This Mum Runs

by Jo Pavey

  Then I realised I’d forgotten my overnight bag! I had to text a team official to ask if it had been picked up from the warm-down track and taken back to the village.

  The next day was both lovely, in that I spent wonderful quality time in my old family house, but also embarrassing. Because the house was about to go on the market, it was empty apart from a few essential items, so I had no clothes there. I had arranged to meet up with Denise, a friend from my antenatal class, with Jacob and her son Zane and I turned up wearing clothes from an Olympics goodie bag I’d given Gav to bring home from the team lodge a couple of days previously. Thank goodness I’d done that or else I’d have had to wear the competition kit I’d travelled home in the night before! I’d usually wear normal clothes to meet a friend for lunch, but I turned up in brand-new sports kit with a colourful Union flag on the front, which screamed, ‘Look at me, I’m an athlete.’ But I had no choice!

  Later, I went back to the Athletes’ Village for the Closing Ceremony. We had a fun team photo before we left the village, and it was a great evening. Athletes had a prime position for the spectacular show, standing in the in-field, and we were all finally able to relax.

  Two seventh places weren’t my best Olympic performances, but I was very satisfied to be the first non-African athlete in both the 10,000m and the 5,000m. Ironically, I felt more competitive in the 5k, and afterwards I wondered if I might have achieved a higher finish position if I hadn’t run the 10,000m days before. But then I’d run a PB in that. It was encouraging that I definitely wasn’t slowing down at thirty-eight.

  The year ended on a high. I was very pleased to win the Great South Run, one of my favourite road races, for the second time in my career. There were a lot of positives to take away from London 2012 – most of which would come to fruition two years down the line.

  CHAPTER 23

  Emily

  We’d always planned to have more than one child. And now Jacob was getting to the age where a sibling felt like a pressing issue. While my running was going well, time was ticking by and Gav and I both felt it was the right moment to expand our family. Not knowing whether my running career was over for good or not, we decided to move to our final family home in a lovely village near Ottery St Mary in Devon regardless. I would be further from the canal running trail but we had to think of our family life too, and I knew it was likely as I approached forty that I was probably as good as retired from competitive running. Jacob would soon be getting to the age where his name would need to be put down for the local primary school, and we wanted him to be settled with friends at the village pre-school. We soon settled in and have made some great friends here.

  Again, we were very lucky and I got pregnant pretty much straightaway. This pregnancy, though, was much tougher. I’d had rather horrible morning sickness with Jacob, but it was worse second time around. People said this can be the case if you are expecting a girl as there are more female hormones circulating. I don’t know how much truth there is to that, but it definitely seemed true for me. It was also a bit daunting knowing at the outset that I had months of nausea and fatigue ahead of me, even though I knew of course it would be worth it. The first time you get pregnant, you have no other little one to care for. Now we had another child to look after and I wanted to spend quality time with Jacob, knowing that life would soon be a bit crazy for him as well as us once we had a newborn in the family, so I chose to do less exercise during my second pregnancy. I also knew that this time round, with Jacob to consider, there would be less time to rest. I continued to jog most days for a maximum of 40 minutes, taking days off when I felt tired, as I had done in my first pregnancy, but I certainly didn’t have the time to add in the odd aqua-jogging or stationary bike session.

  The pregnancy was difficult at times. I had terrible insomnia and sickness so I’d sometimes be up half the night lying on the sofa, gazing blankly at the TV. The nausea often felt like it was going on for an eternity, but when I look back now, it seems like a sliver of time.

  Emily’s birth on 4 September 2013 was a far more straightforward affair than Jacob’s. I had elected to have a C-section because of what happened with Jacob. I would have loved the chance to experience a natural birth but I didn’t want to take any risks. My only concern was to bear a healthy child. Gav and I again had that surreal feeling going to bed the night before, knowing we’d have a new baby in the morning. When we were expecting Jacob, we hadn’t found out in advance whether he’d be a boy or girl. This time we knew we were having a girl. Thanks to Jacob, we had also known her name for a long time too. He was the first person we told when we learnt at my twenty-week scan that we were having a girl. Emily had been one of our favourite names, but Jacob immediately began to refer to my bump as ‘Emily’ and often asked in the morning during my pregnancy whether ‘Emily’ was ‘out yet’.

  While we went to hospital with pink sleep suits rather than neutral ones this time, the emotions were the same when our new baby was handed to me. Gav and I were overjoyed. We looked into her little eyes. She was perfect, not as small as Jacob had been, but still quite a titchy 6lb 4oz.

  As a baby, Emily was much luckier than her brother and didn’t suffer from the distressing reflux that had caused him so much anguish. We were now a family of four, with all the happy chaos that goes along with having a young child and a baby. Jacob loved having a sister and has always been great with her. In between seeing to his needs, feeding Emily, trying to keep up with domestic chores and snatching some sleep, it was time to get back on the treadmill again. Could I possibly maintain a running career now I was a mother of two?

  Gav and I discussed the situation and decided to give it a go. We thought it would be lovely if I could represent the country just one more time. It was probably unrealistic, I thought, given that I wouldn’t allow running to encroach on enjoying time with my newborn and breastfeeding her – especially as the trials for the 10,000m were in May 2014, earlier than for other track events.

  When I’m at a big road race, I love being able to chat afterwards to runners from all walks of life. People often ask me how I juggle my training around being a busy mum, and with ‘being old’! I admit things are crazy at times, but in a positive way. At this later stage of my career it’s nice to share stories with other runners who are also managing to fit their athletic lives around a family. I can truly relate to that now. Earlier in my career, all I had to do was focus on running. I used to go on training camps all over the world and my routine was simply a matter of training, eating, sleeping and going out for a civilised coffee. Now, apart from the compulsory holding camp in Portugal, I haven’t been away on a training camp for more than seven years; it’s just Gav and me working away together as athlete and coach in Devon. When I’m training I still push myself hard, trying to hit targets just as I always have. In many ways I push harder, feeling like if I’m to take a bit of time out of parent mode, I want to make it worth it. But the rest of the time I’m a busy mum at home. It has been a nice surprise to me that the huge switch in lifestyle hasn’t compromised my performance in the way I thought it might, and that I am enjoying life more. I know I am very lucky to have Gav’s support. He’s my husband, my coach, physio and best friend all in one. We have always been a team in everything, from getting the kids ready for the day to preparing my running schedule and I couldn’t do it without him. With Gav’s help I can fit my training around the kids and get it done somehow, whether that’s me popping out for a run, going on the treadmill, or us all going on a family outing to the track, canal or forest in the daytime – however hectic it might be. I know I’m fortunate that our sort of work-from-home situation, although rather chaotic at times, means we have been able to juggle things between us, and we feel extremely lucky to have lots of quality time with the children. Since becoming a mum I have found things have changed in the way I work both physically and mentally that have enabled me to combine being a mother with fitting in a serious amount of miles each week.

  These d
ays I treat a run or an interval session as a regular part of my day. It’s something I do and I’ll fit it in somewhere. Psychologically, being a mum has been helpful for me. It made a refreshing change to no longer have the time to worry in advance about how the sessions were going to go. I don’t dwell on it; I simply put on my kit and get on with it. I’m not one for strict timetables; I’d be permanently stressed if I felt a compulsion to run at precise times. Running is part of my daily routine but it’s flexible, fitting in around the needs of the kids, incorporating parties and play dates and trips out. I find I manage to squeeze in training one way or another, whether it’s early morning or 9 p.m. (that’s when the treadmill comes in handy). The mundane tasks in life often have to take a back seat. Sometimes you have to walk past the laundry pile and ignore the dirty dishes until later. On the whole, though, I take multi-tasking to an extreme. It may sound insane but I often do some strength and conditioning work, or core stability work, and do domestic chores in the short rests between exercises. It’s a good use of time. I can do an exercise then check on the dinner, then do some more, or deal with a few items of laundry. People would laugh if they saw it in action – and I’m not suggesting it’s particularly professional! Flexibility with training has always been an important part of our approach, but as I’ve grown older it’s taken on added meaning, and it’s now the bedrock of my continued participation at a competitive level. We runners can become fixated on our routines – having to run at a certain time, in a certain place, in certain conditions. Now? I go with the flow. When I’m out with the kids, I often have kit packed in the car in case I want to fit in a run somewhere random, rather than come home early to fit it in. I can’t always guarantee a nice flat road route or trail to run on. My backpacking days taught me to see potential training terrain in a variety of different places – whether that’s a sandy beach (good resistance) or hilly trails or a cricket ground – and I extended that view to time as well as place. Before I had kids I used to get more rest between training sessions. Now I often find myself chasing the kids along the beach or around parks or indoor play centres. Surprisingly, I think keeping constantly on the go has done me good. It definitely helps with the stamina!

  We regularly make training a family affair, all of us going to the track, the forest or the canal. I love that we can do this for many reasons. We can enjoy keeping fit as a family and show the kids that it’s fun to be active – and yet I also get my training done. It’s so much nicer than being off on a run on my own. I find it enjoyable, motivating and life enriching. We particularly love going to Haldon Forest and the Grand Western Canal, both a twenty-five-minute drive away. Although, as every parent knows, getting out of the house with young kids is something of a military operation. We have to get them ready to go out, pack everything they need – drinks, snacks, spare clothes, bike hats, nappies, wipes, toys and so on – as well as pack everything I need for training. Anyone who knows Gav and me would agree that we are superb at mislaying stuff, so it’s pretty chaotic as we rush around, running up and downstairs like yo-yos, trying to find everything. There is definitely huge room for improvement in our ability to get out the door! Gav then has to put the bikes on the rack and running buggy in the roof box. Eventually we get going, music on in the car, playing the soundtrack to Frozen, The Lego Movie or Moshi Monsters songs. On arrival we go through the procedure of getting the running buggy out of the roof box, and Jacob’s bike off the bike rack, and Gav’s bike too, if Emily is going on the bike seat on the back. Finally, after putting on coats and bike hats, we’re off.

  Jacob is pretty good on his bike. In fact, if we’re not careful, he can end up too far in the distance. So he has now been well drilled to know the stopping points he must keep to on our favoured loop of the forest and at the canal he knows to keep us in sight. This became imperative after a worrying experience when we were on holiday in Cornwall. I had gone on my own with Jacob to the Camel Trail for a run. He would normally keep me in sight, but he got overexcited about being somewhere new and took off on a downhill tarmacked stretch. I was shouting his name frantically as he disappeared into the distance. To my relief, a kind man who was out on bikes with his own family gave chase and retrieved him. I certainly made sure I reinforced the rules for future outings!

  Going on runs as a family has evolved from Jacob at first being the one in a running buggy or on the back of a bike, to then hanging back with Gav as he was mastering the skill of riding his own bike, to now being able to leave us all for dead! Emily meanwhile loves being in the buggy or on the back of the bike, watching the world rush by. After the run we can spend time in the sandpit at the kids’ play area and have a picnic. Emily rushes to see the huge wooden carving of the Gruffalo. At first she wouldn’t go anywhere near it: now she loves it. Jacob, meanwhile, can spend a lot of time having fun on the BMX course.

  Another challenge as a track and field athlete is to arrange the day around when the track is available. I can’t always use it when I want to, especially in the summer when there are so many school bookings and sports days. So Gav or I ring up at the start of the week, find out when we can use it and then formulate my training schedule. Gav will ring to find out about other tracks in Yeovil or Plymouth if necessary during crucial times of the year – although these are both a good hour’s drive away.

  The way we operate our track sessions with the kids varies. In the early days, it was impossible to be away from the baby. Now the situation is more flexible. We are there as a family of four pretty regularly, but sometimes I do a morning session and we may just have Emily now that Jacob is at school. Occasionally our parents join us at the track, or either set of parents will come over to our house to babysit so that Gav can do a bit of pacemaking for me at the track when it comes to the crunch before a championship. When my kids are at the track, I enjoy the session more. Jacob sometimes wants to join me on the warm-up and warm-down. Emily now does the warm-up with Gav in a running buggy, then has a go at running herself, with her cute little skipping style. Gav will often put out some little plastic hurdles and do some fun things with the kids on the side straight while I finish my warm-up. Sometimes Jacob does quite a lot of exercise at the track, sometimes he hardly does any at all and just plays on the grass bank. It’s up to him. He has fun going to clubs like tag rugby and swimming with his school friends. We want to let our kids try different things as they get older, and support them in the things they enjoy. If they want to run, we’ll obviously give them our backing but the main thing is to encourage them in their chosen passion.

  Day to day, for me to have my husband as my coach is a huge advantage. He is so supportive and, in addition to that, he makes it possible for me to be the mum I want to be by adapting our routine around family life. We’ve worked with some great coaches, but I wouldn’t be comfortable picking up the phone to another coach to say, ‘Actually I’m going to be at the track two hours later than we planned.’ It wouldn’t be fair to them. With Gav as my coach, if everything has to change and my schedule has to be adapted, it’s pretty easy for me to stroll into the next room and discuss it with my coach! My training routine becomes more rigid as important races approach, but at certain times of the year, I like to work hard but have even more flexibility with actual days as well as time of day. The kids’ needs and their happy childhoods are my top priority.

  Most parents agree that when you look back on the days before children you wonder what on earth you did with all the free time you used to have. How did you fill the day? I find the busier I am, the more efficient I become, albeit in our own rather hectic way. I’ve stopped worrying about the small stuff because I am focusing on what has to be done. I try to eat healthily – that’s important in helping your muscles to recover after a hard session. I have my recovery drink at the track. But if I call in at the supermarket to get a meal deal on the way home, it’s not the end of the world.

  I’ve discovered that in relaxing and allowing myself a bit of leeway, I’ve achieved more than
I thought was possible. I train hard but my priorities have changed, which I can see has been beneficial for my running. Before big training sessions or a race, I would use up time and energy to add more stress to what I was about to do. Now, I simply don’t have that option. Before an important training session, or in the last few days before a race, I’m more likely to be organising play dates and school runs, making sure there’s enough clean laundry and school clothes for rest of the week. I have found that having to make decisions about juggling training around the needs of the kids and having fun with them has actually made me make better decisions regarding my running.

  I’m more likely to listen to my body, as I need energy for life in general and not just for running. I enjoy the banter of being an older runner and it’s very complimentary, but to me age is just a number – as clichéd as that sounds. I still just try to get the times at the track like I always have. Gav and I have been working together as coach and athlete for many years now, and we realise that the great thing about getting older is that we’re able to use the knowledge and experience we’ve gained and find what works best for me. We frequently wish we had known when we were younger what we know now as it would have been so helpful!