Worthy of Redemption

by L. D. Davis

“Lily,” I said, and then tried to extract my hand, but he held it firmly in his.

  “I have been admiring the beautiful artwork on your back,” he said with a smooth voice.

  He really was cute, for a rich preppy boy. Light hair, light eyes, and pretty teeth.

  “Thank you,” I said. I glanced over his shoulder and saw Kyle watching with narrowed eyes. I again tried to pull my hand away, but Trevor wasn’t having it.

  “I am curious though,” he said, leaning in a little closer. “Who is Anna?”

  “My daughter,” I said quietly. I was used to answering that question – it was bound to become a popular question when I got her name printed on my back, but I didn’t want to discuss it in front of Jess.

  “I see,” Trevor said. He didn’t seem to care that I had a daughter. Thankfully he didn’t linger on that. “I’ve never seen you at any of Grant’s functions before.”

  “I have never been to any of Grant’s functions before.”

  “Are you here with someone?” he asked, stepping in a little closer.

  “Trevor, you pig,” Jessyca smacked his arm. “She’s here with Kyle.”

  His hand immediately released mine, and not a moment too soon. Kyle suddenly appeared behind him. Though the men were roughly the same height, Kyle made Trevor cower and appear to be much smaller. Without another word or glance in my direction, Trevor retreated.

  “They’re about to serve dinner,” Kyle said, taking my hand into his. “I knew you shouldn’t have worn this damn dress.”

  “Are you suggesting that I am less attractive without the dress?” I asked him as we followed the crowd towards the dining area.

  “Don’t do that,” he warned. “You know what I mean. Every physical asset you have is put on display in this dress.”

  “I know, right?” I beamed. I gave his hand a little squeeze. “Baby, you’re not killing my glow.”

  His frown deepened, but he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it.

  Being ridiculously over protective, Kyle made Marco sit on the other side of me, but warned him to keep his hands to himself.

  “What if she touches me first?” Marco teased.

  Kyle scowled so deeply, I thought his face was going to break off of his head and fall into his soup bowl. I rubbed his arm and promised him I wouldn’t touch Marco – much. Marco and I laughed at his expression.

  Jess sat down across from Kyle. Grant was between them at the head of the table. He seemed to have kept the space open just for her. They smiled at each other, but not like a friend smiles at a friend. There seemed to be something a little deeper there, which bothered me. It made me believe she was going to use her position as Grant’s…whatever she was…to push her way into Kyle’s project. By the look exchanged between Marco and Kyle, I knew they thought the same thing.

  Through the soup and salad courses, all was calm from across the table. Jess only spoke about current events and her last vacation in Brazil. Kyle and Marco talked about soccer, which irked me because I was an American football kind of girl. When Marco was later distracted by the beautiful blonde on the other side of him, Kyle started whispering dirty things in my ear. I especially loved this playful side of Kyle. Some of the shit he was saying was ridiculous and had me giggling. It was probably a little rude at a table of fifty people, but no one seemed to care. I was glad that he was smiling and content, probably feeding off of my glow.

  When the soup bowls were removed, Jessyca thought it was a good opportunity to spark up some trouble.

  “So, tell us, Lily,” Jess said with her fake smile. “What do you do for a living?”

  Everyone within fifteen seats heard her ask the question. Though some carried on with their own conversations, many looked at me curiously.

  “I work at Sterling,” I said casually. My relationship with Kyle wasn’t a big secret anymore, but I knew that many people who knew Kyle had heard whispers about his secret affair with his personal assistant while he was with Jessyca. Kyle had warned me that it may come up, but most people wouldn’t dare broach the topic.

  “So, you do work for Kyle,” Grant said, with a confused expression.

  “Whether she works for me or not is insignificant,” Kyle said as politely as he could, which wasn’t easy.

  “Gosh, Kyle,” Jess laughed. “Maybe I should have worked for you. Perhaps our relationship would have fared better.”

  I heard a couple of small chuckles from further down the table.

  “I don’t think a miracle, wishes from a magic genie, prayers, or otherwise would have made our relationship fare any better.” Kyle said, taking my hand into his under the table.

  “I suppose not all things are meant to be,” she gave a small shrug. She tilted her glass of wine in our direction. “Here’s hoping Lily will never have to be in my shoes.”

  Our half of the table fell silent as they waited for a response from either me or Kyle. Well…they wanted a show…

  “Some of Emmy’s actions aren’t…preferable,” I spoke crisply, confidently. This bitch was not killing my glow. “But she is generous, kind, compassionate, and is not afraid to get her hands dirty. If I ever find myself in your shoes, Jessyca, it will be because I do not exude any of those fine qualities.”

  “I’ll drink to that,” Marco held up his glass and I clinked mine with his.

  Kyle’s face was still very serious, but his eyes burned with raw love and lust. If he could have gotten away with taking me on the table in front of everyone, he probably would have. I smiled at him as I saw Jess sulking out of the corner of my eye. I thought I had finally shut her up, but she found another button to push…

  “So, Lily,” she started again later after the third course came out.

  “Yes, Jessyca?” I responded as I cut my fork through my perfectly flaky piece of fish.

  “You have a daughter,” she said, with interest. “I overheard you say so to Trevor. Anna is the name…inked…on your back. How old is she?”

  Don’t’ shut down, don’t shut down, don’t shut down, I repeated in my head. Don’t show them where you are weak.

  “My daughter was born prematurely many years ago and died as a result,” I said, meeting her eyes.

  The woman across from me who had been eying me with dissatisfaction throughout the meal thus far softened.

  “That’s a terrible experience for anyone to go through,” she said, shaking her head.

  “It is,” I agreed.

  Even the snotty socialites that had been eyeballing me pretty hard seemed to know that this wasn’t a topic for dinner conversation. Smaller, different conversations seemed to grow out of the centerpieces. Marco immediately started a conversation with Grant about the building project. Kyle reluctantly joined in after I smiled at him to let him know I was still okay. Jess didn’t go away so easily though. She sat quietly for a little while, occasionally looking over in my direction. I thought she was actually sorry for being a bitch this time, but I was wrong.

  Her voice sliced through everyone’s conversations with her next question.

  “Is that why you slit your wrists open?” she asked. “Because…Anna died?”

  Hearing Anna’s name fall off the lips of that devil made me want to jump across the table and embed my heel in her face.

  “Even for you that is low,” Kyle snapped at her.

  “I was just making an observation,” she said casually. “Hard to miss the ugly scars on her arms. Since she isn’t hiding them, I figured she is okay with talking about it.”

  “Jessyca,” Grant looked at her with aggravation and maybe disgust.

  “It’s okay,” I said, smiling softly at Grant. “If you must know, Jessyca, my suicide attempt involved a multitude of circumstances. Is there any other deeply personal aspect of my life that you are interested in? Perhaps I can write it all down for you on a napkin and you can take it home and analyze it.”

  It drove her crazy that I not only managed to remain calm, but that people actually smiled in my di
rection afterward. She looked back to her meal, but before she could dig in again, Grant stood up, startling her as he took her by the elbow to make her stand, too.

  “Excuse us,” he said and ushered her out of the room.

  Kyle took my hand into both of his and leaned over to whisper in my ear.

  “When we get home, I’m going to take you out of that dress and make you glow enough to light the whole damn city.”

  I giggled and turned my head to meet his lips for a kiss that was very impolite for a high class society dinner.

  Later when we were getting ready to leave, I made a quick stop in the lady’s room. I was still on my glow, and I knew I’d be on fire by the end of the night. Just thinking about Kyle’s hands on my body made me grin to myself in the stall. I stepped out to wash my hands. I knew someone else was in the bathroom with me because I heard them come in. The door a few stalls down from mine opened and Jessyca stepped out.

  She walked directly to the sink two down from mine and began the process of washing her hands.

  “Dinner was delicious, don’t you think?” she asked.

  My god, does she ever shut the hell up? Well, she did when Grant returned with her later. She was silent for the rest of the meal, only speaking when spoken to, which wasn’t often.

  “It was good,” I agreed.

  “I guess you aren’t used to such elegant meals,” she said, taking a lipstick out of her bag.

  I didn’t bother answering her as I let my hair out of my clip and raked my fingers through it.

  “You know,” she said after touching up her lips. Now she was messing with her hair. “He will do one of two things to you, Lily. One, he will get bored with you and cheat on you; or two, he will become extremely obsessed with you and try to kill you when you want to end things.” She looked at me in the mirror with a sad, but smug expression. “Don’t think that your tattoos and piercings, and lower class status is going to make things any different for you.”

  I put my clip back into my bag. I put my bag down on the sink, careful to not put it in any sitting water. I closed the distance between us. She barely had time to cry out before I wrapped my hand around her neck and slammed her into the bathroom wall. She didn’t fight back, but her hands were on my hand as she stared at me with wide, startled eyes.

  “I am in a really good mood this evening,” I said calmly to her. “I look damn good in this dress, and Kyle thinks so, too. That’s why he bent me over his couch and fucked me until I was nearly delirious, and I’ve been glowing since that first orgasm hit me. You have been trying to kill my glow since you stuck your ugly hand in my face for a handshake. You’re not going to kill my glow tonight, but I will tell you this. Next time you speak my daughter’s name, speak poorly about Emmy, or share your opinion on my relationship with Kyle, I will light your little socialite ass up, and you’ll be glowing, too, but it won’t be like this,” I said, gesturing to myself with my free hand.

  I released her and then wiped my hand on her plain, green dress. “Nice dress,” I said, picking up my purse off of the sink. “Who made it?”

  I walked out of the bathroom before she could answer.

  Chapter Thirteen

  *~Kyle~*

  Mayson’s door was open. She looked up at me standing in the doorway and rolled her eyes.

  “If you’ve come to drag me into another piece of your drama, I’m not doing it this time,” she said.

  “No, there is no drama,” I said. “I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

  “Like what?” she asked skeptically, with one eyebrow perched.

  “Emmy.”

  She groaned and said “I should be telling you no and kicking your ass out that door, but I’m very curious about what it is that you want to discuss.”

  “May I come in?”

  She cringed. “Now you’re being polite. I’m really frightened.” She gestured for the chair in front of her desk.

  I closed the door behind me to block out any eavesdropping employees and took the seat in front of her cluttered desk.

  “I need you to be straight with me, Mayson,” I said.

  “Aren’t I always?” she asked.

  “Not when it comes to her.”

  She was quiet for a moment as she assessed me.

  “You haven’t asked me about Emmy in almost two years. I half expected you to bug me about her after she left this last time, but you didn’t. What has changed?”

  This wasn’t an easy thing for me to do, to talk to someone who so plainly hated me – and to talk to her about someone that she loved like a sister, someone I had hurt physically and emotionally.

  “I need to know what I did to her, Mayson,” I said.

  “Why do you need to know that?” she asked softly.

  “I feel like I need to know to move forward.”

  “With, Lily,” she said.

  “Yes.”

  She tapped a pencil on the desk. “I don’t see how that will help, but I only know what you know. Sam said Em looked like she got the shit kicked out of her, but I’m sure that does not adequately describe how she must have looked. You really don’t remember any of it?”

  I hesitated. I was about to get very personal. Only Lily was aware of my nightmares, but I felt like I had to tell Mayson. “I have nightmares of me hitting her, punching her and more. I hear her screams – they always sound the same. There are little snippets in my head of glass breaking, furniture crashing to the floor, but I never see her face…or her belly.”

  She blew out a long breath and sat back in her seat. She watched me as she gently rocked her chair back and forth.

  “Have you asked your dad?”

  “He enjoys holding back that information. I even offered to pay him for the information, but he is so evil, even money does not sway him. I even tried using…resources to find hospital or doctor’s records, but I can’t find anything about that night or the following days.”

  Her eyes widened. “You have people that can hack into hospital records?”

  I ran my hand through my hair, feeling slight discomfort talking so openly about this.

  “I do.”

  “Wow,” she blinked. “Makes me wonder what other interesting things you know…”

  “You really don’t want to know.”

  “Probably not,” she agreed grimly. “Well, anyway, she didn’t go to a hospital.”

  “Then how did she know if she and the baby were alright?” I questioned.

  “Your dad sent her to some doctor…umm,” she tapped a pencil to her head as she tried to recall a name.

  “Walter sent her to a doctor?” I asked, confused.

  “Yeah. Not in an office or anything, well not an official office. He’s like some kind of underground doctor, which is damn scary. He fixed her up without questions or documentation. Umm…Doctor Larson? No…Laken…”

  “Larkin,” I said darkly.

  “Yes!” she snapped her fingers. “That’s it. You know him then?”

  “Yes,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “You have no idea how much you have just helped me.”

  “I’m not sure if I actually helped you, Kyle,” she said doubtfully. “You should have moved on – Em has. Well…” she paused.

  “Well, what?” I asked, narrowing my eyes.

  “Well…no one has told her about Lily working here for you, or you and Lily as a couple, but I’m sure you knew that. Lily talks to her sometimes.”

  My scowl made her eyebrows rise in surprise. “You didn’t know that Lily speaks to Emmy? They talk like once or twice a month. Oh my god, I should just shut up now.”

  “Too late for that now,” I growled. “What do you mean that no one tells Emmy about me and Lily?”

  “Look, Lily and I agreed when she first started working here not to tell Emmy. Em had just left here. She didn’t say it to anyone, but it was obvious her last meeting with you was difficult. It hurt her to cut you off, but she did what was best for her and Lucas, and she really lov
es Luke. She requested that I not mention you, unless you die.”

  “How comforting,” I said dryly.

  “Take it as a sign of how strongly she felt about you,” Mayson said, in a somewhat comforting tone. “We all thought it was best that since she didn’t want to know what was going on with you that we don’t let you know what’s going on with her, but I have a feeling that you know at some things. Though it boggles my mind that you’re such a sneaky son of a bitch and didn’t know your own live-in girlfriend is talking to your ex-girlfriend.”

  “I trust Lily. I don’t feel I need to check up on her like that. I keep tabs on her whereabouts for her own safety, but I don’t check her phone or phone records.”

  “Don’t start,” Mayson said, pointing at me with a pencil.

  “I won’t.”

  “And don’t bug her about Emmy, please? You know what? We can pretend this little meeting never happened.”

  “I planned on asking you to do the same,” I sighed and got to my feet.

  “Cool. Look at that, Sterling. We’re on the same page.”

  I had my hand on the doorknob, but I turned back around to look at Mayson.

  “This is the most civil conversation we have ever had,” I said.

  “It was almost normal,” she agreed. “Except with your little stalking things…that’s creepy.”

  “Why are you being so…amicable?”

  She sighed, and even though her features were relaxed, they softened even further. “When I was a teenager, I had a serious eating disorder and a serious drug and alcohol problem. I beat up my mom and I pushed my father into an early grave. In a way, I’ve been in your shoes. I redeemed myself, and I think you have, too. We aren’t always going to get along, and it isn’t my place to forgive you, but I personally don’t want to keep punishing you for what you did to Emmy.”

  “Thank you,” I said after a moment of shocked silence. “Does this mean we can be friends now?”

  “Hell no. Get out of my office. Some of us do real work around here.” She pointed to the door with her pencil and waved me out.

  I left Mayson’s office armed with new knowledge that was either going to benefit me or throw everything to shit.