A Love Like This

by Kahlen Aymes

  “I don’t want to wait,” I breathed.

  He slid into me, pulling me flush against him so he was buried to the hilt inside me. “Then don’t wait.”

  His delicious breath brushed my face, and his lower lip bumped and nudged the top one of mine, until finally, after what felt like eternity, his mouth crashed over mine. The kisses were passionate, giving and taking, as our hips rocked together.

  I gasped, feeling my entire body start to tingle. “Ryan, I love you.”

  “I love you, and you’re mine. You belong with me.”

  She was so damn beautiful. I watched Julia from the next seat, my hand resting warmly on her leg beneath the blanket. She was sleeping peacefully, leaning on the closed window shade with her Stanford hoodie bunched up behind her head. I yawned, covering my mouth with my hand. I was looking forward to our bed. I hadn’t wanted to be there in six weeks but now the proposition was glorious.

  Julia and I had been exhausted from the days and nights apart, but our lovemaking couldn’t be denied after our reunion. We stayed a few days in Paris, running around the city, putting the lock on the fence and leaving it there, Julia running around the Louvre to show me all the great works that mattered to her. Last night, we went up the Eiffel Tower. As glorious as the days had been, the nights were even better. We couldn’t get enough of each other and made love several times a night. We were paying for it now, but it was so worth it.

  Undoubtedly, she had to feel exhausted all the time now anyway. Growing a baby surely had to take a lot out of her, and I should have been more considerate by making sure she rested more. But, it was technically our honeymoon, and once we touched, there was no holding back.

  I sucked in a deep breath, filling my lungs to capacity. I was finally whole now that I had Julia beside me again, and the prospect of our baby was a bonus. I could, literally, feel tenderness fill me up as I looked upon the woman next to me. I was truly blessed.

  The flight attendant paused on her way past and laughed at my expression. My smile widened. I didn’t give a fuck what she thought about the sappy look on my face; I was happy as hell!

  “Do you need anything? Perhaps some wine?”

  “Sure. Red, please. Do you have Merlot?”

  “What about your companion?” she nodded in my wife’s direction.

  “My wife can’t have alcohol; we’re expecting our first baby,” I announced happily. It was the first time I’d said it out loud to someone else, and it felt miraculous.

  “Congratulations. How about some apple juice?”

  “She prefers orange, if you have it.”

  By the time I’d placed the juice on her tray table, Julia began to stir. Her eyes fluttered open slowly.

  “Flight attendants drooling all over you, hmmm?”

  I glanced over and was met with bright green eyes and a brilliant smile.

  I grinned again. “Who?”

  “Uh huh, whatever,” Julia grunted as she pushed herself into a sitting position and picked up her juice.

  She was so cute. I chuckled and squeezed her thigh, leaning over to place an open-mouthed kiss on her lips. “Mmm, you taste so good.”

  “Flattery will get you everywhere.” She smiled and nudged my shoulder with hers.

  “I’m counting on it.” I leaned into her and took her hand in mine, bringing it up to brush my lips against her knuckles, and she laid her head on my shoulder. We couldn’t stop touching each other, but I wasn’t complaining. Julia put on a brave face about Jane, but it would kill her to think of me working beside her day after day. I knew that I couldn’t stand it if Turner had really tried to have her. If he’d touched her in the way Jane had touched me, I’d want to kill him. There was no way in hell I’d stand by quietly while Julia saw him every day after something like that.

  “Turner didn’t try anything while you were in Paris, did he?” My eyes met hers and didn’t flinch. After what I’d shared our first night back together, I hardly had the right to ask, but I had to know.

  She shook her head slowly. “No. He, um… he’s actually become a good friend. He admitted to me that he had hopes in my direction in the past, but after photographing our wedding, he knew it was a lost cause. He told me to get my ass back where I belonged. He’s got his eye on Andrea. She can’t see it. It’s sort of hilarious.”

  My eyebrows shot up. I was skeptical. “Really?”

  “Yeah, really.” She scrunched her nose at me. “What brought that on?”

  “This whole thing. I emailed Dr. Jameson this morning and told him I was leaving St. Vincent’s.”

  Julia’s back stiffened as she sat up straighter. “What? Why? Ryan, you’ll have to start your residency all over again!”

  “So what? I refuse to put you through the pain of having me around Jane every day.”

  Her head cocked to one side, and she relaxed, her expression filling with love and incredulousness. “Are you certain?”

  “Yes. You,” I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand over and over in a gentle caress and reached over with my other hand to press it to her still flat tummy, “and, this, are all that matter to me now.”

  “I already love you more than I can stand. You have to stop or I’ll explode.”

  I leaned back in the leather seat. “Yeah, I know.” I flashed a brilliant smile and winked at her. She giggled and smoothed the blanket on her lap.

  “I will explode.” She laughed softly and put a hand on her belly. “Literally.”

  “You’ll be gorgeous.” I reached out and brushed her chin with my index finger.

  She’d taken the week off to play in Paris, except for Monday afternoon, and I hadn’t questioned her. She was coming home with me, and I just figured she would resume her old position. If not, plenty of magazines would want to hire her. I wasn’t sweating it.

  “So, I guess we’re both unemployed.”

  “What?” I asked in surprise.

  “Yeah. I quit Vogue.” She seemed at ease with what would have been a major crisis a few weeks ago.

  “You did? Why didn’t you tell me before?”

  “I was afraid you’d feel like it was your fault.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “When I wanted to come home. I told Meredith that I couldn’t stand being away from you. Even though she saw how it was killing me, she refused to let me go home. She laughed it off and said she’d have me home before for a measly visit in a month and that was the end of the discussion. So I quit. This whole fucked-up mess has taught me that no job is worth being away from you or risking what’s between us. It looks like we both made the same call.”

  I looked at her and felt my heart expand painfully. Incredibly, my love for my amazing wife grew yet again. She was amazing. “I thought we decided we’re indestructible.”

  “Yes, but we don’t need to antagonize each other, right?” Julia smiled softly and leaned toward me for a soft kiss. “We’re going to be poor, so it’s a good thing we can live on love… and sex.” Julia smirked at me and waggled her sculpted eyebrows.

  I laughed out loud. “We’ll manage somehow.”

  “Should we go back to Boston? Being there with you after the accident meant so much to me. I bet Mass General would love to get you back.”

  I watched her closely as the enormity of her words sank in. “Wow. Really?” I missed Boston.

  She lifted her shoulder in a half-shrug. “Yes.” I fell into the soft green orbs of her eyes as the softly spoken word left her mouth.

  “I want to have the baby with Aaron and Jenna close by anyway.”

  “That’s a very sweet thought.”

  Her eyes connected and stayed on mine. “Ryan…” Julia reached out and threaded her fingers to mine; lifting my hand, she bent to brush her lips across the top of it. “I’d like you to deliver the baby; just you and me. We’re so close, and this is such an intimate thing, I don’t want to share it with anyone else. Do you think that would be okay?”

  My throat started to cl
ose before she was finished speaking, and my eyes burned with emotion. I was overwhelmed. “I think… that would be… unbelievably… perfect. If there are no complications, and I feel it’s safe, I would really love that, babe.” An incredulous laugh burst out. “How did I ever get so lucky? You’re so fucking amazing.”

  Happiness filled her beautiful green eyes, and the music of her laughter filled my soul with joy. “Takes one to know one, Matthews.”

  Happiness and contentment settled over me like a thick, fluffy blanket. I flashed my wife a brilliant smile and squeezed her hand. “Yeah. I guess it does.”

  ~Epilogue~

  I drew my hand down over the swollen curve of Julia’s pregnant belly, spreading my fingers wide to hold as much of it as I could in my hand; always waiting for the miracle of a flutter or kick. We sat in the freshly finished nursery, snuggled up together in the plush chaise lounge. Julia’s hand was wrapped around my bicep, and her forehead rested against it, her back against my chest as she sat between my legs. I leaned in to press my lips to the top of her head. She was so beautiful to me as her body changed before my eyes. She sighed with satisfaction, and I had no desire to move, just enjoying Julia’s scent and the feeling of holding her close. My lips remained against her skin.

  After two months of hunting around different parts of the city, we found a modest home in an older neighborhood. Julia liked the architecture and character much more than newer, more modern, cookie-cutter types; the landscaping was more detailed and the trees taller and more luxurious. Being an artist, she obviously translated individuality into beauty. She loved the hardwood floors and deep woodwork, arched entryways, and the quaint little touches. It was the window seat in this room that had sold us the house. It was the perfect place for our family to grow.

  Of course, it wasn’t so perfect when we bought it and it needed quite a bit of work, but the price was right. The budget was tighter than tight, but somehow, we made it work. Julia did a lot of the painting, but we hired a contractor for the rework of the kitchen and bathroom. I helped as much as possible when I was home, but she seemed to enjoy putting her stamp on it. We saved decorating the nursery until after the first ultrasound and didn’t begin until the first of May. I didn’t really want to know the sex of the baby, but Julia argued that we could get to know the baby and also personalize the space. And, she glowed like a light bulb the entire time we worked on it. My mom sent a fifteen hundred dollar gift certificate from Babies “R” Us to make sure we had everything we needed. The kid was going to be spoiled rotten.

  I glanced around the now perfectly appointed room. Ellie and both of our mothers had flown in for the baby shower Jenna had thrown last month, and now, the room was a baby paradise. Instead of the typical light blue, the room was done in eggshell with touches of dark teals and browns. Julia had a specific name for each one of the colors, but I didn’t bog my brain down with that crap. It looked good;—not all frou-frou—and that’s what mattered to me.

  Julia’s mom handmade a quilt in the same color scheme; you could visibly see all the love she poured into it. Ellie and my mom sent packages almost weekly with baby clothes and stuffed animals. My father commissioned a wood carver in Chicago to create the mobile hanging over the crib; and the hand carved toy trucks, sailboats, and teddy bears exactly matched the images on Marin’s quilt. The music box at the center of it played row Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

  There was a dresser full of diapers, blankets, onesies, and footed pajamas, a bookshelf already filled with children’s classics, a chaise and rocking chair, and a dark mahogany crib and changing table. It looked like an ad out of Vogue Baby. I huffed out a small laugh. I wasn’t sure why I expected anything less.

  We’d moved to Boston as soon as we could break our lease in New York. Meredith called ten times, begging Julia to reconsider leaving Condé Nast, and I was proud of her steadfastness that initiated the move. I was extremely proud when I listened to her on the phone, only two days after we’d returned to New York, telling her ex-boss that she wouldn’t choose her job over her family ever again. It turned out Meredith was the one who caved and made an offer for Julia to work on the magazine, freelance, from Boston. We moved her art table and bought an old desk at a flea market, and both now sat in her new office in the other spare bedroom. It was all coming together like perfect pieces of a puzzle.

  My place in the residency program at Mass General was secured before we’d packed one box. I was happy as hell to be back in familiar surroundings, working closely with some of my friends, and mostly, to have Aaron and Jenna near. It was like stepping back into the most comfortable pair of jeans I ever had.

  Aaron was focusing on internal medicine, so he wasn’t working in the ER with me, but I still had Jenna. The hours were grueling, and I was still away from Julia more than either of us liked, but the two women spent a lot of time together. Somehow, it made my time away easier. I felt safer, more at ease.

  Now all that was left to do was have the baby. I’d never forget how I felt when I looked at the ultrasound screen, holding Julia’s hand. She looked up at me with expectant eyes, waiting for me to tell her if our baby was a boy or a girl. My heart almost flew out of my chest as the nurse rolled the instrument around in the goo on Julia’s rounded stomach. When that little profile showed up on the screen, my eyes blurred, and I squeezed her hand so hard she had to tell me to loosen my grip. A few more turns and we made sure the baby was healthy, and the sex became clear. I puffed up like a peacock, bending down to kiss my wife happily.

  “Ryan? Well, what?” She’d been so anxious, pulling at my shirt with her free hand. “Ryan!”

  “It’s a boy.” Her face lit up, and she cried, all at the same time. I grinned so hard, my face hurt. I smiled softly now, remembering.

  Julia sat back with a satisfied expression. “I told you.”

  The baby was measured to make sure he was developing on schedule, and he was perfect.

  When we left the appointment, I hoisted her up on my back for a piggyback ride to the car.

  The fingers of Julia’s other hand traced delicate lines in the hair on my forearm that held her close. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Well…” I murmured softly, enjoying the feeling of having her enfolded against me. “I’m thinking that the baby is due in a week, and we still have to choose his name.”

  Her arms rested over mine and tightened, bringing mine closer around her. “I know. Jenna said we should combine our names. She suggested Julian.”

  My face screwed up in protest. “Uh… no. My son isn’t going to have a pussy name like that!” I insisted.

  Julia giggled happily. “I told her you’d say that.”

  I huffed, grinning. “No shit.”

  “Zane?” she asked softly.

  I didn’t hesitate. “What? So he can get his ass teased off. ‘Hey! Insane Zane!’ No, thanks.”

  “Elliott?”

  “No.”

  “Jason? Or Jace for short?”

  I grimaced again. I liked Jace, but Jason, no way in hell. “Jason reminds me of that ass-wipe who followed you around like a dog junior year.”

  Julia snorted softly and looked up at me, her expression amused. “Jason Milner?” she asked incredulously.

  I shook my head and screwed up my face. “See? Why’d ya have to go and remember that dickhead’s name?”

  She laughed out loud. “Why don’t you come up with something since you hate all of my ideas? We could name him after your dad.”

  I lifted a shoulder. “Eh… I thought of that. But won’t your dad be pissed?”

  “I don’t like my dad’s name that much, but don’t tell him I said that.”

  “This is a hell of a lot harder than I thought it would be.”

  “What about Aaron or Ryan? Or your middle name?”

  I let that sit for a minute, contemplating the options. I was certain it would mean a lot to Aaron if I named my son after him, and at the same time, I’d be proud as hell if my lit
tle boy had my name.

  “Aaron Mitchell or Ryan Aaron?” Julia asked, still stroking her fingers up and down my arm.

  “I don’t know. Ryan Aaron feels goofy.”

  “That’s because you’re used to Ryan Mitchell. So, what about a derivative name? One we make out of Ryan and Aaron?”

  “You mean like Ry-ron?” I thought it sounded completely ludicrous and the tone in my voice said so. “You want me to name my son Ry-ron? That’s… Uh, when hell freezes over.”

  Julia burst out laughing. “No, not like Ry-ron. Oh, my God, Ryan! It doesn’t have to be so literal!”

  I couldn’t help the deep chuckle that rumbled through my chest. “Then, what? Ay-on?”

  She reached around and punched me playfully in the arm, still laughing. “No! What about Aiden, only we spell it with an A N at the end or Y after A? Like A I D A N, A Y D A N or A Y D E N? That way, he’ll have some letters from each of your names? I like that a lot.”

  “Yeah, I can see that.”

  “Which one do you like the most?”

  I mulled it over, trying to think of any stupid nicknames that could be made out of it and then whether it was dignified enough for him as a man. It had to fit him all his life. “I think A I D A N is nice.”

  She nodded. “Okay, then Aidan it is.”

  “Aidan Aaron?” I asked.

  Julia shrugged against me. “That could work. But, see, I have this mad crush on the baby’s daddy, so I’d really love to see my son carry some part of your name in a real way, Ryan. So, Aiden Mitchell is my favorite.”

  My mouth lifted in a slow smile, and love for the woman in my arms once again lurched in my chest. I pulled her closer, kissing the side of her face. “I love you, you know.”

  Julia turned in my arms, and I moved to let her adjust. She turned sideways and draped both legs over the top of my left thigh. She settled against my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist. Her nose brushed against my jaw, and then she kissed along its line. Her lips were warm and coaxing.