by Linda Ford
He would have helped her if she had asked.
How had the day gone from bad to good to bad again? When he’d returned from Wolf Hollow and told Sadie his disappointing news, he felt the two of them were finally united in what they wanted for the children—safety and security. The feeling had grown by huge leaps when they had gathered around the swing. It had wavered a bit when Beth raced off, but when Sadie returned and looked like she might melt into his arms he thought the day couldn’t get any better if it had rained pennies from heaven.
Then she’d stiffened and it seemed she might run to the house just as Beth had done.
Beth’s words banged around inside his head. Too soon. Was he guilty of expecting too much too soon?
Which raised a question he could not answer. What did he expect?
He was almost home and sat on the knoll overlooking the ranch, studying the place. Home. Family. The words ran round inside his head like panicked calves. He shook off the confusion and galloped the last few yards to the barn.
Conner glanced up at his approach. “Someone trying to catch you?”
Logan swung down from his horse. “Nope. Just anxious to be home.”
“Little hard to believe that when you find every excuse to be away. You spending all your time with that little schoolteacher?”
Logan unsaddled Brewster as he considered his answer. “I’m not gone all the time. Besides, I’m only trying to get the schoolhouse finished as quickly as possible.” He waited a second, then added hastily, “And find Mr. Weiss so the children can be reunited with their father.”
Conner leaned against the nearest post, watching.
Logan knew his brother had something to say and would say it in his own good time. He began to brush his horse down.
Conner sighed. “Doesn’t it seem like the man would be looking for his kids, not the other way around?”
Logan straightened and stretched his neck muscles. “Unless the man is injured, being held hostage, or any number of things.”
“Like dead?”
“Yeah, that’s one possibility.” He told Conner what he’d found out at Wolf Hollow.
“If the man is dead, what happens to the children? Won’t the authorities find relatives? Or put them in an orphanage?”
“You think that would be better than leaving them with Sadie?” He hadn’t meant to sound so defensive, but Conner had pointed his finger on the very thought that had been plaguing Logan. If he found out for certain Mr. Weiss was dead, what then? Sadie would never forgive him if he had any part in taking the children away. And he couldn’t blame her.
“Nope. But don’t suppose my opinion counts a whole lot.”
“Well, Jesse is the sheriff and he’s practically family. Wouldn’t we be able to make him see the children are better off with Sadie than moved to—” He lifted one hand in a gesture of frustration. “Anywhere.”
Conner grinned. “Maybe you’re just wanting an excuse to continue visiting Sadie. Why not just court her without any excuses?” He unwound from the post and strode from the barn.
Logan stared after him. Court her? He’d like to except for a couple of hitches. First, every time he thought she might welcome his interest, she pulled back. He couldn’t help but wonder why and he would not allow himself to believe it was because of him. But maybe it was. How could he know if she didn’t tell him? Secondly, she had this thing about how families fail. How parents abandon their children. It was a belief that could not exist between them. Until she told him what had happened to make her feel that way—what secrets she hid—he knew he could not follow the desire of his heart. He’d learned that lesson too well to repeat it.
He finished taking care of his horse and went to the house, where he was soon surrounded by the chatter of the family.
This was what family was to him. Warm, accepting and loving. They had healed from the death of his mother. He had never confessed to anyone that he blamed himself for her illness. She’d known of his situation in Wolf Hollow and had worried about him.
The family had also survived the behavior and rejection of Violet, Dawson’s first wife. He had a responsibility to do nothing to add anything more to the family’s pain.
But what if Sadie could see how good family could be?
He studied the food on his plate though his thoughts were far from eating. He could learn to care for her very deeply, but not so long as she hid the facts about her past and let them color her opinion about family.
Meanwhile, he would continue to search for Mr. Weiss and help Sadie with the children. Perhaps, in time, he could get her to confess what her family had done to make her so guarded.
*
The next morning he prepared for church as usual. They always went unless the weather or impassable roads prevented it. He joined the others for breakfast.
Annie buzzed about, chattering like a magpie. Conner and Logan looked at each other. Logan raised his eyebrows and shook his head. He had no idea why she was so keyed up.
Pa and Grandfather discussed the need to move the horses to a different pasture.
The family sat around the table. Logan glanced toward the chair where Ma used to sit and where Annie now sat. An ache sucked at his insides.
Again, words tangled in his brain. Family, home, responsibility. Why did they race about rather than settle down? Was it because he wanted Sadie to share the same values and he knew she didn’t?
The meal was over and Annie hurriedly cleaned up. Logan and Conner helped while Pa went out to get the wagon to take Grandfather to church.
“I’ve got plans with Carly,” Annie said. “I won’t be coming home after church.”
“We’ll starve,” Conner said, clutching at his stomach.
Annie flicked a towel at him. “Or you could make yourself a sandwich. There’s plenty of bread, some roast beef and a hunk of cheese.”
Logan had thought he’d invite Sadie and the children out to the ranch for the afternoon, but Annie’s announcement made him reconsider that plan. Maybe he could suggest something else that they could do together.
Pa and Conner said they were riding horseback into town. That left Logan to take Grandfather. At first he thought it would mean he couldn’t spend time with Sadie, and then he realized it needn’t. If he could involve Grandfather in an activity it would be a good way to let Sadie see the value of family.
He helped Grandfather to the wagon and they drove to church. A cold wind blew around them as they traveled.
“Sure hope we aren’t in for a storm,” Grandfather said. “But my old bones tell me otherwise.”
“Do you want to go back home?” He had no desire to be caught in a storm with the old man.
The wind subsided. “There, it’s all over. I want to go to church. There’s something about that young preacher I like.”
“He’s a straight shooter, isn’t he?”
For a few minutes they talked about the new preacher, then arrived in town and joined the other wagons and riders headed for church.
Logan slowed as they drew close to the schoolhouse. He didn’t see Sadie or any of the children. He journeyed on to the church, glancing at those entering. Still no sign of Sadie and her entourage. Were they already inside?
He helped Grandfather from the wagon and stayed at his side as the older man hobbled toward the door. They stepped inside. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dimmer interior. Before they did, a little body pressed to his legs.
He reached down and touched Jeannie’s head. “Good morning.” He looked around and located Sadie and the other children sitting nearby. Sadie’s smile welcomed him. Beth’s scowl did not, and Sammy looked ready to bolt. He shifted his gaze back to Sadie, finding solace in her steady look.
“I knowed you’d come.” Jeannie’s sweetness smoothed his insides.
He took her hand. “Jeannie, this is my grandfather.”
Wide-eyed, she took in his canes and white hair. “How old are you?”
Sadie gasped
but Grandfather chuckled. “I’m ancient.” He turned toward Sadie. “Do you mind if we sit by you?”
“Of course not.” She and the two children slid down to make room.
Jeannie still held Logan’s hand and pulled him into place. She sat by Sadie and wriggled and smiled as Logan sat beside her, Grandfather next to the aisle.
“Good morning,” he said. And could think of nothing more. It simply felt right and good to be here with Sadie and the children on one side, Grandfather on the other and Dawson, Isabelle and Mattie sitting a few rows ahead. His pa and Logan sat by Dawson and Annie sat with Carly. Yes, this felt just about perfect.
The hymns they sang settled into his heart with warmth and familiarity.
Preacher Hugh Arness opened his Bible. “‘But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.’” He closed his Bible and leaned forward. “Is there anything more precious than a child?”
Logan turned his head enough to see Sadie. She had turned to him. Their gazes met and melded. No words were necessary. They both agreed these children deserved love and care.
The preacher went on to talk about God’s love for them as children, then shifted to say that God had given parents to help with the task. Logan watched Sadie’s hands twist together and wondered why such comforting words would unsettle her. He promised himself he would ask the next time they had a chance to be alone.
Then the service ended. Logan introduced the two older children to Grandfather.
Beth even smiled. Logan couldn’t help but wonder why she seemed to like the old man while she continually rebuffed Logan’s attempts at friendship.
Sammy shook Grandfather’s hands. “Can I go now?” He didn’t wait for permission but darted out the door.
The rest followed more sedately. In the yard, Logan hesitated at Sadie’s side.
Grandfather gave him a squinty-eyed look. “You gonna say something or just stand there? Ask the gal if she’d like to go for a walk after dinner.”
Logan chuckled. “Would you?” he asked the blushing Sadie.
Sadie grinned at Grandfather before she turned to Logan. “Why don’t you bring your grandfather over for tea and cookies and then, yes, I’d like to go for a walk.”
“I accept.” Grandfather practically crowed with delight. “Come on, boy. Let’s go.”
Logan chuckled. “I’ll see you a little later,” he said to Sadie and waved to the two girls. Sammy played with a couple of boys some distance away. He’d see the boy later.
He followed Grandfather and helped him into the wagon. Grandfather waited until they turned down the street to say, “I thought I might have to jump in and do all the asking back there.”
Logan snorted. “Seems to me you did.”
Grandfather rumbled his lips. “A gal likes to know she’s important enough for a man to make a little effort, you know.”
“If you say so.”
Grandfather patted Logan’s shoulder. “You can take my word for it.”
They drew in at the back of the store and went into the living quarters to join Aunt Mary and Uncle George for dinner. It was one of Grandfather’s rituals…sharing this time with his younger son.
“Grandfather, why are you in such a hurry?” Aunt Mary asked as Grandfather attacked his dinner.
“Got me a date.”
Logan snorted.
Grandfather fired Logan a challenging look. “Tea and cookies.”
Aunt Mary stared. Uncle George’s hand, with his fork loaded, stopped halfway to his mouth.
“You’re seeing a girl?” Aunt Mary, bless her heart, spoke without the disbelief that filled her eyes. “Courting her?”
“Yes and no.”
Logan grinned. He loved the way Grandfather kept the family on their toes.
Uncle George put his fork down. “Is it yes or no? It can’t be both.”
“Yes, I’m seeing a girl and, no, I’m not courting her. I’m leaving that to Logan if he isn’t too thick to see the possibilities.”
Logan about choked. Too thick? But he knew better than to let Grandfather’s goading get under his skin.
“Oh, you mean Miss Young, the schoolteacher.” Uncle George neatly dismissed Grandfather’s claims. He turned to Logan. “Have you had any success in finding Mr. Weiss?”
“Afraid not.” He gave a report of his trip to Wolf Hollow.
“That’s not very helpful,” Uncle George said. “Have you asked Jesse to look for him? After all, he’s the sheriff.”
“He’s been asking around, too, but hasn’t learned anything more than I have.”
Grandfather shoved back his chair. “I’m done.” He looked at Logan’s plate. “You gonna take all day to finish that?”
Logan toyed with the food for a second or two just to let the old man know he wouldn’t be rushed. Though he was likely more anxious than Grandfather to cross the street and visit Sadie and the children, he wasn’t about to admit it. Grandfather stood, tapping one cane and then the next in an impatient drumbeat.
Logan drew his fork across his plate and scooped up the last of the food. “Guess I’m done. Are you ready, Grandfather?” he asked with a great deal of pretended innocence.
Uncle George chuckled as Grandfather grabbed his coat and struggled into it, not allowing Logan to assist him. “I’m always ready,” he grumped.
Logan knew better than to ask ready for what? Grandfather had a whole list of things he’d been able to do better than most men when he was able-bodied.
They thanked Aunt Mary for the meal. Logan grabbed another stool from the store and they crossed the street to the school yard. Logan shortened his stride so as not to rush his grandfather.
Grandfather examined the window trim and the siding as they went by the wall. “I’ll have a look inside the room before I leave. See that you’re doing a decent job.”
Logan chuckled, not a bit put out by the old man’s words. “Bear in mind you taught me everything I know.”
“Harrumph. And still you don’t know enough to court the pretty schoolmarm.”
“And still.” He echoed Grandfather’s words. Let him make of it what he would. They reached the entrance to the living quarters and Logan knocked.
Sammy pulled the door open. “Sadie said we had to wait for you to come before we could have dessert.”
“It’s only cookies,” Sadie said somewhat apologetically. “But do come in and join us.” She smiled at Grandfather and the old man practically preened. Logan had a sudden urge to jump in front of Grandfather and inform the old man that he had seen her first.
She shifted her gaze to Logan, her smile warm and welcoming.
He swallowed hard. “I brought another stool.”
Grandfather groaned. “She ain’t blind, is she?”
“No.” He set down the stool and removed his hat. Too bad he couldn’t erase the silly words as easily. He turned back to the room and saw amusement in Beth’s eyes. So she liked seeing Grandfather tease him, did she? In that case, he would encourage the older man. “Oh no,” he drawled like a backwoods hermit. “Her looks real good.”
Sadie caught his meaning and colored up like a fresh spring rose.
Grandfather chortled.
Beth covered her mouth, but she didn’t succeed in completely muffling her laugh.
Logan let his gaze find Sadie, wanting to share with her his pleasure at the change in Beth. If it took a crotchety old man to produce this change, he might bring his grandfather along every day.
They settled around the table. Somehow Logan ended up at one end, facing Sadie at the other. This was exactly the way things should be.
Sadie poured tea and passed the cookies.
“Who made the cookies?” he asked.
“Beth did.” Sadie smiled at the girl.
“They are sure good. Thank you.” He watched Beth for some sign that she would accept his compliment.
She glanced at Grandfather.
�
��You’re a fine cook for one so young,” Grandfather said.
“Thank you.” Beth slowly brought her gaze to Logan. “Thank you, too.”
Her thanks wouldn’t seem like much to most, but to Logan it was big. Especially after the scene last night.
Sammy edged forward on his seat. “You started the ranch, didn’t you?” he asked Grandfather.
“Sure did, son. Why, when I came out here, there wasn’t anything but grass and coyotes. I slept in a tent and listened to them howl not ten yards from where I lay. Now, there’s a lonesome sound.”
Sammy peppered the man with questions about what it was like. “That was some adventure.” He sat back. “My life is so boring.”
“Let’s keep it that way,” Sadie said, giving Logan a look of such hope that he almost got up and went to her side. He’d promise to make sure Sammy didn’t get into any serious mischief.
She shifted her attention around the table. “Anyone want more tea?”
No one did.
Grandfather gave Logan one of those looks…telling Logan something without using words. Half the time Logan didn’t know what he wanted and the rest of the time, he ignored the look. Let Grandfather say what he wanted rather than expect people to read his silence. He ignored him this time too.
“Thought you were going to take Sadie for walk.” Grandfather made it sound like Logan should have grabbed Sadie by the arm and dragged her from the room. He continued, “Now don’t be shy. I’ll stay with the young ones. I expect we can amuse each other.” He turned to Sadie and, before Logan could get a word out, said, “He’d like you to accompany him for a walk.”
Sadie laughed. “Why, thank you, Logan. I’d be pleased to go with you.”
Again Beth covered her mouth and again failed to hide her laugh.
Sadie took a shawl from the hook by the door and Logan took his hat, and they stepped outside.
Beth’s laughter and Grandfather’s deeper chuckles followed them.
“At least she likes him.” Logan knew there was a hint of regret in his words.
“I’m glad to see it. Aren’t you?”
“Of course I am.” He could hardly admit a degree of regret that Beth didn’t seem to like him near as well.
