Smash Into You

by Shelly Crane

  "Well, congratulations to you both. I hope you enjoy your dinner. Everything all right so far?"

  "Oh, it's delish," Marley answered through her food.

  The waitress nodded and left with a smile. The woman on stage crooned some old love song as Marley and I laughed into each other's shoulders. She gripped my thigh under the table and I gripped hers.

  "You're hilarious," I told her and cut into my steak. It wasn't the best in the world, but it was food and it was hot and not in a can. It was heaven.

  "You're funny," she said, her eyes on her plate. I looked over because her voice seemed different. She was staring at her steak, and then her eyes moved over to her knife.

  I got it.

  "You want me to cut it up for you?"

  She took a deep breath. "I haven't had steak in years. Since I was like...five or something."

  I squeezed my fingers on her thigh. "Is that why you wanted to eat steak today?"

  "Partly. I knew I'd have to use silverware to eat it." She sighed. "I know that's so stupid, that I don't use forks, but..." She shrugged. "When I was five...or something...we were eating steak. Foster home number four. I was cutting my steak, a little too loudly, and they got mad. I was so scared they were going to send me away that I started shaking and dropped my fork to the floor. The mom threw an entire stack of forks from the drawer on the floor in her fit."

  My jaw clenched, my fist tightening. She just kept breaking my heart with her stories.

  "She didn't allow me to eat with utensils after that and so...I just never did. Because I was scared when I was a kid of dropping it and when I got older, I never knew what or where I'd be eating. I just...never."

  She picked up her knife and looked at it like it was alien. Her fork was next and she started to cut into her steak. She took a bite from the fork and then got a bite of mashed potatoes next. She licked the fork clean and laughed before looking over at me.

  I was absolutely enthralled. It wasn't that she didn't know how to use a fork, because she did, it was that she'd been scared into thinking she wasn't worthy of one. I couldn't look away. We'd both broken down so many barriers since we'd met and there she was, breaking another one, and letting me be a part of it all with her.

  When dessert came, we shared one piece of cheesecake slowly. I watched as she licked her fork over and over again.

  "What now? Hotel or road?"

  "I'm beat," I answered truthfully. "I just want to sleep and then we can hit the road in the morning."

  "Sounds good."

  She took the last bite and had a little bit on the edge of her lip. I shook my head. Another cliché scenario, but I was so going for it.

  I leaned in close. She saw what was coming and her lips parted. "You've got a little bit right here." I licked it off before going in and taking her entire mouth with mine. She dropped her fork loudly to the table with a clank, but she didn't seem worried about it being thrown back at her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and devoured me as I devoured her.

  The waitress again got our attention and I paid her cash, telling her to keep the change. We rushed out together, both of us eager to get somewhere alone, somewhere private. "Good luck in the pageant!" the waitress yelled.

  "Thank you!" Marley yelled back.

  She giggled on the way to the car. We drove the two blocks to the motel and got a room. I took her hand as we walked up the stairs. She was rubbing my arm and pressing against my side. I pulled my arm around her, getting as close as I could. We reached the room and she leaned her back against the wall beside the door. I followed her to keep the contact. I fidgeted with the key, but she couldn't wait and pulled me down roughly to kiss her.

  The male in me was awakened.

  We pulled and tugged on each other as I tried to get the key in without looking. Her tongue wasn't tame and timid like before. No, she was wild and on fire as much as I was. Finally, I cursed against her mouth and leaned back to get the door unlocked. As soon as I did, I threw it open while pulling her in with me, kissing all the while. I slammed and locked the door impressively without looking and then turned to press her to the wall.

  She was panting and warm all over. I ran my hand up her leg, pushing her dress up a little on the outside of her thigh. She tugged my shirt until I lifted my arms and it was tossed away. I'd never been this turned on in my life. Ever. I was about to implode with the want to have her.

  She lifted that one leg I was caressing and hooked it around my hip. Her arms were around my neck and our lips attacked and fought each other. When she moaned softly, I was done.

  I hoisted her up, ignoring the pull in my shoulder, and placed both of her legs around my waist, kissing her harder. When I let my hand ride up her ribs to the soft place I wanted, she gasped. It made me pause. She was excited, yes, but this was different.

  All the little clues and pieces started to fit together. Today, her kiss being so timid. She said she'd never had a hickie. She'd been in and out of foster homes. Changing schools. She didn't even have a place to live... Oh, gah...

  "You've never done this, have you?" I asked through a ragged breath. She stayed quiet. "I mean, after what happened to you..."

  She huffed. "Why are you asking me that?"

  "Uh..." I looked between us. "I think it's a valid question for the girl I have pressed to the wall."

  She sighed. "No, but it doesn't matter. I don't want to stop."

  She kissed the corner of my mouth and pulled me closer. I shook my head at myself. Don't do it...don't be the good guy here...she's ready, she wants you...

  Daggum it.

  "I can't." The look of hurt and disappointment was expected. I rushed to explain. "I don't want your first time to be like this."

  "So you'll sleep with those other girls, but not me?" She hadn't said it facetiously, it was a genuine inquiry. Again, I hated myself and my past.

  "I'm going to be honest. I always want to be honest with you." She nodded. "I had sex with those girls because I used them to be a distraction from my crappy life. They didn't mean anything, and I know that sounds bad, but I didn't mean anything to them either." Kate flitted through my mind and I felt guilty all over again. "I don't want anything in our past to define…what you and I will be."

  She paused to think that over. "Why do we have to wait? We're both here. We're alone. I won't hold anything in your past against you. I promise. And if you're worried about my past, what happened to me, don't. The whole situation was different. It's light in here, I can see you. I won't freak out. I know it's you."

  "It's not that, sweetheart. I just..." So much for not sounding like a chick. "I don't want your first time to be in a hotel."

  "But it's not my first time," she said softly, looking at my neck instead of my eyes.

  I made her look up at me. "Oh, yes it is. You give your first time to the one you want to be with. That can't be taken from you." She smiled, tears lining her lashes. "I don't want to have sex, Marley, I want to make love to you." She sighed, putting her forehead to mine. "I've never made love to a girl before. I want to, with you, but not while we're on the run from some guy who's made it his life's work to kill me. This hotel, where other people have slept and cheated on their spouses and... I want us to have a clean slate. I don't want your first time to be tainted by all this. I don't want our first time to be tainted by all this. You don't deserve to be taken in a rush, you deserve to be worshiped."

  She watched my face with a look of awe. She looked like she might cry again. I didn't want that.

  "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. I want you. I want you...so bad. I just need, for once, to do what's right by you."

  She laughed softly. "You have been. I thought I'd be scared." She smiled, but she was crying again. "I thought the memory of what happened to me would rule and ruin everything when I finally did want to be with someone...but you took all that away." She took my face in her hands. "I feel safe with you, completely, and I know when you finally...make love to me, I
won't have any dirt left, nothing left to feel filthy about, nothing left to distract me from the real world and real life. It's only been days since I met you, but you make everything better."

  I didn't know what to say. I wanted to boo-hoo a little myself if she kept that up. But I felt the same way about her. I was falling so hard for this girl. She made everything clean. "Will you at least kiss me?" She smiled. "Is that acceptable?"

  "More than," I answered, but wondered... "Have you ever made out with someone before?"

  "I've only kissed one guy before you, and it was in his backyard on a squeaky swing. It wasn't that great," she admitted, adoringly sheepish.

  "Well," I replied, moving her hand from my bare chest and wrapping it around the back of my neck. "Challenge accepted, sweetheart."

  I teased. It was so mean, I knew that, but it was so fun to watch her, everything new to her eyes, as I inched my mouth to hers with an entirely new purpose in mind. I still planned to pin her to the panel walls, but not for sex. As I sank into her mouth and felt the warmth run through my veins, I realized it had been forever since I'd just made out with a girl, since I had foreplay and a reason to make a girl sigh other than the inevitable end result. I grinned into our kiss as I felt the first of many rays of sunshine beam right into my soul. This was more than fun, it was therapy. She was healing me one touch at a time and didn't even know it.

  I kissed her with everything in me, all that I was and had to offer. I unleashed it all on her and didn't apologize. I wanted to consume her...because she was consuming me.

  TEN

  To keep the mood PG, I placed her feet back to the floor, but kept her right there for what seemed like hours. I was able to shave this time, but my five o'clock was coming in, I was sure. It seemed wrong to make her pretty white skin pink with my rubbing, but I was in too deep to stop.

  She never once grabbed my bad shoulder. She remembered and, though her hands and fingers roamed me, they never hit the bad spot. Another sign of how thoughtful and awesome she was.

  Eventually, I moved us to the bed and though Neanderthalish, I had one task in mind when I finally let her lips go and moved south to her neck and then her collarbone and then the spot behind her ear. That's when I heard it. The gasp that meant they'd never experienced anything like it and their bodies undulate without their permission at the feel of it. I grinned to myself at finding treasure and stayed at that spot, pressing in closer to her, freaking loving the way her hands gripped my head and she breathed into my hair as if I was the only thing keeping her from falling over the cliff edge.

  But she didn't know yet, that was exactly what I planned to do one day.

  For hours, I kissed her into oblivion. For hours, my hands claimed her skin, small piece after small piece.

  After we'd had our fill, I put her under the covers with me, enjoying the feel of just sleeping next to someone.

  The next morning, I woke first and just watched her for a minute. Her blond hair was lying over half her face and she was still curled right up against me. She looked so peaceful, like she knew she was safe with me. I had to find Biloxi and end this. I couldn't let her down.

  I leaned over her and kissed her nose. "Get up, beautiful."

  She scrunched her face and pushed at my chest. "Shut up."

  I laughed and swooped down for another wake-up kiss to her cheek. "Get up, gorgeous."

  She groaned. I kissed her eyelid. "Get up, sweet face."

  She giggled into my shoulder. "Oh, my gosh, stop. Please. One more nickname and I'll hit you."

  "They're not nicknames, they're adjectives. Get up. We've got errands to run."

  She looked at me curiously, pushing her hair back. "What kind of errands? Job hunting?"

  "That, too. But first, some breakfast and a library."

  She smirked. "Taking up a new hobby?"

  "Nope, just playing detective." I pulled the old man's phone from my pocket. It was almost dead. Hopefully, he had a charger in the car. I opened the camera and showed her. "I got the bastard's face and Google image search is hopefully going to help tell me about him."

  "From a runaway to a tech geek. Wow."

  "You laugh," I tickled her until she was hitting me to stop, "but I've got skills."

  "OK, OK, OK!" She laughed and palmed my cheek. "You gonna shave first?"

  I squinted. "Did I hurt you last night?" I rubbed my stubbled jaw. "I thought it-"

  "Of course you didn't hurt me last night." She sighed and her eyes shined with something I couldn't process. I fell into her deep eyes and willingly let her keep me prisoner. I knew we were now talking about more than beard burn. "Thank you...for last night."

  I braced my arm on the bed by her head. "I should be thanking you."

  "Because I begged for it? Is that why? Is there some innate, primal thing in a male that likes it when a woman begs?"

  I chuckled and shook my head a 'no', but said, "Yes."

  She sighed exasperatingly and turned her face away in jest. "I knew it. Another one bites the dust."

  I laughed harder. "You're funny," I told her again. "Maybe we can get you a job in stand-up."

  "I'm only funny to you, I'm afraid."

  "That waitress last night thought you were funny," I countered and leaned forward to run my nose down her jaw. "A gynecologist was the best you could come up with?"

  "No, but it was the funniest thing I could come up with."

  I started to chuckle, but came across the hickie I'd given her last night, right under her ear. A split second of worry that she'd be upset ran across my mind before my ego took over and I was smiling smugly against her skin.

  "What are you smiling about?"

  "Nothing," I lied and leaned up to kiss her. She kissed back, once again content to let me take her for a ride wherever I was going. "What a beautiful mess we're in," I murmured.

  She smiled at that. "And what does that mean?" she whispered.

  "I think you know."

  She bit her lip and nodded. "It's a sucky situation, but…there's you."

  "And there's you," I countered and kissed her again. I sighed and leaned back a little. "I'm buying a gun today." She stilled. "Not just to keep you safe, but to find him. I can't live on the edge of the knife anymore, Marley. I can't just wait for him to come find me and hope I can get away. I need to find him and make sure that he never finds you."

  She didn't say anything, but she looked at me. "I used to be in the gun club. We went to the range every week."

  "To be honest, I was surprised you didn't have one already. What do you do to defend yourself when he shows up?"

  I twisted my lips. "I run. It's what my mom made me promise to do. But it's different now."

  She nodded. "Let's get going."

  I ran down and got our clothes out of the car. We put some of the new ones on and headed out. I watched her from behind, her heels flipping over her flip-flops. Her boots were gone, abandoned at the store we had to flee. I bet she missed them. I know I did.

  I told her we needed to ditch the car as we rode down the main strip of town. We'd take a bus or something to the next city, help cover our trail by not keeping the same vehicle. I should have dumped my truck before I did.

  So, I pulled into the back of a lot and left it there. I took the phone charger and left everything else behind.

  "Breakfast," I said in a flourish, opening the door to the diner. We ate on the same side of the booth this time and every time her elbow rubbed mine, I found myself looking over at her. Somehow, she was already looking at me. She giggled every time and then went back to eating, our legs touching, her foot rubbing against mine.

  Who knew I'd be brought to my knees by freaking footsies… I grinned, astonished at how happy that made me. I'd never been happy before.

  We walked to the library, that the waitress said was only six blocks away, thankfully. We started out on the sidewalk and she took my hand in hers.

  I looked down at them intertwined and felt another ray of sunshin
e break through. Another first. I'd never held hands with a girl before.

  "Is this OK?" she asked, curious of my reaction.

  I stopped on the sidewalk, keeping her hand in mine, and kissed her right there. She tasted like the orange juice she'd just had.

  "Was that OK?" I taunted, teasing. Then I pulled her stunned figure with me as we moved along and the library came into view. It was one of those old colonial, southern ones.

  We looked both ways and crossed the two-lane. We got to use the computers for one hour only and then we'd have to come back the next day to use it again, so we needed to go fast.

  I put Marley in a chair and pulled one up beside her by the computer. I took the USB end of his charger and plugged it in, transferring the picture to the computer desktop. I held my breath as I dropped the image into the search engine.

  Marley and I both caught our breath at what we saw. His name would always be Biloxi to me, but his real name was Vincent DoMaggio. He'd been indicted for several things, but the company he worked for had been in trouble as well. The company's name—BioGene, Inc.

  My heart felt sluggish in my chest as I realized what kind of products a company named that would produce.

  But the thing that caught our eye was a picture next to Biloxi's. Our friendly neighborhood hotel rescuer. She looked at me, but pointed at him. "How…Why? If he had us, right there, why didn't he snatch us up then?"

  "I don't know," I answered truthfully. "I don't understand any of this."

  So I started printing. Page after page of anything that looked important, pictures, and business addresses spit out of the printer. By the time we were done, our hour was up and the ten cents a page bill we racked up was twelve dollars and thirty cents.

  We took our stack of papers and went back to the hotel to go through it all.

  "Look here," she said. "Look at this."

  Her voice had taken on a shaky tone since we'd found the picture of the guy who had helped her. She'd been so close and could have been taken then. That would have been it.

  I went and sat on the bed behind her, putting my knee on her other side, and pulled her back into my chest. I hated that she was involved in this now. I scanned the page she showed me. It was talking about genetics testing, cancer scan levels, fatalities of newborns and fetuses, a list of drugs and what they did to each subject…test subjects…