Broken Bear: Unleashed Passion

by Stella Bryce

  He watched her eyes and nodded. She didn’t want to hurt him. She was here to help. Lily filled the small cup a second time and helped him drink. His hands were still restrained. She knew he could break through the restraints if he wanted to; she’d seen him do it before. He had strength she’d never seen, and she’d witnessed a lot in her days as a nurse. It was his spirit that was broken.

  “How are you feeling?” She didn’t know if he would actually answer. He rarely did.

  Phoenix looked away from her, making it clear he wasn’t ready to speak. He didn’t want use harsh language with her, and at this point he was afraid that was all that would come out of his mouth. He wasn’t angry with her; he was angry with himself and the entire world, but not his angel. She was the one who soothed him for some reason. She quietly sat by. Being there was enough. He felt better when he saw her sitting in the corner of the room, quietly reading. She didn’t demand answers, she didn’t ask him to talk, she simply appeared by his side to watch over him.

  The ache grew from within as his clarity came back. The vision of his mother was fresh in his mind. It was too much. He wanted to be free of this living hell. Phoenix started to cry. He sobbed like a child, his body shaking as his mother’s face haunted him.

  Lily’s heart broke, shattering in two. She wanted to take away his pain, but there was nothing she could do. After a moment’s hesitation, she placed her hand on his shoulder. She wanted to comfort him, but didn’t know how. The vibration of his sobs shook his body as he released the pain.

  There was nothing to say; the struggle was inside. She had no words to comfort him and make it all better. Her eyes welled up with tears. She cried for him. She cried for his sorrow, and then cried for her own sorrows. Leaning forward, Lily gently hugged him. She placed a small kiss on his forehead. She stepped back and went to her chair to read. If he wanted to talk, she would be there for him.

  The pinched doctor saw the girl who visited him regularly. When she asked her relation to Phoenix, she had a scathing response on learning she was a nurse from the trauma center. As a professional, she knew better than to get attached. She shook her head with disapproval and told her it was a mistake to keep visiting.

  Lily said nothing, but continued to visit. Over time the doctor saw that he would only respond to this one girl. Nobody else came to see him, and he rarely spoke. When he did, he would only address Lily. He wanted nothing to do with the doctor.

  His being there wasted her time and the hospital’s money, but she couldn’t unleash him into the world. She didn’t know if he was dangerous. Until he was willing to talk to the doctor, the court order kept him in place.

  Chapter 5 - Phoenix

  Lily dozed off in the corner chair. When Phoenix spoke, she was startled out of her sleep. He didn’t mean to wake her like that, but he had something to say. He wanted to say it before he fell into another slumber.

  “Can you convince them to take off these restraints? I’m not going to hurt anybody.” He sounded like a broken man.

  “They’re worried you’ll hurt yourself, too.” She stood and rubbed the back of her forearm across her eyes. “Or that you’ll try to leave.” She hated telling him the truth, but honesty was the best choice right now.

  “Isn’t my word enough? I won’t hurt anyone. I won’t leave. I’m not going to hurt myself.” He sounded more like a boy than a man.

  “I can talk to them, but it would probably be best if you said that to the doctor.” Lily wanted to tell him it would be okay, but maybe that was a lie. She had no idea if he’d try to take off or hurt himself, and truth be told, she felt safer with him tied down. Or maybe she was afraid he’d leave her. She pushed the thought from her head. Truth was so overrated. Lily excused herself to get a cup of coffee.

  Phoenix wanted to shift into his bear and break free. He wanted to run in the meadow. He wanted to live his life. Instead, he was tied to a bed, left to relive the nightmares over and over again. He couldn’t shift if he wanted to. All the drugs running through his body were messing with his metabolism and thought processes. He felt stuck, caged in his man form.

  When his brother showed up, Phoenix didn’t know what to say. Carter leaned against the doorway and looked in. “They wouldn’t let me in to see you. I tried to visit earlier, but they locked you away. When they moved you to this hospital, I wasn’t informed. I only just found you. I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.”

  Phoenix watched his brother’s body language. “What are you doing here?”

  “They have you tied down.” Carter frowned. “Do you want me to get you out of here? I can fight this…and you know I can break you free.”

  “What’s the point?” He lowered his gaze. “My hell will follow me.”

  “Dad is having a hard time dealing with it all.” Carter looked away. He hated admitting his father begrudged him, but Carter understood it was an accident. He knew how much Phoenix loved their mother. He’d never intentionally cause her harm.

  “And you?” Phoenix dared Carter to answer truthfully.

  “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, losing her, but I don’t blame you. The police report said what I needed to know.” He drew a deep breath. “How are you doing?”

  “You need to ask?” Phoenix spit out. “They keep me tied up here, and my mind torments me constantly. I’m a caged beast.”

  Carter walked across the room. “When you’re ready to be set free, you say the word and I’ll undo this. But maybe while you’re here, talk to somebody. You can’t live with this trapped inside of you. The doctor says you won’t talk to her.”

  “I don’t trust her. I only talk to my angel.”

  “Your angel?” Carter arched an eyebrow, confused.

  “Lily. She’ll be here soon,” Phoenix reassured.

  Carter scratched his head. “Are you hallucinating, too? Phoenix, man, you need to get help while you can…”

  Lily came around the corner and through the door. “Oh, you have company.” She looked up at the large man, intimidating in size, and noticed how much he looked like Phoenix.

  Carter spun around. “And you are?”

  “Lily.” She stuck her hand out and introduced herself.

  “Ah, his angel. Got it. I’m Carter, Phoenix’s brother.”

  She didn’t know enough about Phoenix to know if his brother being here was a good thing or not. She said nothing else, and then took her spot in the corner chair. She slipped a book out of her tote bag and went back to reading in her usual post.

  Carter looked back and forth between them. He saw the ring on her finger. “Are you two married?” He scratched his head. “Did something happen that I don’t know about?”

  “No.” Phoenix never noticed the ring.

  The nurse covered her ring with her other hand, feeling funny. “It’s not like that. I was his nurse at the other hospital. I’m watching over him.”

  “Does your husband know?” Carter quizzed.

  Lily got up and left the room. She chose not to answer.

  “What the fuck was that?” Phoenix growled at Carter. “She’s the only one who has been here for me, day after day. She’s my angel. Go make it right. Bring her back, and then get the fuck out.” As his voice rose, the hospital attendants came rushing in.

  “What’s going on?” They were ready to sedate him if necessary.

  “Nothing. It’s fine, just a family tiff.”

  The attendant looked at the visitor. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave if you’re upsetting the patient.”

  “He has a name,” Carter growled.

  “Sir, you’ll need to back off or you’ll be asked to leave.”

  “I’m okay,” Phoenix said.

  The guard looked at the two brothers and left them with a stern warning.

  Carter read his brother’s face and went to fetch Lily, if it wasn’t too late. He turned and ran down the hallway. Phoenix heard a nurse calling out after his brother, “Sir, no running in the hallway.”
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br />   He almost ran past her. She was sitting quietly in the lounge. She caught his eye. Turning around, he went back to her.

  “Don’t judge. He needs me,” was all she said.

  “That’s what he said.” Carter didn’t like the idea of her being married, but decided to keep his mouth shut this time.

  “I need him just as much. I know you don’t understand. I’m not asking you to. I’m asking you to simply accept the situation as it is for now.”

  Carter nodded. Whatever helped his brother, he’d agree with.

  Chapter 6 Lily

  Lily collected herself and went back to Phoenix’s room. She wondered if he’d noticed her ring too. He never asked. She never said anything. It’s not like they were having an affair. She was simply sitting with him.

  The ring. That was a joke. Her marriage was a joke. She just wished she had the courage to leave. Truth be told, she was afraid of her husband. He’d never hit her, but he’d threatened to. He was verbally abusive, and shoved her a time or two. There was never any evidence, never any bruising. If she had evidence, she might have the courage. Then they could lock him up. For now, it was her word against his. And he made it clear that leaving him wasn’t an option. He’d track her down. He promised.

  Work was her safe place. She could forget her home life for a while. She could focus on her patients. And when she started spending extra time visiting Phoenix, she simply claimed she was putting in extra hours. He never questioned it. He didn’t like her all that much anyway. He just saw her as his property. He treated her that way, too.

  It wasn’t always like that, but after a couple of years, one bad moment turned into many. Now there were more bad moments than good ones. And yet, as powerful as Phoenix seemed to be in that one moment of tearing his restraints off the bed railings, she wasn’t afraid of him. She didn’t think he’d hurt her. He needed her. She was his angel.

  Lily found her place in the corner chair. She didn’t say anything. She waited for him.

  “I’m sorry,” he started. “He doesn’t understand.”

  Lily nodded. “It was an honest reaction. I am married.” She looked away.

  “I didn’t ask if you were.” It made no difference to him. “Can I ask you something?”

  She nodded again.

  “Why do you come visit me? You don’t know me. You don’t owe me anything.”

  She blushed. He was right. How could she explain that she felt safe around him, even though he was the one tied up and unable to move? How could she explain that she was drawn to sit with him so he wasn’t by himself? How could she explain that he was her salvation? That she needed a few moments to not feel unworthy, to not feel like she was a piece of trash as she was so often called…and that sitting quietly with him, she felt like she was helping him heal. She was his angel after all, and she took that quite seriously. “I’m just watching over you.”

  Phoenix watched her face. Her cheeks turned a shade of pink before she answered. She was embarrassed to be asked. He felt bad that he questioned her. He had one last question. He knew he shouldn’t ask, but he wanted to know the truth. “Does he know you’re here?”

  Lily looked away. “If you want me to leave…”

  “I don’t. I like when you’re here.”

  “I don’t want anything,” she quickly retorted. Her heart raced. Just sitting with him was enough.

  “I know.”

  “Good.” And just like that, the conversation was over. Lily picked up her book to read, and Phoenix stared at the wall until he was ready to sleep again.

  Chapter 7 Phoenix

  The uptight, pinched doctor made her usual rounds. She knew the man would have nothing to say, just like every other day, but she needed to make a notation on his state of mind. When he opened his mouth to speak, she was surprised.

  “Will you remove the restraints, please?” He was beaten down, broken. He had no fight left in him. “I just want to feel human.”

  She undid one of them, and watched his reaction. She saw relief wash across his face. “Are you ready to talk?”

  “I’m afraid to talk,” he admitted. “I’m afraid to keep reliving it all. It’s too painful.”

  The doctor’s brow furrowed. She didn’t expect this gentler man to speak, yet alone admit anything. “Healing isn’t easy, but you need to at least take the first step.”

  “I’ll try. But only if I can have my angel with me at the time.” He looked over at Lily, who was asleep in the corner chair.

  “It’s not something we generally do,” she started, “patient confidentiality and all.”

  “That’s my one condition. She is by my side.” She sat with him through all of the days he refused to talk or communicate in anyway. She made him feel safer, more relaxed.

  The doctor rolled her eyes behind her rimless glasses. “If it will get you talking, I’ll make an exception this one time.” He’d refused to talk for so long, there must be a reason he’s talking now, and if this nurse that visited him had anything to do with it, so be it. Maybe she’d be a key to his recovery. “I’ll make an appointment on my schedule for this time tomorrow. I’ll remove the other restraint, but if there’s any notation that you’ve gotten aggressive or are a danger to yourself…”

  “I’m not going to hurt anyone,” he sighed, “including myself.”

  Lily stirred and saw Phoenix sitting up in bed, watching her. He was sitting up! “Your restraints are off.”

  He gave a small smile. “I feel almost human.”

  “That’s wonderful.”

  “I have to ask you something. I told the doctor I’d talk to her tomorrow. Will you go with me?”

  “Oh, they won’t let me…it’s a patient-”

  He interrupted. “It’s already been approved. I didn’t think to ask you first. I shouldn’t have just assumed you’d be okay with it.”

  “Why do you want me there?” Lily questioned, watching him. He’d grown more comfortable around her.

  “I don’t know. I just feel better when you’re near me.”

  Lily smiled. “Good.”

  She might be a worthless piece of trash at home, but right here, sitting in the corner of Phoenix’s room, she was a healing soul helping a wounded man find his path. Everything felt right in the world when she sat beside his hospital bed. She belonged here, belonged to him. Her husband might have thought he owned her, but he didn’t. She belonged to Phoenix, heart and soul.

  When Lily didn’t show up the next day, he knew something was wrong.

  Chapter 8 Lily

  Sure, he’d pushed her before, but he’d never actually hit her. When he cracked her across the face and drug her across the room by her hair, she knew she had to get out, and fast. He found her pay stub, and the hours she’d been out of the house weren’t matching up. She should have had more overtime. He should have looked sooner.

  She’d learn her lesson. He knew she was scheduled for two days off, so he’d make sure she stayed home. Shoving her in the guest bedroom, he padlocked the door and left her to think about what she did. She wouldn’t lie to him again, the conniving bitch.

  Her cries for help were left unanswered. And living on a wooded lot on four acres, nobody heard her screams or pleas. She spent the first hour sobbing on the bed. The next hour, she realized she could break a window and climb out. She’d have to jump from the second floor, but the guest room was near the front porch. There would be a small roof she could try to land on. It was pitched, and she might roll off of it, but the state of frenzy her husband was in, she wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t come back in and do something much worse.

  She looked at what she’d have to do to get out. It was scarier than she pictured. There was a tree, but it was too far to jump to, and the roof was steeper from this angle looking out. Lily’s heart raced knowing her choices were few and far between.

  If she stayed, her husband might get even more violent and either end her life or tear her to pieces. He might beat or rape her. She honest
ly didn’t know what he was capable of at this point. She just knew she feared for her life. She needed to escape, and the sooner, the better.

  Ice ran through her veins when she saw him outside, looking up at her through the window. He had a ladder…and boards. He was going to cover her only exit. While he was outside, she ran for the door and shook it as hard as she could, terror plunging through her. This wasn’t an accident. He had plans. She wasn’t going to be going anywhere if he had it his way. The fact that he was coming to board up the windows gave her chills.

  Chapter 9 Phoenix

  She never showed up. Phoenix refused to talk to the doctor. How could he talk about himself when he knew something was wrong? His instincts spoke to him, his senses were heightened, and yet there was nothing he could do.

  Maybe she got called into work. Maybe he was over reacting. Maybe she decided she’d gotten in too deep. Maybe she was ill. Looking over at the empty chair, he felt an empty pit in his stomach. He’d wait for Lily; she’d be here. She was always here, either before or after work, and she said she’d be here for the appointment today. But she wasn’t. Something was wrong.

  He wanted to pace, but if he showed distress, they would misread his intentions and end up restraining him again. He couldn’t show anything. Keep it inside, old boy, keep it inside.

  Phoenix waited. She never came. Still he waited. He felt like a caged beast. He wanted out of there. He wanted to find her, and yet he had no idea where she was. Sure, his bear sense of smell was good, but it wasn’t that good. He wasn’t some kind of god damn super hero. He was simply a bear and a man…nothing more, nothing less. And his bear hadn’t been free in longer than he cared to admit. Being locked up in this hospital kept him subdued, and he wanted out. He needed to find her.