Father Figure

by Kichuku Neko, TogaQ

  Phillip walked toward the window instead and took a closer look at Gabriel. He studied the face that had a purpled bruise on one cheek and the lower lip that had been split. He was pale, almost ashen to the point that there was a bluish tint to his skin. He had an IV drip with its needle inserted and taped at the crook of his left arm, the same arm that was strapped down at the bicep and forearm.

  “We saw the beginnings of the bouts of violence a week ago,” Katsuya said, walking up to stand beside Phillip. “When your father’s ring was wrenched off his finger.”

  “That wasn’t his to have,” Phillip said, staring pointedly at the man — still studying the unkempt remains of the person that looked nothing like the picture of the uniformed cop that had circulated on television. The poise was gone. There was only a carcass left, strapped to a bed.

  “I understand,” Katsuya said. “But this has become more than ownership of a ring.”

  Phillip turned away and walked to the chair Katsuya had indicated earlier. He sat down — Gabriel still visible to him peripherally.

  “I just want my dad found. I want this man in prison. I want the media and newspapers to leave me alone.”

  “Patricides make sensational news,” Katsuya said, taking a seat on the other side of the table, facing Phillip. “A policeman who commits patricide makes headline news.” “Those bastards are making up terrible stories about Dad....”

  Katsuya only nodded.

  Phillip put his hands on the table, his fingers knitted together.

  “He was a good man who led a good life,” Phillip said. “Dad didn’t deserve to be murdered by a mistake he made.”

  “Gabriel wasn’t a mistake,” Katsuya said. “From the evidence that’s been uncovered, especially the birth certificate and paternity papers found in the cabin, Uriel learned about Gabriel then.”

  “It doesn’t change a thing.”

  “It changes everything,” Katsuya said, looking over his shoulder to view Gabriel. “What happened to your father was the result of a desperate man who believed he’d lost everything, trying to keep one thread of his found past from slipping away. The papers proved a biological connection between him and your father — it’s an undeniable fact, even if Uriel rejected him. Gabriel threw away everything that he was in his twenty-three years...twenty-four years of life; his birthday was four days ago.”

  “So he murdered Dad for this?”

  “I don’t think Uriel rejected him. If he had, he would’ve been killed the first night, when the papers were likely to have been revealed to him,” Katsuya said. “Gabriel still loved your father. Uriel was killed so he would always remain his father in his mind.”

  There was a pause. When Phillip said nothing, Katsuya continued, “Your brother is ill.”

  “He’s not my brother,” Phillip said quickly, a flare of anger coloring his face.

  “You may disown him, but he’s still connected to you biologically as your father was. And he’s the only one who can bring Uriel’s body home.”

  Phillip’s fists clenched so tightly that his arms trembled. Katsuya rested a hand over Phillip’s fist, calming him.

  “Why?!” Phillip shouted. Tears came, it was the first time he had cried in many days. Even when he’d learned that his father was likely dead, he had kept his composure. Now, he was becoming unraveled. Katsuya spoke softly, a stark contrast to Phillip’s eruption.

  “He needs the ring,” Katsuya said. “If you hope to have more than just that ring as your last memento of your father, you have to give it to him. I can’t begin to open a dialog with him until he can be calmed by the ring.”

  “He took MY father from me! And now you want me to give you the only thing I have of him — and give it to the same bastard who murdered him?!” Phillip stood abruptly, knocking back the chair he was sitting in. He pulled the silver ring from his pocket and slapped it down hard on the table top. “I lost my mother three years ago and now my father! Why do you care about this man?!”

  “Phillip,” Katsuya said, his voice dropping into a whisper, “Gabriel is sick. He doesn’t have the same kind of comprehension you or I have of what happened. But he is the only one that knows where Uriel is.”

  Phillip wiped at his damp eyes with a sleeve and took a deep breath. He cursed.

  “This ring has different meanings for you and for him,” Katsuya said. “You had twenty-two wonderful years with a father who loved you unconditionally. This ring, to Gabriel, represents those few days he had with Uriel — were ‘years’ with a father he could only hope loved him.”

  “I don’t care!”

  “You do care,” Katsuya said. “Gabriel will die in a matter of weeks, perhaps sooner — if his condition persists. He hasn’t eaten or drunk anything since the ring was taken from him. He became increasingly violent, so that he had to be sedated and force fed intravenously. He could live longer than expected on this treatment because he’s young and in good health, but his condition is rapidly deteriorating. His heart is as broken as yours.”

  Phillip broke down sobbing then, burying his face in his hands. Katsuya scooted his seat back and stood. He circled around the table and pulled Phillip into his arms.

  “Oh God, I miss Dad so much....”

  The grimace on Katsuya’s face tightened. He allowed Phillip to remain in his embrace until the young man finally pushed himself away and stepped back.

  Phillip dried his damp cheeks with the heels of his hands. He apologized to Katsuya, picked up the fallen chair and sat back down in it.

  “Will this ring...fix him?” Phillip asked, his voice small and shaking.

  “I don’t think Gabriel can be fixed, in the traditional sense. People who are damaged to this extent can usually only learn to cope,” Katsuya said, returning to his own seat. “He probably can’t exist outside an institution like this. All we can hope for is to restore the last connection he had with Uriel and dispel some of his fears, particularly his belief that if he tells someone where Uriel is, Uriel will no longer be his father. He would be your father and other people’s friend and your grandparents’ son, but no longer his alone. Even through his insanity, he understands his few days with Uriel didn’t compare to years or a lifetime everyone else had with Uriel.”

  Strangled silence followed. Phillip rubbed more tears from his eyes again and stared at the ceiling. Katsuya waited patiently.

  “I can’t promise you he will give up Uriel,” Katsuya continued. “But if you have decided this ring is your own last connection to your father, then I can be certain that this is where it will end.”

  “Take the ring,” Phillip said, looking back down at Katsuya, his voice calmer. “He needs it more than I do.” He stroked the ring once more before sliding it toward the doctor. “Will you make him understand that both of us lost a father? We both share the same pain. Please tell him I miss our father very much.”

  “I will,” Katsuya nodded. “You’re doing the right thing. Your father would have been proud of your strength now.”

  “I could turn out to be a piece of shit and he’d still be proud of me,” Phillip said, the slightest smile appearing on his mouth. “I think...he would have forgiven him.”

  “I think so, too.”

  Silence fell again, until the sound of a chair scraping against the tiled floor echoed in the little room. Phillip pulled a few tissues from a box beside the lamp and dried his face and eyes with them. “A Marine can’t be seen crying like this,” he said.

  Katsuya stood up and smiled. “I’m sure even a Marine would be allowed a few moments of human weakness.”

  Phillip returned Katsuya’s smile and nodded. He wadded the tissues into a ball and shoved them into his coat pocket. “I’ll wait for Father for as long as it takes...even if it’s for the rest of my life,” Phillip said, taking Katsuya’s extended hand. “Please take care of Gabriel.”

  “Will you come and see him one day?”

  Phillip looked through the window again and then looked at the floor. �
�There are some traits I didn’t get from Dad,” he said, squeezing Katsuya’s hand once more before letting go. “Someday...if that day ever comes, when I can forgive him, I will come and see him.”

  “That certainly is your prerogative, but as long as you cling to that anger, you can’t heal.”

  Phillip smiled warmly. “Maybe,” he said and let out a sigh. “I am so numb inside that I want to feel something, even if it’s pain or anger. Thank you, Dr. Asano.” Another glance through the window, a nod at Katsuya, and he strode from the room without looking back.

  Katsuya sat in a chair that was placed by the bed. He had been quietly re-reading the thick stack of papers bundled into a flimsy manila folder the police department had forwarded to him. There were some photos taken of the cabin, color snapshots made by the initial investigators who had worked through the cypherlock. The hope had always been of finding Uriel there, alive or dead. But as Katsuya had predicted, he was not there.

  Katsuya had been at the cabin a day after the initial entry, guided by a homicide investigator who annoyed him with questions about Japan.

  “You guys certainly made a mess of this place,” Katsuya remarked as he stepped over the circles and x’s made with white chalk. There were rubber gloves the forensic team had used that were left behind. Black fingerprint powder was left on the door frames and even on the door of the refrigerator.

  Katsuya decided not to ask why prints had to be taken when it was a known fact that only two men accessed the cabin, but the police like to collect anything and everything.

  “Probably had another case to rush to,” Bellany said, his Bronx accent evident. He scratched at the five o’clock shadow growing on his chin, although it was only past noon. “The guys usually ain’t that bad.”

  Katsuya agreed with him, only to avoid a pointless discussion. He stepped gingerly, careful not to disturb the chalk markings on the floor although Bellany told him the forensics team was done processing the scene. After their visit, the cabin would be sealed and seized as evidence.

  “I didn’t know the kid,” Bellany said, picking up a length of chain from the small table and letting it drop with a jingle. “Heard he’s popular with the women. There’s always chicks from different departments waiting to jump him, y’know? Didn’t think he’d be into this kinda BDSM thing with a guy, y’know. Not that I really have a thing against guys who does that stuff....”

  “You shouldn’t assume a lot of things, nor circulate rumors, Detective Bellany,” Katsuya said, inspecting the small bathroom. “We‘re not investigating a sex crime.” Katsuya didn’t have to turn to know Bellany’s face had flushed, embarrassed at his unreserved remarks.

  “I’ll be outside,” Bellany finally said, clearing his throat.

  Katsuya didn’t acknowledge him. His attention was still focused on taking in each detail of the cabin — the disassembled pipes that were left under the sink; a few articles of clothing left in one corner of the room; an opened first-aid kit that displayed its nearly emptied contents on top of the refrigerator; a frying pan with a shallow spot of cooking oil sat on the single-coil electric burner. It was as if there had been a hasty decision to leave.

  Katsuya walked over to the bed with its rumpled, blood spotted sheets that had been stripped from the mattress and left in a pile. There were darkened blood stains on the mattress, just barely enough to indicate a struggle but not severe trauma. Katsuya touched the small length of chain attached to an eye bolt in the wall, just over the headboard. The physical reality of the restraint was shocking.

  “Why did it come to this?” Katsuya whispered. He sat on the edge of the bed and from there, slowly examined the room from one side to the other. Darkness must have consumed this small space. Now, with the wide-opened door letting in daylight made even brighter by the reflection off the snow, the cabin didn’t feel as frightening and isolated as it must have then.

  “Just let me know when you are ready to go,” Bellany said, leaning in suddenly. He held his lit cigarette behind his back but the smoke still wafted in.

  “Detective, can you close the door?”

  “Pardon?”

  “Close the door and let me be alone here for a little bit,” Katsuya said, giving him a smile that he knew would disarm the detective. “I would like to see what those men saw.”

  The detective scratched at his chin again and nodded.

  The door closed slowly, draining the light from the cabin until all Katsuya could see were outlines of the furniture, made by the light that came from the bathroom windows.

  Gradually, as Katsuya sat contemplating the madness that must have consumed Gabriel, he saw the kind of insanity that had taken a lifetime to build and then exploded in days, triggered by the love for a man that had been missing all his life. Katsuya wondered briefly if that trigger would ever have been pulled if Gabriel had never learned the identity of his father. In that moment, he could understand the pain, anger, love and hate that had consumed both men in the span of a few days in that small vacuum, where no one existed but them.

  Katsuya stared at the photographs. They showed items that were no longer there when he’d gone to the cabin. There were suitcases that had held their clothing at one side of the room, a drinking glass that had rolled under the bed, a scattering of papers — some of which had been copied and stuck into the folder he was reading.

  Motion from the bed, slow and gradual, made Katsuya look up. He closed the folder and laid it under his chair. He watched intently as Gabriel’s eyes opened half-way, still drugged and hazy, even though he was alert to Katsuya’s presence and he looked over at him.

  “How do you feel?”

  Gabriel didn’t answer, instead he looked at the IV that was attached to him, the clear bag half-full of fluid.

  “I promise I’ll take this off and your catheter out if you will eat and drink on your own.” Gabriel looked at him, as if Katsuya were saying something he couldn’t understand.

  “And I swear you’ll keep your ring if you will do as I ask,” Katsuya said, pulling out the silver band from his pocket and holding it up for Gabriel to see.

  Life leapt back into Gabriel’s eyes again and they widened. Tears formed and flowed, as soon as Katsuya slid the ring onto Gabriel’s finger.

  “You’ll let the nurses take care of you and you will eat and drink what they bring and I promise, no one will take that ring from you. And no one will tie you down again, as long as you do not act out against them.”

  Gabriel nodded. He whimpered, a sound that took the place of the words that he couldn’t say. Katsuya gave him a smile and pressed the call-button recessed into the wall.

  “I will come back this afternoon to see you,” Katsuya said, bending down to collect his folder. “We will talk.”

  It had been only four hours since Katsuya had left him and come back. Gabriel had been moved to a different room, but was still in the same section of the ward. The new room was less intrusive. It was without an attached observation room with a one-way mirror and the bed didn’t come with straps and cuffs. There was a CCTV mounted in the upper corner of the ceiling, but Katsuya knew it didn’t pick up sound.

  Those four hours had made a difference. Gabriel had bathed, was groomed and some color had come back into his face. His bruises and cut lip — resulting from one of many scuffles he’d had with the hospital workers during one of his violent rages — were even more shocking to see on Gabriel’s cleaned-up face.

  “Thank you,” Gabriel said, his voice dry, a whisper. Although there was half a cup of water on the stand next to the bed, he didn’t take it. “I know you had to talk him into giving it to me.”

  “He is also your brother,” Katsuya said, “as much as Uriel was your father.”

  Gabriel looked down at his hand, at the ring.

  “Are you going to ask me to give up Father for him?”

  “No,” Katsuya said, pulling his chair up closer to the bed. He crossed one leg over the other. “You will tell me when you are ready t
o. I’d like to hear how you met your father.”

  Gabriel chewed on his lip, his teeth grazing precariously aver the cut. For a while, the only sounds that could be heard were footsteps that padded by their door or an occasional announcement paging someone aver the PA in the hallway. Katsuya was patient.

  Gabriel finally looked up.

  "It started with a letter..." he began.

  Father Figure

  by

  Guilt|Pleasure

  Written By: Kichiku Neko

  Art By: Toga Q

  Editor: Mycean

  ISBN-13: 978-1-62548-011-8

  © Guilt|Pleasure 2011

  www.guiltpleasure.com