by P. S. Power
He carefully didn't thank his brother in law. He did say he'd do that. Give Merri an allowance if that made her more comfortable. He'd gotten most of the way down the Mall when he realized that he had internally referred to Mac as his brother in law. It was true, but still got him to slow for a step. Somewhere in his mind, Merri was his... wife. That meant that they all were, didn't it? It was hard to even picture, really.
Zack knew he needed help with all this. First he went to see Lisa and asked her to set up an account for Merri's “allowance,” which had to come out of his funds, not the household fund. Since they were both growing rapidly it didn't really affect him at all. He felt certain that the difference would matter to Merri though.
He also asked Lisa to get away for Christmas and come to his house somehow. Being that she had as important a place as anyone in the little family group that had grown up.
“I don't sleep with you though.” She put in, as if that might make a difference.
“I haven't actually slept with anyone yet. Extra cuddle sessions, but no sex. I'm not that experienced, not compared to some of them, maybe all of them. I need to study up on the subject. Maybe a book or computer class?” She chuckled as if he had missed something, or had done something delightful. He couldn't tell and her Shadow didn't help much, just saying, It's right there. Neither part of her explained that though, so he ended up just handling the paperwork and leaving. Reminding her to come for the holiday, regardless.
The thing with his evil father being possessed bothered him. It didn't make him like his father any better, it just made him wonder how much of that evil had been the Demon, and how much Dad? He had to turn away from the thought several times a day in order to keep things flowing smoothly.
To get Christmas going in style, he needed help, someone that knew how to get things done, understood people and always did top notch work. Then Zack stopped for a second, thinking about how that included just about everyone he knew. There was one person that might be able to help, specifically, being perfectly suited for such diverse tasks.
Patty.
She liked to cook, she had impeccable taste, and probably knew who to hire to get things done. Being a succubus she probably knew what kind of gifts women liked in general. Men too. She might even have personal insight into what these people in particular might like, given her job as Ambassador involved, in part, spying on them.
To that Christmasy end, Zack headed over to her store and asked to see her in private. She asked Val to hold her calls, the words coming out as a mellow and only slightly sexy soprano, and escorted him to her office. It turned out to be large, taking up about half of the back area. It had a good sized fainting couch, the kind with one arm that turned into a back. It seemed larger than normal, so he asked about it.
“Indeed! I had it commissioned from a company in Italy, they do excellent work. They didn't even blink when I asked for it to be over-sized, and explained to them that it made having sex on it more comfortable. In fact I think they added some extra padding. Now, what can I help you with?”
He didn't know where to start, so he mentioned that the holidays were coming and he could use her help, because he knew he wasn't very good at some things yet.
She picked up a pen to start taking notes.
“What areas specifically do you think you need help in? Cunnilingus? Never mind, most people need help there. Sexual technique? Positions in general? Timing and control? That one should be easy, what with your mental skills. Anything else troubling you? Finding the G-spot? It's real, and not all that hard to find, at least on Human women. Alfric... Honestly I don't know about that one. I'll need to check.” Whatever she was thinking, it all got written down, which was... Funny.
He could tell from her Shadow that she'd been teasing him, joking in a good-natured, if in a highly sexual fashion.
“Well, yes. I'm not very experienced at all. Specifically though I came to get help with shopping and getting people stuff for Christmas? I've never really done that either. But, I mean, I keep working all the time and finding reasons not to have sex, because I'm pretty sure I can't measure up...”
He looked down, then after a minute tried to meet her eyes without shame. He knew who and what he was, hiding it wouldn't help him become a better person.
“Well... I know it's not all of what you mean, but both Valerie and Norris have mentioned that you do, indeed, measure up, and are somewhat above average in size, but within reasonable bounds. That's just about perfect for most women. So, one less thing you have to worry about right? The rest is skill, including picking the right present for someone. Yes. I think I can help you, if you really want to learn...” She let her gaze go smoky, filled with promise. “But don't think it will be easy! We are talking actual classes here, not an excuse to have sex or browse in stores. To do anything less would be... sloppy.”
She suggested they start the next day and that he keep part of it a secret.
“Tell them you're here getting sexual instruction. They'll believe that and I think you'll find, actually be impressed. Since none of them have big hang-ups about sharing a man, a bit of schooling shouldn't shake them. Especially since Val can tell them what kinds of things you'll be learning and how.”
Then they would use part of that time to select the right gifts for each person on his list. She also instructed him to make a list of who got a personal present, who got a 'nice', but generic, gift and who got a card.
The personal list seemed easy enough. Anyone living at his house. And Libby, who came over a lot and watched movies with them. And Nikki. Keane. Merle too, and Lars, Wu-Li and Dan. The guys at the gym may rate too...
Patty stopped him and gave him a rule to work by. “If they're related and in the state, they get personal presents, even if you don't like them. Lovers, people who you'd like to be lovers, and friends that live with you count as family. The rest get presents if they're close to someone you love or their family if they're local, these people get generic gifts though. Jam and fruit baskets, that kind of thing. Everyone else gets a card. This would change if you owned a business with different dynamics, but for now you don't so we can start with the simpler style.”
That helped him narrow things down a little.
They agreed to meet at seven each night, starting the next evening, so that this wouldn't interfere with any of his other scheduled appointments. Patty had to schedule around some things for this herself.
Lisa stopped him as he walked past and gave him the first of Merri's 'allowance', a combination of gold coins, about eighty ounces, since she should understand this most easily, a thousand in paper bills, and the promise of a debit card, though she needed to get with Lisa about setting it up and getting it activated.
He thanked her and gave her a quick hug.
When everyone got home he took Merri aside and explained that he knew they were meeting a cultural rift with money, so he'd asked Mac, who suggested that he give her an allowance, so that she could spend it freely without worrying that it took from other places it might be needed more.
Hugging him close he could feel her relief, as if all tension had drained out of her.
“I'm so glad! I didn't like fighting like that, but I'm your wife, not some hired woman that simply does the cooking! I know your ways are different, but I'm so glad you understand now!”
It took effort, but he managed not to blurt out that he hadn't realized they were fighting, figuring that he'd have to be more aware of her feelings in the future, if that's how subtle things were going to be with her.
He presented her with the gold and cash, then explained the debit card.
She tried to give the gold back, as being too much. He shook his head and explained that a lady of her station may need that much or even more and that she should keep the gold she got for when they traveled to distant lands and such.
“Oh! That makes sense. I hadn't thought of that. Most people don't travel all that much where I come from. I wish we could go there som
eday. It's very far away though and no Demon will go there now. All travel comes over land. It took years to get here.”
He couldn't be certain yet, but he thought he might have found a decent Christmas gift for her.
Chapter twenty-six
When everyone got home Troy had news for them. Good news. That was rare enough that Zack actually clapped his hands when he heard it.
“I got a promotion! You are all looking at the new assistant bar manager of The Tarantula.” He preened a little while everyone congratulated him and patted him on the back. He got a hug from Hilda and Nikki walked over and put her arm around him.
Even Betty came in and gave him a small hug, much to Zack's surprise. He'd thought she might still be mad at him over the things with Val.
“It technically pays more, but Taylor said that since you don't get as many tips it about evens out, it's still moving up though!” He flopped onto one of the huge wrap around sofa's sections, next to Val, who smiled at him a little. This made Betty scowl, Zack noticed, and her Shadow self glared at both Val and Troy.
So wasn't really over then, he realized watching the interplay and communication of their Shadow selves. Betty didn't really care about Troy, other than as someone she'd slept with, her inner being told the room. Only the fact that Val had so easily stolen Troy from her, and that he had so blatantly disregarded her when she caught them, angered her now.
For his part, Troy sat there pleased that he'd slept with two hot women. He hadn't ever expected lasting relationships anyway, so he didn't feel hurt himself. He did kind of hope one or both of them would have sex with him again. Then his Shadow self started describing a scene in which they all could take part...
Zack looked around, trying to ignore this interplay. He really didn't want to know what they were thinking on that topic, so he tried to change the subject.
“So, what does everyone want for Christmas?” This got everyone's attention.
Hilda and Merri both focused hard, not knowing what the appropriate type of response would be. Christianity seemed merely a quaint belief to Merri, who'd never discussed her personal beliefs at all. To Hilda it was a story of something that happened in the past, to be searched for examples of how to live now, not something to dominate a life. She felt the same way about most television shows they'd watched too.
Val's mother had always 'done' Christmas, while the kids grew up. They weren't Christians, they just wanted to blend in with everyone around them, plus it had seemed like fun at the time. Zack knew this from previous conversations. Her eyes locked with his and took on a seductive air.
“Well, if you're sure you feel up to it, there is something that you could give me... Though I don't want to wait three weeks for it, if I don't have to...”
Zack decided that this would be a good time to mention the sessions he'd planned with Patricia. He told them about it, saying that he knew he had been putting things off because he didn't want to mess up and make anyone unhappy.
Troy started to rib him a little about it, so Hilda threw a pillow at him. The force of it rocked him back, stunning him into silence. She grinned at him innocently, slowly pulling another pillow toward her. Expecting possible retaliation.
Claire just smiled a little and looked... wistful, and maybe a little sad.
The others didn't say much, just looked at him, causing him to blush.
Val however leaned forward and asked, “Did she say, and this is important, sexual instruction or sex lessons?”
Thinking back on it sexual instruction seemed to be the term he remembered. He told her this and her eyes lit up suddenly.
“Oooh! She must really like you then!” To the rest of the room she explained what she meant while still staring at Zack.
Sex lessons, she explained, entailed pretty much what you might expect. Sex, with a few tips thrown in. Enough to move a man or woman past the basics of good hygiene and the missionary position. Generally, this simply meant that someone wanted sex, yet performed so poorly that no one wanted to actually do it with them after the first time or two.
“Think of it as harvesting energy for us, while teaching someone not to be a totally selfish bore.”
“Sexual instruction however, now that's completely different. We're talking about what Alede kids actually learn in school. Textbook stuff, mainly reading, focusing on fundamentals no doubt, as you won't need the whole package. Anatomy, physiology, some psychology – the real information. This stuff isn't normally shared with outsiders. Mainly because it takes a lot of time to teach, compared to just taking someone to bed and correcting their errors. We really must take her a gift...”
“Still, sex 'instruction', doesn't make you look very cool.” Troy snickered into the pillow he clutched across his chest. It acted a little bit like armor for him when the next volley of pillows came in, this time from Betty, who may have had personal reasons mixed in with her outrage at his words and from Hilda again. The giant woman's hard shot took him full in the chest, rocking him back again, hard on its heels the Human servant's pillow fairly accurately hit him in the head.
Troy covering his head cried out, “Sorry, sorry! I won't say it again. Don't hurt me.” His laughter and apology seemed to mollify them, though both women armed themselves with another pillow each, just in case.
Merri came over and sat on his lap. “Well, I don't exactly understand what this is about, but if Valerie says it's impressive and it will help you feel comfortable in your role as husband then I think it's a wonderful thing.” Her tiny voice, soft, rang with bell like clarity.
Troy stopped. “Wait, you two are married? Since when?” Anyone looking at him could tell that he expected a joke of some kind to follow.
Merri hugged him and cuddled into his lap. “Oh yes! We've all been married for over a month now! Since we moved in. I thought you knew...”
Troy looked baffled, so Claire explained the whole thing, including the special circumstances different people fell under and how seriously some took it. Then she explained to Troy that it didn't mean he did anything wrong sleeping with Valerie, since that kind of thing is integral to her nature.
Then, artfully, in a way that Zack almost didn't catch, she led the discussion back to what people wanted for Christmas. He smiled at her and said softly, so that she could hear him, but not everyone could, “Thank you.”
She grinned at him charmingly.
Troy mentioned that a new version of a long running video game had just come out, that would be great to play, with the new television and game system. Merri gasped.
“There's another?”
It turned out that Merri and Troy had been playing through the latest in the series at night, when he didn't work and Zack slept. Merri looked a little guilty about this, though everyone else thought it sounded like a great idea. Why shouldn't she get to have fun? She worked for something like sixteen hours a day, some days more, what with her job and keeping the house up. A few hours playing a video game seemed harmless enough, they all told her.
Hilda said that she'd like a 'music player'. When asked for details she shrugged and just said, “Something that plays music...” Then she shrugged again and smiled.
Val asked if her mother could come for Christmas.
“Sure, but that doesn't have to be your present. Will we need to get her from the Alede lands or something though? I've never been to a nexus there.” Zack tried to recall if he had ever gone to a node connected to those lands, and came up empty. He found out why instantly when Val started chuckling.
“Mom lives in L.A. There are no Alede lands, we come from all over the place. I was born in Detroit, if you can believe it.”
Everyone agreed that they could host another person, for a few days at least, so Val should make the arrangements. She clapped her hands like a little kid and gave a soft cheer.
Merri said she didn't think her parents could come, being years of travel away. She did mention that she'd like some new pots and pans, some other things to help keep th
e house clean, perhaps something like that. Val rolled her eyes and said they needed to have a talk about Christmas and what to ask for... they actually made a date to do so that night while Zack slept.
Claire demurred, saying that she really didn't need anything.
He got up and walked over to her, then sat next to her. Close, pressing to her side and sliding an arm around her cool shoulders, he pulled her tight to him.
“It's not about what you need, but about what I can get or do for you to show you that I care. Giving me a clue about what that could be just makes it easier for me to not make a catastrophic mistake in gift choices. So, if you come up with anything....?”
She said she would try to think of something, then kissed him on the cheek.
He glanced over at Nikki and then Betty.
“So? What do you two want or need?” This caused Betty to blush, and Nikki to blink rapidly a few times.
“Wait. We get presents too? Why?” Betty asked innocently.
"Well, you both live here and are friends of mine, like Troy is, so you count as family. Hence, presents." It was a handy rule that Patty had given him. Useful already.
Troy looked at Zack baffled.
“I... know that Betty lives here now, I mean, she's almost always here and has a room downstairs at least, but Nikki? Is she moving in? I know she comes almost every night, but I thought she was just, you know, hanging out or something. Like Libby does sometimes.”
Everyone went quiet then. Claire cleared her throat, a complete affectation, as she didn't even really need to breathe, and wouldn't have anything built up in her throat. Really, Zack thought, her small Human mannerisms were probably more believable than his own, all things considered. She'd had a lot more Human world time to learn and practice them.
“Well, I guess Nikki has learned her lesson by now, and really hasn't been being punished for a while, so we can share this with you. Nikki has indeed been living here, for several weeks.” Then she left it at that. Or tried to.
