by Linda Ford
Sadie chuckled.
Beth looked up and followed the direction of Sadie’s glance. She half rose, then settled back down, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.
Jeannie lifted the hammer and whacked it, though there didn’t appear to be much power in her blow.
Beth laughed. “The hammer is too heavy, but she’ll never give up. She’s always been a determined one.”
Sadie’s insides filled with candy-sweet enjoyment of Beth.
Beth sobered. “Ma used to say it was up to us to protect Jeannie. She said she’d run headlong into danger and never give it a thought.” Beth lowered her head but not before Sadie saw her eyes glisten.
“And you’ve done exactly as your mother would want,” she said with gentle firmness.
“I hope so.” Beth sighed and touched the pink petals of a rose Sadie had dried before she left Saint Louis. “Mama’s favorite flower was the rose.”
“Then you must use those petals and make a picture in remembrance of her.”
“Can I? You don’t mind?” Beth looked at Sadie with such yearning that Sadie squeezed her shoulder.
“I’d be pleased if you did.”
Slowly, almost fearfully, Beth lifted one pink petal and placed it upon the canvas Sadie had given her.
“Put things where you think you’d like them, then glue them.” She had found a special glue that didn’t darken the petals.
Beth placed petals here and there. She chose different flowers. And as she worked, she began to talk almost as if she didn’t realize she did so. “Mama said the first thing she was going to do when we got us a nice place to live was plant a rosebush. She said her own mama had a lovely rosebush on either side of the doorway.” Beth’s hands grew idle. “I feel bad that Mama never got to plant her rosebush.”
“I hope you get a chance to plant one for her.”
Beth looked up, her eyes searching the distance. With a tiny sigh she bent over the picture again. “I might. When I grow up.”
Sadie could not miss the hopeless note in Beth’s words, as if she wondered if that time would ever come. A shiver snaked across Sadie’s shoulders. Whatever secret these children were hiding, it carried more than a hint of danger and despair. Sadie would like to see the children in a place where they didn’t have to fear what lay ahead.
“I think she’d like that.” Sadie turned her attention to her own picture, intending to create one showcasing the wildflowers and leaves of Montana.
Beth tipped her head back and forth and studied the arrangement of her flowers. “Did you say I could write something on the canvas?”
“Yes. I’ve done Bible verses and little sayings. Or even a word. You can practice on a piece of paper if you like.” She indicated the little store of paper she kept in the box of supplies.
Beth found a piece she liked and sat with the end of a pencil pressed to her lips. After a bit, she carefully printed the words, Mama, I miss you. “Is this okay?”
Tears clogged Sadie’s throat. She swallowed them back. To think of the sadness these children carried with them. “Oh Beth, I’m so sorry.” She sat next to Beth and gave her a sideways hug.
Beth leaned against Sadie, her breathing rough. After a second, she straightened. “It’s okay. Mama knew she was dying and told me what it would be like. I miss her, but I have Sammy and Jeannie to think about and take care of.” Her voice hardened. “I look after them as best I can.”
“Your mother would be so proud of you and so am I.”
“You?” Beth’s gaze sought Sadie’s. “Why do you care?”
Sadie couldn’t very well say because she knew what it was like to be abandoned by one’s parents. Not that Beth’s parents had abandoned her. At least not her mother. For a moment she wasn’t sure what to say. “If I ever had children of my own I would want them to be just like you and Sammy and Jeannie.” It was the truth. And the impossibility of it about ate up her insides with sorrow. She touched Beth’s cheek, and when Beth didn’t shy away, Sadie’s throat again clogged.
They studied each other for a moment. Sadie knew she saw longing and fledgling trust in Beth’s eyes. Perhaps soon there would come a time when the girl trusted her enough to tell her the secret she and Sammy shared.
They returned to making pictures. Sadie gave a few pointers on centering the words on the canvas and getting them all the same size. Beth was meticulously careful.
“I want something Mama would be proud of.”
Sadie blinked back the tears that were so close to the surface that afternoon. “You’re doing an excellent job. I couldn’t do better myself.”
Beth smiled at her. “Thanks.”
Thanks to you for having such a beautiful heart. Perhaps someday she would feel free to say the words aloud but not yet. Their relationship was still too fragile.
An excited cry from outside drew their attention to Logan and the other children.
With help from Logan’s uncle George, two poles had been dropped into the holes Sammy had helped dig. The two poles were joined by thick piece of wood, from which hung two lengths of rope. The two men, with two children assisting them, tamped dirt around the posts, then nailed braces on either side of the poles to stabilize them.
“A swing,” Sammy cheered. “Can I try it?”
Logan glanced toward the door. “I think this calls for a celebration. Come on out, you two.”
Beth didn’t need a second invitation and was out the door ahead of Sadie, who followed almost as eagerly. Seeing playground equipment, if only one swing, gave Sadie reason to think she would soon be teaching the children in a proper classroom with a proper play area.
And she’d be able to keep an eye on Beth and Jeannie while teaching.
Her footsteps slowed. Her throat tightened. It would also mean Logan would no longer have any reason to be in town. Hadn’t he said he was anxious to be done so he could join his father and brothers out chasing after cows? Or something like that.
It was what she’d expected from the beginning, and if she hoped to protect her fickle heart it couldn’t happen too soon.
Jeannie jumped up and down. “I wanna swing.”
Logan caught the child and lifted her to one hip. His gaze captured Sadie’s and she forgot every other thought at the way he smiled at her as he said, “Behold! The first piece for the playground.”
She grinned, almost as excited as the children. “It’s lovely.”
“I couldn’t have done it without help.”
Sammy’s chest expanded several sizes at the acknowledgment. “I did good. Right?”
“You and Jeannie both did good. And I expect Beth was doing just as good helping Miss Sadie.”
“She’s an excellent help,” Sadie said, draping her arm across Beth’s shoulders.
Beth flashed a shy smile and ducked her head.
Pleasure as sweet as honey filled Sadie. The children were growing more and more at ease around her and Logan. She found Logan’s eyes again and shared a promise-filled glance at Logan.
Promise of what?
She too ducked her head. There existed only one promise she could make to herself and that was to guard the truth about what she was. Perhaps she was more like the children than she cared to admit. The thought troubled her. Were they hiding a past as shameful and hurtful as hers?
Sammy had been fidgeting from one foot to the other and could contain his excitement no longer. “Are you going to get to use the swing?”
Logan put Jeannie on her feet, keeping hold of one hand. He reached his other hand toward Sadie. “Let’s hold hands and make a circle around the swing,” he said.
Knowing she should refuse to take it, she nevertheless lifted her hand and slipped it into his grasp.
She reached for Beth, who took Sammy’s, and he took Jeannie’s. They stood around the swing.
“Why we doing this?” Sammy asked.
Logan gave a deep-throated chuckle. “So I can hold Miss Sadie’s hand.”
Her cheeks b
urned. She would have jerked her hand free, but he squeezed it, making it impossible.
“Aw, that’s yucky,” Sammy said with a great deal of disgust.
“I’m joshing.” Logan grinned at Sadie. “But that pink sure looks good on you.”
She looked anywhere but at him. Somehow she managed to find her voice. “I know that isn’t the reason. So why are we standing like this?”
He half sobered, though the mischief in his eyes remained as strong as ever. “Didn’t I say we should have a celebration?”
“Sure hope you don’t think we’re going to dance around like a Maypole dance.” Sammy sounded so disgusted that Logan chortled.
“Hey, that’s a mighty fine idea.” Logan paused. “Unless someone has a better one.”
“I think we should take turns trying it out,” Sammy said somewhat emphatically.
“We used to have a swing,” Beth said. “Mama said it was the best sort of fun. She said a person could dream of all sorts of wonderful things as they were flying through the air. Maybe we could think about Mama for a moment.”
It was the longest speech Beth had made and everyone silently agreed.
Sadie couldn’t guess what the others thought in that moment of silence as she thanked God that she had found these children before it was too late. Please help me keep them safe. Help us discover the truth about their father.
Logan smiled at each one. “Let’s thank God for allowing us this little pleasure.” He bowed his head and offered a simple prayer both of thanks and blessing. “Amen.”
“Now can we swing?” Sammy asked. At his question the children let go of one another’s hands and clustered around the upright poles.
“Yes. But why don’t we let Beth go first?” Logan said.
Beth shook her head and moved away from the swing. She turned from the others.
Sadie went to her side and cupped her hand over Beth’s shoulder. She knew the girl was finding the moment too emotional. “It’s okay. We’ll let the others go first.”
Beth nodded.
Sammy climbed to the swing seat. “Logan, push me.”
Sadie turned to watch the pair.
“Higher. Higher. I’m flying.” Sammy laughed and laughed.
“My turn. My turn.” Jeannie waited at one side.
Sammy slowed and got off. Jeannie got on and Logan pushed her.
The little girl laughed. “This is fun.”
After a bit, she got off.
“Who’s next?” Sammy looked at his big sister, but Beth shook her head. “Teacher then.”
“Me?” Sadie had not thought she’d have a turn. “Oh, I don’t think so.”
“Come on. It’s fun.” Sammy grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the swing.
“It’s fun.” Logan’s voice teased and tempted at the same time. “You’ll like it.”
“Seems to me I’ve heard that before.” But she dismissed the dark memory of that man’s words. They had no place on a day like this, and she allowed herself to be pulled forward and sat on the seat, tucking her skirts under her to keep them under control.
Before she could think to ask him not to, Logan gave her a push. She soared upward, the air brushing her face, erasing all her arguments and blowing away all her worries. She dipped backward. Her hair tore free of the pins and billowed around her face. Logan pushed on her back again, his hands warm and firm. As she arched upward again laughter pushed from her. Joy raced into her heart.
Up and back, with Logan keeping her swinging high. Her laughter rang out with each upward sweep, cleansing and renewing her like nothing she’d ever before experienced.
Then it was time to return to earth. “Enough,” she said, and slowed. She got off. “That was fun. Thanks.” She couldn’t look at Logan, instead brushing her skirts with her fingers and re-pinning her hair.
“Your turn.” Sammy grabbed Logan’s hand and pulled him to the swing seat.
“I don’t know—”
“It will be fun. You’ll enjoy it.” Sadie repeated his words to him and had the satisfaction of seeing him roll his eyes. She laughed from pure joy.
He sat down. “Who is going to push me?”
“I will.” Sammy pushed and grunted. He pulled and pushed but managed to get Logan to move only a few inches. “You sure do weigh a lot.”
Sadie covered her mouth, barely able to contain her mirth. It brimmed from her eyes and puffed out her cheeks.
Logan gave her a stern look. “I can’t help it if I’m big. Blame my father and my grandfather.”
“Teacher, Beth, help me.”
Sadie grabbed Beth and pulled her to Sammy’s side. This was too much fun for any of them to miss out. Jeannie stayed at the side at Sadie’s request. Sadie grabbed the ropes on either side of Logan. “Each of you grab down by the seat and, at my count, let’s pull him back.” They did so. “Now on three. One, two, three.” They backed up, pulling Logan as far as they could and they pushed him as they released him. He added his own push and came back with a whoosh.
Sadie and the others stepped out of his way as he pumped higher.
A chuckle rumbled from his mouth. “This is fun. I haven’t swung since I was little.”
“I guess that was a long time ago,” Sammy said with so much disgust Sadie burst out laughing. Even Beth covered her mouth, vainly trying to contain her mirth.
“You saying I’m too big?” Logan planted his feet on the ground and came to a halt. In a movement so swift none of them had time to react, he grabbed Sammy and started tickling him. “Am I too big?”
“Yes.” Sammy giggled and squirmed.
Logan tickled his armpits, his sides and under his chin as Sammy squealed.
“Am I still too big?”
“Yes.” Sammy barely got the word out between his laughing and squealing.
More tickling and giggling and squirming. “Am I still too big?”
“Yes.” The word was so breathless Sadie wondered if Sammy could get in enough air.
Logan stuck Sammy’s head under one arm and let the boy squirm, trying to get free.
“Okay, you’re not too big,” Sammy said.
Logan released him and the two of them grinned at each other.
“That was fun,” Sammy said.
“Anytime.” Logan faced the rest of them. “Anyone else care to tell me I’m too big?”
“Me. Me.” Jeannie wrapped her arms about his leg.
He swung her into the air and tickled her so gently that Sadie’s eyes stung. He turned and his eyes met Sadie’s, and he stopped playing with Jeannie and shifted her to one hip. The look between Sadie and Logan went on and on until nothing else existed but the two of them. Nothing else mattered but the hope of the future. Perhaps one—
Beth mumbled something about “just like him.” She rushed past them to the house.
Sadie stared after her, too shocked to think.
“What was that all about?” Logan asked, his eyes filled with disbelief.
Sadie shrugged and waggled her hands.
Sammy retreated to the stack of lumber, his expression watchful.
Logan looked from Sammy to the little girl in his arms, now clinging to him, a tear resting on her eyelashes.
“I’ll go see what’s wrong.” Sadie hurried to the house.
Beth lay facedown on the bed. Sadie wondered if she cried but, after watching a moment, could detect no rising and falling of her back or hear any sobs. She sat on the side of the bed. Beth shifted away. Sadie tried not to let the action hurt.
“Beth, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing.”
“Something must have bothered you to send you running to the house.” She ached to comfort the girl, hug her and assure her everything would be okay. She knew Beth would not accept it.
Beth sat up on the other side of the bed. “Well, if you must know. It’s too soon.”
“Too soon for what?”
Beth got up and marched from the room without answering.
Sadie stared at the floor. Too soon? Did she mean to enjoy fun after their mother’s death? From what Sadie knew it had been only a few weeks. Or was it a few months? The information was so mixed up. Did she feel they should mourn longer?
Or did she refer to something else entirely?
If only Beth would tell her, but Sadie knew she wouldn’t.
She left Beth staring out the window and went outside to join Logan. They moved away from where the two younger children played together at the swing.
“What’s wrong?”
She told him what Beth had said.
“What does that mean?”
“I hoped you would have some idea.” She told him what she had thought it meant.
“But why all of a sudden? It isn’t like we haven’t played with the children already.”
“I know and I thought we’d made some progress this afternoon.” She told him how Beth had opened up as they’d made flower pictures. “Maybe talking about her mother brought the pain all back.”
“These children have been through so much. I wish I could track down the father and get things sorted out for them. They deserve to know where they belong.”
“And feel safe,” Sadie added. She waited, wondering if he would argue that family provided a safe place. Surely not something he could truly believe was always the case after seeing Sammy’s back.
“Agreed.” His gaze caught hers and held it so firmly she couldn’t look away. At the way he regarded her, the strength and goodness she saw in him and knew existed, her heart lightened. He lifted a hand to her cheek and brushed his fingers along the side of her face. “We will work together to make sure these children are safe.”
She leaned into his hand. Beth’s words reverberated inside her head. Too soon. Slowly she turned her head, forcing him to pull his hand back even though it was the hardest thing she had done in some time. She stifled an urge to run to the house as Beth had done and throw herself across the bed.
Not only was it too soon now to think about opening up her heart to him.
It would always be too soon.
Chapter Nine
Logan rode toward home. Sadie hadn’t invited him to join them for supper. He told himself that was okay. After all, she had laundry to finish, perhaps ironing to do. She had the children to care for. Saturday-night baths.
