The Spirus

by JB Trepagnier

  “Lisana is the only child in our family’s entire history to go missing like this. You can’t see why we would ask? You look like Esylle.”

  “Maybe one of your ancestors had a child outside of the marriage bed and that’s how I can call to you. I don’t know. I don’t know who I am, but I don’t know how many other ways I can tell either of you that I’m not her.”

  “I think Esylle needs to go to Idric and find out what all of this is about. You know how Belisarus is with his secrets. He has the answers to all of this.”

  Joron’s eyes had never left her face since she had turned back from the cat. “Why did Belisarus send you and not come himself if he has a message he can only deliver in person? Why does Esylle have to make the long journey to Idric where she can’t defend herself once she is there?”

  “Belisarus is old now,” Soryn said. “His legs swell up and sometimes he can’t get out of bed. He couldn’t have made this journey even if he wanted too. I don’t think he will be here for many more years. If his legs aren’t swelling, his chest hurts. He’s old and white now. If you want his message, we should leave soon.”

  Leodos spoke again. “Whatever message he has, I think it concerns Esylle, Lisana, and how this girl is related to you. Maybe what she just told us, about his declining health, is why he wants to tell Esylle now. If this girl is Lisana, and I’ve already told Esylle several times I don’t think she is, Belisarus has that answer. If she is, somehow Lisana, despite everything she can do, Belisarus has the answers why and Esylle doesn’t have to do what she is not wanting to do, which is remarry.”

  Joron’s eyes finally left Soryn’s face to rest on Esylle. He looked at her sadly. “What if you get there and he knows nothing about Lisana and this girl is right that one of our ancestors had a child out of wedlock? I see your eyes and I know you have all your hopes that this girl is her. What if you go and just get hurt all over again?”

  “He never spoke to me of Lisana,” Soryn said. “I didn’t know about her until I overheard you talking. I don’t know who I am, but I don’t know how many ways I can say that I’m not her so that you stop having that look on your face when you look at me.”

  “You have no way of knowing you aren’t her,” Esylle said, stubbornly.

  “Yes, I do. You are Tempris and your husband was a human. I wouldn’t be the way I am if you were my parents.”

  “Rivannus was a stranger when I met him. No one seemed to know him and everyone was against me marrying him. He told me he was a simple hunter, but he always seemed to have extra senses when we went out to the forest alone. He always hid it with bandages, so I could never see if he healed like you, but sometimes, he would come back from hunting bleeding heavily. He insisted on bandaging everything himself, but looking back on it now, he never seemed to feel any pain shortly afterward. He could have been hiding things from me and that’s how you got your abilities.”

  “I know you want me to be her, but I think you are reaching at nothing trying to make me something I’m not. Maybe Belisarus knows something about her and that’s his message for you and why he wanted to give it in person, but if he was your tutor like he was mine and he cared about you, why would he wait so long to tell you he knew something? Why wouldn’t he have told me I would meet my mother if I came the weeks I was refusing to come?”

  “Maybe he wanted me to tell you.”

  “Please stop,” Soryn pleaded. “I’m not her and I don’t want to keep explaining that I can’t be. If we are leaving, we need to do it soon because the weather around Idric is going to start getting rough and we won’t find anyone who will take us by boat.”

  “Do you have guards you can trust?” Leodos asked Joron. “The girl knows not to reveal herself and Esylle has been hiding it long enough not to expose herself. We need maybe five well-trained guards in addition to me in case word has gotten back to the tribes about the girl and they try to take her. I worry what they intend to use her for based on their reaction to her.”

  “You’ll have five guards in the morning and can leave then. I’ll give an excuse to the Lords here as to why Esylle is not meeting with them and I’ll make up a story as to why she’s gone to Idric. Don’t stay there long. Get his message and come back here as soon as possible. If this girl is not Lisana, we need a marriage soon. She needs to change her clothes because she can’t wear those robes without questions.”

  Not knowing how she was able to, Soryn thought her clothes into clothing like she had seen since she arrived as Joron stalked out the door.

  Esylle

  Esylle didn’t want to let this girl out of her sight now that she knew more about her. She could feel it in her bones that she was Lisana, even if she kept insisting she was not. She didn’t know how she could have ended up with Belisarus all the way on Idric, but maybe since his health was declining, Belisarus was finally ready to tell the truth.

  She argued with Soryn about wanting to sleep outside again. Esylle wanted her in her room with her and Soryn kept insisting the castle made her uncomfortable and she would rather sleep outside. She didn’t think she was going to be able to talk her into sleeping inside, when her strange friend that she called Frog, kept insisting he wanted to sleep inside.

  “You slept outside fine for years!” she snapped at him.

  “And since you gifted me, I prefer sleeping inside now. Why would we sleep outside when it’s so comfortable in here?”

  “You’re spoiled, Frog. You like being human too much and there’s so much you still don’t understand.”

  Esylle thought they were going to argue in front of her and Soryn was going to sleep outside whether she wanted her to or not, but she seemed to relent when Frog said he wanted to stay inside. Esylle remembered her story that she wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone and she only was able to once she created Frog, somehow. She could tell Frog meant a lot to Soryn and Frog worshiped her. Soryn said she needed to get the bag she had hidden in the woods and would come back and sleep inside, but she said it like sleeping inside was the last thing she wanted to do.

  Leodos had not left the room and was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. When he offered to go with her to get her bag to protect her, Esylle saw her mouth open and Leodos cut her off and knew exactly what she was about to say. He told her she needed to just sit back and let someone else protect her. He also told her she would have to get used to it because there were going to be five guards in addition to himself with them on the long journey for protection and she absolutely could not expose herself to them. She relented and allowed him to follow her out. She made Frog stay in Esylle’s chambers.

  When she was alone with the strange looking man, at first, she wasn’t sure what to say to him. He had a strange, raspy voice that was a little hard to listen to.

  “You care about her a lot, don’t you?” she asked him.

  “Frogs don’t live long. When she changed me, she gave me a longer life and several gifts. She taught me several things after she changed me. She can be who she is around me and not worry about me hurting her because I am different, like she is.”

  “What do you know about her?” she asked. Maybe this Frog could tell her some of the things Soryn was saying she didn’t know. Esylle didn’t know if she really didn’t know or she was refusing to tell them.

  “I know as much as she knows. All she knows is that she somehow ending up at Idric with Belisarus and she can do things there you’re not supposed to be able to do. She doesn’t know how or why. She doesn’t know how she ended up there. The only reason she agreed to come here was for answers. She was scared to leave because she had always been told she would be hurt if anyone found out about her. That’s why I knew I had to follow her, even though she told me I had to stay.”

  “Why did you think you could protect her better than she could protect herself, given everything she can do?”

  “The tall man stopped wanting her hurt her when she showed herself after he said he would hurt me to get her to talk. They wo
uld still be down there with him trying to get something out of her if I hadn’t shown up.”

  “You would sacrifice yourself for her like that?”

  “She won’t allow me to be hurt.”

  Just then, Soryn showed back up with Leodos. She still seemed irritated that he had gone with her and the fact that she was sleeping in the castle tonight. Esylle was still convinced Soryn just didn’t know who she was, but she had been away from her so long, Esylle had no idea what to say to her to relax her. Leodos asked her to show him the flute she talked about now that she had her bag. Esylle watched her pull an ornately carved bone flute out of her bag and hand it to Leodos.

  He brought it over to the light she had lit while they were gone to study it. “Where did you get this? Do you know what these symbols mean?”

  “It was given to me when I was young and I learned to play it. This was before Frog and there wasn’t much for me to do after my lessons except play by myself. I don’t know what those symbols mean. Like I’ve already told you, he kept things from me.”

  “This flute is ancient. Much older than Belisarus and I don’t know how he came by it or gave it to you. I don’t know what these symbols are.”

  “I don’t know them either. He never taught what they meant. He seems to know things about almost everything, but he would never tell me how he came to know them. He taught me what he thought I should know and nothing else.”

  “Will you play?” Esylle asked, thinking that playing might finally get her to relax.

  “I don’t know why, but I’m not supposed to play until we’ve started our journey back to Idric.”

  “I don’t think you should play it at all,” Leodos warned. “If regular animals appear when you play this, how do you know the tribes won’t come?”

  “They didn’t want to hurt me. I’d like to ask them why they had that reaction to me.”

  “You can’t ask them anything! I don’t want them to know where you are or how to find you. The three that saw you were prisoners, and I’m only hoping they don’t have means to get the word out about you. You’re something special to them and I don’t know if they want to use you for something dangerous to both us and you. Wait until you get home and ask Belisarus since he promised you answers now.”

  “You keep talking about how they only want to do bad things and you need to protect me from them, but a part of me is like them too. If they are bad, then so am I!”

  “I don’t know what you are, but you have no tribe. You weren’t raised with them. You weren’t raised to distrust us.”

  “No, I was raised to fear you. Isn’t it the same thing?”

  “Let’s not argue,” Esylle said, trying to lighten the mood. “I don’t think Soryn has eaten all day and she must be hungry. You must be too, Leodos. Why don’t we have dinner brought up?”

  “I’d rather go outside and find my dinner,” Soryn said. She still didn’t seem like she wanted to stay in the castle.

  “Why would you go hunt when you can just have food brought here? Why don’t you let us take care of you while you are here? I know you spent a lot of time alone, but you aren’t now.”

  “I don’t hunt. You think I would eat animals after Frog and everything I can turn into? I think if I killed something for food, I wouldn’t be able to make myself change into it again.”

  “Then what do you eat?”

  “I can find roots or plants. Belisarus taught me how to find things to eat. He paid someone to bring us food. I couldn’t forage outside our house, but I know how.”

  “Just sit down and relax. We can prepare something for you to eat and have it brought up here. You really need to accept that this could possibly be your home,” Esylle told her.

  “I’m not Lisana. I don’t know how many more ways to say it. I wouldn’t come back here with you after you got your message. I would stay in Idric where I’m safe.”

  “Why would you stay somewhere you seem miserable? You said Belisarus won’t be around much longer. What are you going to do there? Hide in the house you grew up in, never leaving and paying people to shop for you? Talking to no one except Frog?”

  “Maybe that’s where I need to be? You’ve both convinced yourself I’m not dangerous. How do you know the only reason I’m not is because that’s how Belisarus raised me? How do you know he didn’t keep from me who and what I am because I’m dangerous?”

  Esylle had watched her mood go from irritated to sad and she could see Soryn’s eyes start to water. Esylle didn’t know why Belisarus kept everything from this girl, but maybe he had done more harm than good. The girl just said she thought maybe she wasn’t told things because maybe there was something bad about her and Leodos had been talking all day about how he needed to protect her from the tribes because they wanted to use her for something bad. Esylle just wanted her to relax and see her smile. Lisana was a happy baby and smiled and laughed often. Maybe if she could see Soryn smile, she would know for sure. She was almost sure she knew, but everyone else seemed convinced she was most likely not Lisana.

  She stuck her head out and asked about having food brought up and mentioned something for Soryn. She tried to get her to sit down with her and relax, but Soryn just seemed to want to pace. Finally, Esylle just asked her. “What makes you so uncomfortable here? We have everything you could possibly want. No one is going to hurt you. If you can call to me, this is your home.”

  “This is not my home. This place is too big and there are too many things here. None of you talk like me and there are too many strange smells. It’s very different than Idric here.”

  “I’ve never been there, but I can imagine this is a huge change for you, never being able to leave your house. Why don’t you relax and enjoy what we have here instead of just concentrating on how strange and different it is for you? I imagine you may have found the rest of Idric strange once you were finally allowed out of the house,” Esylle told her. She was trying to say anything she could to relax her. She had a feeling the girl wasn’t going to relax until they got back to Idric. She knew she was making the girl uncomfortable by staring at her, but she couldn’t help it now that she was sure she knew who she was.

  Before she could think of anything else to make her relax, she watched her turn back into the house cat she was before and stalk across the room to curl up by the window. Esylle knew she was doing it because she didn’t want to talk anymore and most likely thought Esylle wouldn’t stare at her in the way she had been doing when she did not have her human face. Esylle watched as Leodos left his perch against the wall to look down on her, angrily.

  “You can’t do this every time you are done talking about something or you want to shut someone out. You’re not going to be able to do this at all when we leave. If you’re scared the guards will hurt you if they find out about you, why are you acting like a child? Everyone saw a girl come in here and a girl needs to be in here when they bring in dinner!”

  Esylle watched her change back, but she stayed sitting on the floor with her arms crossed. “I knew I shouldn’t have come here,” she muttered.

  “Think about everything you’ve learned since you’ve arrived. You’ve met me and my father and we are your family.”

  “I was stripped naked, questioned, had my friend threatened, learned Belisarus lied to me about the tribes, and you won’t stop staring at me with this look on your face because you think I’m someone I’m not.”

  “And now you have people who want to protect you now that they know your secrets. I can’t help the way I stare at you and you can hardly blame me for thinking you are her.”

  Soryn looked away and did not get up off the floor. Esylle knew she was making her uncomfortable staring, she just couldn’t help it. There was a knock at the door and Leodos told Soryn to get up off the floor and stop acting like a child. She got up as the servants were bringing platters of food in. No one questioned who she was, but Esylle saw that Soryn refused to meet any eyes as they tried to not be seen staring at her, most likely not
icing the resemblance between Soryn and the royal family. She watched Soryn make faces every time she tried a different dish of food. When Esylle asked her if she liked the food, all Soryn would say was that there were spices here that they didn’t have on Idric and it took some getting used to.

  When it came time for bed, Esylle dismissed her servants and was going to have Soryn sleep in their beds. Soryn wanted to change back into the cat and sleep on the floor, but Frog wanted to sleep in the bed and she eventually relented. Leodos had already gone back to his chambers. Esylle just reminded her that everyone knew her as a girl, so she couldn’t keep changing here. She tried not to be hard on her like Leodos was when he reminded her not to reveal herself. Esylle wasn’t worried about that. She had been raised to hide, like she had. The only reason she had was because she had been instructed to reveal herself to Esylle. She knew now the only reason she talked to Leodos was because he threatened Frog and if Frog hadn’t shown up, they might still be in the dungeon with her refusing to talk.

  Esylle wanted to embrace her and tuck her into bed, but she knew the girl would not allow it. Esylle got into her bed and was eventually able to fall asleep.

  Leodos

  Leodos was up early the next morning to meet with the five guards chosen to go with them. He knew the girl and Esylle knew not to expose themselves, but he was worried about Soryn’s temper. He was also unsure what she would do if the guards had a bad reaction to Frog. It could possibly be dangerous and he hoped the guards chosen were loyal enough to the royal family to not do anything rash should the girl do something stupid.

  The five guards were lined up to meet them and he knew all of them. Mafir, Kibal, Alirak, and Bastan he knew to be good men. He knew they were loyal and he could count on them to possibly not comment on Frog and do the job they were assigned to do. It was the fifth guard, Tollam, that he worried about. He didn’t know why Tollam was chosen to go with them. He was an excellent swordsman and bowmen. Probably the top out of all the guard that they had. He knew Tollam had a temper and a weakness for drink and women. Tollam was arrogant and not a kind man. He could foresee many clashes with Tollam and Soryn, he just hoped Soryn could control herself to not do anything stupid.