Only for You

by BETH KERY

  “You’ll go back as Gia. A deputy is being sent to the St. Louis airport to escort you back to L.A.”

  Her lips parted. If a police escort was being sent, then . . .

  “You won’t be coming?” she asked hollowly.

  She was avoiding looking at him, but she heard his heavy exhale. “No. You and I were going to drive the SUV back together before the trial date was moved up, remember? It belongs to a friend of mine. I have to return it. I’ll also need to clean the house and restock all the supplies we used.”

  Her heart throbbed uncomfortably. She’d been looking forward to their return road trip together. That drive had been the silver lining. She’d known it would be an ending ritual for them, but it would have been intimate and special, now that they’d been honest about their desire for each other. Now that they’d stopped fighting it. A road trip between established lovers, the hours of enforced intimacy . . . well, it was the type of experience that could have been a game changer, a last-ditch possibility at saving what was so special between them.

  It was the first time she really admitted to herself how much hope she’d been pinning on that return road trip. Now it was being snatched away.

  “Gia—”

  “No. Don’t say anything. We both knew this day would come,” she said, cutting him off. “I should go and pack.”

  When she reached the bedroom, she shut the door, just in case Seth didn’t get the message that she wanted to be alone. For a few seconds, she just stood there, fighting down the feeling of misery threatening to choke her throat.

  On Seth’s orders, she hadn’t made any outgoing calls on her cell phone or sent any text messages since leaving Los Angeles. But Seth had just told her the undercover operation was over. She was back to being Gia Harris once again. If she was going to make an exit from this cabin—from Seth’s life—she’d do it on her own terms. She couldn’t even consider the idea of a tear-filled airport good-bye with Seth tomorrow. It was so cliché and just . . . unbearable to consider.

  Aching, but determined, she pulled out her suitcase and retrieved her cell phone and charger.

  Gia Harris was back. It was time she took control of her life again.

  * * *

  Gia had just finished her packing when Seth walked into the bedroom. Shutting her suitcase, she stood and faced him. His brows were knitted together slightly as he studied her.

  “You okay?” he asked quietly.

  She nodded briskly, determined not to melt into a puddle, which is precisely what she felt like doing. “I was just thinking about the trial. It’s always seemed so far in the future, I haven’t really had time to consider what it’ll be like. Or maybe I just didn’t want to think about it,” she added under her breath with a mirthless laugh.

  “You’re doing the right thing,” he said. Her gaze leapt to his face. “By testifying. By telling the truth. I know it’s been a huge inconvenience in your life, but I’m proud of you for doing it.”

  Emotion tightened her throat. She swallowed thickly and glanced around the attractive, cozy bedroom, willing herself to calm.

  “I’ll really miss this place,” she said.

  “Yeah. It’s been amazing. Not the place. Being with you.”

  Unwanted tears stung her eyes. He stepped toward her.

  “Let’s talk,” he said.

  “About what?” she asked, frustration and sadness making her sound desperate. “You’ve told me how you feel about us.”

  “I don’t know how I feel about us. If I gave you the impression I have all the answers, I’m sorry. The circumstances have changed all that. You have. I know how I feel about you.”

  She stared at him, aghast. For a few seconds, she just studied his bold features. They had become so familiar to her. She had learned to read him so well. Despite his words, she sensed his ambivalence, that same conflict she’d witnessed on his face when he’d been watching her reading to Daisy.

  Her heart sank.

  “The circumstances haven’t changed, Seth,” she said quietly. “You don’t think it would work between us in L.A., and I have my doubts too. I would shake up your whole world. And I don’t want to give up my work ethic or my dreams because you’re uncomfortable with them.” She threw up her hand and gave a sad bark of laughter. “It’s a catch-22.”

  His face turned stony, but she sensed his anguish. Maybe it was because she’d fallen in love with him that she was so attuned to him, despite his impassive expression.

  “When we started this, you said it would be best if we went our separate ways after it was all over,” she said, straining to keep her voice from shaking. “We both knew it would end.” She met his stare determinedly. “Well, the end has come.”

  His mouth twisted slightly, like he’d just eaten something bitter. He’s worried he’s hurt you . . . damaged you somehow. The thought leapt into her brain, and she somehow knew it was true. It was so Seth, to worry about someone he cared about, to feel responsible for them.

  “I’ll be fine, Seth. I’m not one of your vulnerable, fragile actresses,” she said gently.

  “Jesus, Gia—”

  “Listen to me.” He blinked, startled at her interruption, giving her a fierce look. “I’ll be fine. And so will you.”

  She wasn’t sure she believed it, at least on her part. But she was an actress, wasn’t she? What else was there to do but say the words, keep breathing, and put one foot in front of the other. She didn’t completely agree with Seth’s estimation of whether or not Hollywood romances were advisable, but she understood his doubts. She respected his history and his choices.

  “I think, under the circumstances, I should sleep in the other room tonight,” she said, staring at the carpet. When he didn’t respond, she started for the door, rolling her suitcase behind her.

  “Gia.”

  She spun around, unable to disguise the tear that had fallen down her cheek.

  “I’ve fallen in love with you.”

  She closed her eyes and several more tears fell at his stark admission.

  “I know,” she said in a strangled voice. “I’ve fallen in love with you too. That’s what makes this whole situation suck so much. Because unlike in the movies and in make-believe, it’s not enough. That’s one thing in common you and I have. We work in the industry, but we can tell the difference between reality and fantasy. You don’t want me to change for you, and I would hate it,” she clenched her teeth, struggling to find her strength, “so hard if you changed for me. See . . . I think you’re perfect the way you are.”

  He looked like the weight of the world had just dropped on him, but he didn’t stop her this time as she walked away.

  * * *

  Seth had a rough night.

  He lost count of the number of times he stood to go and confront Gia in the bed where she slept. Soothe her. Hold her. But it would just turn out like it had the night after they’d gone to Rill and Katie’s. They’d smoke up the sheets. They’d feel this incredible connection.

  And then they’d be right back where they’d started.

  Maybe it would be better if he insisted they talk in the car on the way to the airport. Sex wouldn’t be a factor then. It would just be Gia and him and the road, with nowhere to hide and no distractions.

  Yeah. That’s what he’d do.

  At around dawn, he got up and made coffee, setting out a cup, spoon and a packet of Splenda for Gia. He frowned, pain going through him. How she took her coffee was one of the thousands of things he’d learned about her during their time together. He knew there were millions more to learn. And dammit, those little, fascinating things about her, those tiny threads of the tapestry of her character, they were his to discover. To cherish.

  He grabbed his coffee along with a bottle of water. If only they could stay in the woods forever, things would be so much simpler.

  He thou
ght he heard Gia rustling around in the bedroom down the hall. Again, his feet seemed to have a mind of their own, urging him to walk down that hallway toward her. At the last second, he forced himself to take the stairs to the workout facility instead. They would talk on the trip to St. Louis. He would explain that he wasn’t the same man he had been when he first laid eyes on that beautiful, glowing girl in the Joan of Arc costume.

  Or he was . . . but with Gia, he was different somehow too.

  He’d been on the treadmill for nearly an hour when a strange prescience went through him. He slowed to a walk, and then stepped off the machine. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Had it been a sound that had alerted him? He glanced at the security panel on the far wall.

  It had been deactivated.

  He cursed viciously. Grabbing his phone, he raced up the stairs.

  “Gia?” he bellowed down the hallway. There was no response. “Gia?” He rushed to the bedroom where she’d spent the night, finding it empty, the bed made. He hurried to the bedroom they’d shared, flinging open the door. There was a bad, hollow feel to the place.

  She was gone.

  He rapidly grabbed his keys and wallet. He flew out the front door within seconds.

  Her red cardigan immediately caught his attention, even though she was quite a distance away. She stood next to a black sedan along with a brown-haired young man who looked unfamiliar. The car was parked on the shoulder of the country road that led to the long driveway of the house.

  He started to eat up the distance between them.

  Little minx had not only shut down the security alarm on the house, but she’d played it extra safe by requesting that her accomplice not come up the drive.

  The man took her suitcase from her and put it in the trunk. Gia walked toward the passenger door. She froze when she saw him storming toward her.

  “Get in the car, Jim,” he thought he heard her say tensely. She lunged to open the car door, eyeing Seth’s approach warily. The man—who must be her driver from L.A.—hurried into the car and slammed his door shut. He revved the engine. Gia started to sit.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Seth demanded, still hastening to reach her.

  She ignored him, getting in the car and slamming her door shut. Seth thought he heard the click of the automatic lock. The car started to pull away.

  “Gia!” he roared.

  Her mouth moved. The car came to an abrupt halt. Gia’s face looked anguished through the window. The glass lowered.

  “Don’t come any closer, Seth, or I won’t explain. I’ll just tell Jim to go.”

  He gritted his teeth in mounting helplessness and anger. He came to a halt with thirty feet or so still separating them.

  “Jim is going to take me to the airport. I called him yesterday afternoon, and he took a flight to St. Louis last night. I called Sherona, too, and asked her for directions for Jim to get here. There’s no reason that you should have to take me to the airport. You’ve done enough.”

  He goggled at her in disbelief. “Gia, get the hell out of that car. You’re my responsibility until I hand you off to Deputy Kildrake. I’m not just your fucking lift to the airport.”

  “Well I’m not a parcel you’re supposed to deliver,” she snapped, sounding irritated. Overwhelmed. “I’m out of disguise mode, Seth. It’s time to go back and do what I have to do. Jim is my driver. This is all perfectly normal. I’ve just asked him to pick me up here instead of in Los Angeles when I land. I left you a note in the kitchen to explain how I’d gotten to the airport and that I was safe. Please don’t make more of this than is necessary.” She started to say something and hesitated, her anxious expression killing him a little. “I’m not your responsibility anymore. It’s over, Seth,” she said, her voice cracking. She turned away. Seth recognized that proud tilt to her chin despite her obvious anguish.

  The window started to close. He didn’t pause to watch the car accelerate down the road. He was already sprinting toward the SUV.

  * * *

  Gia was fighting nausea by the time her driver, Jim, pulled in to the return section of the car-rental facility. In the distance, she saw the familiar SUV she’d taken across the country with Seth come to a halt just outside the car-rental office. Seth immediately got out, his tall, tense body and dark expression striking her as intimidating.

  He’d followed them all the way to the airport in St. Louis. Jim had tried several times to lose him, but Seth had followed effortlessly, never crowding their car or creating a potentially dangerous situation, but always keeping her within his sight. Now that they were on the grounds of the airport, Gia was a giant coiled band of tension and anxiety. Somehow, she sensed Seth’s simmering anger and eerie focus behind her the entire trip, like a laser pointer on the back of her neck.

  “I’m sorry, Gia,” Jim said. “He was like a leech. I just couldn’t shake him.”

  “It’s okay,” she assured, lowering her phone. She’d finally told Jim to stop trying to elude Seth’s tail. She didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Besides, Seth had called while he was in pursuit and left a message. She’d just listened to it. At least she knew his plan wasn’t to throw her over his shoulder and haul her back to the house.

  Although that imaginary plan held its appeal, she was fighting against that annoying, unwanted reaction.

  Willing down her queasiness, she got out of the car while Jim took care of the bill with the rental-car agent. After she shut the trunk, she glanced around to see Seth standing on the curb in the distance, his muscular arms crossed over his chest.

  Waiting.

  It was much too cool and cloudy out today for him to be outside in only the training shorts and short-sleeved T-shirt he wore, Gia realized guiltily. Of course he hadn’t had time to change clothes before he’d jumped in the SUV and followed her in hot pursuit. Although in truth, he looked too steamed at the moment to even notice the chill in the air.

  How in the hell had he noticed she’d gone? She knew well by this time that his exercise routines lasted for almost two hours.

  She sighed. May as well get the confrontation over with.

  She grimly started to walk toward him. In that moment, Seth was the kind of superstorm there was no hope of avoiding. Jim followed behind her. The closer she got to him, she felt herself cringing a little beneath his white-hot stare. As she drew within speaking distance, a tall man in his thirties approached Seth where he stood on the sidewalk. Seth’s wrathful stare on her fractured as he looked at the man.

  “Hightower?” the man asked him.

  Seth nodded. “Josh Kildrake?”

  “That’s me,” the man said, reaching Seth at about the same time Gia and Jim did. She paused with her hand on her suitcase handle.

  “Identification, please,” Seth said, extending his hand expectantly. He studied the badge and identification Kildrake handed over with a stony expression. Gia saw the badge. She’d seen enough of them, given all the police protection she’d had in the past. Seth had obviously been in contact with the police escort while he’d pursued them relentlessly. It was just her luck that Kildrake had arrived in St. Louis a few hours before her flight. Seth scrutinized Kildrake’s face narrowly before he handed back the badge.

  “Here she is,” Seth said soberly, nodding in Gia’s direction.

  “Ms. Harris,” Kildrake greeted. “I’ll be escorting you back to Los Angeles.”

  “Gee, thanks,” Gia muttered under her breath, avoiding Seth’s stare. It seemed to burn her.

  “Well, we should probably get going,” Deputy Kildrake said, waving in the direction of the transport bus that would take them to the airport.

  “I’m ready,” Gia said, swallowing back the lump in her throat while Seth remained silent. She hated this. He was clearly furious at her for what she’d done, but she wasn’t going to apologize for keeping herself safe from
the pain of some dramatic good-bye.

  Now they would part with a bad taste in their mouths. Poorly done, Gia, a voice in her head said reproachfully. But why did Seth have to be so stubborn and prove a point like this? She wasn’t in any physical danger.

  Just the emotional variety.

  She and Jim started to walk toward the van, Kildrake bringing up the rear.

  “Gia.”

  Her heart leapt at the sound of his deep voice. She spun around, breathless. Hopeful.

  “Take off that red sweater,” Seth said. “You already attract the attention of every eye within a hundred feet of you. It’s stupid to throw a spotlight on a beacon.”

  As he got into the SUV and slammed the door, she stood motionless, mad at him for having the last word . . .

  Missing him already.

  * * *

  By the time Seth returned to the house in the woods, he was drained and chilled, wiped out after the adrenaline rush. The immediacy and alarm of chasing Gia had made him forget what was about to happen. Now, reality fisted him in the gut.

  The house felt as empty as he did when he went inside and locked the door behind him. Gia had shut him down about talking things out last night. He’d assumed he would have another chance during their car ride together to St. Louis. She’d eliminated that possibility too.

  For a few seconds, he just stood in the high-ceilinged living room. Gia’s reading chair and ottoman were still drawn up to the fireplace, but the hearth was cold. He approached the coffee table and stared down at dozens of sketches of Gia’s face. Not just her face. The two nudes he’d done lay on the top. He suddenly dropped down heavily on the couch, his fingers pressed against his eyelids.

  He never had been able to capture the magic of her. Maybe his mistake all along had been trying.

  * * *

  Several days later, Seth still hadn’t left the woods. It wasn’t as if he had planned it that way. He just didn’t seem to have the will to undertake the long road trip across the country. The idea of traveling alone in that SUV, of seeing familiar landmarks, of being plagued by memories . . . well, it froze him temporarily. The memories were here in the house too—in spades. It was masochistic of him to stay. He’d go and put all of this behind him.