Longing for Kayla

by Lauren Fraser

  Granger shifted uncomfortably on his heels, looking anywhere but at the crying woman. They’d been through this kind of thing before. Knowing how uneasy crying women made his partner, Chris took the lead. He stepped toward the edge of the bed. “Eileen, your husband is in lockup right now. But we can’t hold him for very long without a sworn statement from you.”

  Her bottom lip quivered. “What do you need?”

  Chris pulled back, stunned. He’d expected to have to do the whole big song and dance about why she should leave. He never expected her to be ready. “Um, I just need to take a statement from you so we can press formal charges.”

  Her head bobbed weakly, the only indication she had heard him.

  “Do you have anywhere you can stay?”

  Without speaking, Eileen shook her head.

  “We can take you to a woman’s shelter and get you settled after we get your statement.”

  “My kids will be with me, right?”

  “Of course.”

  She studied Chris as if she expected him to be lying. “I can’t lose my kids,” she whispered.

  “You won’t.”

  She titled her head toward the nurses’ station. “I overheard them saying how people like me didn’t deserve to keep their kids.”

  Chris’ jaw clenched. Just what he needed. Why did he have to deal with that crap on top of everything else? They should know better than to voice their opinions where anyone could hear.

  “I have no doubt if you go to the shelter, you’ll be able to keep your kids with you.” Chris turned to his partner. “You want to make a call?”

  Granger nodded and left the room, leaving Chris alone with the woman.

  “I bet you think I’m pretty stupid to put up with that.”

  Chris raised his shoulders. “It’s not my place to judge you.”

  The empty, hollow sound of her laughter spoke of her despair. “I was raised that good girls get married and have kids. They do what their husbands say, make sure the meals are on the table.” She wiped angrily at her uninjured eye. “I thought I was doing what I was supposed to. I thought that was what love was.”

  Her words hit Chris in the gut. How was what he was doing any different? He had this picture in his head of what love and a relationship were supposed to look like. What he had. What he wanted. It didn’t fit into that pretty picture at all.

  But looking at this broken and battered woman, she had the picture-perfect life. The ideal. And behind the scenes there was nothing idyllic about it. This woman would be better off alone. It was sad the things people were willing to accept trying to hold on to a dream. Hell, he didn’t even know if the dream existed.

  Was he being an idiot to pass up what he could have with Jesse and Kayla just because it didn’t fit the mold he thought he should have?

  He rubbed his hand across the ache in his chest. What the hell was he going to do?

  * * * * *

  Kayla flipped open her cell phone to check that it had service for about the tenth time. Why the hell wasn’t Chris calling her back? Oh, he could be such a stubborn jerk.

  It was killing her that she hadn’t been able to talk to him since he’d stormed out of the cabin. They’d waited for him, but he never came back and they’d finally had to leave to get Jesse back to work that night.

  How had things gotten so messed up? She’d lost her two best friends. Maybe she should never have admitted her feelings. But as her mind raced back over their time together, she couldn’t regret one single moment. She loved them both and knew how good it could be between them. She prayed Chris would come to the same conclusion.

  She needed to get her mind off him. She felt as if she’d been walking around in a fog all night. She couldn’t focus, she hadn’t seen or heard from Chris in five days. She was worried, it wasn’t like him not to call her. She knew he had a lot to figure out, but it just seemed like it would be easier to figure out together.

  A light tapping on her door pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked up to see Anita, one of the intake workers.

  “What’s up?”

  “Officer Granger just called. He and Officer Hanson are bringing in a woman and her two kids, three and five. She’s been pretty roughed up.”

  “Okay, when are they arriving?”

  “They were just leaving the hospital, so about twenty minutes.”

  “Okay, get Melissa to make sure room four is ready to go.”

  “Will do,” Anita said and left the office in search of the other woman.

  Chris was bringing someone in. Well, at least she’d get to see him. Normally they preferred female officers to come to the house, but Chris was one of the few officers who put the domestic abuse women at ease. For a big guy, he had an incredibly calm, gentle way about him with both the women and their children. It was as if they instinctually knew they were safe with him. And they were.

  Watching the Transition House’s security monitors, she saw the unmarked police car pull up. She buzzed open the gate. When the car parked, Chris and his partner both picked up a sleeping child from the backseat and carried them toward the house through the snow, with the woman walking between them. Puffs of condensed air flew rapidly from the woman’s mouth, letting Kayla know just how painful her movements were. Her slow, shuffled steps a clear indication she had taken a good beating tonight.

  Before they had a chance to get to the door, Kayla pulled it open to welcome the family to their safe haven. “Hi, come on in,” she told them and stepped back from the door.

  Hungry for a chance to see Chris, she waited for him to look at her. The pained expression on his face nearly broke her heart. He hated these cases. She smiled at him and received a weak smile in return. A weak smile was better than nothing.

  They followed Kayla down the hall into the intake office. She gestured for the woman to take a seat. “I’m Kayla. I’m a social worker here at the house.”

  “Eileen,” the woman whispered in response.

  “Nice to meet you, Eileen.”

  From a separate door, two women arrived and stood silently, waiting for Kayla to introduce them. “Eileen?” Kayla gently touched the battered woman’s arm. “This is Melissa and Sheila, they’re going to take the kids up and get them settled into bed. That way we can talk privately for a bit, to help get you settled in here.”

  Eileen’s eyes darted between the adults in the room like a caged animal, looking for an escape. Kayla stepped closer to her. “Eileen, I promise your children are safe here.” She held the woman’s gaze. “You are safe here.”

  The woman finally agreed, and Kayla smiled. “It’s late. Let your kids get some sleep.”

  Defeated, Eileen sighed and waved her hand. “Fine.”

  When the children left the room, Eileen looked up at Kayla. “It’s not as bad as you’re thinking.”

  Kayla sighed. How many times had she heard that before?

  “Really it’s not. Jordan would never hurt the kids.”

  “Eileen, he is hurting the kids,” Kayla told her gently.

  “No, he’d never hit them.” Tears streamed down her face. “He loves us.”

  Kayla crouched down in front of Eileen so they were on eye level and squeezed her arm. “Eileen, that’s not love.”

  Unable to stop herself, Kayla looked up at Chris, allowing all the love she felt for him to be seen on her face, praying he would realize just how special what they had really was.

  He looked away and paced around the room. Shit. Oh well, there would be time enough for that later, right now she needed to focus on this woman.

  “Eileen, do you want some coffee or something?”

  “Coffee would be great.”

  “All right, I’ll walk these officers out and grab you a cup and be right back.”

  Kayla walked to the door with Chris and his partner. Before Chris had a chance to walk away, she grabbed his arm to stop him. Granger continued walking toward the car. “You work tomorrow night?”

  “Nah, I
have four off.”

  She stepped closer to him. “Come to dinner.”

  “Kayla, I don’t know.”

  “What happened to fuck convention?” She gripped his arm tighter. Everything in her wanted to force him to listen to her, to admit he wanted this. What they had didn’t come along very often. It was worth fighting for. She needed him to give this a chance. “Chris, we love you. That matters.”

  He ran his hand roughly over his face. She could hear the stubble brushing his hand. “Fine, dinner.”

  He pulled his hand away and backed up. “I gotta go.”

  * * * * *

  The moment they were back in the car, Granger turned in the passenger seat. “All right, what the hell’s going on with you and Kayla?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Oh come on, Hanson. I couldn’t shoot my way through the tension between you two.”

  Chris scowled. “Nothing.”

  “Don’t bullshit me. You’ve been in a pissy mood all week. I just figured you and Jesse were having some kind of lovers’ spat.”

  His head jerked up to look at his partner. “Lovers’ spat?”

  “I don’t know the right term, but yeah, I mean when I’m fighting with my wife, you always tell me I’m all pissy.”

  Chris stared at him, unable to even speak. He finally found his tongue. “Why would you think we were a couple?”

  Granger shrugged. “Come on, you guys are like thirty and you just bought a house together. That kind of says couple, doesn’t it?”

  “No. Why would it mean we were a couple? What kind of logic is that?”

  “I don’t know. I mean you three are inseparable. Kayla’s fucking hot and neither of you ever date her, so I just assumed you were gay.”

  Chris rubbed his hand through his hair. How the hell could he not have known his partner thought he was gay all this time? Well, at least he knew Granger wouldn’t be asking for a new partner if he chose to go after what his gut was telling him to.

  “You’re not having a lovers’ spat? Are you having one with Kayla?”

  Chris exhaled loudly. “I don’t know what the fuck we’re all having.”

  “I hear ya. Relationships are a bitch.” Granger continued to watch Chris for a while, not speaking. Finally, he breathed out deeply. “Look, it’s none of my business, but for what it’s worth, I think they’re both great and you’d be an idiot to fuck up having them in your life.”

  Chris didn’t know if Granger had figured out what the situation was, or if he just meant the friendship, but for the rest of his shift he couldn’t stop thinking about it. His mind replayed the conversations with Granger and Kayla, the look of pain on Eileen’s face when she talked about what was expected of her. His mind spun in circles about what love was.

  Chapter Six

  The following night, Chris nervously stood outside of Kayla’s apartment, unable to knock on the door. He honestly just didn’t know how this night would play out. Quit being such a pussy.

  Kayla answered so fast after he knocked it was as if she had been standing there, waiting for him. Just the sight of her eased the ache that had been crawling around in his gut for the past week and it was all he could do not to grab her and never let go. God he’d missed her.

  Inside her apartment, he immediately ditched his jacket. She always kept her apartment hot, like it was summer all year round so it was not surprising to see her wearing jeans and a tank top, her feet bare. She looked incredible.

  “I’m glad you came.” Her wary smile made him feel like such an ass. He’d never meant to hurt her. He was and always had been one hundred percent sure of his feelings for her. It was just his feelings for Jesse that had him so fucked up.

  “Me too.” He stepped toward her and pulled her into a hug.

  “Jesus, Chris. I’ve missed you.” She melted into his body and everything about it just felt so right.

  Kayla pulled back and grabbed his hand. “Come into the kitchen. I made your favorite.” As they walked down the hall, he could smell the ribs cooking and his stomach called out in appreciation of the aromas.

  Her laugh bubbled to the surface. “Glad you brought your appetite.”

  When he walked into the kitchen, Jesse stood leaning against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest. “Well, well, look who’s here.”

  The surge of lust he felt when he looked at Jesse hit him like a hammer to the head. He’d expected to feel that about Kayla, but he honestly thought with a little time and space his feelings for Jesse would go back to normal.

  “Hey, Jes.”

  “You’ve been avoiding me for almost a week and all you have to say is ‘hey, Jes’? What’s that?”

  Kayla stepped between them. “Guys, let’s not get off on the wrong foot here. Who wants a beer?”

  Tension filled the room like a heavy fog. Kayla handed them both a beer and fluttered around the room like a nervous hostess who didn’t know what to do to make the party work.

  Chris placed his hand on top of hers on the counter. “Relax, Kay. You’ve got me here. I told you I’d stay for dinner and I will.”

  “And after dinner?” Her voice slid across his chest and pulled at him.

  “I don’t know.”

  Jesse grunted and pushed off the counter. “Why are you being such a pussy and fighting what you’re feeling?”

  “Fuck you,” Chris told him.

  “Please do.” The raw, naked yearning in Jesse’s voice drained away all the anger in Chris’ body.

  What the hell was he doing? He wanted this as much as they both did. Why the hell was he fighting it? In that moment, he knew what he wanted his future to be. A life with the two people he loved most in the world.

  “Bedroom, now.” The rough guttural sound of his voice surprised even him as it ripped through the silence in the room. Jesse’s body didn’t move. Dazed, he looked at Kayla and Chris as if he were unsure about what he had just heard.

  Chris peeled off his shirt and threw it on the floor. “What are you two waiting for?”

  Kayla’s sexy grin made his cock twitch. “You heard the man,” she said and grabbed Jesse’s hand and propelled him down the hall.

  Inside her bedroom, Kayla and Jesse stood together, waiting for Chris to run the show.

  Their complete willingness to let him control the situation was incredibly erotic. His breathing grew more rapid as he anticipated what he planned to do. He smiled at Kayla and tucked his fingers into the waistband of his pants and peeled them down his body.

  “Clothes off and lie back on the bed, Kay.” A smile split her face and she eagerly shed her clothes and lay back.

  Jesse stood, his hands in his pockets, his face wary, unsure as he watched them.

  Chris stepped toward him and cupped the back of his neck and looked deeply into his best friend’s eyes.

  “Why are you still dressed? I thought you wanted to be fucked.”

  Jesse’s mouth dropped open, surprised. “Really?” Jesse’s hopeful tone and the love shining on his face hit Chris like a punch to the solar plexus.

  Man, he had been such an ass. He’d hurt them both so much with his stupid fears.

  “Yeah, really.” He dropped a slow, lingering kiss on Jesse’s lips.

  When they pulled apart, Chris glanced at Kayla. She sat on the bed, tears running down her cheeks and a smile on her face. “Thank you,” she mouthed to him.

  How the hell did he ever get so lucky as to have these two people love him so much?

  Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Jesse stood beside him naked and fully erect.

  Allowing his gaze to rake across Jesse’s body, his hunger grew. “I want you to eat Kay while I fuck you.” Jesse’s slow, sinful smile in return was all the answer Chris needed.

  Grabbing a condom and a bottle of lube from the bedside table, Chris put them both on his cock while he watched Jesse crawl across the bed and bury his face between Kayla’s legs.

  “Fuck that’s hot,” Chris sa
id and placed his knee on the edge of the bed. Jesse raised his head and glanced over his shoulder, smiled and spread his legs farther apart, putting his ass on complete submissive display.

  Bottle of lube in hand, Chris ran his left hand across Jesse’s back. With his right, he flipped open the lube and squirted a generous amount in Jesse’s ass. He needed him well-lubed for what he wanted to do.

  “You ever done this before?

  “No.”

  “It’s gonna hurt.”

  “I don’t care. I want this.”Jesse held Chris’ gaze until he agreed.

  “Get back to our girl then.” Chris tilted his head toward Kayla’s body.

  He rubbed his finger along the tight bud then inserted it. Jesse’s ass was tight. He couldn’t wait to bury his dick inside. Swirling his finger around to loosen the area up, he pushed against his prostrate and laughed when Jesse shuddered.

  “You like that?”

  Jesse moaned in reply and moved against Kayla, causing her to buck against his face and moan in return.

  Chris removed his finger and placed his dick at the entrance to Jesse’s ass. “You ready?”

  “Just fucking do it already.”

  Laughing, he looked over Jesse’s shoulder and met Kayla’s eye. “I love you,” he mouthed silently.

  Fresh tears slid down her cheek. “I love you too,” she told him.

  Knowing they were all on the same page was an amazing feeling. He pressed his cock inside the tight hole and met resistance. “You okay?” he asked. His teeth clenched as he tried to hold back so he didn’t hurt Jesse.

  “I’m good,” Jesse gritted out.

  Kayla laced her fingers into Jesse’s hair. The gesture comforting, accepting. Jesse lifted his head to look at her. Whatever look she saw had her nodding to give Chris the okay to continue.

  Pushing past the resistance, Chris inserted himself fully. Jesse moaned in pleasure and pressed his ass back against Chris.

  Oh yeah, they were ready now. Gripping Jesse’s hips with both hands, he pulled back and pounded into his tight hole.

  Jesse’s mouth slurped against Kayla’s pussy and her hips bucked against his face. The sight of Jesse pleasuring the woman they both loved while he fucked him was more amazing than he ever could have imagined.