Lost and Found

by Katrina Grillo

  “Jack Liam Kincaid,” she says. “After your dad.”

  I cry harder. Macy and Liam are crying too, all three of us looking down at this tiny miracle in Macy’s arms. It feels good for us all to be crying happy tears for once.

  Liam wipes the tears off his face and reaches down to stroke the top of Jack’s head. “Best day of my whole life,” he says. He glances up and sees Spence hovering outside the door, his back to us. Liam gets up and strides out of the room.

  Macy and I exchange a worried look.

  Liam wraps his arms around Spence, hugging him. Spence looks startled, but he hugs him back. Liam pulls away, says something to Spence, Spence nods, and they shake hands.

  Macy and I exchange another look as both Liam and Spence come into the room.

  “Hey,” Spence says shyly to Macy as he comes to stand next to me. “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks,” Macy says. She holds the baby up a little so Spence can see. “This is Jack.”

  “After your dad?” Spence says, putting his arm around me.

  I nod and see Liam watching us interact, but he doesn’t comment.

  We stay a little while longer. Liam and Spence don’t say two words to each other after their odd display of affection in the hall, and we leave the new family to themselves.

  On the way home, I can’t help myself. “What did Liam say to you?”

  The corners of Spence’s mouth twitch. “Oh, just guy stuff.”

  I give him a skeptical look. “‘Just guy stuff?’ So he didn’t threaten to kill you?”

  “Nope, he didn’t threaten to kill me.”

  I know if I pushed him he would tell me, but I don’t.

  He puts his hand on the center console, palm up. “You’ve got nothing to worry about,” he says.

  “Okay,” I say, and put my hand in his.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Spence

  It’s late, on the verge of being so late it’s early again, by the time we get back to the apartment. We go right to Gemma’s place and collapse into bed, sleeping until afternoon. When I finally wake up, Gemma is sitting up in bed next to me, smiling down at her phone.

  “Hey sleepyhead,” she says, smiling over at me when she notices I’m awake. I roll towards her, draping an arm across her lap.

  “What are you looking at?” I ask her.

  She holds her phone out. “Liam is sending a million pictures of Jack. He’s so cute, isn’t he?”

  I reach over to tilt the phone so I can get a better look. “He is cute,” I agree. “How does it feel to be an aunt?”

  “I’ve already decided I’m going to be the cool aunt,” she says, looking back down at the picture. “I’m going to be his favorite person to hang out with.”

  “Shouldn’t be too hard,” I say. “You’re already my favorite person to hang out with. I’ll bet Jack will feel the same way.”

  Gemma reaches over to put her phone on the nightstand. She pauses for a second, reaching out a finger to touch a framed picture she keeps there that I’d never paid much attention to before. Now, seeing the way Gemma’s looking at it, I sit up and peer over her shoulder. It’s a pretty blonde woman and a big, bearded guy smiling at the camera. The woman is holding a toddler that is unmistakably baby Gemma.

  “Are those your parents?” I ask, resting my chin on her shoulder. She jumps a little, like she forgot I was here.

  “Yeah,” she says, still looking at the picture. She’s quiet for a minute, then, her voice thick, she says, “It just sucks, you know? That they’re not here to meet Jack. That he won’t know them.”

  My heart breaks for her. She lays down on her side and I curl up behind her, wanting to keep her close, like somehow I can protect her from the sadness I know she’s feeling even though I can’t.

  “Tell me about them,” I say quietly. “Your parents.”

  She’s quiet again, and I think she’s going to tell me no, but then she starts to talk.

  “My mom died a couple years after this picture was taken. I only remember her a little bit,” she says, reaching out to touch the frame again. “She was so pretty.”

  “You look just like her,” I say, and she smiles a little.

  “My dad used to tell me that all the time. After she died he used to come up to me and put my face between his hands and say, ‘let me look at both of you’.” She pauses, a faraway look on her face. “My dad was a joker, always teasing me and Liam, always making people laugh. Even after my mom died. He tried to hard to make it seem like nothing was missing in our lives,” she says.

  “I wish I could have met them,” I say, because I do. It’s a part of Gemma’s life that I’ll never get to know.

  “I miss my parents all the time,” she says, “but times like this it’s the hardest. When something happens that I really wish they were here for, you know?”

  “I know,” I say. She turns around so she’s facing me and buries her face in my neck and I hold her even tighter.

  Last night, at the hospital, when I’d thought Liam was going to punch me in the face for daring to be present at the birth of his son, he’d surprised me. “Be good to her,” is what he’d said. And I’d told him I would. And I intend on keeping that promise, even if I don’t know what I’m doing.

  Gemma pulls away from me and wipes her eyes. “God, I’m sorry I’m such a mess. It’s been an emotional couple days. It’s like all this extreme happiness mixed with extreme sadness and it’s a lot.”

  “You’re not a mess,” I tell her, wiping the lingering tears from her cheeks. “And I won’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but I hope you know I’m here for you no matter what. I’m not the best at saying the right thing, but I give a decent hug, and you can have those whenever you need them.”

  She smiles at me and leans in for a kiss. “What about kisses? Can I have those whenever I need them, too?”

  “Absolutely,” I tell her.

  “Mmm, I’m feeling better already.”

  “Excellent,” I say, being very generous with my kisses. “Because that’s my entire plan for today. Along with some other activities. None of which require us leaving this room.”

  “That sounds really good,” she says, but she’s sliding away from me and getting out of bed. “But I’ve got to go. I told Liam I’d go to the hospital again today. For a few hours, anyway. Raincheck?”

  “Oh, yeah, okay,” I tell her. She rummages around in her dresser and I get up, too. I know I have no right to be there, but I’m still a little bummed she didn’t ask me. I may be Gemma’s boyfriend, but Liam just found out about that last night. Even if he did seem okay with it I should probably give him more time to warm up to the idea before I start crashing intimate family moments.

  “Hey,” I say to Gemma, a thought coming to me. “Maybe when Macy’s home and they’re all settled in and stuff I can come with you when you go over there for dinner.”

  I know she goes to dinner with Macy and Liam all the time, and I know Amanda usually goes with her. She hasn’t invited me, which I understand since we’d agreed to keep our whole relationship a secret from Liam. But now that he knows about us I want to be involved in that part of her life. After all, she’s met my family.

  She pauses what she’s doing. “Yeah, maybe,” she says, but she says it in that fake voice people use when you run into someone you haven’t seen in a while and they suggest getting together.

  “Or not,” I say.

  She turns to me. “We’ll do it, I promise,” she says. “It just might be awhile. They’ll be bringing the baby home and everything. It’ll take them some time to get into a routine and stuff.”

  “Yeah, right, that’s fine. I was just thinking, you know, eventually.”

  “Of course,” she says, smiling. “Since you and Liam are apparently buds now.”

  I let out a small laugh. “I wouldn’t say we’re buds, but he didn’t punch me or tell me to stay away from you, so I think we’re moving in the right direction.”
>
  “What did he say to you last night?” she asks again, putting her hands on her hips, and I know it’s killing her that I won’t tell her.

  I smile. “I told you already, nothing you need to worry about. Everything is fine.”

  She narrows her eyes at me and I can tell it’s taking all her self control not to nag me until I give in. But I have a feeling Liam wouldn’t want me to tell her what he said.

  She huffs, but doesn’t push the issue again.

  “I’m going to get in the shower,” she says. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “How long do you think you’ll be at the hospital?” I ask her.

  “I don’t know, probably not too long,” Gemma says.

  “Okay, tell everyone I say hi. Unless that’s weird since they just found out about me yesterday. Then don’t say anything at all.”

  She laughs and comes over to loop her hands behind my neck.

  “I’ll tell them my boyfriend says hi,” she says.

  “Mmm, your boyfriend,” I say, smiling at her. “Say it again, I like it.”

  “My boyfriend,” she says in a sultry whisper.

  “That’s it,” I say, putting my hands on her waist and backing towards the bed. My knees hit the edge of the mattress and I sit down. “You’re not going anywhere yet.”

  “Spence, I have to go,” she says, half-heartedly.

  “Five minutes,” I beg, nibbling on her lip.

  She moans and climbs onto my lap, straddling me. “I highly doubt what you want to do will only take five minutes.”

  “No, it probably won’t. But I’ll try really, really hard,” I say, pulling her hips into mine and grinding against her. She gasps and a pink flush spreads up her chest and neck.

  “Fine, five minutes,” she relents, and pushes me back down onto the bed.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Gemma

  With all the guy stuff going on between us, it’s been awhile since Amanda and I have spent any quality time together. This morning I brought her by Liam and Macy’s for a quick visit to meet baby Jack. For all the panicking he did Liam is turning out to be a very chill dad. He even let Amanda hold Jack, which honestly even I wasn’t super comfortable with. You just never know with Amanda.

  After that we treated ourselves to a boozy brunch and now we’re home on the couch watching trash TV and doing mani pedis. Basically a perfect day.

  “I can’t get over how cute baby Jack is,” Amanda says. “Newborns usually look like toes with faces, but he’s adorable.”

  “I know, right?” I agree, shaking a bottle of bright red nail polish. “He’s like the cutest baby ever.”

  “That bodes well for your future children. Jack came out of your gene pool, too. I wonder what Spence looked like as a baby.”

  “Amanda,” I say, giving her a look. “Let’s not even joke about Spence and I having kids right now.”

  “Oh come on, it’s just for fun. Like in middle school when we would combine our names with whoever we had a crush on,” Amanda says.

  “Yeah,” I say, laughing. “Like the time we both wrote ‘Mrs. Jason Albright’ on our notebooks and that’s how we found out we had a crush on the same guy?”

  Amanda lets out a laugh. “Oh my god, I forgot about that. That was the first fight we ever got in.”

  “And it didn’t even matter, because neither one of us stood a chance, seeing as Jason Albright turned out to be into guys.” I’m laughing so hard I have to put the nail polish down so I don’t spill it everywhere.

  “That was the one and only time we’ve ever had a crush on the same guy. What does that say about us?” Amanda says.

  “That we were probably looking for a gay best friend and didn’t realize it.” Maybe it’s the lingering effects of all the Bloody Mary’s we had at brunch, but we can’t stop laughing.

  “But seriously,” Amanda says once we’ve gotten control of ourselves. “You told Liam about Spence?”

  “Yes, but I was forced into that, because Spence drove me to the hospital when Macy was in labor.” I pause to paint one of my toes. “And him and Liam had this weird bro-ment and Liam said something to Spence, but Spence won’t tell me what he said. And now it’s like they’re cool with each other. Spence wants to come to family dinner.”

  Amanda shrugs and screws the cap back on a bottle of pale pink polish. “So bring him to family dinner. He’s your boyfriend, you should bring him.”

  “I don’t know, it feels too soon.” I sigh. “Spence has been great. Things are good with us. But it also feels like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know?”

  “Yeah, I guess,” Amanda says. “Spence doesn’t exactly have the best track record with dating.”

  “No, he doesn’t,” I agree.

  “Girls are always around him. And I don’t know that I trust he won’t give in to temptation one of these days.”

  Amanda shakes her head. “I don’t think he would. He’s crazy about you. When would he even have time to hang out with another girl? Every spare moment he has he’s following you around like a little puppy.”

  “This is true.” If I’m working, Spence comes to the bar. If I have a paper to write, Spence is watching TV on the couch next to me. We spend the night together several times a week.

  “Anyway, speaking of relationships, how are things with you and Lucas? Still good?”

  Amanda nods. “Yeah, still good.”

  “That didn’t sound very enthusiastic,” I say, giving her a look.

  “Well, obviously we had an intense start to things, and then it was kind of rough for awhile, and now it’s sort of turned into a nice, normal relationship.”

  “And that’s bad?” I ask.

  “No, it’s not bad. But it feels like we did everything backward.”

  “That’s because you did do everything backward.”

  She lets out an exasperated sigh. “Well I know that. But yes, things are still good, I’m happy with him. The only thing is, he’s always around, you know?”

  “So is Spence,” I say, shrugging. "But I don't mind. I'd rather he's always around here than out doing who knows what."

  She laughs. “God, how did this happen? How are we two best friends, dating two best friends, who live downstairs?”

  I laugh, but it comes out more like a snort, which sends us into another laughing jag. “I don’t know. Maybe someone should make a sitcom about us.”

  “I miss hanging out like this,” Amanda says.

  “Me too,” I agree.

  “We need to make this more of a priority. More girl time. The guys will have to deal with it.”

  “Agreed.”

  “But you should definitely take Spence home for dinner.”

  “Ugh,” I moan. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

  Amanda grins. “Fair enough. But I’m busy that night, just in case things don’t go well.”

  “Oh great.” I roll my eyes at her. “Thanks for your support.”

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Gemma

  Amanda insists she had nothing to do with it, but the next week Macy calls to invite me and Spence over for dinner.

  “Are you sure?” I ask her. “You just brought Jack home, aren’t you tired?”

  “Yes,” she says. “But we’re not too tired to order pizza and get to know this boyfriend of yours.”

  “You do know him, it’s not like he’s a complete stranger,” I say.

  “But now he’s your boyfriend. So we have to do all the new boyfriend rituals you’ve deprived us of over the years.”

  “Oh my god,” I groan. “I’m way too old for this and you’re way too young for this. You’re really embracing this whole mom thing.”

  She lets out a gleeful laugh. “I know, it’s amazing how quickly the instinct to nag and embarrass takes over. Anyway, we’ll see you both on Thursday, okay?”

  She hangs up the phone before I can protest.

  I contemplate not mentioning it to Spence and pretending he
’s busy, but I know Macy will keep hounding me about it, so I give in and tell him. He seems so excited I have to do my best to act excited, too. It’s not so much that I don’t want him to come to dinner, but I’m terrified of how awkward this has the potential to be.

  “This isn’t a big deal,” I tell Spence as we’re driving over. We’ve already bickered once tonight when he insisted on driving even though he doesn’t know where he’s going. I gave in eventually, since I know it hurts his feelings when I don’t let him act like the nice, chivalrous boy his mama raised. His words, not mine. I’m becoming slightly concerned his mother and I might not see eye to eye on some things.

  “Okay,” he says, smiling. He’s strangely relaxed while I’m the one freaking out.

  “We’re just getting pizza.”

  “I love pizza.”

  “Why aren’t you nervous?” I finally snap.

  “Why would I be nervous? It’s not like it’s my first time meeting them.”

  He stumps me with that. He has a point. But I guess Macy and Liam are the closest thing to parents that I have, and as my boyfriend Spence should be nervous about having dinner with them.

  Even if it is only pizza. Even if he has met them before.

  But I guess that doesn’t make sense. They’re not my parents. What they think of him matters, but not to the extent it would if they were my mom and dad. But he can’t meet my parents. So this is all I’ve got.

  “Are you nervous?” he asks, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

  “No,” I say. He smirks like he doesn’t believe me.

  “It’s going to be fine,” he says. “I’ll be my perfect, charming self. We’ll eat pizza. We’ll talk. We’ll go home. We’ll take our clothes off. I’ll—”

  I cut him off. “Okay, okay, save it for later. And do not mention anything about taking my clothes off at dinner.”

  “No?” he says, smiling impishly. “That was my entire plan. To divulge every single detail of our sex life to your brother. Now what am I supposed to talk about?”

  I whack him in the arm. “Take your next left,” I instruct him.