said, still in shock. “As in picking up the tab and actually paying it and not pretending to lose your purse like you usually do? So who the heck are you and what have you done with Fiona?”

  “Think of it as my good deed for the day for you and all of my friends and if you must know I’m out to impress the new bf...that’s code for boyfriend, something I haven’t had in a while, a really long while.”

  “Now how do you know there’s not some secret admirer out there just pining for you?” That got me an evil look from the military section of the shop.

  “Because on this island there are no secrets and meeting Finn is my destiny.” Fiona stood and pranced over to the coffeepot. She poured a refill into my mug and took a sip. “He’s here to help find some bad people who are after Nate, but don’t tell anyone that. The less people who know the better so no one gets hurt trying to play hero.” She clutched the mug to her chest and heaved a sign. “And speaking of heroes, isn’t Finn just terrific? What a babe! What a hunk!”

  “Mr. Wonderful, I’m sure,” Cal murmured, tackling the bike tire like an angry sumo wrestler.

  “And my plan is for him to see me as fun-loving, carefree, spontaneous, and whimsical as well as an egg-head newspaper editor. That’s why I’m doing the party thing and why I’ve got an appointment at Village Glam for one of their super-duper mani-pedi packages. I want to look all sexy tonight and I’m busting out a new perfume I got for Christmas. Cleopatra.”

  “I gave you that perfume,” Cal muttered.

  “Now all I need is a boat down the Nile, or in this case Lake Huron, and I think I’ll skip the snake part and...” Fiona’s voice trailed off, giving way to loud arguing coming from outside the shop.

  “What’s going on now?” Fiona tsked. “Can we all say anger management class?” Fiona headed for the door. “But until that happens, God forbid we miss anything. Come on you two.” Fiona arched her arm in follow me fashion. “Usually we have to wait until noon around here for some decent drama to jumpstart the day.”

  Cal followed Fiona and I tagged along out onto the porch. Byline stood behind a dray loaded with crates of chardonnay from Sandhill Crane Vineyards while Bladen Powers paced alongside. His forehead was wrinkled, his eyes deep set, and today he didn’t look a thing like Don Juan scampering down the trellis and waving farewell to a fair maiden in her top hat.

  “I’ve got enough to deal with right now,” Bladen groused to the woman standing beside him as morning strollers meandered down the street and a long blast from a ferry horn sounded from the passenger dock in the heart of town. “You’ll have to pick up the slack, Petula, until I can figure out where we go from here and...”

  Bladen stopped midsentence when he saw me. He took a step back and held his clipboard below his waist like a shield. “Look,” he said to me, his voice shaky. “I’m here on business, I swear, nothing more, and I really don’t need any more problems right now.”

  He took another step back, swallowed, and said to Petula. “This is the woman I was telling you about who can maybe help. She got the bride and groom bike situation straightened out with Daniela, so maybe she can save your butt this time too. Just don’t give her any grief. She looks harmless enough, but she’s got a mean real streak. I speak from experience.”

  “Honey, my butt is just fine and dandy, thank you very much,” Petula hissed. She kissed her palm and smacked her backside. “We’re talking about your butt being on the line due to that there other equipment in your southern regions that never takes a rest. I bet dollars to doughnuts that’s what got us into this fine predicament. And don’t you dare go dumping this cake fiasco on me like you did at that Feinstein affair. Wedding Wonderland almost fired me over that little incident.”

  “Hey, I saved your job, didn’t I?” Bladen huffed.

  “Only ‘cause you need me.” Petula swiped back a clump of straggly brown hair that hadn’t seen a shampoo bottle or comb in a while. “And it’s more like I saved yours job. Fact is, I should have your job and maybe one of these days I will. I do most of the work anyway. If I hadn’t called Reverend Ellis last night to remind the man that the wedding was at the fort tomorrow, there’d be no wedding, just a fuming bride ready to disembowel you on the spot. And whatever did you go and do at the Metivier Inn? Now Curtis is flat out refusing to pay us a single penny. He’s threatening to sue.”

  Bladen opened his mouth and Petula held up her hand as if stopping a freight train. “Right now we need to concentrate on the cake getting to the fort tomorrow and the tables and those cute little white chairs set up on the parade ground for dinner.”

  “And we need bunting across the porch railings and a floral archw
ay for the ceremony,” Bladen tossed in. “I know this is a high profile wedding and if it blows up, no one will ever hire us again and--.”

  “And if it does blow up, I intend to strangle you with my bare hands. We need that cake pronto! So,” Petula said turning to Cal, Fiona and me, “bless your little old Michigan hearts for being here. Do any of you fine folk know how to bake?”

  Chapter Six

  “I can slice a mean Pillsbury cookie dough roll,” Fiona offered. I added, “Sara Lee is the best,” while Cal chimed in with, “I do a great Pop-Tart.”

  “But,” Cal held up his hand when it looked as if Petula might faint dead on the spot. “Don’t go jumping off Arch Rock just yet, there are people with those with skills on the island. We got Irish Donna over at the Blarney Scone right ’round the corner. I bet for the right price and a lot of flattery she can fix you up with a wedding cake.”

  Petula brightened. “Well, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.”

  Cal hitched his chin toward Main Street. “Come on, I’ll show you the way. Besides, you’ll need someone to protect you from husband Shamus, king of the wandering eye and fast hands.”

  Petula twitched her hips. “Honey, I’m not so sure I want all that protecting. Sounds like a fun way to start the day if you ask me.”

  “Take the protection,” Fiona offered as Bladen reached into his pocket, pulled out a silver dollar money clip, and peeled off five one-hundred dollar bills.

  Fiona’s jaw dropped as she stared at the money clip. Her gaze fused with mine as Bladen handed the money to Petula. “Here’s enough for a down payment on the cake. They can invoice me later for the rest.”

  “You better darn well make sure you have the sage green and cream linens for the tables tomorrow,” Petula called over her shoulder as she and Cal crossed Main Street. “Any of this goes wrong and Daniela will have you facing the firing squad and those good ol’ boys up at the fort have the guns to do the job right.”