The Highlander Who Protected Me (Clan Kendrick #1)

by Vanessa Kelly

  “Believe me, that wouldn’t improve the situation.”

  “Ainsley, no man should be allowed to get away with that,” he said, his frustration building. “I can deal with him, I assure you.”

  She visibly struggled to wrestle her emotions under control. “Cringlewood doesn’t see it that way. He thinks he did nothing wrong. Your charging in will only make things worse.”

  He forced himself to concentrate on her, instead of his own terrible anger. “Can you explain how he could possibly think that?”

  When she pulled away and sat back in her chair, he had to resist the urge to snatch her into his arms, keeping her forever safe. But coddling was not what she wanted. She needed to do this her way, and he needed to somehow find the patience to support her.

  “You must understand that everyone assumed that Cringlewood and I would be married,” she said. “As you know, he’d been courting me for some time before I met you.”

  “Yes. I remember.”

  “You probably also remember that he was proprietorial, even when he had no right to be.” Her lips tightened for a moment. “My parents encouraged him in that, I’m sorry to say, and I didn’t do enough to discourage it. It seemed an excellent match that both families favored. Leonard is wealthy and powerful, and my mother was thrilled with the notion of her daughter becoming a marchioness.”

  “Such is the way of the ton .”

  “Disgusting, isn’t it?”

  “You didn’t always think so, did you?” he asked gently.

  She sighed. “No, and although my feelings for him were tepid, I didn’t dislike him. I had to marry someone, after all. Why not a family friend I’d known for years?”

  “A handsome, rich, and titled friend,” Royal said. “What else could any young maiden ask for?”

  “Perhaps a personality that didn’t resemble a slimy toad.”

  He chuckled, since she had obviously intended him to. “He fails on that account.”

  “The marquess hid his loathsome nature fairly well, I’ll give him that.” She shrugged. “Then again, I’m not a pattern card of a demure docility, am I?”

  “I consider that one of your greatest charms. So, the families were promoting the match, and you more or less went along with it—mostly from inertia, it seems.”

  “Yes, that’s exactly right. When it came down to it, I suppose I didn’t truly wish to marry anyone. But that, of course, was not an option.”

  The most brilliant catch on the marriage mart had been expected to make a brilliant marriage that further elevated her family’s status. Dwindling into spinsterhood would have been considered abject failure.

  “So, Cringlewood was the obvious man.” He raised an eyebrow. “Although I suspect I threw a temporary spanner in the works, didn’t I?”

  Her smile was rueful. “You did. The aftermath of that incident was not pretty.”

  “I’m sorry. I was an idiot to behave so badly.”

  “It’s because you’re a man. You can’t help it.”

  “Thank you,” he said with a faint smile. “But Cringlewood still wished to marry you?”

  “Yes, eventually he forgave me,” she said dryly. “Although for a while I truly didn’t care, since he was acting like such a prig.”

  He frowned. “Then why didn’t it end there?”

  “Papa convinced me that his lordship’s reaction stemmed from jealousy, resulting from his great affection for me. Fool that I was, I suppose I believed him. Papa was eager to begin discussion of the marriage settlements and Mamma was itching to forge even stronger connections with Cringlewood’s mother and other relatives. So we agreed to visit their family seat in Hampshire for three weeks in order for me to acquaint myself with the estate and for the necessary financial discussions to commence.”

  The process seemed so damn cold-blooded. “It’s like you were a prize going to the highest bidder.”

  “A prize heifer,” she said with quiet bitterness.

  “Ainsley—”

  She shook her head. “In any event, it went well for the first few days. The marquess was charming to my parents and paid me a great deal of attention. It was all proceeding better than I expected, so I agreed to go for a walk with him one afternoon, just the two of us. It was so stupid of me,” she muttered.

  “Perhaps not, considering you were all but engaged,” he said, hating that she would blame herself.

  “But I knew what he wanted, you see. And I went along because I was curious. I wanted . . . to see if I would like it.”

  It took Royal a moment to answer. “You obviously had doubts.”

  “Yes. We’d barely even kissed.”

  Royal couldn’t help remembering their first kiss. It had been fleeting but memorable, and her response had never been in doubt.

  “None of that is unreasonable,” he said. “After all, you were considering spending your life with the man. It’s quite sensible, when you think about it.”

  She gave him a tentative smile. “I thought so.” Then her mouth puckered up in a grimace. “But he used it against me. When I asked him to stop, he told me to stop playing the innocent. He said I wanted exactly what he did.”

  Anger crashed through Royal, swift and hot. His hands ached with the need to wrap them around Cringlewood’s throat.

  Someday. Soon.

  Royal forced himself to focus on Ainsley, who was composed but very pale. This wasn’t about him. It was about her, and how he could help her. “You don’t have to tell me anything else, lass. I understand.”

  “No, I need you to know what happened. And I’m almost finished, anyway.”

  “Do you mind if I hold your hand while you tell me?” he quietly asked. “Please say no, if you don’t.”

  She seemed startled for a moment, but then nodded. “I would like that very much.”

  When her slender fingers were secured within his, she continued in a tone akin to a grim but steady march. “He took me to a gazebo by the lake, some distance from the manor. It was all right, at first, but after a while I told him I wasn’t comfortable and I wanted to return to the house. When he wouldn’t stop, I had to give him a shove.” Her smile briefly flashed. “A hard one.”

  His gut twisted with both dismay and admiration. She was so damn brave, fighting off a predator so much bigger and stronger than she. “What did he do then?”

  She paused for a moment. “He backhanded me. Quite forcefully.”

  The world seemed to tilt on its axis, and Royal had to struggle for a few seconds to get it back to the proper angle. But nothing would ever be truly right until Cringlewood was punished for what he’d done to her.

  “I’m sorry, Ainsley. I’m so goddamned sorry.”

  “I know.” She cleared her throat. “Anyway, it was over rather quickly after that. He pushed me down onto the daybed and . . . and did it. It was horrible, of course, but I was so stunned I could barely react. It seemed unreal, somehow.” Frowning, she stared down at their joined hands. “I remember listening to the birds. They were madly tweeting away, and the sun was shining through the leaves and the lake was glittering like diamonds. It was a perfect summer day. How could something so ugly be happening when the world was so beautiful?”

  Royal felt like he was dying inside. “I’d kill him for you, if I could.”

  Someday I will.

  She actually flashed a wry smile. “Oh, you’d have to wait in line behind me and Aunt Margaret. We’ve come up with several gruesome scenarios. I suppose it makes me an awful person for finding comfort in the notion.”

  “It makes you the smartest, bravest lass I’ve ever met.”

  Her smile disappeared like a will-o’-the-wisp. “Not so smart that I went off with him in the first place. I suppose in his mind, I gave him permission.”

  “Cringlewood is a right bastard who deserves a bullet through the brain,” Royal gritted out. “The fault was entirely his, not yours.”

  “My mother didn’t think so.”

  “You told your m
other?”

  “Yes. Afterward, Cringlewood helped me straighten my clothes, and then he escorted me back to the house, as if everything was fine. He talked about plans for our wedding and how happy he was that matters were finally settled.”

  “He thought he’d taken away your choice in the matter.”

  Her gaze skated off to the small coal fire. “Yes.”

  She was holding something back. It unsettled him, but he decided not to press her.

  “As soon as I cleaned up . . .” She paused, her lips pressed into a distressed line. All he could do was hold her hand and wait.

  “As soon as I changed, I went to see my mother,” she finally went on. “She was shocked, naturally, and dismayed by his lordship’s behavior. But she found my behavior equally distressing. As far as she was concerned, we were both at fault.”

  Royal couldn’t imagine his mother ever saying anything like that to a daughter. “I didn’t realize her ladyship was such a fool.”

  “She’s not a fool, but she’s old-fashioned and very much a high stickler. So she was utterly horrified I would even think to refuse marriage, after what happened. As far as Mamma was concerned, I had no choice but to go through with it.”

  “Aye, but you were too smart to accept such nonsense.”

  That earned him a rueful but genuine smile. “My mother told me I was completely mad. She also made me swear not to tell my father.”

  “Because he would be furious with Cringlewood?”

  “No, because he would be furious with me for complicating matters. Papa would no doubt feel obligated to reprimand Cringlewood for behaving so poorly, which would be awkward. Mamma was terrified he would then refuse to marry me if Papa made a fuss.”

  “That’s it? Your father would simply deliver a reprimand?” Royal asked in disbelief.

  She nodded.

  “Good God. Your entire family must either be mad or criminally stupid.”

  “Both, probably. As you can imagine, I left for London almost immediately. Papa was livid about that, of course, and believed whatever stupid fight we’d had shouldn’t matter. He continued to press for the engagement, and I continued to refuse.” She shrugged. “There was no point in telling him the truth, since he would simply agree with my mother.”

  “Did you see Cringlewood after that?”

  “Just once. I told him that I would never marry him, and that he should direct his attentions elsewhere. He was quite . . . taken aback, for lack of a better term.”

  Royal’s stomach clenched. “Did he hurt you again?”

  “No. I suppose he was too surprised. That’s when Papa decided to send me into exile in Scotland.”

  “You maneuvered him into that, I imagine.”

  “I may have said something to the effect that I’d rather bury myself in the Highlands than marry Cringlewood. Papa couldn’t believe I meant such a thing, so he decided to test my resolve.”

  “That was clever thinking on your part.”

  “Thank you.” Her smile faded. “What I hadn’t counted on was Cringlewood’s persistence.”

  “What the hell is wrong with the man? Why continue to pursue an unwilling woman?”

  “For my fortune, probably, although he does seem quite obsessed with me,” she said, glancing away.

  Again, he got the odd sense that she was holding something back.

  When she met his gaze, it was again steadfast and determined. “Whatever the reason, I know he won’t give up. That’s why I need you to marry me . . . before he utterly destroys my life.”

  Chapter Ten

  Instead of responding to her terse plea, Royal frowned at their joined hands, his thumb absently gliding over her skin. Ainsley was too uncomfortable with the silence to enjoy the sensation.

  “Are you all right?” she finally asked.

  It had been horribly difficult and embarrassing to tell him the ugly story. She certainly wouldn’t blame him for being embarrassed, too.

  He glanced up. “I’m just trying to grasp the implications of all this. It’s rather complicated.”

  Oh, blast. That sounded like a dodge. Or, perhaps—

  “Royal, are . . . are you involved with someone else?” she asked, trying not to sound as appalled as she felt.

  He scoffed. “Ainsley, between trying to be a good father and dealing with the demands of Logan’s business, I’m run ragged. The fair maidens of Glasgow are not my priority.”

  “I wouldn’t blame you if you were,” she said. “It’s not as if you ever thought you’d see me again.”

  Instead of answering, he reached up and tugged on the bow under her chin. “Why are you still wearing this blasted hat?” He untied her bonnet and tossed it in the general direction of a chair by the fireplace. It hit the edge of the seat and tumbled to the floor.

  “That’s a new hat,” she protested. “And it was quite expensive.” She’d made a point of going on a buying spree before she left London. God only knew when she’d have access to her funds again, if ever.

  Royal tipped her chin up. “Lass, you are completely daft if you think I would waste my time capering after other women. If you don’t know that by now, you’re not as smart as I thought.”

  “You’re not exactly the sort to caper at the best of times,” she said, trying to make a joke.

  Better to joke than to cry. Most days, her mood was so flat that she wondered if anything short of an explosion could jolt her back to life. But after glimpsing Tira and sharing her misfortunes with Royal, a tide wall had been breached. Her emotions were surging with an intensity that almost overwhelmed her.

  His smile was tender as he stroked a thumb across her cheek. “No capering with this leg.”

  “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” she said after a few moments of fraught silence. “It’s such an ugly story.”

  He leaned in, so close she could see gold flecks in his green gaze. “My only discomfort was on your behalf, love. Never think I blame you for anything.”

  She had to repress the impulse to kiss him, because the thought of kissing any man, even Royal, still made her a little nervous. “Sir, you’re making my eyes cross.”

  “Imp.” He dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose before sitting back. “I mean it, Ainsley. You can’t blame yourself for what Cringlewood did. The bastard should be drawn and quartered.”

  “I’m very grateful for your support, truly. I also know the immensity of what I’m asking of you. I’ve caused so much trouble for you these past few years, and it’s hideous of me to try to take advantage of you again.”

  His smile turned rueful. “Any number of times I have wished for nothing more than for you to take advantage of me.”

  Her heart sank. “But no longer?”

  He hesitated a fraction too long. “As I said, it’s a complicated situation.”

  Ainsley swallowed her stark sense of dismay. She refused to make him feel guilty, not after everything he’d done for her. For Tira’s sake, she would do the right thing.

  “I understand, and I’m sure I’ll manage somehow. If . . . if you’ll just let me spend a little time with my daughter before I leave Glasgow, I’d be immensely grateful. I promise I won’t make any trouble.”

  His brows snapped together. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “You obviously don’t want to marry me. I’m trying to say that I understand and I’ll manage,” she replied with what she thought was commendable patience.

  “Ainsley, I never said I wouldn’t marry you.”

  Her heart kicked out a hard thump. “Then you will?”

  When he hesitated again, she almost shrieked in frustration. “Royal, will you please just tell me exactly what you do mean?”

  He grimaced. “Sorry. It’s not you. I’m worried about what this will mean for Tira.”

  She’d thought endlessly about that too, in the dark reaches of the night. “Are you afraid I won’t be a fit mother? Because you must know I would never hurt her.”

  �
�Don’t be daft. I know how much you love her. But that’s the point. How do we continue protecting Tira from Cringlewood if you’re in her life?”

  “I don’t think that’s a concern anymore. It’s been five months, and simply everyone believes Tira is your daughter. Your family did a splendid job in that respect.”

  Ainsley felt quite confident in that regard. There’d not been a speck of gossip about her long absence from London. Some might not understand her reasons for jilting Cringlewood, but her friends thought her long exile in Scotland punishment enough.

  “Unfortunately, people might make the connection once they see you together,” Royal said. “Tira looks exactly like you.”

  “She’s just a baby.”

  “One who has your coloring, including your eyes.”

  “All right, but I don’t think that’s an insurmountable obstacle. People generally believe what they’re led to believe, and they all clearly believe Tira is a Kendrick. Several of your brothers have dark hair and blue eyes, so we can say she takes after them.”

  Royal’s only reply was a grunt.

  “It’s not like we ever have to visit London,” she pressed, “and hardly anyone I know comes to Scotland, including my family.”

  Not that anyone in her family would ever talk to her again.

  “Ainsley, you do remember that you hate Scotland, don’t you?” he asked. “Are you really prepared to spend the rest of your life here, as the wife of a common younger son?”

  Royal didn’t believe she could give up her pampered existence, but he was wrong. “I’m sure I’ll adjust.”

  When he hauled himself up and walked over to replenish his glass, Ainsley marshaled patience. Given everything he knew about her, including that she’d given up her daughter partly to return to her old life, his caution was entirely understandable.

  When he again propped a shoulder against the mantel, she sensed he was putting distance between them.

  “Ainsley, you’ve spent your life in the lap of luxury. I’m not a rich man, by any means, nor is Glasgow the most exciting city in the world.”