The Promise: A Secret Baby Romance (North Woods Universtiy Book 5)

by J. L. Beck

  “I don’t want to be here with you.” The words hurt as I speak them, but I don’t know this person. I thought I knew Lex, but I only knew one side of him, and I’ve been around men long enough to know there is always a darker, violent side waiting to show its face.

  All this time I’d wished I could find him again.

  Now I wish I never crossed his path again.

  3

  Lex

  She thinks I’m going to hurt her. Raise my fucking hand to her. The fear trickling into her blue eyes tells me everything I need to know. That’s why she flinches every time I move, which of course, only angers me further, making me look like a crazed asshole.

  I can’t help it though. Like I would fucking hurt her? I promised to keep her safe, not hurt her. I’ve never even given her a reason to be afraid of me. If there was ever a time to be scared of me, it would’ve been the first time we met, not now.

  Dragging a hand down my face, frustration seeps into my muscles. Now she wants to leave. Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

  “Whether you want to be here or not, isn’t up for debate right now. You’ll stay with me tonight.” I hate being that guy that tells a woman what she’s going to do, but it was fate that we met once. It’s something more that we stumbled upon each other again.

  Then there’s the shit she saw tonight… god, this is a fucking mess.

  “You can’t make me stay here. I… I didn’t see anything if that’s what you’re worried about, and I won’t tell anyone.” Her bottom lip trembles as she speaks. I should let her go, but I’m too selfish to do that. It has nothing to do with what she saw or didn’t see. I don’t care about that. I just want her here with me.

  “Look, you can stay in the bedroom, and I’ll stay on the couch. I won’t hurt you, and I won’t raise my hand to you. I don’t hurt women.”

  “No, only men, right? You were beating that man and would’ve killed him if I didn’t stumble upon you and your friend.”

  Shaking my head, I tell myself she doesn’t have the first clue as to what’s going on. We weren’t going to kill him, teach him a lesson, yes, but I had no intention of killing him. Luke, on the other hand, the look in his eyes, the darkness that surrounded him. It was hard to step outside of that heavy fog and not give in to the rage that was pulsing through my veins. Then I saw Jude, and everything else faded away.

  “You wouldn’t understand even if I explained it to you, which I’m not going to do.”

  Jude crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her chin. She had been timid and afraid, but now she looked as if she had gained some courage. Did she believe me when I said I wouldn’t hurt her?

  “I’m going to go into the bedroom,” she tells me and gets up. I follow her steps with my eyes until she’s around the corner. Then I hear the door to the bedroom shut, and the lock clicks into place.

  Fuck. This was not how I planned on this night going, or how I figured my reunion with Jude would go. Walking into the kitchen, I grab a bottle of water and look out the window and into the back yard. I try and find something to ground me. My anger is rising, bubbling up inside of me. Squeezing the bottle a little harder, I almost paint the walls with water when a knock sounds against the front door.

  Who could that be?

  Walking to the front door, I look through the peephole and give my head a shake when I see Roman standing on the doorstep, a scowl etched into his face. I’m not really surprised that he knows where I live, but more to the fact that he’s here at all.

  Opening the door, I greet him, “Hey, you lost?” I manage a grin, despite my shit mood.

  Roman’s lips don’t even twitch. “Hey, can I come in. I need to talk to you.”

  Taking a step back, I gesture for him to come in. Roman isn’t a small man, in fact, he’s similar to me in height and weight. With the two of us in the house, the space seems to get smaller. Closing the door, I walk into the living room, and he follows behind me.

  “What’s up?” I let my arms hang down at my sides.

  Roman’s gaze darts around the room like he’s looking for something, “Where is the girl?”

  My stupid heart slams into my throat, and I decide to divert the attention off of Jude, “What happened to that guy? Did Luke take him to the hospital? He said he would take care of him, but I wasn’t sure what he planned to do?” I wasn’t even going to bring up the fact that it almost sounded like he was going to get rid of him.

  “He took care of him, so don’t worry about it.” His voice grows deep, and it’s strange to see Roman so unhinged. “The girl. She’s here. I want to see her. Talk to her.”

  I shake my head without thinking. “She’s here, but she’s already scared…”

  Roman grins like the devil, rolling his shoulders like he’s ready for a fight. “Good. Keep her that way. Fear keeps people in place. Make sure she keeps what she saw to herself.”

  “We didn’t do anything wrong, Roman, and she didn’t see anything. Not really. That guy deserved everything he got.”

  “He might’ve deserved it, but the girl is a liability, if she tells someone about what happened, both you and Luke could be in trouble.” He’s acting like we killed someone instead of beating the fuck out of some scumbag.

  “Dude, we didn’t kill him, and my brother is the dean of the school. He’d back me up if need be. I’m not worried.”

  Roman grits his teeth. “You should be. Make sure the girl stays afraid and keep an eye on her. I’ll be in touch with you.”

  Blinking, I’m a little shocked at how unreasonable he’s being. He’s always chilled and laughing, but this side of Roman is anything but laidback or joyful. It’s like I’m seeing a whole new side of him for the first time. The angry look on his face would have most men pissing their pants by now. I’m not afraid or intimidated though.

  “Is everything okay, man?”

  “Just do this, and I’ll call you later.” He sighs, turns, and walks back to the door. At the last second, he turns and looks at me over his shoulder. Something like remorse flicks across his face. “I’m serious, Lex. The girl is a liability. Make sure she stays quiet or someone else will.”

  Confusion drips steadily into my mind, but I haven’t the first fucking clue what he’s talking about. I don’t get the chance to ask him either because he slips out the front door, leaving me standing there like he was never here.

  What the hell is going on?

  Scrubbing a hand down my face, I sigh into the quiet room. Something tells me there is more to Roman and Luke then they’re letting on. The way Luke acted tonight, it wasn’t just anger that was flowing through his veins. He looked like he was capable of killing. I’d never seen him like that before. Then Roman shows up here, spouting nonsense. I’m not sure why, but I walk over to my laptop and open it up, navigating to the internet.

  I’ve never even considered looking someone up, but here I am. Typing in the name of Roman’s gym, I hit the enter key and wait for the results to appear. At the very top of the page is the gym’s website. Then there are a bunch of other gyms as well as blog posts and such.

  Going to the next page, I see a post at the top that says: Owner of Local Gym, Iron’s Fists, Ties to the Mob?

  Swallowing thickly, I click on the link and wait not so patiently for the page to load. It’s an article for the city of North Woods from a couple of years ago. My eyes scan over the words, and it’s like I can’t gobble them up fast enough. The article is clearly written by someone to smear their names and the gym’s based simply on the content.

  Many claim Ivan and Roman Petrov may be involved with the Rossi Crime Family and are simply using the “gym” as a way to build up an image here in North Woods.

  I don’t continue reading; instead, I slam the laptop closed.

  Rossi Crime Family? Mob? Cartel?

  Fuck, this is bad, and now I’ve drug Jude into it. Panic starts to take hold, but I shove it away, clearing my head. I can’t jump to conclusions based on one article. Roman
and Luke have been good to me, been my friends when I needed one, gave me a job, and an outlet for my anger. Surely, it’s a lie. No way are they doing anything illegal. Luke is just protective of his wife. Roman is just worried about Luke and me getting in trouble. That’s all this is.

  Deciding to shelve the feelings at least until tomorrow, I push off the couch and go to check on Jude. I know she doesn’t want to be here, but having her here is going to make me feel more at ease. When I promised to protect her, I never put an expiration date on it, and I meant what I said. I would protect her from anything and everything.

  Reaching the door, I hear the sound of the shower. My mind goes to a place it shouldn’t, envisioning her naked, the water cascading over her delicate skin. Of course, my cock hardens at the thought. Shaking my head, I remind myself that I have so many questions I want to ask her. Like, why she left that night, and why she chose to give me her virginity?

  Staring at the door for a long second, I turn around and walk back into the living room, sinking down onto the couch. Pulling out my phone, I scroll through Facebook to give myself something to do. My head is swimming with thoughts right now, and all I want to do is shut down. All that matters in my mind is that I found Jude again. Now, I just have to find a way to make her stay.

  4

  Jude

  My chest heaves as I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. I didn’t hear much of what they said through the thick door. Even with me pressing my ear to the wood, I could only make out bits and pieces.

  She is a liability… Keep an eye on the girl… Trouble…

  What I did hear made my stomach churn. Each word was an arrow piercing into my skin, and I knew instantly I shouldn’t have come with him. I should’ve run faster. Hell, I should’ve run as soon as I saw them. I’m so stupid. Just when I get away from one tyrant, I run into the arms of the next. When will I learn? There are no good men, there is no one that is going to treat me the way I should be treated. Lex will be no different than the next. No, he hasn’t hurt me yet, but it’s only a matter of time.

  Deciding I need a shower to clear my head, I strip out of my clothes. I avert my gaze, trying not to look in the mirror while I’m naked, but like always, my eyes are drawn to the marks on my back and side.

  They’re mostly healed now, but still very much visible. I’m certain some of them will leave scars. Until now, my father has always been careful not to leave permanent marks. Who wants a damaged wife, right?

  Since I damaged myself by losing my virginity, my father took no mercy with the last beating he delivered before kicking me out, disowning me as his daughter just like I’d hoped he would. What I didn’t expect was for it to actually hurt.

  The sound of the belt slicing through the air meets my ears seconds before it comes down, landing harshly across my back. The pain is so intense I gnash my teeth together to stop myself from screaming out loud. I will not grant them the satisfaction of hearing me scream in pain. I’d rather bite off my tongue before letting a scream pass my lips.

  “You are a disgrace to this family!” My father screams, spit flying out of his mouth as the belt comes down on my back and ribs again and again, ripping into my skin with each lash.

  Through teary eyes, I look over my shoulder at my mother. She is standing by the wall, her face void of all emotion. How can she just stand there and stare at me? Watching this happen? Not even bothering to protect me.

  At least my father is angry, at least he is showing some kind of emotion, but my mother looks like she doesn’t care at all. Like he could kill me, and she wouldn’t even blink.

  I didn’t think that part would hurt so much. My mother’s indifference to me getting the hell beat out of me. To me leaving the family, being shunned, and told never to return. We were never close, but she was my mother for Christ’s sake. She could’ve at least shown a sliver of… anything.

  Shaking the memory away, I turn on the water and wait for it to get hot. Those people are not my family anymore, maybe they never really were, not as I would perceive a family to be anyway. A family’s supposed to love you, care for you, cherish, and protect you unconditionally. My parents never did any of that. If it wasn’t for the books I’d read in the library, I probably wouldn’t have known any different, but I did, and that was what mattered to me.

  As soon as the water is hot, I step under the spray and let it soothe my sore muscles. I didn’t realize how tense I had been until I stepped under the water and let myself relax against the tile. Turning, I find a bottle of shampoo, and body wash. Popping the cap, I give it a sniff and almost choke at the manly scent that assaults my nostrils.

  The smell reminds me of Lex, clean and woodsy. It reminds me of our night together. Our night that made me believe he was a better man. Anger and betrayal push to the forefront of my mind. I feel duped. I don’t know why I’m surprised. I shouldn’t be.

  Grabbing the shampoo, I wash my hair, and then my body before rinsing quickly and turning off the water. There is a towel hanging on a hook, so I grab it and wrap it around myself. Bending over, I reach to pick up my clothes, only to realize that they got wet in the process of showering.

  Great.

  I hang my clothes over the tub to let them dry, and I pop my head out of the bathroom to look into the bedroom. Lex isn’t anywhere in sight, so I walk into the room. I should just climb into bed and sleep naked… but I’d feel weird sleeping naked. Especially in his bed. What if his friends come back, and I have to fight my way out of here or make a run for it? No, I can’t sleep naked.

  Eyeing his dresser, I contemplate getting something myself, but after five minutes of staring at it, I come to the conclusion that I can’t. It just feels wrong going through his stuff, taking his clothes without asking. I just can’t do it. Ugh…

  Wrapping the towel a little tighter around myself, I tiptoe to the door and unlock it. Opening it, I almost expect Lex to be standing on the other side, but when I stick my head out in the hallway, it’s completely empty.

  Where is he? Did he leave?

  With a death grip on the towel, I scurry down the hall and into the living room where I find Lex sitting on the couch looking at something on his phone.

  “Um, hey…”

  His head snaps up, and his eyes lock with mine. “Hey…” his words trail off at the same time his gaze trails down my body. I feel like I’m being inspected, assessed.

  “Can I borrow some clean clothes? I took a shower,” I state the obvious.

  “Sure.” Lex jumps up from the couch.

  I figured he would just tell me to help myself to a shirt from his dresser or something, but apparently, he wants to get it himself. Turning, I start to walk back toward the room, but Lex’s deep growl has me stopping dead in my tracks.

  “What the fuck?”

  “What?” I squeak, whirling around to face him.

  Nostrils flaring, he looks like a bull ready to charge, and all I can do is cower in fear. I’m still confused and stare up at him as he stomps toward me. He lifts his hand, and for a moment, I’m frozen in fear before instinct kicks in, and I flinch away, gritting my teeth to prepare for the pain of his blow, but it never comes. Instead, he drops his hand to his side, and shock overtakes his features before it gives way to fury.

  “Who the hell hurt you?”

  “Hurt me?” My body trembles, and then it dawns on me. My back, the bruises and scars. He saw them when I turned around.

  Panic rises up, and I feel the irrational need to protect myself. “It’s nothing.” He takes another step, stopping only once our chests are almost touching, the scrap of towel, the only thing separating us.

  “It’s not nothing. Who the fuck hurt you?”

  He reaches for the towel as if he wants to take a better look, and like a feral animal, I react, giving his firm chest a hard shove, but one push isn’t going to stop someone as big as him and with the determination that’s in his eyes, I know he’s not going to stop until he gets what he wants.

/>   “Leave me alone,” I growl, struggling to get away from him while keeping the towel in place. Lex doesn’t seem to care about anything but investigating my wounds further, and within seconds, I find I’m trapped between the wall and him.

  There is no escape. I’m trapped.

  “I will kill whoever did this to you,” Lex snarls, the darkness in him pushing to the surface. Reaching for the hem of the towel, his hand tightens around the fabric, and I tug against him at the same time he pulls. I don’t stand a chance against Lex, and I know it, so I’m not all that surprised when the towel is pulled completely away, and I’m left exposed.

  Using my arms to cover my chest, I shiver as the cold air kisses my skin. Looking down at the floor, I stare at my feet, anything but his face.

  I feel vulnerable and broken–like he can see all the fucked-up pieces of myself.

  “Turn around,” Lex orders, his voice gentle, and perhaps it’s the sound of his voice or how broken I feel in that moment, I don’t know, but I do as he asks, showing him my back.

  I can hear his sharp intake of breath, and tears fill my eyes. I can only imagine what he’s thinking. How repulsive I look. How ugly I am now that I’m scarred.

  I feel ashamed, damaged, and I can’t bear to stand here one more second and be judged by a man that I thought was different, better.

  With tears in my eyes, I reach down and pluck the towel off the ground and dart into the bedroom, slamming the door behind me, turning the lock into place before he has the chance to come barging through it.

  Walking backward, I stare at the door with blurry eyes, waiting for the moment when he comes clobbering at the door, but it never happens. I stand there for a long time, just staring, my heart cracking in my chest.

  After a while, I’m certain he won’t try and come into the bedroom, so I go to the dresser, pull out a shirt and pair of boxers, and put both on. Then I crawl into his bed and pull the covers up and over my head. I lie in the fetal position, pulling my knees up to my chest. Burying my nose into the fabric of the oversize shirt, I sob and sob until there isn’t a single tear left inside me. Lex’s scent surrounds me, and eventually, exhaustion takes over, and I drift into a dreamless sleep, knowing that whatever Lex and I had before, will never be the same again.