With a sigh I send Nigel a text message.
Me: I need to talk to you.
To my surprise, he answers immediately: What about? Everything okay?
Me: Yeah. Everything okay with you?
Nigel: I’m doing great.
Me: What did you do last night?
Nigel: Nothing much. Stayed in. Got a take-away. Watched some telly. Missed you like crazy.
Me: Do you ever still feel like gambling?
Nigel: NEVER.
Me: Not even a bit?
Nigel: Not even a bit. All I want is for you to come back so we can start our life together again. I can’t wait for you to come back, Star.
Me: Funny thing happened last night.
Nigel: What?
Me: I saw you in Ziggurat.
For a full minute there is no reply. Then:
Nigel: What do you mean you saw me there? You mean outside?
Me: No. Inside. At a roulette table.
My phone rings. I accept the call and hold it to my ear.
“I was not gambling, Star. I’m finished with all that. That was not even my money. You have to believe me that I was just keeping my boss company. I had to pretend. To keep him happy. You know how it works.”
“Jesus, Nigel. How stupid do you think I am?”
“You don’t believe me?”
“No.”
“As if I would jeopardize everything by gambling again. Come on, Star. You know me better than that.”
“It would seem I don’t know you at all.”
“Okay. I was gambling last night. I regressed, okay. I’m sorry It happens to all of us at the beginning of the treatment. I’m sorry I lied. I just don’t want to lose you. I love you, Star.”
“I went to the house last night.”
“You did?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Just wanted to see the house.”
His voice is cautious. “I don’t keep it as clean as you.”
“You brought someone else back and fucked her in our bedroom, didn’t you?’
“Eh! No, What? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You let her wear my uniform.”
There is a shocked silence. “No, I didn’t,” he splutters.
“God. You’re such a liar.”
“I’m not lying. I swear. I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“How could I have been so blind?”
“I’m not lying.”
“Whatever. There is no longer any need to meet. All I wanted to say is that I’m leaving you. I’ll be filing for divorce as soon as I can.”
“On what basis?”
“I suppose the easiest would be irreconcilable differences.”
“Don’t be so silly. You can’t make it without me.”
“I beg to differ.”
“If you think I’m going to support you with alimony payments for the rest of your life you better think again. You won’t get a penny from me.”
“I don’t want anything from you. You can have it all.”
“What will you do? Live at your nan’s place together with your dad, and become a clerk somewhere? I can tell you now you won’t even earn enough to buy a pair of good shoes. After the good life I’ve given you, you won’t last a day.”
“I won’t have to become a clerk. I’ll be an author.”
He laughs uproariously. “What do you think? Anybody can become an author? There are millions of people who want to be authors and only a handful have the talent to become one. I suppose in your tiny mind you imagine that publishers are just lining up to buy your book.”
“My entire series has already been picked up by a publisher.” It is astonishing how much pleasure and satisfaction I get from saying that to him. All these years he tried to keep me down. Well, I floated to the top, Nigel.
“Bullshit,” he explodes.
“It’s true.”
“What? You sold your series to a publisher?”
“Well, not me. My agent did.”
“Since when do you have an agent?” His voice is deadly quiet.
“Last week.”
“And you’ve already sold your book?” he asks incredulously.
“Yeah, my agent held a mini auction for it and two publishers wanted the entire series.”
“An auction?”
“Yeah. They do it for books they think will be highly sought after,” I say casually.
“How much are they giving you?”
“That’s very un-English of you, Nigel. You shouldn’t go around asking people how much money they earn.”
Nigel goes silent with shock.
“Well, I should be going. I’ve got a ton of things to do, but you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.
“Star—”
I hang up, put the phone on the table, and bury my face in my hands.
“Well done, babe,” Rosa says from behind me and comes and hugs me. “I’m so proud of you.”
“My heart is breaking, Rosa.”
She pulls back and looks at me. “Not over Nigel, right?”
I shake my head slowly. “I tried to fool myself last night, but Nikolai’s not going to call me. Ever. I know him. He’s too proud and too insular.”
She looks into my eyes. “Oh, Sugar. I’m so sorry.”
Too distraught to speak I can only nod.
Chapter Fifty-Two
Star
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raNGeq3_DtM
I Want To Know What Love Is
I try to keep myself busy for the next couple of days. I know I have to start a new life for myself. I ignore all Nigel’s calls and eventually I put a block on his number.
Rosa tells me I can stay with her until I find my own place and I quickly accept her offer. When she is in it is not so bad. She is funny and warm and I can push Nikolai to the back of my mind, but when she goes to work and I am left alone at the apartment, I find myself bursting into tears for no reason. I’d be peeling a pear and suddenly I’d start sobbing my heart out.
I try to write but I find that I can’t concentrate like I used to be able to. Suddenly I would be thrown out of my story and my head would be filled with Nikolai. I miss him so much. At night if I have not had at least two glasses of wine I can’t sleep. Sometimes I think of Miss One Penny and Ray and Celine. I went to the shop and bought a big box of chocolates for Sophia, but then I didn’t know where to send it to, so Rosa ended up eating most of it.
I go online and try to find gossip about him. There is nothing new. Which is a relief. Even though I obsessively Google him I know I would be devastated if I saw him with another woman.
“Who can that be?” Rosa says as she gets up to go answer the doorbell. I just slouch further into the sofa. I hear her open the door. “My, you’re a big boy,” I hear Rosa say, and I sit up and crane my neck to see who has come through the door.
“Can I have a quick word with Miss Minton please?”
Sweet Jesus!
That’s Semyon’s voice.
“And who may you be?” Rosa asks.
I try to make myself appear more presentable by quickly brushing my hair back with my hands.
“My name is Semyon.”
“Well, Semyon, if you wait here I will see if Miss Minton will see you,” Rosa says formally. She leaves him standing in the hallway and comes to me with widened eyes. She opens her mouth in a silent scream before saying in a perfectly natural voice, “There is a man called Semyon who would like to see you. Shall I send him through?”
“Yes.” I gulp, and jump up from the sofa.
Semyon comes into the small sitting room making it appear even smaller than it is.
“I’ll be in my bedroom if anybody needs me,” Rosa says, and with a wink at me, sails towards her bedroom.
“Hello,” I say softly.
He nods.
“Would you like to sit?”
“No. That’s fine. I won’t be staying l
ong.”
“Can I get you a drink?”
“That will not be necessary either.”
“Okay. So what can I do for you?”
“I just came here to say that you should go and see Mr. Smirnov. You were good for him.”
My eyebrows fly up. I thought Semyon didn’t even like me. He was always giving me the cold eye.
“I can take you there now.”
“He doesn’t want me, Semyon.”
“He does want you,” he insists blandly.
“You don’t understand. It was just a sex thing for him. He saw me in a restaurant four weeks ago and he just thought, yeah, why not, I’m a billionaire. If I want her I’ll have her, and he did. Now he’s had me he’ll move on to the next girl.”
“Is that what he told you?”
“No, he didn’t have to say it.” I shrug. “But that’s what it was.”
“He didn’t see you in a restaurant four weeks ago. He saw you in a casino two years ago.”
“What?”
“I’ve been on your case for two years, Miss Minton. When Mr. Smirnov wants something he never lets anything stand in his way. His focus is complete. His patience is legendary. For two years he planned how to get you. He set up Ziggurat because he knew your husband wouldn’t be able to resist.”
I sit down on the sofa in shock. “Are you seriously telling me Nikolai set up a casino to trap Nigel so that he could have me?”
“Mmmm.”
“That is so crazy.”
“Yes, that is what I thought.”
“So why did he send me away?”
“You’ll have to ask him that yourself.”
“What if he doesn’t want to see me?”
“He is, how do you say in English, ah yes, dying to see you again.”
I smile. “Really?”
“I know him very well, and yes, really.”
My smile becomes a grin. “And you’ll take me to him.”
“Correct.”
“Can you wait while I change?”
“Of course.”
I go into Rosa’s room, shut the door, and lean against it. “Did you hear?” The walls are paper thin in Rosa’s apartment.
She lifts her shoulder up to her ears in a conspiratorial gesture. It makes her look like a naughty child. “Did I ever?”
“I’ve got nothing to wear.”
“I have a wardrobe full.”
“I was thinking about something demure and subtle.”
“I’m thinking: something that’ll blow his mind.” She walks to her cupboard and takes out a pair of white shorts.
“No way am I wearing those.”
“Look. You’re wearing this or you’re going in what you’ve got on now. Anyway it’s the right weather for it,” she says. She pulls out a button down pink top. “I don’t know why I bought this. It’s too girly for me, but it’s perfect for you. He won’t be able to resist.”
“Are you sure about this? Won’t it look too slutty.”
“Yup. Nope you won’t look slutty if you wear it with sneakers. You’ll just look cute and adorable.”
I change into the shorts and pink top. It doesn’t look too bad. I fluff my hair out and slick on a layer of lip gloss and go out to meet Semyon.
He grins. “That is a good outfit.”
“Thank you.”
Chapter Fifty-Three
Star
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEd6QUbK2Mw
Making Love Out Of Nothing At All
It’s cool in the car as Semyon drives us to Mayfair. I lean back against the leather and try to calm myself down. I have a plan. Well, it’s kind of a plan.
Yana comes hurrying into the lofty entrance hallway as Semyon and I enter the house.
“He’s in the study,” she says in a hushed voice.
I thank her and walk to the study. I think I am even more nervous now than when I went to look for him in the club. Then I just assumed he would take me back. What I got was rejection and humiliation. I knock on the door and nearly die when I hear his voice say what I presume must be enter in Russian.
I straighten my shoulders. I can do this. I push open the door. He is not at his desk. He is sitting on the sofa with his feet up on the low table. He turns his face towards me and freezes. The seconds tick away while we stare at each other.
“What are you doing here?” His voice is strangely calm. There’s something different about him. He looks tired. Older.
I close the door and, before I lose my nerve, start walking towards him. My sneakers make no sound on the thick carpet. His eyes trail hungrily over my body. They linger on my thighs. Thank god, the expression in them does not say thick thighs. His gaze moves up to my breasts, and up to my face.
“I was going to bring you flowers, but I heard a man would rather have a blowjob than flowers. So …”
He blinks.
I arrive in front of him. His eyes are heavy lidded and veiled. Gently I put my hands under his calves. They tense at my touch. I pick them up and put his feet on the floor. I slide in between the table and his knees and try to push the table back. It’s heavier than I expected.
Wordlessly he places his feet on the table edge and pushes it well away, before returning his feet back to the ground. I get on my knees. Slowly sinking my teeth into my lower lip. I reach out a hand.
He does nothing.
I unzip his trousers. Gosh, he is hard. Tenderly I pull his cock out. Leaning down I take his thick, gorgeous, shaft into my mouth.
Ah, how I missed him. His taste, his scent, the feel of his warm, satiny smooth skin. His head drops back on the sofa and he sighs softly. I suck him until he comes in my mouth. He looks down on me.
“The blowjob was a brilliant idea,” he says softly. I smell the alcohol. He’s been drinking. That’s why he seems so mellow. His hand strokes my hair. “How have you been, Star?”
I lay my cheek in his lap. “Terrible. Just terrible. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I cry for no reason.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I’m in love with you, Nikolai.”
“I thought you were in love with your husband.”
I lift my head and look at him. “No, I’m not. I was so young and gullible when I met him. I believed everything he told me and I thought the world of him. I wouldn’t listen to anyone who told me different.”
He stares at me intently.
“I didn’t want to believe that my marriage was built on shifting sands. I wanted desperately to believe in my fairytale marriage. I wanted to be in love with him. Next year we were supposed to start a family. I cannot tell you how much I wanted that. I even know the brand of baby oil I want to use on my baby.”
He looks at me curiously. “Really?”
I blush. “Yes, it’s called Huile Douche. It’s just wonderful. It melts on your skin and makes you think of fields of flowers, fresh air and sunshine.”
His lips twist. His forefinger drags down my cheek. “What a sweet little creature you are. What a shame I can’t keep you.”
“Why can’t you keep me?”
“It would be … messy.”
“You don’t have to love me back, Nikolai. You can just have sex with me whenever you feel like it. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
He sighs. “It doesn’t work like that, little butterfly.”
“How does it work then?”
“I can’t have you, Star.”
“Why not?”
“Because … because I don’t deserve love.”
“Why not?”
“Because I let my brother die.”
My eyes widen.
“I can’t forgive myself.” He lifts a lock of my hair. “He had hair like yours. Beautiful. I hacked it all away, but I didn’t do the thing that would have saved him.”
“What didn’t you do?” I ask softly.
He closes his eyes, lost in some nightmare. “I didn’t suck the director’s dick.”
I gasp. “Oh, Nikolai. I’
m so sorry. Whatever it was that happened, you were just a child too. You can’t blame yourself.”
“It was my fault,” he says slowly.
Once I only saw a beautiful man. Now I see the pain and anguish etched into his soul.
“Tell me what happened, Nikolai. Please. Let me in.”
To my astonishment he does. He tells me a harrowing story about two little boys. My heart breaks for him.
He opens his beautiful eyes and they are swimming with tears. “Anyway, you deserve something better than me. I’m a monster, Star. A criminal. I used to be in the Russian mafia.”
“No, you’re not a monster. You’re a good man.”
“I know you want to believe that I am a good man. There’s no such thing as a good man in the mafia. I’ve killed men, Star.”
“That was before. You’ve changed now.”
He shakes his head slowly. “If someone tries to take what is mine tomorrow you will see the old Nikolai again. You do not know what I am capable of, Star. If you knew you would run away screaming.”
“I don’t know what you’ve done. All I know is the man you are today and that man is loyal, fair, and honest. That is the man I love.”
“I’m hungry to taste you again, Star.”
I stand up and pull my shorts down. He hooks his fingers into my panties and pulls me forward. Pushing the material aside he swipes his tongue on my slit.
“Oh my little butterfly. How I missed you.”
He lays me on the couch and sucks me until I break apart. Then he makes love to me. For the first time. He makes love to me. Slowly. Gently. With reverence. As if he is worshipping my body.
“I love you,” I whisper again and again.
He doesn’t speak, he just uses his mouth, his hands, his fingers, his cock, his tongue to draw the words on my body. I know he loves me and one day he will admit to it.
After we have both climaxed he looks deep into my eyes. “What is it about you? I cannot get enough.”
I smile. “Semyon told me a funny thing.”
“What?”
“He told me the first time you saw me was not in the restaurant.” I raise my eyebrows.
“Yeah. I saw you two years ago. In a casino. You were playing Blackjack. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I wanted you so bad, I thought I would cum in my pants. You were winning and you were laughing. I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. And then you turned around and kissed the sour-faced jerk next to you, and I thought I’d die.”
Submitting to the Billionaire: A Dark Billionaire Romance Page 21
