by J. A. Saare
“Just the check, please,” Caleb said and reached into his back pocket for his wallet. She nodded and walked away.
“Sammie,” I said hesitantly, “please try to stay away from Erin if you can. If she’s going to Biloxi, or she’s been there before, she knows about werewolves.”
Sammie went stock-still. “How do you know that?”
“She knows because that is where they converge together,” Caleb grumbled, scowling at her. “Most common vampires stay in the north. It’s cooler and their natural paleness isn’t as easily observed by those who tend to stay out of the sun. But if they want to experience the nightlife among us, they gather together at the border. They usually go to Biloxi, but sometimes they’ll visit Flora-Bama, New Orleans, or other spots in Miami.”
“I’ll make you both a deal,” Sammie said, eyes sly and lips haughty. “If I stay away from her and keep things quiet, the next time you go to Scotland to visit Emma’s family I’m coming too.”
“We’re making the trip at Christmas. Are you sure you want to sacrifice time with your parents?” I asked.
“I’m positive.”
Peering up at Caleb, I gave him an apologetic smile. He rolled his eyes and accepted the bill from the waitress when she appeared with our tab. He looked at the amount and threw cash on the table.
****
Later that night, I sat on the porch with Sarah. My mind was awash with emotion, spilling over like a too full basket. Tomorrow was the big day, our much-needed trip together. However, it wasn’t time alone I was worried about.
I wished it were that simple.
My bloodline didn’t stop with me. Any children I ever had—if I decided to—would also carry the abilities that vampires coveted. Compounding things was Caleb’s own werewolf nature. Our children could potentially carry the trait passed down by both of us. I didn’t want children at the present moment, and with the future they might face because of their linage, perhaps not ever.
“You’re on the pill, right?” Sarah asked softly. She was trying to be supportive, but it was difficult for her. She was dealing with her own issues. She and Derek had yet to bond, and with the passing of time, they worried about their future together.
“Not yet, soon,” I answered, equally hushed. “I just visited a doctor a week ago.”
“You should be fine.” She sounded extremely uncomfortable.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I asked. I twisted my fingers together nervously.
“Males of our kind can tell when we’re ovulating.” She blushed, cheeks staining red. “So if you’re close, Caleb would know.”
I felt my cheeks flush too and quickly buried my head in my hands, rocking back and forth in the rocker. I already knew Caleb could tell when I was fertile but being reminded was mortifying.
“This is like a bad Twilight Zone, slash Animal Planet episode on Mystery Science Theater 3000.” I groaned. “I can just hear Servo now.”
Sarah laughed. “That sounds about right. I know it sounds weird, but it’s our nature if you think about it.”
“Nature or not”—I frowned, crinkling my nose in distaste—“it’s just plain strange, icky, intrusive, and nasty.”
“You would be upset, if you had children?” Sarah’s voice was brimming with unfiltered sadness. I knew she wanted a family. If she and Derek had bonded, they’d probably be well on their way. She’d already gone to college and graduated with a degree in Psychology. The only thing left for her was to settle down.
“I wouldn’t be upset, but I’d be scared. It’s not the same for me. I’m still figuring out all kinds of things about myself. I wouldn’t want to put my children into the same situation.”
“But if you change, if you become one of us, then you wouldn’t have to worry. They’d let everything go.”
She didn’t have to say who “they” were. I knew.
“Maybe.” I breathed and nodded, wringing my hands. “Maybe not. I still worry that Decimus is going to show up one day and threaten to take me back. You didn’t see him at the ascension, Sarah. He was...” My mind drifted back to those canary yellow eyes with a black ring around the iris. I swallowed loudly and continued, “He was ruthless and terrifying. I couldn’t tell him no, because when he was near me, I didn’t want to. When he took control, I was nothing.”
“Then you need to talk to Caleb,” Sarah said, her lovely face determined. “Tell him you two seriously need to consider your move permanently into the pack. I know his fears, and I understand them. But you’re safer if you’re linked to us.”
“The link you share, what is it exactly?” I’d felt it when they’d come together in a circle when Caleb challenged Decimus. An intense awareness of all of them had overcome me in the moment the wolves merged, surrounding and sheltering me as their bond strengthened and coursed through Caleb.
“It’s our true power. Our wolves are strong. Make no mistake. However, our true strength lies in solidarity. We need the pack to build us up, and when we need to, to share among each other. Our alpha usually calls upon the strength of the pack, but Caleb is beta, next in line for the position when Sam steps down, so he can call on it too.”
Caleb mentioned his status to me in Scotland, alluding to what would eventually happen in the future. The pack would become his to control and, if I chose to become like him, mine as well.
Shaking off the implications of that possibility, I murmured, “It sounds amazing.”
“It is.” She nodded. “If you chose to join the pack, you’ll become a beta as Caleb’s mate. No one-—werewolf or vampire—would be stupid enough to challenge that.”
“I’ll talk to Caleb,” I promised. “It’s not easy for him, not after Beverly. He still blames himself. But he wants me to be safe, and he understands this would be the best way to make that happen.”
“I can’t believe you almost became one of them.” Sarah’s mouth hardened into a thin line. “To imagine you as a vampire...It made me physically ill, Emma. When Caleb got your letter, I knew something was wrong. He wouldn’t leave Haven’s and kept instigating fights and acting completely out of character. So I waited until he was in the shower at the cabin and read it.” She appeared shamefaced, averting her eyes when she noticed my surprise. “I know it was wrong of me, but I finally understood his rage. I felt the same. I wanted to come there and drag you back home myself.”
“Why didn’t you?” I asked, slightly hurt. “You know I would have come back.”
“Caleb.” She sat up, peering out into the dark, providing me with a perfect view of her profile. “He wouldn’t listen to me. That asshole Parker got exactly what he wanted when he attacked you. Caleb told me that when he saw Parker on the ground inside your house, for a split second, he imagined it was you. It tore him up pretty bad, Emma.”
“When you all came over that hill—” My voice cracked and my eyes blurred with unexpected tears. I took a deep breath and blinked several times, attempting to collect myself. “You don’t know how unbelievable it felt knowing I was finally safe.”
“I’m glad.” Sarah’s smile warmed me from the inside out. “I was happy to see you as well.”
I gazed out at the still moonless sky, the stars twinkling from millions of miles away. I’d stared at a starry sky just like this in Scotland, hoping that maybe Caleb was looking at them just as I was. It soothed me, reminding me that even if he wasn’t beside me, he was still there somewhere.
The door opened and Derek stepped onto the porch. His warm chocolate brown eyes flittered to me and then settled on Sarah. His mouth contorted into a loving grin when he walked over and bent down to kiss her. They loved each other so much. It hardly seemed fair that they continued to suffer for it. Why wouldn’t Derek’s wolf bond with her? She was perfect in every way.
“So, Emma,” Derek drawled, standing straight and rotating to face me. “I got you something for the trip.”
He pulled a present from behind his back. The bag was pretty, pink with white and purple paper o
n the inside. He handed it over and I accepted it suspiciously. I knew Derek and how he worked.
I smelled ambush.
“Go ahead.” He hiked his chin. “Open it.”
Sarah looked at me and shrugged. Whatever he’d done, he’d done it alone. I pulled the paper out of the bag and reached for the tiny object resting at the bottom. After I removed the thin piece of metal from the bag, I frowned.
I glanced up at Derek. “A cell phone?”
“Caleb’s terrible about calling, and I’m tired of not being able to get his ass on the phone. Don’t thank me, you’re welcome.”
I shook my head and closed my eyes for a moment. Biting my tongue, I reminded myself this was a gift from Derek. “You got me a gift so you can stay in touch with Caleb?”
Sarah sighed, gave me a sympathetic eye roll, and asked cynically, “What did you expect?”
Chapter 3—A Million Little Pieces
Winter mornings in Tennessee are gorgeous. When the dew from the night causes the ground to freeze, the crisp blades of grass turn white and shimmer as the sun appears in the sky, sparkling in shades of gold, green, and white. The air smells crisp and blisters your lungs in the best way imaginable, reminding you that each day is a precious gift. You can feel the new day beginning—everything fresh, clean, and untainted.
We woke up early, packed, and we were ready to go. Sarah and Derek offered to drive Caleb and me to the airport, and we graciously accepted. We left Sammie, Beverly, and Chris behind without waking them, since we said our goodbyes the night before. Fortunately, our departure wasn’t bittersweet this time. Everyone was relieved to see Caleb happy again, especially after the last few months. More importantly, everyone knew at the end of our journey we’d return with a decision regarding the pack.
We arrived at the airport just as the sun crested. Derek and Sarah dropped us off at the front. They had plans of their own, taking a trip to Sarah’s parents for the weekend.
“If that phone rings, answer it,” Derek warned Caleb. “If you don’t, I’ll be flying out there to have a conversation with you in person.”
“You’re worse than a jealous girlfriend,” Caleb grumbled.
“Then you know I mean it.” Derek smiled at me. “You too, Emma.”
They drove off in Haven’s silver suburban. Derek punched the gas and soared past pedestrians as they exited the parking lot. I shook my head and lifted my bags. Caleb took the largest from me, placing it under his right arm, and carried the other two in his hands.
We checked in, got our bags set, went through security, and retrieved our carry-on luggage. When we arrived in front of our departure spot, I turned and bumped into Caleb’s much larger body. He frowned when I dropped my bags and wrapped my arms around his waist. Pressing my face against his chest, I held on tight and refused to let go.
“What’s wrong?” he asked in concern, bending slightly to drop his carry-on and return my embrace. His warm palm came up to cup the back of my head, urging me nearer.
“I’m just thinking about the last time we were at the airport together.” I traced my thumb across my mother’s ring, spinning the metal around my finger. “I didn’t want to let you go.”
He squeezed me gently in understanding and began swaying our bodies left and right. I buried my nose into his shirt, breathing deeply. He smelled amazing—like woods, rain, and freshly cut pine.
“I’ll never let you go again,” he promised and pressed a kiss to my head.
Our flight was called and we pulled apart, laughing softly when our eyes met. We quickly gathered our things and went to board. Caleb handed the tickets to the attendant and waited until she gave them back. Then, he motioned toward the rectangular hallway and twined his warm fingers around mine.
The past was forgotten as we boarded the plane together.
****
Colorado was freezing, white, and breathtaking.
Haven had planned the trip for us ahead of time. He had a van waiting just outside the airport, along with a map marked with the locations we’d need to visit before we drove to the cabin. The trip required a lot of driving. Haven’s cabin rested in a county with the smallest population in Colorado—San Juan.
The trees along the way were covered in snow, their branches hanging low under the weight. The sun was a bright beacon in the sky, shining down and reflecting the layers of ivory. When we arrived at our destination it was afternoon, still early enough to unpack and explore.
The cabin was different than the one Haven built in Tennessee. Glass covered the front, creating a huge window that spanned the wood. The bottom floor was square and the upper level came together in a diamond. Massive windows highlighted the stairs and floors inside. A porch wrapped around the cabin, and the stairs to the door ran along the front in a zigzag. Another set of stairs ran along the back—it was marked on the map.
Caleb pulled around the cabin and backed up to the door located across from a huge barn. “We’re here.” He grinned at me, and I tried to hide my anxiousness. He climbed out and I followed. He opened the back door to the cabin and waited for me to step inside before he closed the door behind us.
The back door entered the kitchen. The floor was a nice white ceramic tile, matching the knobs on the light wood cabinets above and below. The counter was white, too, and wrapped around the wall, ending at the refrigerator beside the door. The dishwasher was near the twin sinks, next to the oven. A small counter separated the living room and the kitchen. Matching stools were placed underneath. It smelled like freshly cut pine—clean and brand-spanking new.
“You want to check it out?” Caleb asked, smiling down at me.
“Well…” I thought out loud. “It’s colder than a freezer out there, so I’m sure the food will keep.”
I walked past the counter and strolled into the living room, stopping when I stepped under the wooden ceiling overhead. The room opened from floor to roof inside the living room and through the clear glass you could glimpse heaven. The snow flared in the distance, creating a winter paradise. It glowed white, blinding and breathtaking.
“Wow,” I breathed and turned to look at the room itself.
A large rug was on the floor under both the coffee table and couch to the left. A large flat screen was mounted on the right wall with speakers affixed on either side. I was still trying to understand why Haven used such expensive speakers if werewolves kept the volume low. Some frequencies hurt their ears and it seemed like a waste to fork out money for Bose.
Turning, I started walking to the front door. Directly across the way were stairs leading to the floor above. I hurried over, rushing up the stairs. A huge bedroom waited at the top, and a bed was pressed against the far wall hidden away from the windows. The walls were darker, the wood stained. I walked to the door on the left, pulled it open, and discovered a large bathroom. I closed the door and walked back to the stairs. Caleb’s face appeared as he came up, and the devastating grin he gave me caused my heart to hammer and stomach to lurch.
“What do you think?” he asked and pulled me into his arms when I was within reach.
“It’s amazing,” I murmured against his chest, nervous again. I’d never been completely alone with Caleb—not like this. Not in a place where no one would interrupt, without restrictions or time constraints. I was always aware of him, but in the confines of the cabin, just the two of us, I couldn’t think of anything else.
“Are you afraid of something?” he whispered into my hair.
“No, why would you think that?”
“Because I can smell it, Emma,” he admitted. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I reassured him. “I’m just nervous.”
We hadn’t made love since he’d returned for me. It was too difficult to find time alone. Now I worried I might do something wrong or find some way to embarrass myself. Each time I recalled our time together at the rock quarry, or dredged up the memory of our stolen moments locked away inside his bedroom at Haven’s cabin in Tennessee, I felt
shy and awkward.
Gently, he pushed me from his embrace. I quickly looked away, embarrassed and mortified. He lifted my chin and forced me to meet his understanding stare, those blue eyes full of everything I loved.
“We have as long as you need,” he said in a husky timbre. “Our time together, remember?”
“I remember,” I whispered.
“How about we unpack?” he suggested, grinning. “We have to get everything sorted so we can cook and Derek packed some movies, just in case.”
“Okay.”
He wrapped his fingers around my hand as I answered and led us back down.
It took forever carrying in and unpacking all the food. Caleb bought more than I thought we’d actually need. He shoved the meats into the freezer until there was barely room for the ice cream. In retrospect, the ice cream probably wasn’t my smartest idea. It was freezing outside, and my body temperature didn’t stay toasty like Caleb’s.
We moved along to other things like paper towels, toilet paper, and hair care products before dragging our suitcases upstairs. Or, I should say, I attempted to drag mine up the stairs before Caleb took them.
Finishing with time to spare, we decided to take a walk along the property. Haven had twenty acres worth of uninhabited woodlands behind the cabin with a small creek that ran along the back that was marked on the map he gave us. We bundled up—me more so than Caleb—and headed out. Caleb kept poking fun of the black toboggan that covered my head. For once, I wished I had a bit of wolf blood to keep my temperature regulated.
Caleb scented the air and led us in the direction of the water. “It’s this way.”
“What does water smell like anyway?” I tried to ignore the white clouds caused by my heated breath as I spoke. “I thought it was odorless and tasteless.”
“Of course normal people think that.” Caleb chuckled and grinned at me. “It’s not just the water. I can smell the rocks, dirt, salt, and fish if they are present. The water is one scent among many.”
“You can smell all of that?” I asked, completely incredulous.
“Yep.”
