Scandalous Past

by A H S Salt

  “That’s what Elijah did!” I choked out, I rushed away, needing some space, needing air.

  “I’m not trying to control you” He hollered to me.

  I turned abruptly to face him, watching him as he retreated towards me with confident strides.

  “Then what do you want from me, Cillian!” I wailed.

  Why do men have to be so damn complicated?

  He dropped his shoes, and rushed at me, cupping my face.

  “You,” He said slowly “Don’t you see? I only want you”

  I stared at him. Perfect in every way possible. Only his words triggered me to the dark place where I hid all my emotional pain that Elijah had caused. A part of me knew Cillian would do anything to keep me safe but the devil on my shoulder was warning me to run. Run as far away from men and never look back.

  “I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was telling you what to do. I’m just worried about you Jess. He can’t hurt you now, I won’t allow anyone to hurt you. I’ll hire round the clock security if that’s what it takes.” His fingers flexed in my hair as he held me. Straining to prove he could protect me.

  Having a babysitter wasn’t the answer to my dilemma.

  I should have smiled and run into his arms from his declaration only I didn’t’. I had nothing left to give “Please” I pushed away “Just take me home.” Exhausted from the morning run-in I had with Riley and Macey.

  Needing space. I pressed for the elevator to open.

  Cillian quietly stood by my side.

  The feeling of uneasiness washed over me that was too easy. Why was Cillian not arguing? It was never this easy with Elijah. I was surprised to find Cillian wasn’t arguing till he was red in the face like my ex used to.

  As we stepped into the elevator, my eyes drifted to Cillian reaching for the keypad and pressing the button for his floor.

  “I need to change. Then I will take you home.” He said, gesturing to his pants. I nodded in silence and bent down to put my converse back on, looking at the puddle that had formed around his feet.

  Despite everything, he was still being nice to me.

  We stepped out of the elevator together, side by side. I happened to look up to see there was a lady standing by Cillian’s door.

  She was frail-looking. A petite lady, her features clouded with such sadness. The dark bags under her eyes were visible, even from our distance.

  Cillian was tapping away on his phone, I was sure he hadn’t noticed her.

  “Cillian” I whispered, turning to catch him looking up from his phone just long enough to catch my gaze.

  “There’s someone at your door,” I whispered even lower, as we got closer nudging my head towards the little lady that stood having heard us approaching - staring towards us.

  Cillian’s eyes darted up towards his door, suddenly stopping in his tracks.

  “Jessica” He turned his back on the stranger to face me “Go downstairs, directly across the road is a little Italian bistro. They sell the best coffee in town, order us some, please. I’ll be down soon.” He pulled out his wallet, thrusting it towards me.

  “Sure,” I said, peering around Cillian’s shoulder to take one last look at the lady wondering who she was.

  “Are you sure you don’t need me to stay?” I accepted the wallet, putting my stubbornness aside. He looked to be in need of comfort and not an argument.

  Cillian looked over his shoulder to the stranger then back to me, staring at me for a moment “I’ll be fine” He assured.

  I nodded. Prepared to wait until he was ready to talk like he did with me.

  I smiled “Cappuccinos it is then,”

  He leaned down and kissed me on the lips “This won’t take long,” He said, before turning and walking away towards his apartment door.

  I went in the opposite direction towards the elevator.

  Was she someone who worked for him? Why does she look so sad?

  When the doors opened to the elevator, there was a handful of people already in it. I stepped in, standing at the front waiting patiently for the doors to close.

  Clutching Cillian’s black leather wallet I looked down to open it, there were credit cards, lots of them! And lots of twenty-dollar bills and fifty dollar bills. However, what caught my eye was a creased photo of Cillian. I slowly pulled it out, admiring it. He couldn’t have been any older than early twenties’ in the photo. He was smiling, looking up at an older man with their arms draped around each other necks. Same bright dazzling sapphire blue eyes.

  It was such a beautiful photo Cillian looked so proud.

  The elevator dinging, startled me out of my thoughts. I made my way out to the foyer, holding the door opened for the small group of strangers behind me.

  Walking out to the sidewalk, the cool air hit me in waves. I scanned the buildings across the road. It wasn’t long before I pinpointed the bistro. I made my way across the road, pulling the door open to enter the small restaurant.

  There was a handful of people enjoying a light lunch. The strong stench of garlic smothered the room. I found a vacant table for two, close to the window. I picked up the drinks menu - to pass the time until someone came to my table.

  “Hello, what can I get you?” A mature voice asked softly.

  I looked up to the waiter, a middle-aged man with a mustache smiled at me.

  “Hi” I smiled back “Can I have two cappuccinos please?” I asked, placing the menu back down.

  “Of course. Do you like cake? We have honey layered cake special today,” He suggested, with broken English. It wasn’t fluent, but I managed to understand him.

  I smiled “Two slices of that as well, please.” Whenever there was cake there was a smile - that was my motto. The gentleman frowned at me in confusion, pointing towards the empty chair.

  “Oh, my boyfriend is on his way.” I smiled, having noticed he was curious to me ordering double.

  “Ahhh! Coming right up.” The man smiled, before walking towards the front of the shop where all the cakes were on display. I opened Cillian’s wallet again, taking the photo out, wanting to look at it once more. Smiling to myself, my finger traced over the creases the photo had formed from being kept tucked in his wallet for so long.

  About five minutes had passed before the waiter placed my order in front of me, I rushed to hide the photo against my chest, out of view.

  “Enjoy!” The sweet man said, nodding as he turned away to attend to the other customers.

  I placed the photo down next to the wallet and sipped my coffee, staring out the window to the passing strangers, going about their day.

  The day’s events played over and over in my head. A whole clusterfuck of events had unfolded in such a small amount of time. Causing me to fall out with my brother and best friend.

  Ten minutes or so must have passed.

  “That’s me and my dad.” Cillian’s voice had me turning abruptly, spilling some of his cappuccino over the table. He reached for his wallet first, before reaching down again for the worn photo, admiring it for a second before placing it into the inside pocket of his suit jacket. I noticed he had changed once again, into the only color of suit I’ve seen him wear.

  I placed my large mug down “I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to pry.” I stuttered, grabbing napkins to soak up the spilled coffee. Cillian pulled the chair in front of me out to join me.

  “It was taken in New York. When we went sightseeing, he had asked a stranger to take a photo of us. It’s one of my favorites, I carry it everywhere with me.” His eyes were bright and luminous when he spoke of his dad.

  We sat savoring our drinks, tucking into the massive slabs of cakes. I was curious as to what had happened back at his apartment with the stranger.

  “Are you okay?” I asked lightly.

  “Yeah” He replied lifting his mug savoring the frothy beverage.

  “Who was that lady, at your apartment?” I lifted my mug peering up at him, hoping he would open up to me.

  He took a deep b
reath in “She’s the woman who gave birth to me,” He said bluntly.

  I inched forward “Your mom! She’s your mom?” I asked, putting my mug down.

  “No Jess, she’s not my mother,” He avoided my gaze.

  “I don’t understand.” I leaned in closer to him, showing a willingness to listen.

  Cillian glanced out the window for a long moment before opening up to me. “She walked out on my father and me when I was five years old, it turned out motherhood was too hard for her.” His expression hardened, as he sipped some more of his cappuccino.

  “I’m sorry.” I reached my hand over onto his with an urge to comfort him. For a mother or any parent to walk out on their kids was despicable in my eyes.

  He looked at me, stroking his beard,

  “Why? I’m not, she did me a favor. My dad was a fantastic father, and he did very well raising me on his own.” He exclaimed “To earn the title mother would require her to have raised me and love me as mothers should” He added. He was bitter towards her that could only be expected.

  “Why is she here now? After all these years?” I asked, hoping I had not crossed the line.

  He raised his brows and shook his head “It’s not the first time. She’s been trying to get my attention for weeks now.” Pausing, he took a mouthful of cake.

  “What is she expecting from you?” I asked unsure if he would tell me to mind my own business. But he opened up a lot quicker than I had expected.

  “She wants to get to know me. To try and build some form of relationship!” Cillian exclaimed, he looked up and nodded to someone behind me. He lifted a napkin, wiping around his mouth. Knowing he was getting the check, I didn’t turn. Instead, I kept my eyes locked on him.

  “And you don’t want to?” I asked, trying to put the pieces together. He clammed up not saying anything. He pulled his hand away from mine and reached for his wallet pulling out a fifty - dollar bill, leaving a generous tip.

  “Cillian,” A male voice said. I looked up to see the same waiter that had brought me my order, leaning down whispering something to Cillian.

  “Thank you, Angelo,” He said, passing him money.

  Cillian’s eyes locked with mine.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked as I gulped the last of my coffee down.

  “The paparazzi are outside” He glanced at the front door “They must have been waiting or tipped off,” Like it was a normal thing that happened to everyone.

  “Wait, how would that waiter know they were here for you?” I curiously asked.

  “I have been coming here since I was a boy. My dad was fond of Angelo and his family; they always warned my dad if photographers were stalking outside.” He pushed his chair out, offering his hand to me. I reached out taking hold of his hand.

  “I brought the car over. It’s parked outside. Whatever you do, don’t let go of me.” He firmly held my hand, I walked a few paces behind him, gripping onto his suit jacket with my other hand, nervous as to what was about to happen.

  Angelo rushed to open the door for Cillian, offering only a nod as we left. Peeking around from behind Cillian, there was a large crowd of men, practically falling over one another to take photos of us. Cillian glanced behind, checking on me, keeping his arm extended out to avoid anyone coming too close to us, making his way forward.

  “Cillian who is she?” One shouted.

  “What’s your name?” A stranger asked. I turned to the voice that came from my side, not saying a word. Even in the daylight, the flashes from their cameras caught me off guard. I kept my hand up, blocking the flashes of their cameras. They crowded around us from all angles, making it harder for us to move at a reasonable pace to the car.

  “Back off guys!” Cillian’s tone somewhat angry sounding. We finally reached the car, Cillian urged me into the passenger seat. I quickly sat down, allowing him to close my door as I watched him rush around to get into the car. He offered nothing but a cold stare to the men who were eager to invade his space for a picture.

  “You okay?” Cillian asked, settling into the car. “Yeah,” I answered back, nervously looking at the multitude of bodies that surrounded us, before directing my stare back to Cillian, his expression softened as his hand reached my cheek. He leaned forward and kissed me, his lips so soft against mine. For a moment, I forgot we were being hounded by the paparazzi that had formed a perimeter around the car.

  As we pulled away from one another, the men continued trying to steal more shots.

  “They’re going to print that you know,” I said, putting my hand up to block them, suddenly feeling camera shy.

  “Let them” Cillian replied “We don’t need to hide anymore,” He added. He slowly started to drive forward, allowing the men time to move out his way.

  1

  SCANDALOUS PAST

  CHAPTER 14

  We arrived at Oval nightclub a little after midday. Cillian locked the doors behind us, giving us privacy from the paparazzi that had managed to follow us even after Cillian detoured around the city hoping to shake them from our trial.

  The club was closed until late, so we headed straight to his office. It was darkish, only the lights from the bar allowed us to follow our way to his upstairs office. Cillian punched in the code giving us access to his office. We both held on to the railings, different sides of the staircase, as we retreated up to his office.

  Cillian turned the lights on, the crystals from the chandlers caught the light, casting shapes all over the room. I slipped out of my denim jacket and draped it over the leather couch.

  “Sit down, Jessica,” Cillian ordered. I looked over at him not liking his tone.

  “Please,” He asked, softly.

  I relaxed on the couch pulling my legs around, Cillian sat down next to me, leaning in towards me. It was still so surreal. I smiled, realizing I had just gone and bagged myself one of the most eligible men in San Francisco.

  “If this is going to work, you need to know I will not stand for being bossed around Cillian!” Leaning my chin upon my arm, I waited for a reply.

  “I don’t want to control you, Jessica. I respect you too much to do that” He replied, his hand ran through my hair.

  “I can’t believe I’m dating Cillian Claremont! Do you know how long I’ve waited just to get you to notice me?” I chuckled, moving over wanting him to hold me.

  I relaxed into him as his hands held me tight.

  “I’ve always noticed you, Jess. I just didn’t know you felt the same, or I would have made my move a lot sooner,” He whispered into my ear.

  “Fate works in mysteries ways” I replied, as I rested on him, both of us needed only to hold each other. The sound of my phone ringing forced me to reach behind Cillian to grab my phone from my Denim jacket pocket.

  “Star Wars? Really” He chuckled at hearing my ringtone.

  “Yeah. I love those movies!” I stated, holding my phone in view of us both.

  “Unknown number,” I said, swiping the screen. I held my phone to my ear.

  “Hello?” Curious to know who it could be phoning me from an unknown number. I was sure it had to be Elijah but I didn’t want to tell Cillian for the fear of him telling my dad that my ex had found me.

  “Hello...” I repeated.

  Nothing, there was no voice on the other end, no background noise absolutely nothing. I hung up, placing my phone back in my jacket.

  “There’s no secret admirer you forgot to tell me about, is there?” Cillian asked playfully, teasing me.

  “Not that I know of. Probably just the wrong number.” Lying to him. I nuzzled into Cillian’s neck, smelling him, taking in every note of his aftershave.

  “Let’s go for lunch,” He blurted out, lifting me like a bride he stood with me in his arms.

  I groaned in protest “Do we have to?” I wanted to stay right there in his arms.

  Safe and secure.

  He released me from his grip, I stood staring up at him, sulking.

  He frowned “Don’t giv
e me that look. We are going for lunch and that’s that”

  “Urgh, fine” I rolled my eyes “There better be cake!” I moaned.

  There was a smile playing on his lips “Lunch then cake how does that sound?”

  I smiled. Caving to a lunch date.

  He grinned at me “It kinda turns me on when you’re being bratty”

  I shoved at him “That’s such a guy thing to say”.

  His low laugh had me smiling as we began to make our way out of the office. I realized I had forgotten my denim jacket. Cillian held the door, waiting patiently for me as I rushed back towards the couch.

  “Cillian, the paparazzi will just follow us again.” Exhaling loudly, I put my jacket on, and freed my hair.

  Our relationship was going to be photographed every step of the way, how does anyone cope with that type of attention let alone a new couple?

  “Let them; we can’t live our lives worrying about them taking pictures. After all, I bought a magazine so technically we could write anything we wanted.” He said “I want to take you on a lunch date. And nobody is going to stop me” He added, leading the way towards the exit.

  I followed behind.

  A date! Our first date.

  I couldn’t stop myself from smiling.

  We walked around to his car that was parked in the alleyway. There were no cameras in sight. No one jumped out trying to get a picture of us.

  “Maybe they got bored of waiting.” Cillian was quick to say, watching me as I looked around for movement.

  “Maybe,” I muttered, offering him a weak smile.

  Driving through the streets, we passed a ton of restaurants.

  After driving over the Golden Gate Bridge, we came to a little restaurant on the cliff just off the freeway.

  Tuckers the sign said, the writing was on large wooden panels. When I stepped out of the car, the smell of smoked meat had me licking my lips. Cillian came around, grasping my hand as he led the way to the small diner. He was much calmer, not a care in the world if anyone or everyone was watching us.