The Promise: A Secret Baby Romance (North Woods Universtiy Book 5)

by J. L. Beck

  “That’s a lot of work.”

  “Yeah,” she says with a shrug. “But I kind of like it. I love doing schoolwork.” She beams like she is being completely serious. “I was kind of worried about you when you didn’t show up last night. I moved in yesterday.”

  “I’m actually staying with a friend. Matter of fact, I was just coming up here to get some clothes. I’m going to stay with him another night,” I explain, and watch Blair’s face fall. She must have been looking forward to having a roommate, and I smashed that to smithereens. Guilt gives way, and I decide I have to make it up to her. “Maybe we can meet for coffee in the morning? My first class doesn’t start until ten tomorrow, if you’re up for it, we could grab some breakfast before?”

  “That sounds amazing!” she yells and does a small jump like this is the most exciting thing she’s ever heard.

  She watches me as I grab my duffle bag from under the bed and start to throw some clothes in there.

  “One night, huh?” She smiles. Only then do I realize how much stuff I’m packing.

  “Maybe more than one night, but we’ll hang out, I promise.” I don’t know why I have the urge to assure her, or why I even have the need to befriend her, but I do. Maybe it’s my own desire to have friends since I’ve never really had any.

  “Not to be nosy, but is he your boyfriend or…” She looks away as if she’s embarrassed for even asking.

  “No, no. Just… I wouldn’t even say we’re friends, and it’s a temporary thing, nothing serious.” I grab a hairbrush and some bathroom stuff. Then I zip the duffel bag and turn to look over at her. “I’ll meet you here at nine, okay?”

  Blair nods her head profusely, a smile covering her entire face. “I’ll see you then!”

  I feel horrible as I leave the dorm, descending the steps slowly. The first time I get a roommate, and I’m stuck being babysat by Lex.

  When I push through the doors downstairs, I check the time on my disposable phone. Shit! I’m going to be late for work.

  Walking up to Lex, who is leaning against a nearby tree, people watching, I say, “I have to go to work. Night shift at a gas station.”

  Lex gives me a sour look. “Night Shift at a gas station? That sounds terrible… and dangerous.”

  I roll my eyes at him. If only he knew of the life I lived before coming here. “It’s not dangerous, I’ve been working there for weeks. Now, you can either drive me, or I’m going to walk. Your choice.”

  When he doesn’t answer me right away, I take his silence as a no. But when I call his bluff and start walking away from him, he grabs my arm and pulls me back toward him.

  “Fine. I’ll drop you off.” His voice is gruff, laced with annoyance. Clearly, he’s not happy about this, but I don’t care. This is my life, and I worked hard to get here. It might not be great, but it’s mine. I’m in control now, control of my fate, of my future.

  “Fine,” I echo his word before I turn in his hold and walk toward the parking lot.

  His hand on my arm drops, but he doesn’t let me go. Instead, he grabs my hand, interlacing our fingers, and continues holding it as he falls into step beside me. Out of the corner of my eye, I look at our connected hands.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Holding your hand,” he says with a grin.

  “Why?”

  “Because I want to.”

  I should pull my hand from his grasp. I should tell him to stop and shove him away, but the stupid feeling in my chest tells me to hold on. I shouldn’t enjoy having him hold my hand, but I do. It feels nice… and oddly natural.

  With Lex, I realize quickly that I need to pick and choose my battles. Sometimes it’s better to give in, to save my energy for the things that really matter to me. I decide this is not worth fighting him over, so I let him hold my hand all the way to his truck.

  He lets go to open the passenger door and ushers me inside. Immediately, I miss the loss of contact, my hand cold and empty, and I curse myself inwardly for feeling this way, for getting attached to him when I should be trying to get away. Men have ruled me my entire life, and now I’m melting into another man’s arms like a chocolate bar, the only difference is Lex isn’t nearly as cruel as the men I grew up with.

  Averting my mind away from the way his touch makes me feel, I give him directions to the gas station I work at. It’s not far from campus; in fact, it’s close enough that I usually walk, and it only takes me twenty minutes.

  “It’s that one over there,” I say, pointing at the corner gas station as we turn the corner.

  The color drains from Lex’s face. “Fuck no! This is the shittiest part of North Woods, and you expect me to leave you here?” He pulls up to the curb and tosses the car into park, twisting in his seat to look at me. The rich brown locks of hair on the top of his head, which are a little longer than the hair at the sides, look incredibly soft, and I wonder if now would be a strange time to run my fingers through them. “Do you know how many times this gas station gets robbed each year?” Again, I say nothing, and he keeps shaking his head. Knowing he cares for me so much when no one has ever cared for me in my life, makes my heart squeeze tightly in my chest. “No, no. You’re not working here anymore,” Lex’s voice booms in my ears, and that simple response is like ice-cold water being poured down my back.

  “Excuse me?” I turn to him, puzzled, and wondering where he gets off on telling me what I can and cannot do?

  Lex doesn’t seem as if he’s going to stand down though and straightens in his seat. “I don’t want you working here. It’s sketchy, and dangerous, and there are so many other jobs closer to campus that you could have. You don’t need this.”

  “Not only do I need this job very much, but I also want it. You don’t think I applied to other places? Nobody wanted me. Rick hired me on the spot.”

  “I’m sure he did,” Lex growls, his lips pull into a deep grimace.

  “I’m grateful for this job, and I’m not giving it up just because you don’t like it. I’m on a scholarship, but that doesn’t pay for everything. I need this job.”

  “I’ll find you a new job, and in the meantime, I’ll help out. I can give you some money. Let me take care of you.”

  Anger bubbles up in my gut, threatening to erupt like a supervolcano. I know what taking care looks like. He wants me to depend on him. He wants me helpless and in need, but that’s not going to happen. I won’t fall for this. “I don’t need anyone to take care of me. I take care of myself.”

  And with that, I storm out of the truck, slamming the door behind me. I waltz across the sidewalk, hoping that he won’t come after me. Only when I’m inside, do I dare to look back at the truck. He didn’t leave, but he didn’t get out either.

  All he’s doing is staring at me, and he looks pissed. Too bad for him. I spin around on my heel and head to the back of the store to put my work shirt on.

  Just as I pull the faded red Quick Stop gas station shirt over my head, I hear someone walk into the room. I spin around half expecting to find Lex. Instead, Rick walks in without knocking. Not surprising.

  “Oh, sorry, didn’t know you were getting dressed in here,” he leers.

  Okay, I lied. I might need this job, but I don’t like it. Rick gives me the creeps, and this isn’t the first time he’s accidentally walked in on me changing. That’s why I always put the shirt over what I’m wearing.

  “It’s okay, I’m fully dressed anyway,” I say awkwardly while tugging at the hem of my shirt.

  “Yeah…” He looks me up and down, his beady eyes raking over me, and even while fully dressed, I suddenly feel naked. “I’m heading out for a bit. You got the store, right?”

  “Ah, sure.” He hasn’t left me alone before to run the place, but I guess I know everything I need to know. Still, being completely alone here at night is a little scary. I hate to admit it, but now I wish Lex would have stayed with me.

  7

  Lex

  Did she seriously just get out of the truc
k and walk the fuck away mid-conversation? Yes, she did. I watch as she walks across the road, then the parking lot, and disappears inside.

  I take some calming breaths and grab the steering wheel, strangling it with my hands. Reasoning with myself, I try to think about what I said, and how it may have bothered her. All I want to do is protect her, and all she wants to do is fight that protection.

  Does she think I’m trying to control her? Force her to do something? I wouldn’t even consider doing that. I’d just rather have her somewhere else than here. Somewhere safe, somewhere that she doesn’t have to look over her shoulder every five seconds.

  Doing my best to let go of the anger pulsing through my veins, I watch her, not even feeling bad about my newfound obsession. The age difference between us doesn’t mean shit to me, nor does the fact that we’re at two different points in our lives. Before Jude walked into that bar, I had no purpose, but now I feel as if I have one, and the marks on her back have only encouraged that deep-seated need to protect her.

  Staring at the dilapidating building, I wonder why Jude would decide to work here, in this shitty gas station, in the bad part of North Woods when she could easily work anywhere on campus. Hell, if I told my brother she was looking for work, I don’t doubt he would make up some random position for her, especially if he knew she was working here.

  Leaning my seat back, I adjust my cap on my head and prepare to sit here for the next few hours. Part of me wishes I could turn off the protective nature Jude brings out in me, but another part of me enjoys it. Enjoys watching her, making sure she is safe. She doesn’t understand the need, and I can’t fault her for not getting it.

  I’ve been thinking about what I found online about Ivan and Roman and the gym. It’s just another reason for me to watch over her.

  “She’s a liability. Make sure she stays quiet or someone else will.” I can hear Roman’s voice in my head like a blinking warning sign. What did he mean by that? Was he going to send someone out to hurt her? My muscles tense at the thought. I need to talk to him, to ask him what he meant by that statement.

  Headlights dart across the truck, blinding me for a moment as a beat-up Durango pulls up to a gas pump. Two guys climb out, laughing and swaying on their feet. Blood starts to pump through my veins at an accelerated rate, and I can hear the beat of my heart in my ears.

  Involuntarily, I grab the door handle and cautiously watch as one of the guy’s attempts to pump gas while the other stumbles up to the door. Like a mountain lion watching prey, I give them my full attention, slipping out of the truck, I fall back on my time in the military, moving without a sound.

  One guy meanders into the gas station, and I watch through the windows as he walks straight back to the coolers for beer. The guy outside finishes pumping gas and walks inside as well. A bad feeling festers in my gut, and I stalk closer to the building. It could be nothing, or it could be everything.

  Peeking around the corner, I spot Jude and the guy who pumped gas having a conversation. I want to snap his neck for even talking to her, but that’s irrational of me.

  I push the door open and walk inside. There is a bell ringing above my head, but neither Jude nor the guy pays me any attention.

  Grinning, he leans forward over the counter and touches her cheek with his hand.

  Fear flickers in her blue eyes for a fraction of a second before she slaps his hand away, and I know I’m about to lose my shit.

  “Come on, baby, don’t play hard to get.”

  I don’t think, I just move. Probably faster than I’ve ever moved before. Crossing the room in a flash, I grab the asshole by the neck and pull him away from Jude, who lets out a tiny shriek. The guy stumbles back and into a shelf, dragging off boxes of candy as he goes.

  “What the fuck,” he slurs, just as his friend comes up behind me. He tries to tackle me, but I’m faster and stronger. Overpowering him with ease, I strike before he knows what’s going on. My fist slams into his nose, bones crunch beneath my knuckles, and I can’t help but smile.

  “Lex! Stop!” Jude yells, but my body moves on instinct. I couldn’t stop even if I wanted to.

  When guy one is backing up, holding his bleeding broken nose, guy two has his go. He swings, almost hitting me, but I duck down in time just to come back up with my already bloody fist, clipping him right in the jaw.

  I’m vaguely aware of the doorbell ringing behind us, but I don’t give it my full attention until I hear someone else coming up behind me.

  “Hey! Stop it, take it outside, assholes. You’re messing up my store!”

  I look over my shoulder and find the guy I’m assuming is Rick, sneering at me. He is older than me, old enough to be balding. He also has a beer gut and yellow teeth. A prime human specimen all around. He’s just another shit stain under my boot.

  “I was just about to leave anyway,” I growl. “Let’s go, Jude.”

  I swing my gaze over to her, fully expecting her to fight me on this, thinking I’m going to have to drag her out of here. But to my surprise, she just nods her head and dashes around the counter toward me.

  “You can’t just leave,” Rick spits, his eyes on Jude.

  “She can, and she will. Better yet, she’s not coming back either,” I tell him while watching Jude pull her work shirt off, over her head, throwing it down onto the counter.

  “I quit. Not because he said so, but because I want to,” Jude explains before pushing past me and out the door. I give the drunk idiots one last warning look and turn to walk out, but Rick isn’t done yet.

  “She didn’t give two-weeks-notice, so she ain’t getting her check,” he yells, narrowing his eyes. Rage still pumps through my veins, and this idiot is going to be the one thing that sets me ablaze all over again.

  “You listen up, and you listen well. She was damn near assaulted in your gas station, and you’re worried about her quitting before she puts her two weeks in. You’re a special kind of piece of shit, aren’t you?”

  “Get the fuck out!” he growls, taking a step toward me, but what he doesn’t know is that I’m not intimidated by shit, least of all him.

  Crowding him, I walk right up to him until my boots touch his. “I’ll fucking leave when I damn well please, and you better send her her check in the mail. Otherwise, I’ll personally come to get it.”

  Beads of sweat form against his forehead, and I consider knocking him out, but choose not to. Enough blood has been spilled by my hand tonight. God knows, if Sebastian had to come bail me out of jail, I would never hear the end of it.

  Giving him one last dirty look, I turn and walk out of the piece of crap place, knowing damn well, I would do it all over again.

  When it comes to Jude, there isn’t anything I won’t do.

  8

  Jude

  My hands are still trembling when we get into the truck. Lex doesn’t say anything, and I do my best not to look at his fists, which are bloody. I know I’ve basically lost my job because of this, but I can’t find it in myself to blame him for hurting those men.

  I can still see the feral look in his eyes, the way he gritted his teeth and the sound of his knuckles as they landed against flesh.

  Those men were going to do far worse to me than Lex had done to them if he hadn’t shown up. I knew it, and I was ready to fight, not caring if it was two against one. Luckily, it never came to it, and Lex swooped in like a white knight, ready to save the day.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I watch him struggle to gain control over his emotions. His chest is heaving, and even in the dark space, I can see his features are wild, his eyes darting everywhere, the angle of his cheeks higher, and his jaw tightened and sharp as a knife’s edge. He’s dangerous, and chaos, and everything I need to stay away from, but yet can’t.

  Lex finally breaks the silence, and the tension seems to ease between us.

  “Look, I’m sorry you had to see that, but it was either, hurt them or let them hurt you, and I wasn’t going to let that happen.”


  I nod. “I know.”

  And I do, I know it was them or me in that instance, and I’m grateful that Lex was there.

  “I know this is the second time you’ve seen that side of me, but I don’t want you to assume that I’m a violent person. I wouldn’t ever hurt you, or even touch you in a fit of rage. The person who did that to your back…they’ll pay for hurting you.”

  His fiery need to protect me, makes me want to ease deeper into him, but I can’t allow myself to do that. He’s not a safety net that I can jump into, he won’t catch me if I fall.

  Shaken up, I settle into the seat for the remainder of the drive. When we pull up to the house, I grab my bag from the back seat and get out of the truck just as he shifts it to park. I feel sick thinking of how much I’ve relied on Lex without even realizing it.

  I promised myself when my father disowned me that I wouldn’t let myself be controlled by another. I think Lex’s feelings come from a good place, but I can’t be sure. I can’t trust him just yet. I’m worried I’m falling back into old habits.

  I can feel Lex trailing behind me and stop at the door so he can open it. Once inside, I slip out of my shoes. My feet are throbbing, and my head is pounding. I really just want to shower and go to sleep, but I have homework, and it’s been a while since I ate something, so I should probably do that.

  “I’m going to make us some dinner, do you want to join me in the kitchen?” Lex offers, and I nibble on my bottom lip with indecision. Getting closer to him will only make things worse once he’s let go of the idea of protecting and watching over me. Somehow, I’m still tempted to be around him, drawn into the goodness like a moth to a flame.

  “Sure,” I reply before I can really think deeper on it. Lex seems relieved by my choice and walks into the kitchen. A moment later, I hear the faucet turn on. He’s probably cleaning the blood off his hands.

  Images of the way he took those two guys out flicker through my mind. The pure will and determination in his movements. He didn’t hesitate one single bit. He didn’t think about the consequences, he just attacked. I shouldn’t be okay with him inflicting violence on my behalf, but Lex has wormed his way into my heart.