The Courtship of Julian St. Albans (Consulting Magic Book 1)

by Amy Crook

  The warm shower waiting for him afterward was bliss.

  Special purifying soap washed away the residue of the salt bath and soothed his small pains, and he was just as thorough with it as he had been with the cold. He even used a neti pot full of warm saline to clean out his sinuses, and a specially designed ear washer to get the stinging salts out of his smarting ears. He also drank a good pint of cool, clear spring water, and by the time he stepped out of the shower and found the stack of fluffy unbleached cotton towels waiting for him, the buzzing magic had been reduced to a tiny shadow of itself, echoing around his ribcage but unable to insinuate itself back into his subtle body.

  He resisted the urge to wrap a towel around his waist and instead went naked into the next room, not the way he'd come but another chamber kept magically charged for situations such as these.

  Inside, Geoff was waiting for him with a smile on his face and a tiny cup of thick, sticky liqueur distilled from honey and purifying herbs and given a very potent magical charge by the order of monks who created it.

  Alex felt the spell trying to rise up in him, to burrow down to his more easily-influenced parts, but the magic crowding the room stifled it, kept it trapped, squeezed it down until it was just a tiny, angrily buzzing little bee right at the centre of his chest.

  Geoff lifted the cup, pouring the liquid into his own mouth and then stepping forward to place one hand on either side of Alex's head, his thin white robe brushing all along Alex's front as they kissed. The magical liqueur spilled into his mouth and he swallowed reflexively, taking that magic into himself and feeling it spread through him in a white-gold wave, splitting the remains of the spell up and shoving it out his fingertips until there was nothing left but light.

  The tangling of their tongues as the power faded was not, strictly speaking, part of the ritual, but Alex couldn't bring himself to object.

  "Mmm, not how I'd imagined a first kiss going," said Geoff with a chuckle as he stepped away.

  "Hard to live up to," teased Alex, trying to pretend he was comfortable standing there naked, his whole scrawny, pale body on display before he'd had a chance to impress the man with his other, more inspiring attributes. Not to say that he was below average, but he'd always been a man whose full talents took time to fully unfold.

  So to speak.

  Geoff gave him another look and then sighed. "I will say it's a shame you're being Courted, but it's probably for the best. If there's any spell residue hiding on your clothes or artefacts, I couldn't find it anywhere but the gloves, but we should avoid," he chuckled, "extra-curricular contact, at least for a few weeks until we're sure you're free of its influence."

  "Go and be all wise and practical while I'm standing here naked, why don't you," said Alex, sounding petulant even to his own ears.

  Geoff grinned, surprised. "Patient," he said, running a single finger down Alex's sternum and sending a shiver through his body. "I'm being patient."

  Alex took a deep breath and nodded. "I suppose I can handle patient," he said, then he cocked his head and grinned impishly, "as long as I don't have to keep doing it naked."

  "Yes, yes, clothes are through here," said Geoff with a laugh, leading Alex to a small room where Alex's things were all laid out on a metal exam table, and Geoff's scrubs were hanging nearby. Geoff grabbed the collar of his white robe and winked. "All's fair," he said, lifting it off over his head to reveal his own, rather more fit, naked body. Unlike Alex's fish-belly pallor, Geoff's skin was a warm honey colour that looked like velvet stretched over the contours of muscle and sinew and bone. The shock of hair around his thick cock was a chestnut brown, darker than the stuff on his head but not by too much, the same way his hands were nearly the same colour as the skin on his taut abdomen.

  "Either you don't get much sun, or you're a nude sunbather," blurted Alex, dragging his attention away from Geoff's dusky pink nipples to his grinning face.

  "The former," he said, snagging a pair of underwear from the hook and slipping them on, giving Alex a very nice view of his arse before hiding it all away again. "Not a lot of sun down here, in case you hadn't noticed."

  "Me, neither," said Alex, gesturing to his own body, though he did take Geoff's cue and snag his underpants from the pile while he was at it. He did turn and give Geoff the same show, since he considered his arse one of his best and most oft-hidden assets, but he was blushing at his own boldness when he turned back.

  "I like you pale," was all he said, but Alex could see the interest in his eyes had sharpened another degree.

  "Someone has to," said Alex with resignation that was only a little bit true, and they both began to get properly dressed again, though Alex took a bit longer, given the complexity of his clothing. He liked the watch so much he didn't much mind the waistcoat and jacket, but he never would learn to like cravats, so he left it off this time, stiff collar hanging open and the tie pin wrapped in the silk and stuck in a pocket of his jacket. "There, now I look properly debauched," said Alex with a wink.

  "If I wasn't worried about your reputation," said Geoff, opening the door back into the main infirmary hallway, "I'd show you what properly debauched really looks like."

  "Promises, promises," teased Alex, basking in the warm glow of being admired by someone for purely -- or at least primarily -- physical reasons.

  CHAPTER 10

  In Which We Are Reassured of Alex's Recovery, and Go Shopping

  Alex arrived at his own quiet flat after reassuring Lapointe that he was fine. His head still hurt a little from all the magic, and he felt ill-used and unsure of his own mind, the former sickeningly familiar but the latter a wholly new discomfort.

  "It's times like these that I wish I had a cat," said Alex to the empty flat. He considered a cup of tea, but felt it better to be more sure of himself before he began handling things and spreading potential magical contagion about the place, so instead he went into his work room and beyond, to the walk-in cupboard he'd converted into a magical clean room of his own.

  Once there, he removed everything one more time, hanging the clothes on hooks and putting the other objects onto the myriad small white shelves he'd put up, each thing in its own spot. He left his wallet as is, but separated watch from chain from fob and put each on a shelf by itself. Once he was satisfied with the arrangement, he plucked a sock from one hook and let himself listen just to it, the room's nature muffling everything else while he concentrated.

  He went through that process with each piece of clothing, finding his jacket still held just a hint of that buzzing magic around the cuffs and wondering if it would survive being purified. The silk cravat, being magically neutral, was the only piece that was perfectly quiet, not a whisper of a song anywhere in the soft fabric. Everything else held only his own aura, the deeply familiar and comforting sound of his personal magic singing quietly through the clothing he'd worn today and, in most cases, many days before this.

  Alex tossed each piece of clothing out the door once it passed inspection, though on a whim he threw the cravat around his neck and over one shoulder like a scarf before settling down to examine his shoes.

  These were more complex because they were charmed by the maker already, but Alex knew these spells intimately, having worn them on his body for years now. The black leather held spells to shine them, make them supple and breathable, to keep them from cracking or getting scuffed, and to reinforce the heels and soles, though Alex could see he'd need to get them re-soled soon. They had been a ridiculously indulgent purchase, but Alex had always wanted a pair of handmade shoes, bespoke and bespelled, so when he'd had the wherewithal he'd treated himself.

  He was very pleased to find they'd survived intact, and he set them outside the little room rather more carefully than the rest.

  Next he picked up his wallet, finding it perfectly null as it was made to be, silk-lined leather that kept his personal effects safe from scrying eyes and, apparently, malicious magic. That went into a silk bag beside him, and was soon followed by t
he golden watch chain, cufflinks and cravat pin, all of which were perfectly unmagical and thankfully unaffected. His mobile was also fine, though turned off at the moment, and it went into its own little silk pouch before slipping into the larger bag with the rest -- he'd want to test it again once it was turned on, but it wouldn't function properly in the insulated cupboard.

  All the other perfectly ordinary bits and bobs were fine as well, with the exception of a rather fine cotton handkerchief that seemed to have imprinted much the same way the gloves had, something he'd keep in mind for later. It went on a hook near the jacket but not touching, while the rest went into the silk bag.

  All that was left now were his keys, watch and fob. He picked up the watch fob first -- though the most expensive, the charms on it were deceptively simple, and he felt himself relaxing as the chord rang out pure and clean in his head. He allowed himself a few minutes to just cradle it and clear his mind before it went into a silk pouch and, after a moment, into the bag.

  The watch, on the other hand, was quite complex, but the magical harmonies had been expertly tuned and there wasn't a single note out of place as it marched the time forward with a rather martial air. Again, he listened for a long time, long enough to hear the places where the pattern repeated and where it wove and rewove itself continuously, and to reassure himself that nothing was interfering with any of it.

  Finally, only his keys were left, and he had to sigh. If any of his magic items had been tainted, he expected it would be these. Each one was tuned to him specifically so that only he could use it, and he'd made the keychain himself to keep them being lost or stolen. They were by far the most intimate magic item he carried on him, though he had others that he'd fortunately left home today.

  With everything else placed outside or muffled in silk, it was easy to hone in on the keys and chain, listening to the familiar snippets of song, each a variation on his own individual theme, mixed with the larger theme of whatever building or institution the key belonged to. While the whole group of them was a bit jangling and discordant, only two of the keys held that same irritating buzz, and he removed them and slipped them into his jacket, along with the key-finder charm he'd made for the ring.

  All in all, it wasn't too bad of a loss, though it annoyed him that he'd have to remake the charm and get new keys.

  Alex put his remaining keys in the silk bag with the rest, then threw it over his shoulder and emerged into his work room. He left his discarded clothing where it was, left the bag on a bench and strode -- naked but for his improvised scarf -- out into his living room, intent on finding a robe and a cup of tea.

  Unfortunately, he had a visitor.

  "What are you doing here?" he said, resisting the urge to hide himself.

  Victor rolled his eyes. "I was checking up on my brother after an accident, what have you been doing in there?"

  "I was checking over everything I was wearing for contamination," replied Alex, refusing to let his brother fluster him. "And as you can see, I'm perfectly intact, so you can leave now."

  "Tetchy," said Victor, glancing at his own watch. "You never were very hospitable, though."

  Alex just glared.

  "Fine, fine, I'm going," said Victor, giving a last glance at Alex's body, this time considering. "You're more fit than I thought, perhaps you should arrange for young Julian to walk in on you next time."

  "Out!" said Alex, pointing to the door.

  Victor smirked, but he left.

  Alex resisted the urge to just collapse on the sofa and instead went to find silk pyjamas and a matching robe, covering himself from neck to ankles in the soft, insulating fabric.

  He was glad he did, because he'd barely put the kettle on when there was a knock on the door.

  "You can't be a relative, they never knock," he said as he went to the door, opening it to find Lapointe waiting.

  "I'm much better than a relative," she said, holding up a pastry box. "I have cupcakes."

  Alex laughed. "Then you can come in, tea'll be ready in a tick," he said, stepping back so she could get inside. "I take it you've been elected to keep an eye on me?"

  Lapointe chuckled. "Smedley told me to make sure you weren't going to sue the department," she said, sitting at his little kitchen table and opening the pastry box. Inside rested a dozen cupcakes in an assortment of flavours, the frosting perfectly swirled and looking terribly tempting.

  He forced himself to make up the tea rather than just eat the whole box. "He didn't want to come himself and risk being the next target of my affections?" asked Alex, amused.

  She snorted. "The way you've been yanking his chain? It's a wonder he was willing to loan you his couch," she teased.

  Alex got the tea steeping and on its trivet, then got out cups and the like out for both of them. "I forget, how do you take actual tea?" he asked teasingly, getting the sugar and milk out before finally taking his seat.

  "You don't forget any such thing," she teased, "you just don't like to think of taking it black."

  He made a face. "I suppose that's true," said Alex, though in actuality they had coffee so often that he'd let it slip his mind.

  They spent a few minutes negotiating who got which cupcake, and soon enough they'd settled into a comfortable silence punctuated mostly by the eating of said cupcakes. It wasn't until he'd had two and started on a third that she broke the silence.

  "Are you really all right?" asked Lapointe, letting the worry show on her face.

  Alex felt something warm in his chest, a somewhat unfamiliar feeling of being genuinely cared for by a friend. "I am, as far as I can tell. I might go to a temple over the weekend and get a proper purification, but I'm not sure my tender skin could stand it."

  She chuckled. "I never thought of you as religious," she said, taking a sip of tea.

  "Not that sort of temple, really. It's more that the purification frees the body and mind from the influences of the outside world, including outside magic," said Alex. "It's all very virtuous, though."

  Lapointe gave him an amused look. "I can see why you're not interested, then, I heard you nearly swept that new doctor off his feet."

  "Hey, he's the one who got me naked," protested Alex, but it was a weak protest.

  She laughed, and he took that as his cue to finish his third cupcake. She waited until he was licking frosting from his fingers and demanded, "Now, you have to tell me how last night went."

  Alex sighed, but did as he was told. After all, she had brought cupcakes.

  ~ ~ ~

  Alex spent the next day replacing the ruined keys, an annoyingly involved process that required he stay home for the magical locksmith. He couldn't even re-make his keychain, for fear of missing the man while he was busy in the lab.

  As a result, Alex was very cranky when he went in to the department the day after, defiantly clad in his usual black. His one concession to making peace was that he came bearing some coffee worth drinking, and a box of what he knew were Murielle's secret vice -- French macarons. Lapointe wasn't in her office, however, so he headed to the other place he usually found her, next to the coffee pot.

  "The phrase 'creamy mounds' does come to mind, but that's all I'll say about it," Geoff was saying as Alex walked into the break room.

  "But he doesn't have tits," said one of the other agents, looking comically confused.

  Alex had a moment of wanting to be angry, but Geoff's eyes met his and they both cracked up laughing. Alex knew he should be affronted that Geoff was talking about the incident like it was gossip, but somehow he couldn't be too angry with such a complimentary attitude.

  "He wasn't looking at my front," said Alex with a smirk, turning to hand Lapointe her coffee and feeling all eyes on his rear, hidden though it was by his long coat.

  "Oi, that's not sporting!" said the agent who'd been confused earlier. "I'll never get that image out of my head now."

  Geoff laughed. "I know I won't," he said, though he didn't sound at all displeased at the prospect.
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br />   Alex just looked smug. "Just remember, it's look but don't touch," he said, deliberately addressing the poor agent, though he sent a wink in Geoff's direction.

  They all laughed at that, as they were meant to, and Alex was feeling much cheered as Lapointe led him away from the small group. "You took that better than I expected," she said, after her door was shut.

  Alex shrugged. "Geoff said just enough to satisfy them, but he made it clear he wouldn't be saying any more."

  "Yes, they're all very sad that he won't confirm the rumours that you've got a python in your pants and that's what makes you such an arrogant bastard," she said, leaning on the edge of her desk and sipping the coffee. "Mmm, you do bribe me well for putting up with you."

  Alex grinned. "I have more," he said, pulling the box of macarons out of one of his voluminous coat pockets. "Your favourite."

  "They had the rose geranium ones?" she asked, already grabbing the box. She opened it and inhaled the sweet, flowery fragrance, then plucked one out and bit it in half with a sigh of pure culinary joy.

  Alex chuckled. "I don't know how you can stand those things, they taste like those little carved soaps old ladies put in their bathrooms," he said, pulling a box of simple vanilla almond ones out of his other pocket for himself.

  She laughed. "Men," was all she said, before blissfully consuming the other half. After a few moments of happy chewing and another sigh, she gave him a considering look and asked, "All right, what are you bribing me for?"

  Alex gave her his very best puppy-dog eyes and said, "I need help with gifts."

  "Gifts," she said dubiously, but she didn't refuse him right off. "As in, for this Courtship?"

  Alex nodded. "All the other men are very big money high society, and their gifts will be the same, stuff that's trying to impress him with how very impeccable their taste is and how very expensive the stuff was," he explained, "and I was hoping you could help me find something that's more, I dunno, that's got personality."