by P. S. Power
When he left, no one spoke for a while. Finally Claire told them that the woman, 'Rich' was the only name she'd give, could not be helped by any reasonable means. Therefore she'd be killed. No show of hands this time, no discussion, just an announcement.
Zack understood, since he had a running monologue from Claire about the whole thing. She did it this way so that no one else would feel responsible for what happened later on. So that they could always point at her later and say 'she did it, not me'.
“Do you need me to take her somewhere?” Zack asked, looking into Claire's eyes without blinking. They'd turned from brown to a slightly reddish brown, nowhere near fully turned, just a hint of her inner beast peeking out at the prospect of a bloody death.
She shook her head and melted a little, relaxing, realizing that he wouldn't be making a fuss about what had to be done.
“I have a car and some people coming. The body won't exist by daylight.”
Later, when he climbed in bed, she came with him, her cool body pressed against his, her arms wrapped around him.
She didn't cry about what had to be done.
She didn't let go all night, either.
Chapter twenty-five
The seventeenth came in a rush. Things had been busy the day before, but they all knew what was coming the next day. The five giant men that had pounded him on the back had reminded him. Often.
Hilda could barely contain herself, waking Zack up early, like a kid on Christmas morning. Of course, considering that not getting up meant trying to sleep with a 280 pound power lifter bouncing up and down on his chest, he felt his real options to be somewhat limited. His bladder unable to take the strain forced him to get up and head to the bathroom, which Hilda took as signaling the start of the day.
Merri laid out a wonderful breakfast for them, which had more food, including sweets, than usual. His weigh in the day before had showed that he hadn't put on much since his poisoning, where he'd lost about fifteen pounds. He ate regularly, Hilda and Merri made sure of that, but nothing seemed to stick for some reason.
The whole day took sixteen hours and got him back just in time for bed. When he climbed in, Val waited for him, and oddly for her, wearing gray sweat pants and a long sleeved shirt.
“So, with your permission, we should begin with that 'sex stuff' we talked about a few weeks ago.” Her hand came up to stop him from speaking.
“This will be intense, but won't take long, unless you want it to and you won't even have to take your clothes off tonight. All you have to do is hold my hand. Though we can do more if you want...I'm not telling you what the limits are, you decide that, All right?”
He sat on the bed, willing and yet, still uneasy. He liked her, of course, it being biologically impossible not to for any Human, much less a male. It had nothing to do with desire, he had that, even though he'd fought against it of late. He'd been with other women before, back when there had been no solid memory of what had happened to him as a child. So, he had memories, good memories even, of that.
Memory.
That, he knew, really held the center of this for him. Could he have sex without those memories being brought to the surface uncontrollably?
Val held out her hand and he took it, giving her hand a little squeeze.
“Let's do this.” He didn't even pretend that he sounded confident. That was good, since the shaking of his voice would have given him away if he were trying.
“All right. I'm going to cause you to feel pleasure. Sexual pleasure. Since it's just holding your hand, you can control it by simply letting go if things get too intense. Try to hang on though, as long as negative memories don't come. The pleasure itself shouldn't be that intense, since it is only your hand that will be touching me. Unless you want to do more, then feel free. Ready?” Her Shadow told him how nervous she felt, not wanting to hurt him, but knowing that problems like this didn't get better if you didn't face them, fight them and not back down from them, if at all possible.
He nodded and felt an intense pleasurable tickle crawling up his arm. Every nerve in his hand sunk into pleasure, it felt... Nice. Definitely happening and not anything that triggered badness. But then, pleasure wasn't the problem for him. Sex was.
“Good? All right, let's increase the pleasure a bit.” This sounded very dirty and seductive suddenly.
Zack could see that though. Actively using her powers it would be near impossible to not seem seductive. He didn't want to think about how much effort just this cost her, holding back and doing this instead of the...Far more, she usually did.
The pleasure doubled, it moved further up his arm. He kept hold of her hand, it wasn't easy to do, the pleasure virtually ripped through him.
Val asked if he could hang on and he nodded, then felt his entire arm light up. It felt good, almost like too much of a good thing, then it increased again. His arm started to shake, trying to get away from the intense feelings, but he didn't let go.
She stopped and sat back.
“That's good! No bad memories at all?” Her eyes searched his for any hint of trouble.
“No, I was pretty much focused on my arm. That... Well, when we have sex, please don't do that to my whole body. I don't think I could take it...”
Chuckling the Succubus said not to worry, sex itself generally used much lower, closer to normal, levels of pleasure. Otherwise people became addicted almost instantly. That always led to problems, since the 'drug' could only be gotten from a specific person, as far as the afflicted knew at least, she explained to him.
“That's all I had planned for tonight, but since it didn't bother you at all, should we try the next step? I'll do the same thing, about a quarter to half what I just did, but to your stomach. It should give you an erection, but probably won't make you orgasm. Willing to try?” Eyes closed, he nodded. The probably part of that sound like it might make a mess, but he could change, if he had to. This was too important for him to keep ignoring like he had been.
The whole thing was messing him up, and on a deep level he knew that couldn't be allowed. He might only be him, but he was also the head of a multi-billion dollar transportation network that couldn't keep going if he collapsed one day. Worse, if he did that, little kids might end up dying, because he didn't get people in to help them. Innocent people that didn't even know he existed needed him to stop being what he was. Broken on a level that left him feeling small and powerless. All the time.
She had him lay down and lifted his shirt enough for her hand to rest on the flat of his stomach. The pleasure rose instantly, spreading out from her hand more slowly this time, steadily increasing. As it reached his groin he shifted a little uneasily. Though no memories came, not at first.
As pleasure increased, he felt himself throbbing in time to the waves of pleasure coming from her. She smiled and increased the power level. Slowly she let her hand trail a little lower.
Suddenly, without warning, he remembered. He'd been tied face down to a bed and men came in, speaking a language he didn't know, he had no clothes on...
“Stop!”
After composing himself for a moment he asked her to wait. Closing his eyes again, he let go of the memory, it tried to come back, but he held it off, letting it go, rather than burying it. The thing existed, but without power behind it. There, but not his master. Not anymore.
"Okay. Try it again now." His voice was rough, like he'd been crying already.
Which was silly, because he was going to save that for later, when the really bad things came back.
That particular one tried to again, as if testing his resolve, and he let it go, feeling it fade as it lost power over him. That seemed to be the key, he realized, removing the impact of the memory. He still had it, the knowledge of what had happened, he could go over it in his mind, it just didn't hold emotional influence over now.
Another tried to surface, which he dealt with in the same way. He kept going, diminishing the impact, removing the power, soon only tiny memories tried to su
rface, he dealt with those too.
“Valerie, could you increase the power for this next round?” He asked, still not wanting to, but knowing it had to be done. As weird as it sounded, this wasn't just about him now.
She smiled, wide eyed.
Zack swallowed, "I'm trying to fix the memories. These things are bad, but I can remove part of them, so they become just things, not..." He waved his arms, which moved his body, pushing against her hand, which was still on the flat of his middle.
Val moved her hand lower, finger tips under his waist band. Given what she'd done with his arm, he doubted she needed to do that. Then again, he had to keep in mind exactly what the problem entailed, in order to trigger those specific memories, it stood to reason that he needed to go into things that wouldn't be comfortable. Not comfortable at all. The pleasure jumped faster this time, everything centered on his groin, thrumming, waves of pleasure...He seemed fine. Until he wasn't.
The new memory hit him hard, a bad man, in a black suit, forcing things into his mouth. He couldn't breathe, choking, gagging. He relaxed, taking its power. Then another came and another. First he removed one, then let another go, each time the same bad man stood there. He knew this man. Another memory came, so he took its power and faced the next, then the next ten, the next hundred.
He kept fighting until these memories had no power over him.
He opened his eyes.
“Move lower and turn up the power, Val. I'm not stopping now... I know too much. I have to keep going.”
Her eyes grew wide at this, after a few moments a very serious look on her face, she nodded at him.
"You're in control here. We do what you say."
Hours passed. Val started to flag, worn out. She called in Nora, who showed up as Norris. He started to change when Zack said, “No, that's good. I... have to deal with homophobia too, it's tied to some of the deep memories. I mean, I so don't want to deal with this, but I think I have to do it now, before I chicken out. So, if you'd help?”
Norris nodded and listened while Val told him what the protocol they were using consisted of. Thankfully, Zack noticed, he hadn't put his hand anywhere as near his groin as Val had near the end. Near, being on, with her, if he remembered correctly.
When he finished, hours later, having hit everything he could raise and made it not hurt any more, he knew that he needed to do one more thing. He sat up first, Norris taking his hand away quickly.
“Thanks. I need a while now, then I'll be out. I have one more thing to deal with first.”
With a focus that would have made Big Shadow proud, Zack dove back in to his memories. He knew that man in black. That didn't shock him much, given his upbringing. He needed to look at this with a new perspective, the one he had after the void, seeing Shadows, seeing within a person, he focused and found it. There. Right there. Even in his oldest memories he could see it.
Taking a deep breath he got up and walked to the living room. Everyone sat there, waiting for him. Everyone. Even Lisa had come in and brought Barbara, Beth's girlfriend. He addressed her by name and complimented her beret. Most people can't pull that look off, on her, the blue hat worked with her dark skin nicely and really set off her brown eyes.
Everyone looked concerned.
“Okay... What?” They looked at him, then each other, then him again.
Claire spoke first saying, “Zack...You were in there for three days, plugged into every succubus that Patricia could muster. Norris was on his fourth turn. You muttered things occasionally, used the bathroom, drank water if we gave it to you, otherwise you seemed to be in a deep, deep trance.”
Zack considered this. Then just nodded a bit. It explained his sore back and extreme hunger. He had things to say first, before seeing to that, just in case the memories faded.
“I relived most of my childhood, up to the time of the void. As some of you know, that time may have been, a little longer, as far as what I experienced, than the seventeen months out here it seemed to take. I remembered it, but didn't focus on it. Anyway, I dug up everything I could find that might be hurtful and ripped the emotional power out of it. It took a while, longer than I thought. Then I had to check something.”
He told them all about the man in the black suit, how he'd organized the rape sessions, sold him to every kiddy porn maven he could find, used him himself when he got bored. Shot him up with drugs to keep him quiet and tractable.
“Probably not a big shock to anyone, but it was my Father. Well, I already knew he was bad.... The thing is though, he...” Glancing around the room, he realized he didn't know who knew what about him. Libby had been around a lot, for instance, but he didn't think she knew about his ability to see a person's Shadow.
“Um, okay, some of you know this already, that I can see what being is inside sometimes? Like knowing Libby's a bat because I literally see it. I see the Vampire inside all of you too. Hilda's Shadow self, that's what I call it, stands nine foot tall and looks a lot like her Mother.” Hilda chuckled so he smiled at her.
“Demons, look like black cylinders, about as big as a family sized soup can.” This got mapped out in the air.
“They sit up and down, mainly in the head, but down the neck as well. Obviously most people don't see this, not consciously at least but... It's pretty distinctive if you can. Once you know what to look for you can't miss it, even in memory.”
Troy put a hand up, like a kid in school and asked, “Your father was a demon, or like, possessed by one? And he did all that shit to you? Man, that's messed up!”
“Exactly, sometime after I was born and before I turned six years old, he'd been taken by a Demon.”
Everyone went silent, and then asked him what he needed to do. Which, when it came down to it, was getting things in order, then going back to work as soon as he could.
After all, that was why he'd done all of that, so he could keep going and not let anyone down too much.
The next twenty-four hours were spent with people feeding him and asking him to space out any future deathwatches please, as his current schedule had started to wear a bit on everyone else. He slept, real sleep, that night and didn't have to worry about bad dreams for the first time in weeks. As to the Demon/Dad situation they could do absolutely nothing. Since his father had died, the Demon had probably entered another body already. Who knew where it was or what it had been doing since?
He spent the next two weeks working non-stop, trying to catch-up with demand a little bit, though the more he did, the further the knowledge of the service traveled and the more his work became in demand.
Hilda made him take an hour off each Monday to lift weights. His strength, while not superhuman by any means, had grown pretty well, even though he still weighed too little, having not even returned to his previous pre-poisoned size yet.
On Wednesdays he spent an hour with Wu-Li, who mainly showed him martial arts moves and had him practice them, while moving energy around in different patterns of circulation. That at least was easier than lifting heavy things.
Lisa went to Lesser Shia with Nora, Val, Beth and Barbara. She came back the next day with a lot of leads as to lodging and things people should do when they got there. She made a map of the market that showed where different shops were, and how to find the translator kiosk.
The merchants were pleased with the increase in business. Or so Zack had heard. He'd never been out in the place himself yet.
A council of Lesser Shia business owners wanted to meet with him, suggesting a secondary Node office there for him, concentrating on a few areas people liked to come and go from. They invited him to bring whomever he wanted to hear their proposal, too. It was almost like they thought he was someone important, or at least hard to deal with. Lisa scheduled it for a Thursday, though he'd started losing track of time pretty badly. He'd noticed when the mall put up Christmas decorations, though it caught him by surprise.
He hurried to get some up in the Candle shop, even though Lisa laughed at him. That got her fi
rmly ignored.
“Holidays are important. They bring us together, if we let them. I may not be good at being normal, but I can try with the best of them, MORE GARLANDS!” He shouted. Everyone laughed, including Claire across the way.
He planned on taking Christmas off and having a tree and all that. He actually scheduled time off work early just to get the tree and decorations with Hilda, since she'd never done Christmas before, and had a truck. While everyone else worked, they started decorating the house. It didn't look professional, he knew, but it did look festive. Silver, green and red garlands ringed the room, with brightly colored lights twinkling between them
"Say... Zack?" The giantess smiled at him in a way that made him suspect mistletoe was about to be produced, but that didn't happen. There was just a pause, which he was supposed to fill with clever banter or a witty rejoinder.
"Yes?" It was the best he had at the moment, but he managed to add a smile to the picture, which seemed to help her relax.
"We... have a small issue. Merry is very worried, since she doesn't have any money to buy people presents for the holiday. No one else really understands it, but I think I do. It's... a Cultural thing? That is how we put it, yes?" There was a shiny red metallic garland in her hand, looking like the worlds loudest feather boa, but it made her seem cheery even with a half serious expression on her face.
It took a bit, but her Shadow passed the rest of the picture along before she could say anything more about it. Merri couldn't spend the household money on presents, as that would be wasteful and break the trust of her position as keeper of the hearth, even though they didn't have a literal hearth. She also wouldn't take money for work done as part of the family, of course. It left them in a bind as far as he could tell.
He finally went to Mac, her brother and asked him what the Alfric did.
“Oh and aye! That would be a hard one. Father always gave mother an allowance, a few gold to spend on ribbons and pretties if she desired. That way the dear woman didn't have to ask for every little thing, as that could take a bite out of one's pride. Even asking someone you love.”
