by Stella Bryce
“Yes.”
“What if he did it, so I could just sort of see what it means?” She still didn’t believe it was true. She heard the words, but her brain couldn’t make rhyme or reason of the entire thing.
“Jett?” Phoenix asked if he’d be willing.
“Yeah, sure.” He turned to Lily. “Even as a bear, I won’t hurt you. I’ll protect you. That’s my job. I keep most of my human thoughts when I’m in bear form.”
“Are you ready?” Phoenix looked at Lily.
“No, wait!” She panicked. “I don’t think I am.” She sat back down. If she saw it with her own eyes, would it forever change what she thought of these men? “You mean this? You’re not pulling my leg?”
Phoenix was dead serious. “Lily, it’s okay to be nervous. You just need to trust me. If you trust me, you’ll know I’d never let anything happen to you. I’m here. I’ll protect you.”
Lily’s heart wedged in her throat. “It’s just…I’ve never…”
“We don’t wear it on our sleeves,” he said. “And most of us stick to Mountain View Crest. That’s where you are now. You’re safe here.”
She’d heard of the town, but because it was a few over, never paid much attention to it. And with it being in another county, it rarely made her own news. Sure, rumors…but she figured it was a hoax. Or…maybe she pretended it wasn’t real because it was easier to accept.
“Are you ready?” He nudged her. “You need to understand my truth.”
“I’m scared,” she whispered.
“I know, baby. But you have nothing to be afraid of. Jett is your protector, the same way that I am.” He stroked his hand through her hair. “It’s going to be okay.”
She nodded.
“Jett,” Phoenix said, and then asked him to show his bear.
Lily scrunched up her face and squinted her eyes, as if she was watching a scary movie, almost afraid to see what was about to happen. Phoenix wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. She felt better in his arms.
As Jett slid from his human form to his bear from, his body hair changed to a thicker, denser fur, his nose elongated, his teeth took shape as they lengthened, and his entire body filled in as he dropped down to all fours.
Lily couldn’t breathe. All the air rushed out of her lungs. She started to hyperventilate. A real(,) live bear stood in the room before her. A bear that used to be a man. A man that guarded her first at the hospital and now here. And he said Hunter was one, too. A man that was in her hospital room night and day. Lily’s entire body slumped into Phoenix’s arms as she fainted.
Chapter 21 Phoenix
He felt Lily’s body go limp in his arms. Shit.
“Do you think it was too much, too soon?” Jett asked.
“She has to know.” He turned as she slowly stirred.
“Did…did that just happen?” She could barely speak. She looked around the room quickly. Jett was a man. She was hallucinating. Sure, Phoenix said something, but…Phoenix stared at her.
“Are you okay?” He knelt beside her, his hand stroking her hair. “You’re safe.”
She looked at the men and slowly sat upright. “What just happened?” She saw it with her own two eyes, but she almost didn’t believe it.
Phoenix stood and shoved his hands into his jean pockets. “You need to know. If you’re going to be a part of my world, you need to know my truth.”
“No. No. I’m not in love with some animal. You’re a man. I can see you with my own two eyes. How is this even possible?” She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “I’ve seen you.” She hesitated for a moment. “I’ve seen all of you. When you tore off your hospital gown…you were all man.”
Phoenix closed his eyes. “Lily, when I was broken, I was too weak to transform. The night I left the hospital, I crashed through a window. I’d finally been able to let my bear come out. I wouldn’t have had that much strength as a man.”
“That’s not true. You’re big, you’re strong. You’re built like an ox.” She wanted to make excuses. It was so much easier. Easier than believing he was some mutated person.
“I’m sorry I had to ruin the illusion. There’s more to me than you’ve seen with your eyes.” He hated to do this, but he needed to show her. He was afraid she’d never look at him the same way again— with adoration and love, with longing and hope for a future together, and with a full heart.
Phoenix let his face start to turn, his nose elongating…his teeth…
“Stop! Don’t do it!” She was crying. “I can’t. I can’t see this.” Terror filled her veins.
Phoenix’s heart broke seeing the look in her eyes. She looked at him like he was a freak of nature, not like the man she’d fallen in love with. He knew this might happen, but it was a chance he had to take. She would no longer be his. It was obvious by her expression. Horror laced with confusion slid across her face.
“I’m sorry.” He sat down, feeling like a beaten man. She would be leaving. There was no way she could stay. She could barely look at him. Just moments before, love poured from those very same eyes. Now all that was left was shock.
“I’m scared,” she choked out. “I want to love you. I do love you, but…” she couldn’t say the words. They were too painful.
He looked away. And just like that, the woman he wanted to build his entire life around had shut him down.
“I can’t do this.” She started to back away. “I can’t…I’m sorry. Phoenix, I’m confused.”
He nodded in understanding. “It was only fair that you know.” His heart slid into his stomach, crumbling into ash.
Lily’s body shook as she started to cry. “I don’t want to leave you. I don’t know what to do. I’m scared, Phoenix. You have to understand. This isn’t my world. This isn’t normal.”
She was pleading her case, not even sure why. She didn’t understand what it meant to be half bear, or what it meant to their relationship. She didn’t know when he’d be a man, when he’d be a bear. If he’d be a danger to her at any time. Even living in town would frighten her. There were other shifters nearby. He said Jett and Hunter were bears too. What if there were more? What about his brother? She remembered his large size and how much he resembled his brother. The entire thing overwhelmed her. Lost, she had no idea what to do. She didn’t want to leave the man she loved, and yet she didn’t want to be in love with an animal. It was weird, grotesque, wrong. Wasn’t it? None of it made sense.
Phoenix paced the floor. “I don’t know what else to tell you. All I know is that you came into my world. You changed my life. You saved me. You offered me salvation when all I wanted to do was die. I can’t imagine you not being in my life. You’ve become my heart and soul.”
His words washed over her. That was her Phoenix. That was her man. But what of his other half?
“Lily, please, consider giving this a chance. I know it’s not what you were expecting, but we can make it work. Plenty of families do. You just have to trust that nobody is here to hurt you. We’re not violent. We’re simply part of nature. It’s how we were made.”
He sounded so…rational. And yet, he was a fucking bear. He was part animal. How rational was that? Her head was spinning faster than she could keep up with. Her entire world came crashing down at her feet.
Chapter 22 Lily
Lily had nowhere else to go. She couldn’t go home. She didn’t ever want to go home again. She knew her husband was dead, but stepping foot back on the property terrified her. Her home no longer offered her comfort; it was simply part of a nightmare.
Lily wanted Phoenix to be who she thought he was, not who he truly was. She wanted the Phoenix she sat by, and the one who made her feel safe. She didn’t feel safe. She was scared. She didn’t believe he’d hurt her, but how could he not if he was a bear? He had claws and teeth. She shuddered and tried to push the thought away, but that’s hard to do when two large men were looking at her.
“I’m going to give you some time,” he said, pushing his hand t
hrough his hair. “Jett will be here with you. You’re safe.”
The very man that stood at her hospital door guarding her now left her feeling cagey. “Don’t leave,” she said in a panic. “What if he…turns into a bear?” She whispered the second part.
“We control when we change. It’s rare to just shift without thinking about it.” Phoenix paced before her. “Do you want me to go? Or do you want me to stay? I’m not really sure what would make you feel better. I know this is difficult, but you had to know, obviously. I had to tell you.”
“Don’t go,” she squeaked out. Truth be told, she felt safer with two bears than with one. That way if one turned, the other could help her if she needed to escape. The thought of a bear jaw crushing her thigh, or clawing at her throat…of blood…a chill went through her. She needed to leave this place. It wasn’t safe here. It wasn’t safe at home and it wasn’t safe here. She had no idea where to go.
Phoenix sat and watched Lily. “I love you. That hasn’t changed. You’ve become my entire world. I want to hold you in my arms and comfort you, and yet you look at me like I’m a monster. It’s breaking my heart, and yet how can I not understand?”
She couldn’t hide her twitchy fear. She never meant to hurt his feelings, but how did he expect her to react? This was huge. This was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. She still couldn’t grasp it was real. Yet it was. She kept repeating that over and over. This is real.
Walking away from Phoenix would be the hardest thing she ever had to do, though fear wouldn’t allow her to stay. There was no way she could get comfortable. There was no way she could be with him that way. Her heart plummeted to the floor. It was over. She knew she’d have to leave.
Chapter 23 Phoenix
Phoenix swallowed hard, trying to force the lump in his throat down. He had visions of making love to Lily, but when she walked out the door, he knew she wasn’t coming back. She was jumpy, afraid of him and Jett, and afraid of the town. This wasn’t her world. It was silly of him to think she’d accept it as if it was normal. He just hoped…
Suddenly she was back, banging at the door. “Let me in, please! Hurry, let me in!” Lily was in a full-fledged panic, and squealed with horror.
Phoenix flung the door open. She jumped into his arms, knowing she’d be safe there. He looked to see what had scared her. He shook his head. One of the neighbors knocked a massive bee hive down and was running around swatting at bees. He was trying to get a lick of honey, only he fell out of the tree with the bee hive. Phoenix closed the door as quickly as he saw the scene playing out. The last thing he needed was a bunch of bees getting in there.
“A bear…he fell right in front of me.” She was breathless, trying to relay what happened. “And then the bees were swarming. I didn’t know what to do. He was a few feet from me.”
Phoenix understood she was afraid, but couldn’t help but laugh. “Peter is always stirring up the bees. He’s got a passion for honey, but he likes it raw from the honeycomb.” He shook his head. “He never learns.”
“Peter? He has a name? It’s a bear…” she shot out.
“Peter is the mailman. He’s a shifter like the rest of us. When he’s delivering mail, he’s simply another human. When it comes to honeycombs, his mischievous bear comes out. He loves to climb trees, but he doesn’t have a very good grip.” He didn’t know how to explain it. “All he wanted was some raw honey. If he saw you, he’d simply wave and go back to the bee hive.”
Lily relaxed in his arms. None of this made any sense. It was like some surreal world. Some fantasy come to life. Like a weird dream. And yet, in Phoenix’s arms is where she belonged. She just didn’t know how to stay there. She was torn between fear and longing. How do you love a man that turns into a bear? What do you make him for breakfast? And…does he shed? It was truly the oddest thing. She had all these weird thoughts. Was having a bear like having a pet? And, what about her relationship? Was it only with his human? Would his bear go mate with other bears? Her stomach knotted at the thought of Phoenix, her Phoenix, with somebody else.
It was all too much. How could she love somebody she was afraid of? How would she get used to the fact that the man she loved was an animal as well as a person? Every time she tried to make sense of it, her thoughts overwhelmed her.
But with his arms wrapped around her, big and strong, and holding her close…something about it felt so right. Lily closed her eyes. Nothing in her life made sense anymore. Just a few short months ago she didn’t even know this man, and somehow he’d turned into her entire world. And yet, what did she really know about him? He rarely talked, he was a shifting bear, and he’d never even kissed her…until now.
He knew he should have waited. It wasn’t the right time. This wasn’t the way he wanted to do things, but here she was, wrapped up in his arms. She felt so good against him. She was soft and feminine, plump and curvy, and pressed to him. Even in the craziness of the moment, his libido went to work. He’d give about anything to see her naked, to curl up in bed, to hold her close, and to thrust deep into her as she called out his name in pleasure.
It wasn’t the right time, but there may be no other time if she walked away. Phoenix lowered his head, his lips barely an inch away from Lily’s lips. Her hot breath met his. Their eyes met. Nothing else mattered. He couldn’t hear anything. He couldn’t think. He could only react to the woman in his arms. Phoenix brushed his lips to Lily’s. As her mouth parted and accepted him in, he knew everything would be okay.
Chapter 24 Lily
His kiss. His sweet, wonderful kiss. Lily couldn’t think clearly. Her heart melted. She couldn’t ask for anything more. His mouth was wet and warm, his lips soft and gentle. There was longing and desire in his kiss. He wanted more. She didn’t know how much she could give him, not knowing he was part bear, but his kiss… she could happily get lost in his kiss forever.
Lily was confused. Not knowing enough about shifters, how could she not be nervous? And yet, he never once scared her when she sat by his side at the hospital. They’d bonded, grown dependent on one another, and now here she was, questioning everything she thought she knew.
What if she didn’t run away out of fear? What if she stayed? What did she have to lose? Life would be empty without Phoenix. He gave her a sense of security that she’d never known. He wouldn’t hurt her; she truly believed that. But no matter how many times her head circled around the idea of him being part bear, her heart raced and anxiety twisted inside.
People are afraid of bears. Bears can hurt you. It’s not…natural to love some half-breed, part-man, part-animal. It’s just weird. Yet, Phoenix never hurt her. Her husband did. He was a human. It didn’t really matter. Humans could be just as dangerous. If only her mind would stop churning…
His lips were on hers. Her mind slowed down. Phoenix kissed her again.
Lily lost sight of anything else. All those times she sat by his side. All those moments she’d pictured being in his arms. And here she was. It was even more amazing than she could have imagined. She hoped he’d never stop.
Jett coughed, gently reminding them he was still there.
Phoenix looked over his shoulder at his friend. “Oh, right. Sorry. You can leave early today. We’ll catch you tomorrow. Thanks, as always.”
Jett looked at Lily. “Are you going to be okay if I leave?” He knew she was used to him being near her now. He wanted to make sure she’d be comfortable, being alone with Phoenix.
She looked at the bodyguard and nodded. “I’m okay, thank you.” She tilted her head up and looked at Phoenix again. “I’m safe, right?”
“As safe as you’ll ever be. I’m here, and I’ll protect you with my life. I mean that.” He stared intently in her eyes. “You’ve become so important to me. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” He stroked his hand through her hair.
She knew it was the truth. There was so much to understand, so much to absorb. When he kissed her, she knew he was all man, yet how could she ignore the
fact that he was a bear? She looked away and found her courage before continuing. “And when you’re a bear? Will I be safe then?”
“I’ll be man most of the time, but if my bear should come out, which I have control of, it would protect you the same way. My human thoughts stay with me in bear form, and my human loves you. That means my bear loves you, too. I’m explaining them to you as if they were separate, but they are one in the same, Lily. My bear, my human…it’s all one. It’s me.”
“I’ve…I’ve heard about them, but…” she stopped. Talking about all of it caused her stomach to knot up. She needed time to get used to the idea. It wasn’t something she took lightly. On the other hand, Phoenix had become her world. If she left, there was nothing for her anywhere else. Everything she wanted, knew, and loved…he stood before her. In a short time, he’d become her entire focus.
Jett excused himself and said his good-byes. The couple sat down to talk. Phoenix knew she needed time. He didn’t want to rush her into anything. The idea of making sweet love to her was overwhelming, but only when she was ready. She still had fear, and that was no way to seduce a woman. When she was ready…and not a moment sooner.
The biggest challenge was knowing that the red moon would be rising soon. He knew his primal urges would come out, but he’d need to control them. He had no idea how at this point. His animal instincts would push him to mate. It was only a few weeks out. And a full moon was coming, too. The push would be strong, but still not as strong as the red moon. He’d figure out how to handle it when the time came.
Lily sat with her hands in Phoenix’s. His massive fingers and hands dwarfed hers. Shifting, she leaned into him. He lifted his arm to accommodate her. Lily liked being in the nook of his arm, her head against his chest. She felt safe and warm near him. The bear talk made her nervous, but it was hard to put in perspective when she’d only known him as a man.
When Jett did that thing earlier…it was as if her mind couldn’t grasp it as reality. She wasn’t sure how to convince herself this was a very real concept and not just a fantasy. And Peter, the mailman… he was a bear? And yet, he was a man. Was everybody in town like that? And Phoenix’s brother and friends…the bodyguards…and wow, they were probably like that as kids, too. Her mind swam in circles. Better to push it out of her brain for now. It was too overwhelming.
