The Exile

by Gregory Erich Phillips

  “It’s been a good run, boss.”

  Samantha allowed herself a smile. Together, they looked back at their office for the final time. The feds had already rearranged the desks and started pouring files out of the boxes that had sat neglected for so long.

  “It sure has.”

  Cox put his hand on her back. She couldn’t tell if the gesture was one of compassion or if he was coming onto her; classic Cox. She pushed the elevator button.

  “Let’s go get a drink.”

  28

  LEILA WOULD ALWAYS remember Santa Fe as one of the most wonderful chapters of her life. There was something dreamlike about it, making it feel less than real. But it was only an interlude. Even during that beautiful year, which brought her daughter into the world and saw her love for Ashford grow, she knew the escape couldn’t last.

  She had been protected in a cocoon of peace, as if the mother, not the daughter, had been in a womb. Soon, the real world would call back to her, just like it had called to Cristina. But unlike the child, Leila knew from experience how cruel the world could be. Only now as it neared its end did she realize how much she had needed this respite. She figured she was strong enough to face whatever the world had for her next.

  Leila looked out the airplane window as the Valley of the Sun came into view. She had brought Cristina with her on the short flight. Ashford stayed in Santa Fe to work.

  As the plane touched down, she looked at the silver ring with a small diamond on her finger. It wasn’t fancy and didn’t catch people’s eyes, but it was better than the piece of kitchen string. Ashford said he would buy her a bigger diamond in time, but she didn’t want him to. This little ring was symbolic of this time in their lives. It meant a lot to her because it was one of the first things Ashford bought with money he had earned. It was special to her just as it was.

  She thought April or May would be a good time to have the wedding. It wouldn’t be large, but there was still a lot to plan—the venue, the dress. She knew what sort of dress she wanted to wear. Now, the question was where to find it and how hard did she want to work to lose the rest of the baby fat that still clung to her sides.

  The air outside baggage claim was cool, and Leila could tell it had rained. She unzipped her bag and pulled out the sweater she had worn to the airport that morning.

  Carmen drove up.

  “Leila, you look great!” Her stepmother got out of the car and hugged her. “I’d never believe you had a baby a few months ago. Look how big she is already.”

  Leila slid into the passenger seat next to Carmen, Cristina secure in her car seat behind her.

  “How’s my dad?” She would see him in half an hour, but she wanted to hear Carmen’s perspective first.

  “Complains all the time. I can’t keep him sitting down. He almost insisted on coming with me today.”

  Leila laughed, glad to hear Manny still had his spirit only a few days since his surgery.

  “I bet he can’t wait to put those new knees to use.”

  She looked out the car windows at the familiar hills of the Phoenix valley. Everything looked lush and tropical today. The rain had turned the hillsides from their usual dry olive color into a deep, rich green. The palm trees were wet and happy.

  Manny tried to leap up from his chair as soon as they walked into the house, but Carmen and Leila were too quick for him, pushing him back down. Leila handed the baby to Carmen and bent down to hug his shoulders.

  “Three weeks I have to stay home! Can you imagine?”

  “You’ll have to get used to it when you retire,” said Carmen.

  “I’m never retiring. I’ve decided now.”

  “I’ve been staying home for almost a year now,” Leila said. “It’s been great.”

  “I bet you’re itching to get back to work though.” Manny knew her well.

  “Can you really only stay three days?” Carmen rocked the baby in her arms. “I wish you could stay for Christmas.”

  “I can’t keep Cristina away from her daddy too long.”

  “I wish he could have come visit too,” said Manny. “I like him. You found yourself a good man.”

  “Yes. Yes, I did.”

  Once Cristina was fed and asleep, Leila slipped across the yard to see Jen. Considering the economy, she wasn’t surprised Jen still lived at home, a year and a half after graduating college. She hadn’t found a permanent job and was now thinking about going to grad school.

  Leila’s visit had a dual purpose. She wanted to be with her father after his surgery, but she also needed to start planning the wedding and Jen was eager to help. Over the next three days, the two of them dove into the task in earnest. They visited a half-dozen potential venues and narrowed it down to two. Dress shopping was a tougher task. Leila knew what she wanted her dress to look like, but the path from vision to reality was fraught with obstacles. She didn’t have an “off-the-rack” body, nor did she feel comfortable with the expense of a custom dress.

  Something would have to be tailored. Should she tailor it to fit her right now, or account for the ten to fifteen pounds she hoped to lose before the wedding? She would have given up if not for Jen, whose determination kept her going through the frustrating search.

  Meanwhile, one of the final two venues she identified was managed by a company connected to Paul Weidman. She felt nervous about contacting him. Last time they spoke, he was losing tens of thousands on the disastrous Desert Villas project. She wasn’t sure if he would forgive her for her involvement or if he was even still in the real estate business. Counting on the good rapport they had always shared, she gave him a call. To her relief, he was thrilled to hear from her. He agreed to work out a deal for her on the venue. She told him he and Clary were invited to the wedding.

  She was glad he had managed to survive in real estate. He would be a good connection for her if she decided to return to the business. It didn’t surprise her when he told her Samantha’s office had been seized by the Federal Reserve, but it was still sobering news.

  On her final day in Phoenix, she and Jen stopped for lunch at the mall in Scottsdale after another fruitless visit to a bridal shop. No sooner were they seated than she heard a familiar voice behind her.

  “Leila! Where you been all this time?”

  She jumped from her seat and hugged Cox. She laughed, surprised by how glad she was to see him.

  Without waiting for an invitation, he pulled a chair up to their table.

  “You seem no worse for wear, after all that’s happened,” she said.

  “I guess you heard.”

  “Yeah.”

  “It was crazy, man. The day the feds showed up was just the start. The inquisition that followed was awful. There were a few days there I thought I was heading to jail.”

  “Justice. I always tried to tell you it would bite your ass one day.”

  “Yeah, our loan files were a steaming pile of shit. Fraud all over the place. But Samantha’s good. Everything they found she managed to pass the blame elsewhere. Ultimately, I think the feds didn’t have time for small-time players like us. They’d rather go after big fish like Killinger and Mozillo.”

  “They’re just as good at covering their tracks as Samantha.”

  “Yep. That’s the irony of it. The mortgage business brought down the whole fucking economy, but everyone seems to be wriggling out of any real consequences.”

  “Somehow, I don’t sense any remorse in your tone. If anyone deserves to go to jail, it’s you. You were the worst of the bunch.”

  He shrugged, grinning. He was the same old Cox. As they talked, Jen pretended to look at the menu, but Leila could tell she was listening.

  “But seriously, where were you?” he asked. “Samantha looked everywhere for you.”

  “I moved to Santa Fe. Why would Samantha want me?”

  “For the hearings. I’m surprised she didn’t have you subpoenaed.”

  A chill passed up Leila’s spine. “Maybe she did.” She didn’t want to dwel
l on the thought. “What happened to Samantha?”

  “Oh, she came out of it on both feet. Declared bankruptcy, let her rental properties go but kept her house. She’ll have another job as soon as she wants one.”

  “And you?”

  Cox cackled. “I locked four loans last week.”

  “No way!”

  “Haven’t you heard about the HARP refinance bill they passed?”

  “No.”

  “So, you’re literally living under a rock up in the mountains?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “It’s this new program where people can refinance even if they don’t qualify, even if their house is underwater, as long as their loan is with Fannie or Freddie.”

  “Whose bright idea was that?”

  “Who do you think? Congress.”

  “Will those guys ever get a clue?”

  “The hell if I care. Rates are down, and my phone’s ringing all day. No income, no assets, no problem.”

  Leila glanced at Jen, who had put down the menu, no longer pretending she wasn’t enjoying the conversation.

  “There’s money to be made if you want back in.”

  “I have been thinking about it. I’d like to find a way to start slowly, maybe working from home. I had a baby, you know.”

  “Got knocked up! You know that could have been my baby. I gave you every opportunity.”

  She hit at him across the table as he leaned away from her swing.

  “But you had to go for the scandal with the boss’s son. Samantha was so pissed at you.”

  “We’re getting married at the end of April. After that, I’d like to work again.”

  “Dammit, don’t get married. I haven’t had my shot with you yet.”

  Jen snickered.

  Cox stood up and handed Leila a business card.

  “Give me a call when you’re ready. I can get you a job working from home. You’re good. It’s a new refi boom. You’ll do great.”

  She looked at the card. She had never heard of the brokerage it listed.

  “One other thing you should know—starting next year, you’ll need to be licensed to originate mortgage loans. You have to go through this asinine twenty-hour course and then take a stupid test, do background checks, get fingerprinted, and all sorts of shit. They might even ask for that firstborn of yours. You can do the clock hours online. You should start banging that out.”

  “Thanks. I’ll look into it.” She extended her hand. “It was good to see you, Cox. We’ll be in touch.”

  The waiter was at their table as soon as Cox left. Leila glanced at the menu and ordered the first thing she saw. Cox had given her much to think about, but those were thoughts for another time.

  She was tired of shopping. After lunch, she wanted to go back to her dad’s. After only a few hours apart, she already missed her baby, but Jen insisted they go to one more store.

  “You’re leaving in the morning. This is your last shot to find a dress before you have to order one online. Then you’d really be taking your chances.”

  The store Jen had in mind was right here in the mall. She could stand one more hour. Arriving at the boutique dress shop, Leila attempted to describe what she was looking for to the proprietor. Jen chimed in, clarifying as best as she could. The woman at the counter listened as she looked over Leila’s figure.

  “I think I have the dress for you. It’s not precisely what you described, but when you put it on, you’ll see what I mean.”

  She walked to the back and emerged a moment later holding the wedding gown. Leila and Jen looked at each other hopefully. Neither was willing to get too excited until Leila tried it on. Even before tailoring, how it wore would tell the story. Leila hurried to the dressing room and slipped it on, stepping out for the shop owner to zip up the back. She turned and faced Jen, trying to hide her smile.

  “That’s the dress,” Jen said.

  “This is the dress.”

  “You look like a vision.”

  The shop owner reached for measuring tape and pins, sizing Leila up and making her marks.

  Leila moved back and forth, listening to the beautiful swish, swish of the dress brushing against itself.

  “Hold still.”

  Leila was so excited. Maybe it wasn’t perfect, but it was pretty close. She avoided asking about the price. Manny wanted to pay for the whole wedding. She would save him money on the venue, even if she gave it all back on the dress.

  “Err on the snug side. I’m going to lose ten pounds before the wedding.”

  “Of course you will, sweetie.”

  On a plane again in the morning, she looked forward to her last few months in Santa Fe. She would savor each day, but she also looked forward to coming back. She would start the mortgage licensing program as Cox suggested. No harm in taking the course; it didn’t commit her to anything. She did want to work again, and it was easy to think of getting back into the old career.

  Was that really what she wanted?

  29

  “I DON’T KNOW how to explain it,” said Ashford. “I just don’t like it.” He wished he had kept his mouth shut.

  “And you only tell me now, the night before my test? Don’t do this. I need to stay focused.”

  “But why do you have to get back into mortgages so soon?” Ashford fidgeted. He hadn’t understood his own feelings in these months since Leila’s return from Phoenix. Now that he had finally voiced his thoughts, he knew he’d said it all wrong.

  “Do you feel threatened?” Leila folded her arms, looking at him. He could tell she was trying not to get angry.

  “No, I would love for you to get back to work and feel satisfied. It’s just mortgages. The business makes me uneasy. My mother.”

  “I thought we’d decided not to worry about her. Mortgages are my career. This is the way I can support us.”

  “Haven’t I supported us just fine?”

  “So, you are threatened.”

  “No.” Ashford was frustrated, more at his own inability to communicate than at her.

  “What do you expect me to do if I’m not going to work again?”

  “I didn’t say you shouldn’t work.”

  “It sure sounds like that’s what you’re saying.”

  “Don’t make it about that. I’m not trying to tell you how to live. I’m not that kind of guy.”

  “Well, I’m not a stay-at-home wife and mother. That’s not the girl you fell in love with.”

  “Forget it. I wish I didn’t bring it up.”

  Ashford turned to leave the room. Leila reached out and grabbed his hand, turning him back toward her. She looked him in the eyes.

  “Tell me what this is really about. I can’t just forget it. You brought it up. Now I need to know what’s going on. We’re going to be married in a month. We have to be able to communicate.”

  Ashford took a deep breath, trying to think. When Leila started doing the coursework for the mortgage exam, he had felt a strange discomfort in the pit of his stomach. As the test drew nearer, the feeling had grown stronger. It wasn’t exactly fear; he didn’t know how to put it into words.

  “Just be careful. I don’t like the thought of you going back into that world—my mother’s world.”

  “She has no power left to wield.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  Now, he heard her take a deep breath.

  “You can trust me. You have to trust me.”

  Ashford nodded. He could think of nothing to say that wouldn’t make him sound like a man looking to crush his woman’s career, or at least a man feeling threatened by her success. Proud as he felt to have been able to support her this year—as much as it empowered him—this wasn’t about him. How could he make her realize that?

  Instead, he screwed it all up. They’d had their first argument.

  He kissed her. “Good luck tomorrow. I do trust you.”

  “Everything will be okay. It will change. It has to. I understand if you feel resistant to that
. I do too, a little. But this fantasy we’ve been living can’t last. Our lives have to develop and grow. I need to know our relationship can too.”

  She still didn’t understand. He hadn’t been able to communicate his unease at all, but trying again now would only make things worse.

  He slept poorly that night and felt distracted at work in the morning. As planned, he left at lunchtime, having requested the afternoon off to watch Cristina while Leila took her exam.

  They kissed when he got home as if nothing had happened, but Ashford felt a coolness in her lips. She was focused on her task, and his words yesterday probably made her feel like she was going into it alone. It saddened him. Until now, they always went through things together, good or bad.

  She paused in the doorway before leaving. “Does this T-shirt make my arms look fat?”

  He looked toward her with surprise. She was wearing a gray T-shirt with short sleeves over jeans and held her light leather jacket, about to put it on. Ashford laughed. “You look beautiful. You always do, and I’m not just saying that.”

  She smiled. “Are we in love again?”

  He rushed to the door and kissed her.

  He closed the door behind her, then looked around the room, feeling better. A few open boxes sat on the living room floor, but they had barely begun packing. They didn’t have much stuff, and what they did have they used most every day. The bulk of the packing would happen next week, leading up to Ashford’s final day at the clinic. He already had a job waiting for him near Phoenix, ironically at the same hospital in Glendale that had turned him down a year and a half ago.

  It was time. They were both ready.

  Ashford had sensed the change in Leila in the three months since her trip to Phoenix. Preparing for today’s test, as well as planning for the wedding, gave her a sense of purpose. He hadn’t been aware of her previous loss of energy until it came surging back. He wished he had commented on that yesterday. It was good for her to have goals and would be good for her to work again. He agreed. But did it have to be this? So soon?