Chameleon (Supernaturals)
Page 15
Gabriel frowned. “I do not know what—”
“They just gave me to you like I didn’t matter.”
“That is not true, Danielle. You do matter. You matter more than anyone else. That is why the council gave me to you.”
I’d had an argument on my tongue but it evaporated.
“It is you who is the Chosen One,” Gabriel went on. “You who had a vision of us together. You whom the council is trying to accommodate. Not me. I am the one who fears I will not be able to live up to the prophecy. I do not have the slightest idea how to become your true love. I was apprehensive to tell you about myself just now because your attitude is very poor, and I fear you would only use anything you learn as fuel for your hatred.”
I couldn’t hide my shock, but Gabriel didn’t stop there.
“You think I do not see how you resent me? How you hate the council and are unwilling to consider me because it is what they want? I am sorry you are unhappy, but do not make the mistake of believing that you are the only one struggling with this arrangement.”
Geez. Suddenly I knew how the council felt earlier. Which, if you’re wondering, was about two inches tall.
I turned away from him and stared out the window. Below me the great city of New York stretched out for miles and miles. Light after light after light. And here I stood, perched in my castle above it all as if I were the ruler over the entire world. Gabriel deserved to be here. I didn’t.
A minute later Gabriel handed me a bathrobe. “Will you come with me somewhere?”
I didn’t ask where we were going. I simply tugged on the bathrobe and followed him back down through the hallway of the council’s apartments. Once we reached the end, instead of getting in the elevator and heading downstairs to the conference room like we’d done earlier, Gabriel led me out onto the observation deck.
“This building used to be open to the public until the council purchased it,” Gabriel said as I was hit by a wall of chilly autumn wind. I cinched my robe tighter and Gabriel put his arm around me. The gesture, though I’m sure he meant it to be kind, made me feel royally guilty. It would have been so much easier if he would just be pissed off at me the way Russ would have been.
“Once there were no more tourists coming out here, the council had this deck converted into a garden.”
As Gabriel said the words, we rounded the corner and walked into what had to be the closest thing to heaven on earth. There were trees and plants and flowers everywhere that were lush and green and in full bloom despite the late season. It also got much warmer.
I could feel a slight hint of magic at hand and knew the garden was spelled but that didn’t upset me. It was impossible not to relax and enjoy my new surroundings. Even the lights of the city were no longer foreign or intimidating. The view was simply breathtaking.
Gabriel led me to a stone bench beneath a blossoming cherry tree. “The entire garden has been placed under a tranquility spell,” Gabriel explained. “If you ever need to put yourself at ease you are always welcome to come here. This bench is where I spend most of my sleepless nights.”
“Alone?”
The word just slipped from my mouth. It surprised Gabriel as much as it did me. He managed a smile. “Not tonight.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. Russ would have died from shock to hear those words escape my lips, but the guilt was eating away at me. “I did assume that this was what you wanted and I shouldn’t have.”
“It is what I want,” Gabriel said carefully. “But that is not to say that I find it easy.”
I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but I wasn’t angry anymore.
We were quiet so long that Gabriel finally said, “I got the tattoos because of a vision I had.”
I wanted to know more but didn’t want to push Gabriel so I sat in silence and hoped he would elaborate. It took him a minute, but he decided to trust me with the story.
“The boy in my vision was nephilim—a descendant of both human and angel. The nephilim, when they reach a certain age and start their training to become the warriors they were born to be, are then given the mark of their clan.”
“A tattoo?”
Gabriel nodded. “A tattoo that I used to identify this boy’s clan and find him. Much like you did tonight with the woman in the village.”
“Oh.”
I couldn’t help feeling disappointed. This was a nice story and all, but it didn’t explain why Gabriel chose to get a tattoo himself. It answered my question and still managed to tell me nothing about what kind of person he was. I supposed I couldn’t blame him for not trusting me.
We sat in silence again and I refused to pry. I wasn’t sure how I would ever gain his trust, but after the things he’d said I felt like I needed to prove myself. I needed to earn his respect almost as much as I needed his energy.
Actually, at that moment, I just needed him in general. I took his hand and leaned my head on his shoulder. Then I let out the breath I’d been holding when he didn’t push me away.
“The cravings?” he asked curiously. “Are you uncomfortable? If you need, we can—”
“No,” I said quickly. I didn’t want to know how he would finish that sentence. “It’s not that. I’m just…” I hated to admit this, but I did anyway, “…lonely.”
“I am here for you Danielle. You need not feel alone.”
“I do though. I have so many things I want to say, and a million questions I want to ask, but I don’t know how, or if I should.” I sighed. “I wish Russ was here because then I wouldn’t have to say anything. He would just know what I was thinking and how to make me feel better. He has a gift for being able to cheer me up.”
“I envy him that,” Gabriel said. He gazed off, refusing to look at me almost like he felt ashamed. “I have not been able to put a smile on your face yet, no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I fear I will never accomplish it.”
Gabriel didn’t realize it, but he was the king of guilt trips. “Actually, you did make me smile once, you just didn’t know it,” I admitted, hoping to cheer him up a little.
When Gabriel sent me a questioning look I grinned despite myself. “I smiled tonight, when I noticed your tattoos.”
I was blushing, and I had to look away.
“I was intrigued. People don’t usually surprise me that much,” I explained. “I’m angry, but I’m not stupid. As much as I want to hate you and blame you for what’s happened, I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life miserable. Tonight was the first time I thought it might be possible to like you. It felt like hope.”
Gabriel fell into deep thought. I couldn’t handle the pressure of his stare so I rose to my feet. “Believe whatever you want about my attitude, but I am trying to deal with this.”
I walked through the garden and went close to the edge of the building where I could really get lost in the view. After a minute I felt Gabriel come up behind me.
“Did you know I’ve never been to a city this large before?” I said as I gazed out at the sea of buildings. I’d looked out the windows a lot since coming here and was never able to not be overwhelmed by it. “Not just New York, but any large city. I’ve seen pictures, but my parents hated traveling, so I’ve never been east of Hershey until now.”
“Never?”
I shook my head. “Russ came here once when he was twelve and he loved it. He wanted us to go to college here. When I said I didn’t think I’d like it and wanted to stay in Carmine he promised he was going to bring me here after graduation and show me how stupid that was. He was right. This place is incredible. I’m sad he’ll never get to say ‘I told you so.’ That’s his favorite phrase.”
“It must be frightening,” Gabriel said, “being in a place so different than what you are used to with no one you know or trust.”
I shrugged. It was terrifying, but I didn’t want to sound like a baby.
“I apologize for being short with you earlier.”
I shrugged again.
“I deserved it.”
Gabriel leaned against the ledge of the building. There was a tall iron fence to keep people from tumbling over the side, but still, we were so high up I didn’t know how he could go so close to the edge without having a heart attack.
“Normally the visions I have are of extreme violence that needs to be prevented, or perhaps of an important person who needs to be guided in a certain direction,” Gabriel said. “But, once, I stumbled into a vision of a very different nature.”
Gabriel didn’t spell it out for me exactly, but it didn’t take a genius to understand what he meant. “The boy with the tattoo?” I asked.
“Yes. When I came into the vision he was with a human girl. It was the first time I’d ever experienced a vision like that and it has not happened since.”
“I wonder why you had a vision of that.”
“It became obvious soon enough when the two were discovered by the boy’s best friend. The nephilim are a very proud race and would consider any relationship outside of their own species disgraceful. But to be with a human is especially abominable. The two nephilim became very angry with each other and the human girl was accidentally killed. The devastated boy retaliated by killing his friend. The dispute led to a brutal war between their two clans.”
“Oh.”
“The violence I was used to, but the rest of it? I was confused and curious. The Councilor gave me a book that answered my questions, but I couldn’t get the vision out of my head.”
I was stunned. That’s how he learned the difference between boys and girls? The Councilor gave him a book after he saw a couple going at it? Man, my parents deserved an award compared to that.
“I wanted a tattoo after that because….”
Gabriel hesitated, embarrassed. I knew the polite thing to do would be to tell him he didn’t have to explain, but morbid curiosity kept me silent.
“It was the way the girl in the vision was so fascinated by his tattoo. I was thinking of how it might be someday when I had a mate.”
Speaking of deserving awards: Most. Awkward. Moment. Ever.
And I mean ever.
“So what does it mean? Your tattoo. What do the symbols stand for?” I asked, grasping for any way to move the conversation along.
Gabriel looked just as relieved for the subject change as me. “It says three words; serenity, courage and wisdom.”
“Oh.”
Gabriel smiled. “It is from Reinhold Niebuhr’s Serenity Prayer. ‘God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.’”
“Good quote.”
Gabriel looked at me almost ruefully. “It is sage advice, Danielle.”
I knew what he meant, but I wasn’t ready for that conversation. “I’m surprised El Capitan let you do it. I can’t picture him as the tattoo type either.”
Gabriel let my subject change slide and nodded. “It is true the Councilor was opposed to the idea. Even now I believe he still disapproves.”
I raised a brow at that. Gabriel defying the Councilor was as surprising as him wanting a tattoo in the first place. “So how did you get him to go for it?”
Gabriel tried not to smile but the glint in his eyes gave him away. “I believe the Creator blessed me with a talent for receiving the outcomes of my desire.”
I couldn’t help myself and burst into laughter. Gabriel was startled but also looked proud to have made me laugh. “I don’t doubt that,” I said to him. “Anyone who can get me to say I’m sorry for any reason has a rare gift indeed. And the way you told the council to stick it when they tried to kick me out of the conference room? I think they actually believed you’d have let those people die.”
“I would have.”
He said it so gravely I couldn’t argue and my playful mood was gone again.
“Sometimes the council needs to be reminded of who is really in charge,” he said.
“You?” I asked. I couldn’t keep the astonishment out of my voice.
Gabriel chuckled. “I meant the Creator. The council does well to rule over our people, but the Creator blessed us with you for a reason. It was arrogant and ungrateful of them not to accept your help when you were willing to give it. They needed to see how important you are. Ignoring that vision would not have been ideal, but I would have kept my word. I would have let those people die to make my point.”
Gabriel grimaced when he saw whatever expression was on my face. “I am the Seer, Danielle. In that role, I do not have the luxury of always doing what I want. I often have to make very difficult choices, as does anyone in a position of power. It is like the Councilor and what he did with you. Even I did not understand how he could do such a thing to you, but I see now how it was necessary and am thankful he had the courage to do it.”
I gasped. “You actually believe what he did to me was necessary?”
“I am starting to, yes.”
“Yeah, well you won’t get me to believe it. I don’t see how I’m any better off than I was. Now I’m just a slave to you instead of Russ.”
“Danielle, we have been through this. You are not a slave to me.”
“Wanna bet?” I grumbled. “Do you have any idea what it feels like when you leave the room? I woke up tonight and panicked when you weren’t lying next to me. I don’t feel right if I’m not physically touching you. If that’s not a form of slavery, then by all means, explain to me what it is because it’s sure as hell not normal.”
Gabriel lifted his shoulders and let them drop. “Perhaps it is merely the tattoos. Maybe that is why the Councilor did not wish me to get them.”
My jaw fell open in amazement. “Did you just make a joke?” I asked. I was pretty sure sense-of-humor was not in Gabriel’s vocabulary.
Gabriel’s answering smile was so serene I couldn’t tell if he was serious or not. “What you are feeling toward me right now is just the cravings,” he assured me. “I experienced all these same feelings with the Councilor when I came into my power.”
Uh, considering how dry my mouth got every time I looked at Gabriel’s lips that was a very disgusting thought. “I sincerely hope not.”
Gabriel tucked my hair behind my ear and let his fingers linger on my cheek. “Perhaps it was a little different for me,” he relented.
“A lot different,” I said fighting off a shudder.
Gabriel pulled his hand back when he felt me shiver. “Come, Danielle. It is very late.”
As we climbed into bed, which was admittedly a little more awkward than it had been before, Gabriel rolled over to face me. “I am grateful that you are trying to do the right thing, Danielle. Thank you for tonight.”
I shook my head. “Don’t think so highly of me. I only helped tonight because I couldn’t stand to see those people die. I didn’t do it for the council.”
“That is not what I mean, though I was very appreciative of your help earlier as well. Tonight is the first you have ever spoken to me beyond necessity.” Gabriel smiled another one of his sad smiles. “I know you feel like a prisoner and do not want to be paired with me. It means a great deal to me that you are kind despite your feelings.”
And there he went again, making me feel guilty for not being excited about our marriage. “You were nice to me first,” I said. “Makes it really hard to be mad at you.” And then because I couldn’t resist I added, “Plus, you know, I couldn’t help myself because your tattoos are super hot.”
Gabriel looked for a second like he didn’t know what I meant but he eventually said, “You are teasing me?”
When I cracked a smile Gabriel rolled onto his back. After a yawn and a stretch he smiled at the ceiling. “I believe there is hope for our future, Danielle.”
I was surprised to realize I felt the same.
“Good afternoon!” Gabriel chirped brightly when I came stumbling from the bedroom.
“Is it really afternoon?”
“You needed the rest. How do you feel
?”
“I’m starting to feel more normal,” I admitted. “I mean, not—the cravings are still there, but it feels more like before I came here.”
“Good.” Gabriel held out his hand. I came to him and he put my palm to his face. “You do feel stronger,” he told me. “And I am glad for it because I have a surprise for you.”
“A surprise?” I asked confused.
Gabriel beamed at me. “Go get showered and dressed, and—” He hesitated, then blushed as he asked, “If it would not be too much trouble, could you do whatever it is that you do to your hair that keeps it from looking like that?” He pointed at my head.
“Straighten it?”
Gabriel’s glossy eyes sparkled with mischief. “You are always beautiful, but I am very partial to the way it looks when it is tamed.”
I was startled by his attempt to be playful. I hadn’t realized he could be anything but serious. “Are—are you trying to flirt with me?” I asked.
Gabriel knitted his eyebrows in confusion. “Flirt?”
“Never mind,” I said.
“I am excited, Danielle.” He was more than excited. He was giddy. “I have been waiting hours for you to wake. Please hurry or it will become dark and your surprise will be ruined.”
“All right, all right.” I laughed, and headed back toward the bathroom in somewhat of a daze.
“You may need a sweater,” Gabriel called to me.
Gabriel’s face brightened when I finally immerged, dressed and ready to go with my hair as straight as I could get it. I would have blushed except he was literally bouncing with anticipation.
“So,” I said. “What kind of surprise are we talking about?”
“I was thinking of what you said, about how humans choose their own mates. I asked the Councilor about it this morning and he explained what you meant when you said ‘they date.’ You meant courtship right?”
“That’s totally a word my great grandma would use, but yeah. Dating is basically like courting. Why?”