When he sat back up, he did follow the tip, squirting out a generous glop of lube, making sure his fingers were slippery before he returned them to Pike’s ass. Kneeling between Pike’s legs, he forced them open wider so that he could watch his first two fingers move in more purposeful circles, pressing in a little.
Pike helped him out, drawing his legs back even further and rocking up to meet Zack’s questing fingers. Experimentally, Zack pressed a little harder, loving the way Pike moaned.
“That. Yeah. Push inside...slow...steady.” Pike gasped between his words. “Need you.”
“Need you too.” Even as his heart reached out to Pike’s, Zack couldn’t take his eyes off his fingers slowly sinking into Pike, skin stretching, muscle gripping him like a vise. Smooth. Hot. Pike.
He was inside someone else. The trust that symbolized humbled him like nothing else ever had. He slid his fingers back and forth, shivers racing through him at the thought of doing that same motion with his cock.
“Curve...your fingers,” Pike panted.
Zack followed the suggestion, and Pike thrashed like he’d been tased, muttering and cursing as Zack found some sort of magic spot up inside. Holy hell. His own ass clenched. Yeah, he might not mind trading places with Pike sometime if it meant finding out what the heck that was.
Going on instinct about what would feel good, he tried different thrusts and angles, varying his speed, scissoring his fingers, rubbing and tapping that spot, until sweat rolled down Pike’s face as he begged and moaned.
“Please. Now. Condom.”
“Okay.” Zack took a shaky breath. He fumbled the condom until Pike sat up to help, slathering his cock with lube in the process.
“Go slow,” Pike urged as he lay back down, shoving the pillows behind his head so that he was staring straight into Zack’s eyes.
Slow. Slow was going to be hard. Zack breathed deeply, trying to find the quiet place inside that steadied him on the rifle range or when navigating unfamiliar terrain. However, he’d never faced a challenge quite like this. You can do this. Make it good for him. He trusts you.
That trust was everything—Pike’s soft eyes, the way he pulled his legs back and up, the little grin he offered Zack, like he was totally confident that Zack could do this right.
Holding Zack’s ass in one hand, he steadied his cock with the other, slowly, slowly, pressing forward. Pike’s eyes drifted shut and his mouth tightened, and right when Zack was about to suggest they forget this whole thing and go back to what worked, he felt the muscle give, his dick sliding forward into the warm, tight heat. He rocked his hips, inching forward and back, Pike relaxing more into the contact with each small thrust.
“Oh. Fuck.” Zack’s whole body shuddered. He wasn’t half in, and pleasure still licked at his every nerve ending.
“Zack.” Pike reached a hand out, seeking Zack’s body.
“Yeah. I got you.” And he did. He had Pike in a way he’d never had anyone else. It felt almost sacred, Pike trusting him this much, Pike letting him see his need. He leaned forward so Pike could touch his arms and chest, sliding in a little deeper as he did so. Something about that movement must have brushed that spot up inside Pike, because his head fell back as he moaned.
“Do that again. Like that.”
This time Zack deliberately aimed for the spot that seemed to make Pike fly, and sure enough Pike grabbed him hard, legs wrapping around him, pulling him closer. God bless whatever hippie stretching exercises Pike favored, as that flexibility let Zack get his thighs under Pike, almost bending him in half so that their mouths could meet.
Kissing Pike always felt like breathing—necessary, important and vital to his well-being—but right then it felt more like a sacrament. Or like super glue instantly sealing their bond together. And that’s what this was—a bond. His mouth might not be able offer many promises to Pike, but his body could pledge an oath, swear to Pike with each thrust that this meant something, meant everything.
“Mmm.” Pike whined against Zack’s lips, body meeting Zack thrust for thrust. “Almost.”
“Close?” Zack whispered. Hell. So was he, pressure building so slowly he almost didn’t realize how close to the edge he was until Pike said something. But Pike had to come first. Zack might not know much about fucking, but he knew that. He put more thought into his thrusts, aiming for that spot, and sure enough Pike bucked against him, cock dragging against Zack’s abs.
“Yeah. Go fast.” Pike’s voice broke.
Fuck. Fast was going to mean that he came too, but he was powerless against his body’s need to comply with Pike’s request. Hips snapping, mouth finding Pike’s again, arms holding him close, he let his need dictate the pace and right...right there, as the first flicker of orgasm burned his muscles, Pike shouted and warmth hit Zack’s stomach.
“Oh, thank fuck. Yes. Thank you.” Zack babbled as he let his body tumble over, that flicker becoming a full-fledged forest fire burning through his senses. His sinuses burned and his eyes stung. Sweat. Tears. He couldn’t be bothered to give a fuck, every care gone except for the white-hot pleasure searing him. Done. He hadn’t felt so wrung out, even after Hell Week.
“Wait.” Pike got a hand between them right as Zack was about to flop next to him. “Gotta watch the condom.”
Oh yeah. Heat that had nothing to do with orgasm burned Zack’s cheeks as he carefully pulled out, hating Pike’s wince. He discarded the condom in the trash can next to the nightstand then stretched out next to Pike, stroking his face. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to hurt you at the end. You okay?”
“I’m more than okay.” Pike gazed bemusedly at him. “Trust me, that was fabulous. A plus.”
Zack drew a shuddery breath, trying to make sense of his jumbled thoughts. “I don’t feel different,” he said at last.
“Did you think you would?” Pike’s head tilted as he peered into Zack’s eyes. “Thought you’d feel gayer or something? Sorry, I don’t have a certificate to give you.”
Zack’s laugh startled the cat, making her leave the comfort of the office chair to come walk around on the bed. “Maybe. I don’t know. I just... I feel like me.” Fuck, he wasn’t explaining this right. “More like me. Like I’m supposed to be here with you.”
Pike snuggled in closer to him. “I think you’re supposed to be here too.”
Across the room, Pike’s phone buzzed with a message of some sort. “Do you want me to grab your phone?”
“Absolutely not.” Pike yawned. “Whatever it is, it can wait.”
Zack dropped a kiss on his forehead and tried to adopt that attitude. The world was waiting on them, but whatever was coming, it could wait. Just a little more time, right here with his guy, heart still recovering from the marathon of feelings and sensations.
Chapter Fifteen
“Oh, fuck me.” Pike shook his phone like that might make a different message appear, but all that did was make water droplets rain down from his hair onto the screen. Fuck. This was not what his peaceful Sunday needed.
“Thought I did,” Zack, who never slept in and yet totally had, said sleepily from the bed. He’d dozed straight past Pike rolling out for his shower.
“Did you just make a sex joke?” Pike blinked. This was a first. Zack almost never referred to what they did in bed. If he wanted to start something, he’d pull Pike into an embrace, but it still felt a bit clumsy, like Zack was a big puppy trying out his feet for the first time.
“Yeah, I think I did.” Zack sat up and stretched, covers pooling in his lap. Damn. Pike wanted a snapshot of this moment. Hot, ripped, blissed-out SEAL in his bed, bed head and everything. “That was damn good. Knocked me flat out. I haven’t slept that hard in years.”
“I’m glad.” Pike’s throat felt wrapped in wet wool again. Damn feels. What should have been a playful introduction to fucking for Zack ha
d turned all emotional because the man had a way of saying exactly what Pike’s soul needed to hear. And the way he kissed... A guy could lose a lifetime in those kisses.
“So what’s up with your phone? Bad news?”
“Good actually.” Pike’s voice sounded strained even to his own ears. He pulled his towel tighter around his waist. “Ryan and Josiah are in town for a brunch with some of Ryan’s old SEAL buddies, and they want to stop by afterward, maybe game for a bit before they head back to Santa Monica.”
“Oh.” Zack’s eyes went round as pizzas. “They want to come here.”
“Yup.” In the weeks since they’d started fooling around, they hadn’t had any visitors other than a few brief supply dropoffs from the senior chief’s wife. This totally felt like their island paradise, a place where they could forget about the outside world. Last night at the party it had been hard enough trying to not act like a couple, something made far more complicated by Zack suddenly turning into attentive boyfriend material, sharing food and acting like he couldn’t wait to get Pike alone.
But this was different. Neither of them had known the people at the party very well, which was probably why Zack had felt safe trying out some couple-like behaviors. This was their close friends, people who could guess. And they were invading Pike and Zack’s safe place, threatening everything. Despite an empty stomach, Pike seriously wanted to hurl.
“Okay.” Zack nodded sharply.
“Okay?”
“Okay. One of us really should clean the bathroom. Might want to hit the kitchen and the cat boxes too.” Zack stood, not meeting Pike’s eyes. Fuck. Pike couldn’t tell whether he was remarkably stoic about this or every bit as freaked out as Pike was. “You showered already?”
“Yeah.”
“Then let me take a fast one, and I’ll do the bathroom after. You want to start with the kitchen stuff? Then I can help out with the rest.”
Was it seriously going to be this easy? This domestic? Pike nodded because he didn’t trust himself to speak.
“And uh.” Zack paused, halfway through the door. “We shouldn’t... I mean...you know...”
Pike sighed. Nothing was ever that easy. “I know. I won’t say anything. Promise.”
“Thanks.” Zack’s eyes narrowed and he chewed on his lip, seeming to debate something. Then he took a step back into the room, gave Pike the world’s fastest kiss. “Thanks, man. Knew I could count on you.”
Knew I could count on you. Fuck, just like that Pike was fifteen again, assuring Roger that everything was their little secret, Roger just assuming Pike could keep everything on the down-low around their large friendship circle.
Zack’s not Roger. And he wasn’t—unlike Roger, who had always held a part of himself back, even when they were alone and intimate, Zack gave Pike everything, each kiss a window into a guy no one else got to see. Last night, Zack had let Pike see every bit of his wonder and tenderness, and said such sweet things. You’re all I need. Which only meant that the end was going to hurt that much more. For both of you.
Fuck that. Pike kicked a pile of laundry under his bed rather than taking the time to sort everything into his and Zack’s clothes. He needed to get into crisis cleaning mode, not mope around about things that weren’t going to change.
He did the cat boxes first because that nasty task was guaranteed to chase any emo feels away. Then he hit the kitchen while Zack, fresh from his shower, did the living room. With the newly painted cabinets and the tile counters they’d installed a few weeks back, the kitchen looked more than presentable after Pike loaded the dishwasher and wiped down the counters. Zack had swept the living room and even brought their laptops out and set them on the entertainment center near the TV. Funny how easily they could go into and out of each other’s rooms now.
“There. Our place looks awesome.” Zack grinned at Pike while he scarfed a bowl of cereal.
Our place. Pike’s heart might seriously not survive the day. The doorbell rang while Pike was considering his emotional EKG, and then everything was a rash of greetings and back-slapping hugs. Gentle on Ryan because he was on his prosthetic legs and Pike did not want to send him crashing to the floor.
Pike offered sodas and beer all around before he took a seat on the floor so that Josiah and Ryan and their laptop bags could take the couch while Zack took the papasan chair that Pike had recently picked up for free on the curb a few streets over. Josiah gave Pike a searching look.
And yeah, a few months ago, he totally would have wedged himself in between Josiah and Ryan because he liked being a dick like that, and he would have added more than one threesome joke and been a shameless flirt with Ryan, who it had to be said was hotter than sin. But not as hot as Zack.
“You okay?” Josiah asked him. “I didn’t interrupt your weekly sleep-till-two thing, did I?”
Another thing that had changed. Pike hadn’t slept late in ages, readily adapting to Zack’s early schedule. Behind him, Zack coughed. Way to play it cool. Got to hope you never get interrogated. “Nah. Anymore I’m up early to work on house stuff with Zack.”
Which was totally true even if the past few Sundays had included rubbing off together before any real work happened.
“So what are we playing?” Zack’s voice was way too eager.
“Not poker,” Pike said without thinking.
“You’re funny. I haven’t played that since college, and even then, I sucked.” Josiah made a face, then patted his bag. “I brought new expansion pack codes for Space Villager if you want to cash in on our latest upgrades.”
“He’s just a bit proud of them,” Ryan added drily, reaching over to ruffle Josiah’s hair. Pike had spent a lot of time in the past year or so jealous over Ryan and Josiah, but never more so than that easy touch. Never getting that.
“Sure. Hit me with your free stuff, o mighty one,” Pike cracked as he opened his own laptop and hit the power button, only to be greeted by the sounds of the Peppy Boys video he and Zack had been watching last night before Zack had closed the laptop and they had...
Oh fuck.
“Jesus, Pike,” Ryan barked. “You’re scaring Zack.”
Pike very, very carefully did not look over at Zack, because he knew Zack was over there dying and even a glance between them was going blow up everything. Either he was going to crack up or Zack was going to kill him in one of the umpteen ways a SEAL knew how to off a guy or both. Yeah. Totally not looking at Zack.
Instead, he drew upon two decades of being everyone’s favorite comedian to keep his voice light. “Dude. We’ve lived together couple of months now. I permanently scarred him weeks ago.”
“Hey, do you have a subscription account?” Josiah leaned forward. “And is that Tate and Aaron?”
“I’m not even asking how you know their names,” Ryan groaned, shoving Josiah’s shoulder. “How about you hand them the swag with the codes on it while Zack can still breathe?”
Pike finally let himself look at Zack, who sure enough did seem in the midst of some sort of oxygen crisis, skin having gone pale and his lips pressed together.
I’m not about to sell you out. Pike tried to send him some calming vibes while Josiah passed him a little postcard with a new ship logo on it for Space Villager, the game Josiah worked for. Attached to the postcard was a credit-card-sized piece of metal with a redemption code on it.
“Fancy,” Pike cracked.
“It’s for our top-level backers and our regular beta testers.”
“And us.” Pike forced a grin.
Behind him, Zack let out a sigh. “Fuck.”
“What’s the matter?” Josiah beat Pike to the asking.
“I can’t remember my Space Villager account info. I think I stored it in the password app on my phone, but my I don’t know where my phone is. Let me go check my room.” He dashed away, down the hal
l.
“Here. I’ll just call it for you,” Josiah said, following after him.
Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. His breakfast burned in Pike’s throat as he realized exactly where Zack’s phone was—under Pike’s bed, still in Zack’s pants from last night.
“Wait, I think I know—” He tried to head Josiah off, but it was too late. He and Josiah were both in the hallway when Zack’s ringtone chirped and chimed, the sound very clearly coming from Pike’s room.
“Maybe I got confused and grabbed it by mistake instead of mine.” Pike tried to think fast. “I’ll just go check.” He darted into the room, but Josiah, who was a great guy with a piss-poor sense of boundaries, followed.
“It’s not...” Zack appeared in the doorway, and Pike could see the exact instant that he realized where the phone was, all color leaching from his face. Fuck. Without Mr. No-Poker-Face, Pike might have been able to pull off a story, but Josiah’s shrewd gaze darted between the two of them.
Fuck. Pike bent down, fished around under the bed and came up with the still-ringing phone. He shut off the ringer and tossed it to Zack, who caught it with wooden hands.
“One of the cats must have knocked it down there.” Pike shrugged. He used his foot to make sure that Zack’s pants or shoes weren’t poking out. “No clue.”
“No clue,” Zack echoed.
“Zack—” Josiah started, all earnest.
“Josiah.” Pike put a decade’s worth of friendship into the warning. Lord only knew what was about to spring out of Josiah’s mouth but any sort of well-meaning sentiment or, worse, a “welcome to the gay-borhood” hug was going to send Zack running.
“I’m just saying—”
“Don’t.” Face still the color of ashes, Zack turned and fled from the room.
“Hell.” Josiah’s shoulders deflated as he stared at Pike. “I just fucked something up for you, didn’t I?”
Pike’s laugh was a bitter, bitter thing. “Oh, it was fucked long before now.”
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