Summer Solace

by Maggie Ryan

  “Guess it’s not too bad. I don’t think anyone will be able to tell I got a spanking by tomorrow, do you?” Amber asked.

  Joanna was surprised but tried to hide it when Amber turned to look at her. She was standing totally nude and not the least bit self conscious. She grinned as she rubbed her bottom.

  “I have this really cute bikini to wear and hope there won’t be bruises. What do you think?” The young woman turned so that her back was facing Joanna.

  Without a thought, Joanna found her eyes roving over the young girl’s backside. She was surprised to see that there was no real evidence that the girl had just gotten a hard paddling. From the sounds of the paddle slapping into her bottom, Joanna would have expected the girl’s bottom to be crimson. Instead, the color was barely pink. She felt a stirring in her stomach and refused to think about what that might mean.

  “It looks good, Gabe is pretty good about - ” Joanna stopped the instant she realized what she was saying. Amber gazed at her intently. Joanna blushed, which Amber noticed but ignored.

  “Great! It always feels like he is stripping my skin off with that paddle, but it’s not bad and I’ll be fine tomorrow.” Amber grinned, satisfied she’d be fine by the morning.

  Joanna was grateful that her slip hadn’t been noticed. She watched the young girl grab her soap, shampoo and razor and head towards the curtained off shower stall. Amber stepped into the stall and then turned back.

  “Thanks for not making a big deal out of this, Joanna,” Amber said. “I know you probably don’t run into people getting their butts spanked on a regular basis, but well, thanks.”

  Joanna grinned and then impulsively stepped forward and hugged the girl. “You are welcome, honey. I really enjoyed meeting you, regardless of the situation. I’ve got to run, and you,” she said as she glanced at her watch, “have got about fifteen minutes before the big mean paddler comes to get you.”

  Amber stood for a moment and then said, “Joanna, I know it isn’t any of my business but -”

  “You’re right, it’s not,” Joanna interrupted.

  Amber felt a moment of guilt but her true nature won out. “I just wanted to say that Gabe is a really nice guy…even though he spanks.”

  Joanna turned her face away, not wanting Amber to see her confusion. “I know, Amber, but, well, it’s complicated,” she admitted.

  Amber nodded. It was easy to see that whatever had happened when she was just a young teen had affected these two deeply, and still was. Amber loved her brother and wanted him to find happiness. She also had instinctively liked Joanna.

  She smiled, and before stepping into the shower, she said softly, “Constellations are very complicated, Joanna, and yet they are truly wonderful. Before modern electricity, people had to discover if they were brave enough to step into the darkness and face their questions and fears. Not knowing what is ahead or even sometimes behind, is a scary proposition. I believe it is even scarier not to take the chance of discovery. The reward is you discover that the darkness won’t swallow you, it rewards you with beauty and the light of the stars to guide you.”

  She gave Joanna another smile and then pulled the shower curtain closed.

  Joanna stared at the closed curtain for a long moment. After washing her hands, she took Amber’s towel from the sink and laid it on the bench outside the curtain. She had been surprised at the girl’s wisdom, her words causing Joanna to realize she had some decisions to make. It was obvious Amber truly adored her brother.

  Joanna looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes looked huge, and, she admitted, sad. She had managed not to feel so much in such a very long time. The dark had never frightened her. It was where she felt safe. Could she step out of its cover and walk into the rest of her life? She had no idea what would happen if she began to bring all her fears, questions and even her dreams back into the light. Sighing, she left the bathroom and saw Gabe walking towards her. She didn’t want to fight with him. No matter what had happened, he had always been kind to her. She waited for him to get closer.

  “She’s almost done,” she said quietly.

  He nodded and was glad to see that Joanna had not yet left. “Do you want us to walk you back?” he asked, not wanting her to leave. He had a sense that there was so much more buried inside her. He wanted nothing more than to discover what had changed her. What had caused her to offer him so much only for him to discover that it wasn’t hers to give?

  She was watching him closely. His eyes seemed to smolder and she again felt a deep physical pull towards him. She forced herself to pull her mind away from where her libido was trying to take her. She definitely needed to step away, far away until she could think about all of this. She shook her head.

  “No, I’m fine. I’ve got the Jeep parked just off the trail a bit further down. I’m done for the evening,” she said. “Thanks again for the coffee.”

  He nodded. “I need to see you again, Jo. This can’t be over. I think you owe me that much, don’t you?”

  She looked puzzled for a moment and then turned away. “I don’t feel I owe you anything, Gabe. I need to think about…good…good night.”

  Gabe allowed her to walk away. She had seemed so sad, so broken. For some reason, he felt it was his fault. He found he wanted to do whatever was necessary to see a real smile cross her lips, hear her laugh, her head thrown back in pure joy. If what she needed at this moment was to walk away, he’d give her space. However, these woods weren’t all that large and she couldn’t hide from him forever. After all, he was a camper, and as the chief ranger, it was her responsibility to make sure he was safe and content.

  He leaned against the wall of the bathroom and looked up at the stars. Amber found him a few minutes later. She smelled clean and fresh, her hair loosely braided. She was wearing her camping pajamas, which consisted of sweat pants and one of Gabe’s old t–shirts. Her feet were shoved into a pair of moccasins. He took her bag and put one arm around her. He hugged her to his side.

  “Okay?” he asked as she leaned into him.

  “Couldn’t be better,” Amber assured him. “Thanks, Gabe. I love you. Thanks for the break back there, you know, not making me spend my quiet time.”

  He bent to kiss her cheek. What he had told Joanna was the truth, he adored this girl. Sure, he’d spank her when she earned it, but he didn’t believe she needed to be truly embarrassed. He would always make sure she felt comforted and loved. Giving solace was just as vital as giving discipline.

  “You are welcome. Spend a little time thinking about your behavior before you sleep, okay?”

  “Yes, Sir,” she promised. “Gabe, are you okay? It seemed a little tense back there. I know you think I’m still a little kid, but I’m not ignorant. I know you were hurting and want you to remember I love you.”

  Gabe’s first impulse was to tell her to mind her own business. However, he looked into her eyes and saw that she was truly concerned. He could never hurt someone that cared that much about how he was feeling.

  “I’ll be okay, Amber. I’m supposed to be older and wiser, and I’m not sure even I can figure it out. Thanks for caring,” he said and then reached out and swatted the seat of her sweatpants. She yelped but her smile was present. Gabriel wished she wasn’t growing up so fast. He’d miss the special bond they had always had once she found her own mate. He ruffled her damp hair.

  “Hey!”

  “Love you too, Brat. Now, let’s get some sleep.”

  She giggled and broke away to race to the camp site. He followed and though she obediently went to her tent and was soon sleeping, he found his thoughts too involved with a certain lady ranger to allow him to sleep. He climbed out of his sleeping bag and tent. He climbed up on top of the picnic table and laid back, his arms behind his head serving as a pillow. He gazed up at the same swath of stars as the girls had earlier and let his thoughts drift.

  He would have been surprised to discover that Joanna was also unable to sleep and was gazing to the heavens. She couldn�
�t get the evening’s events out of her head. She blushed thinking about how her stomach had tingled and her heart pounded as she had watched Amber getting paddled. She felt guilty as she realized that the sight had not horrified or outraged her. Instead, it had caused her senses to feel heightened, her heart to beat fast in her chest and her breathing to quicken. She couldn’t stop thinking about a certain man and almost wishing that his huge hands had been on her bottom instead. She felt her face flush and stood up from the swing.

  She shook herself.Get a grip Joanna! shetold herself. That was a long time ago and had ended horribly. Let it go. Let him go…again.She finally climbed into her own bed and fell asleep remembering how wonderful her name had sounded when Gabe had called her Jo.

  Chapter 3

  The next day dawned bright and sunny. Joanna walked into the office knowing that it was going to become a scorcher before the day was done. The winds had died down during the night, and she was glad she was to spend the day out on the water.

  “Hey, Joanna,” Dan said as she walked over to the large building beside the office. He was busy counting paddles and throwing life jackets into a huge pile. Joanna began to sort the jackets according to sizes.

  “Good morning. Do we have a large group today?”

  Dan threw a few more jackets her way and then started separating the paddles. He had seen her eyes. She looked exhausted. He knew she had probably stayed around way late the evening before just to make sure nothing happened with the high winds. He hated being the bearer of additional stress.

  “Yep, and we have a problem,” Dan informed her. “There are about eighteen folks signed up, but Steven just called in sick again.”

  Joanna moaned even as she looked up. “Again? That’s twice already and summer has barely started. Kim or you have to remain here and run the store and office. We’ll need three rafts for that many people and three guides unless we can talk some of the campers to stay up river above the falls.”

  Dan nodded, knowing the routine. He continued to sort the paddles against the shed wall and then turned to her. “I know. Kim is already inside, and as you can see, people are already showing up. I guess we get them all together and then see what we can do,” he suggested.

  She squared her shoulders. “I’ll take care of it. Are the rafts ready to go?”

  Dan nodded. He had inflated and triple checked each raft before Joanna arrived. He answered with a grin to relieve the tension. “Ready when you are, boss lady,” he assured her. “Let me know what you want to do.”

  Joanna nodded and headed towards the store. She took the steps two at a time and pushed through the door. She felt it hit something and heard a grunt.

  “I’m sorry!” she said, realizing that she had opened the door into somebody. She looked up and recognized Gabe and her face heated. “Oh, God, are you okay?”

  He rubbed his chest but grinned seeing the concern on her face. “Not God, remember? Just Gabe, Gabriel…or Sir,” Gabe said.

  Her face turned scarlet as his words threw her mind back in time. It was a joke he always told whenever she had screamed out in either ecstasy or pain. Gabe watched the memory flow over her and she actually looked as if she was going to faint. He reached out and held her at her waist. “Hey, Jo, it’s okay. Breathe. I shouldn’t have said that. Are you okay?” Gabe asked. “Honey, just breathe, come on…in…out…in…out, that’s good. That’s my girl.”

  Joanna’s world shifted the moment he touched her. The crowd of people, the store, the sounds all disappeared. Her lungs ached until he told her to breathe and then walked her through the steps as if she couldn’t remember how. Her head felt light, her limbs heavy.

  When she lifted her eyes to his, Gabe could see the sheen of tears in them. He felt incredibly sad and whispered, “Oh, Jo. Babe, what happened to us?”

  Joanna couldn’t speak. She simply shook her head and pulled away from his hold. Gabe was about to call after her when she turned.

  “Not here, not now,” she said. “I…I have a job to do. Please, please let me do it.”

  He had to respect her request. She obviously took her job and her responsibilities quite seriously. “You’re right, but soon, Jo. We owe each other that much.”

  She took another deep breath. He had said they owed each other, not that she alone owed him an explanation. She closed her eyes briefly and then nodded.

  Gabe was grateful. It wasn’t all he wanted, but if that was what she could offer at this moment, he would gracefully accept it.

  Kim called to her. “Joanna, can you take two more?”

  Joanna looked up to see a young couple standing by the counter already holding disclaimer sheets in their hands. They both looked excited, and by the pile of snacks and drinks on the counter, had already purchased what they thought they needed for a long day on the river. She sighed.

  “Can I have everyone gather out front?” she asked.

  People began to stream out of the store to gather on the porch. Joanna heard laughing and excited voices as she turned to Kim. “We are overbooked, Kim. I’m going to have to disappoint some people as it is with Steven gone again.”

  Kim looked upset. “I could go with ya’ll,” she volunteered.

  Joanna shook her head, “No, I’d love for you to come but someone has to stay here,” she said. Joanna grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler and turned to head outside to face the music. She almost ran into Gabe again. He reached out to steady her once more. God, it seemed like he was constantly touching her, throwing her off balance.

  “Can I help?” he asked softly.

  She immediately began to shake her head. “I can handle it. I don’t need you to save me. You didn’t the last t…” she stopped, her face flushing as she realized what she had said and how it had sounded. It had been ugly and rude. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. Thanks for the offer but I can handle it.”

  Gabe was still trying to figure out the meaning behind her first statement. He was definitely going to get to the bottom of whatever or whoever had hurt her so deeply. This was not the time though. He smiled to show her that her words hadn’t been taken as an insult. He tried again by offering, “Before you say no, I have credentials.”

  She looked up at him, her mouth open as she lifted the bottle. He felt his heart hitch at seeing her lips parted but forced himself to continue. “I don’t have any agenda here, Joanna. I’ve guided before, I grew up on this river, and well, I was a Seal, remember?”

  She swallowed the water, surprised it didn’t choke her. “I…I remember,” she said, another memory making her heart pound. He looked even better now than he had back then in his Naval uniform, if that were possible. His hair shone and his t–shirt strained to cover his muscular chest. She didn’t dare allow her gaze to drop lower though she was definitely aware of his bare legs beneath the hem of his trunks.

  “I’d be glad to guide one of the rafts. I would hate to disappoint these folks and it looks as if you could definitely use the help. I’m here if you want me.”

  Joanna wondered briefly if everything they said to each other would somehow form a link with their past. She was again about to protest when she heard Dan outside asking everyone to settle down so he could talk to them. She quickly stepped past Gabe and pushed open the door.

  “Come on,” she said as she made her way to the porch. She looked around and saw the eager faces turned towards her. “Good morning, everyone,” she began. A chorus of voices replied and she continued. “I want to thank everyone for coming. I know it is really early for some of you.”

  She heard several people laugh and even a few groans. Her eyes drifted over to the young men from camp site twelve and wondered how they had managed to drag themselves out of their sleeping bags so early. Youth, she thought wryly. She looked at the crowd and said, “I do have an announcement to make. Steven, one of our guides, is out ill today. We will need three rafts to accommodate everyone, but only have two official guides.”

  She saw people begin to
look around at each other and a few voices begin to grumble. She knew that everyone had signed up and that no one would appreciate being left off the roster. She saw Dan begin to walk towards her and she held up her hand for silence. “I will need to see who among you has any rafting experience and then we’ll decide what to do. If you have rafted before, please gather on my right. If this is your first time or you feel inexperienced, please gather on my left.” She saw people moving and also saw that some people seemed undecided. She smiled, “Please folks, if we can split up according to experience I think I have a solution to make sure we all get to enjoy the trip.” Her words seemed to do the trick and soon there were two groups gathered. She quickly counted the people. There were only a half dozen who had claimed to be inexperienced.

  Joanna smiled again and said, “Good! Thanks, everyone. I will take the inexperienced group.”

  She turned and introduced the two men. “This is my co–guide, Dan, who has been running these trips for the past three years.”

  Dan gave a small nod, his smile encompassing the entire group.

  Joanna continued. “This is Gabriel…um Gabe. He is not an official guide, but has volunteered his services. Gabe grew up around here, has run the river many times, and is an ex–Navy Seal. I’d say that makes him extremely qualified. I will leave it up to you to decide for yourselves whom you’d like to go with if you decide to spend the day with us on the river. If not, I can try to reschedule a group tomorrow. I know this is your vacation time. Let’s all do what we can to make it safe and fun for everyone.”

  She paused and noticed that not a single person left the area. She relaxed and said, “Great! Okay, Gabe, you and Dan can split up the others if that is okay.” Dan looked a bit surprised, but when Gabe stepped off the porch and offered his hand, he readily shook it. Dan fully trusted her to know how to keep her campers safe, and if she believed this guy could cover for Steven, then he would go with the flow.

  “That will work, Joanna,” Dan said, glad that she had solved their problem so quickly. Soon everyone had been assigned their spots in the rafts and had chosen their oars. Life vests were distributed with instructions that they must be worn even by experienced rafters.