by Kelly Oram
That question, or my cringing away from him, was too much for Russ. His voice shook and he didn’t even bother to try and cover it up. “I’m still the same guy you’ve known your entire life.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“No,” he whispered. He kept his eyes fixed on the pool, unable to look at me at all. “I’m not human. Not technically. I’m a supernatural being. A warlock.”
When I didn’t respond, Russ finally met my eyes. “Nothing’s changed,” he promised. There was desperation in his voice. “Five minutes ago you were my best friend. You can still be my best friend. I’m the same person. You know me.”
“Except I don’t know you, do I!” I screamed. “You’re…you’re…. How could you keep this from me our whole lives?”
“We’re not supposed to tell humans about our existence because humans can’t handle the truth. They say maybe one in a thousand humans can accept us. Even my own mother couldn’t deal with it. After I was born, my dad finally told her the truth about himself and she freaked. That’s the reason she split. They’d been married for six years, and when she learned the truth she just up and left. I was three years old. We never saw her again. Dani, I was terrified that if I told you I would lose you too.”
“I thought you said you weren’t a coward.” My heart wasn’t in the taunt. I was just going through the motions. I turned away from him, took a few steps further away and then sat down in the grass—forgetting entirely about the lace dress I was wearing.
“Say something,” Russ begged.
“I don’t know what to say.”
Not human. Russ—my Russ—wasn’t human. It was so insane I couldn’t even process it. I had no idea what I was supposed to think or how I was supposed to feel. I was numb.
Russ was now standing above me. “Are you okay?” he asked as he dropped to sit.
“No,” I admitted. “I’m not okay. I’m very, very not okay.”
Russ’s face crumpled and after another minute of silence he sat back and pulled his knees up to his chest. I’d never seen him vulnerable before. It made him look like he was twelve years old again. Somewhere deep inside me I wanted to reach out to him and comfort him. I didn’t like seeing him this way, and I especially didn’t like knowing that I was the reason he was so unsure of himself right now.
He ran his hand through his hair and I half expected him to start ripping it out. “What can I do?” he asked. “How can I help you with this?”
That was a really good question, but it was one I wasn’t ready to think about. “You can’t. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now.”
“Okay, so you need a little time. I can give you that.”
Time? What I needed was a nice, long nap. Or better yet, I needed something normal. Something completely mundane and human. And not at all freaky-magical-nonhuman-best-friend-ish.
“I have to go.” I got to my feet, shaking, but steady enough. “I—I—” And then it hit me—exactly what I needed. “I’ve got a date in half an hour.”
I spent that half an hour staring at myself in my vanity after putting on the necklace Russ gave me. The whole thing was weird, but what could I do? Russ was the most important person in my life. Like I was just going to abandon him? I knew I couldn’t live without him, and I couldn’t even help thinking that he and I could have a lot of fun with magic.
But when I started thinking about things like all the freaky ways we could torture deputy McHale, it only made me mad at myself. I should have been having a harder time accepting this. Russ said maybe one in a thousand people could accept it. But it’s not like I could deny it. I mean, I saw with my own eyes what he did.
The thing that had me the most upset was just that he’d kept it from me for so long. Here I thought I knew everything about him and yet he could still drop a bomb that big? Totally uncool, by the way, for him to do that to me an hour before my first date. When I was ready to speak to him again I’d be sure to let him know that.
By the time Conor picked me up and my mom had enough pictures to fill an entire scrapbook, I’d pushed my emotions deep enough so that I was ready to have fun and blow off some steam in a completely Russ-free environment.
. . . . .
A couple of hours into the evening I said, “Thank you for bringing me tonight, Conor. I really needed this.”
I’ve never been a big fan of dances, but I was having a surprisingly okay time.
Considering.
The decorations committee had really gone all out, making the school gym almost unrecognizable with its tacky Under The Sea theme. It was easy to get caught up in the event and forget all the stress I’d been dealing with. Even the restlessness that had been plaguing me seemed minimal so far.
“It’s my pleasure,” Conor told me as he led us over to the punch. “Honestly, if I’d had any idea you were single all this time I would have asked you out sooner.”
“Well, I’m glad it finally came up.”
“And I’m just happy you’re mom finally let us out of the house. Russ was right about her and her camera.”
I rolled my eyes. “I think she has my entire life documented in volumes separated out by months. It’s the historian in her.”
“I also have to admit I’m relieved.” Conor handed me a glass of punch. “When I came to get you I half expected Russ to show up and knock my front teeth out or something.”
Conor grabbed his own glass of punch and we headed for a vacant table.
“I told you Russ and I are just friends.”
“I know. I just had a hard time believing it. I still have a hard time believing it. I also can’t believe you said yes to a date with me. I’m not sure how I got so lucky.”
“You’re very sweet, that’s how.” Conor held out my chair for me like a gentleman. “And fun. I really am having a wonderful time tonight.”
Conor started to take his seat and I felt a strange sensation prickle the air around me. The hairs on my arms stood on end and I felt all tingly. Then, as Conor sat down the chair collapsed beneath him sending him crashing to the floor.
“Conor!”
“I’m all right.” He picked himself up off the ground and brushed himself off. “Nothing hurt but my ego. I don’t know what happened. I think that chair is missing a leg.”
“But it seemed fine a second ago,” I said, and then realized Conor was covered in punch. “Oh, no, your tux. You’re all wet.”
Conor shrugged a little sheepishly. “At least it’s only a rental. Would you mind if I leave you for a minute? See if I can clean up a little?”
“Of course not. I’ll just wait right here.”
Conor wasn’t gone thirty seconds before Russ pulled out the broken chair and spun it around.
“Careful. That chair is—” Russ straddled the chair and it held his weight effortlessly. “—just fine,” I said, completely confused.
“Seems in perfect condition to me.”
Russ grinned really huge at me but I couldn’t share his good mood. I was not ready to face him yet.
“What are you doing here?” I cringed when I said this and knew that I sounded completely terrified of him.
“You didn’t think I was going to miss your first date, did you?” Russ glanced toward the exit Conor had just scampered through and smirked. “Seems like it’s going well.”
I couldn’t believe he was laughing and joking with me as if nothing had happened. “No, Russ, I mean what are you doing here? You said you were going to give me time.”
Russ’s brow knitted in confusion. “It’s been two hours.”
“Two hours is not time enough for something like this!”
I waited for Russ to get serious but he continued to be his casual self. After he stole the punch from my hands and downed it, he shrugged like everything was cool. “You want to dance with me?” he asked as he put the empty cup back in my hands.
I stared at the cup like it was the one who’d just asked me to dance. “How can you act like
nothing happened?” I shouted.
Russ glared at me, mad for drawing even more attention to our conversation, but if that’s what it took for him to be serious, then so be it.
“I’m just being me. What do you want me to do? Start acting weird around you? That will only make this harder.”
People were really staring at us. The rumors had been insane today at school. I could only imagine what my classmates were thinking now. I let go a half-crazed laugh. Whatever they assumed it definitely wasn’t the truth.
Russ watched me—like he was afraid I was cracking up. Truth be told I might have been. After all, I’d just learned that my best friend was Harry Potter.
Russ pinned me with a serious look and spoke in a low calm tone. “You’re going to accept this. You will be the one in a thousand who can handle the truth.” He paused a minute—I think to steady his voice. “You have to. I need you to.”
I felt the blood drain from my face. I don’t know what scared me more, his confession or all the raw emotion he was throwing at me. Russ had his heart on his sleeve for the first time in his life, and he was begging me to handle it with care.
“Dani.” He pulled my hand into his.
I’d been so stunned that I’d forgotten what happened when we touched and the surge of energy surprised me. I ripped my hand away from his, flinching when I saw naked fear in his eyes. I wanted to tell him it was okay but that would have been a lie. I was scared.
When our skin came into contact, this wave of energy so warm and addictive came rushing through me, filling me up as though Russ was matching up with me in some strange way. I’d been able to pass it off as my own crazy hormones before, but now I wasn’t so sure.
Who knew how warlocks worked? I sure as hell didn’t. Were humans physically addicted to them? Were they dangerous? Was it something that just happened, or something that Russ was consciously doing in order to make me like him? I didn’t want to think Russ could do that, but apparently I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did. After a minute of staring at one another while our classmates looked on, I reached up and fingered the jewelry hanging around my neck.
“I knew that would look good on you,” Russ said.
I was grateful for the change in subject. I blushed as I clutched the necklace. “I hope you don’t mind that I wore it.”
I’d put it on tonight because it reminded me of Russ—my Russ, my best friend, the person who I loved more than anything in the world. I’d found it comforting. Even if I couldn’t handle being near him, I still had a piece of him. But now I realized the necklace he gave me felt warm and tingly just like him and it scared me just as much.
Russ looked at me with a pained expression that was gone so fast I may have imagined it. “Why would I mind?” he asked. “Wearing it was kind of the point of giving it to you. I hope you’ll wear it all the time so that you don’t forget me when you run off with Conor and start having his babies.”
“Russ! Shut UP!”
Behind us, Conor cleared his throat.
“You’re back!” I said. I prayed he hadn’t heard Russ’s comment.
Russ stood and held out the chair for Conor. “Here you go, man. I was just keeping it warm for you.”
“Don’t worry about it. I think I’ve had enough sitting.” Conor eyed the chair with confusion, and held out a hand to me. “I came to dance with the prettiest girl in school.”
“Well, then.” I smiled, grateful to have an excuse to leave Russ. “I won’t make you wait any longer.”
I didn’t look back as Conor led me to the dance floor.
“You okay?” Conor asked.
“Huh?”
“You look shaken up. Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just, things are a little weird with Russ right now.”
Conor’s face fell in disappointment and he asked, “Is that why you came with me tonight?”
It totally was, but I denied it. “No. You asked me out and I thought it’d be fun to come. Things between Russ and me were weird before that. I didn’t think he’d show tonight. I’m sorry you’re caught in the middle of it.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Conor asked. The question surprised me and Conor blushed. “I know you don’t really have any other friends besides Russ,” he explained. “If you need someone to talk to, I don’t mind.”
“Thanks but the last thing I want to do right now is talk about it. What I could really use is a distraction. A stress free night where I can just have fun.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Conor promised.
“Thanks.”
Conor and I walked over to a less crowded corner of the gym where they had brought in an inflatable pool and filled it with live goldfish. We stared at the fish for a minute and then Conor laughed. “Distracting enough for you?”
“Seriously.” I nodded. “What were they thinking?”
“Is it any worse than what they did at the Valentines dance last year with all those little naked cupid dolls?”
“I don’t know. This is the first dance I’ve been to.”
“Really?” Conor pulled me into his arms and we began to sway with the music.
“Actually, this is my first real date,” I admitted before I could stop myself. I looked down at our feet when I felt my face turn red. “Other than hanging out with Russ of course, which doesn’t really count.”
“Why not?”
I shrugged my shoulders and still couldn’t look at anything besides our shoes. “My mom always says if he doesn’t hold your hand or kiss you good night, it’s not a real date.”
“So if this is a real date, does that mean you’re giving me permission to kiss you tonight?”
We stopped dancing and I looked up to meet Conor’s gaze. He was grinning and I managed a nervous smile in return. Slowly, he lowered his face to mine and I got that feeling again. The electricity was back in the air, the tingly sensation pricking at my skin. Somehow I just knew something bad was about to happen. I stepped out of Conor’s arms. “Do you feel that?”
Conor took a step backward, worried that maybe he’d been too forward since I’d interrupted his attempted kiss. That’s when I noticed that his shoes were tied together. I tried to warn him, but it was already too late. He was stumbling backward and heading straight for the goldfish pond.
I panicked. I couldn’t stand to see him fall into the pool. Not after he’d already taken one embarrassing spill. I threw my hand out to him and yelled the first thing that came to my mind.
“STOP!”
I felt a wall of energy leave me, and then I collapsed to the floor, exhausted.
When I looked up, I screamed. The world around me had stopped. Everyone at the dance stood frozen like statues in some sort of enchanted fairy tale. Conor hung in the air, mid-fall.
Magic. It was all too much. I started to panic. My breathing quickened until I was on the verge of hyperventilating. My vision blurred as tears welled in my eyes. Bile rose in my throat, and everything felt like it was spinning.
“Dani?” I heard Russ shout and frantically whirled around to see him crossing through the sea of frozen students to me. “Dani!”
“Why are you doing this to me?” I screamed at him then buried my face in my arms as if I could will away the moment. “Fix it! Make it go away!”
“Dani,” Russ said calmly. He took my arms away from my head. I fought him but he wouldn’t let go. “Dani, calm down. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay! FIX IT! Now!”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t? Why can’t you?”
“Because I didn’t do this.” Russ’s grip on my arms tightened and he took a deep breath before locking his eyes on mine. “You did.”
“I…uuuucckk….” I almost vomited, but then I swallowed hard to yell, “No, no, no, no, no!”
My head was shaking so fast Russ had to grab it with both hands before I gave myself brain damage. He held my face to where I had to stare into his eyes. �
�Everything’s going to be okay. Okay? You’re okay. It’s okay.”
He kept saying that word, okay. I don’t think he understood what it meant.
My eyes finally spilled over with tears.
“I’m an idiot for not having figured it out,” Russ muttered. “I knew something was going on because I’ve been so much more drawn to you lately, I just never dreamed…. Everything makes so much sense now.”
“Everything makes sense?” I cried. “How can you say that? None of this makes sense!”
“Dani, you’re a witch.”
“I am not!”
Russ nodded. “You’re a witch. You cast a spell to keep Conor from falling.”
“But I—I—” I thought about it and as impossible as it seemed it did make sense. I’d definitely felt some sort of power leave me when I yelled.
I collapsed again and broke into violent sobs. Russ pulled me into his arms and cradled me against his chest. At the moment I was so weak I had no choice but to let his intense energy wash over me.
Russ began raking his fingers through my hair. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but everything is going to be okay. More than okay. Dani, this changes everything.”
Russ’s voice had become a whisper and he brushed his thumb over my lips. He’d never touched me like that in all my life. It was more than just shocking—it sent a raging surge of desire through me like I’d never felt before. I gasped, but Russ didn’t pull his fingers away from my face.
“Don’t you understand what this means?” he asked, smiling warmly.
No. I didn’t understand what it meant. Any of it. And suddenly I had a very strong impression that I didn’t want to understand it. I’d reached my limit. One more secret, one more truth, one more explanation and I might very well explode.
Russ’s fingers came to rest at the corner of my mouth and he whispered my name like it was a caress. His face started to come down toward mine.
“No!” I scrambled away from him. I’m not sure why. “Don’t! Please don’t do that. Don’t go there. Just…. I can’t handle this. Leave me alone. I have to go home.”
Russ went rigid and then as soon as he could mask his hurt, his face went blank—no emotion whatsoever. It was like he simply shut down and stopped feeling. I envied him.
