Love Before Midnight

by Kathleen Ball

  Joleen got up and started walking around the library, touching everything, picking things up and turning them over to see where they came from. “No presents under the tree?”

  Maverick walked in with Cooper. “We don’t do presents. Cooper, whiskey?”

  “That’d be great,” he answered, his eyes drinking in the sight of Belle.

  “I’m so glad I could join you this year,” Joleen enthused.

  Maverick turned from the sideboard and stared at Belle. He took a deep breath and nodded to Joleen. “What a pleasant surprise.” The lack of enthusiasm in his voice almost made Anora laugh.

  “How’s your day going, Anora?” he asked.

  Her face heated, and she took another sip of wine. “It’s been one of the best I’ve had in a very long time. Belle and I finished decorating, and I haven’t laughed so much before.”

  “Before your supposed abduction?” Joleen asked giving her a pointed look.

  Anora opened her mouth and closed it again. She glanced at Belle, Cooper and finally Maverick.

  “Joleen, Anora is my guest and I expect everyone to treat her with the utmost respect.” His jaw clenched.

  “I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry, Anora.”

  She nodded but her joy left. Of course, it had been since before her abduction and for a few hours being with Belle she’d forgotten about it. Now the feeling of not measuring up shrouded her. Maybe they did just pity her. They didn’t care for Joleen, yet they were being polite.

  “Anora, are you okay? You have the saddest look on your face.” Maverick’s gentle voice was almost her undoing.

  Swallowing hard she nodded. “Of course, I am. I’m glad to be here.” She felt the heat of Maverick’s gaze, but she didn’t dare look at him. “I have a ham in the oven if you’ll excuse me.” She put her wine glass on the table and hurried out of the room. It wasn’t Joleen’s fault, it was her own darned low self-worth. She didn’t doubt she was staying at the ranch out of pity, and Joleen was probably right, they’ll rehome her. She’d leave before that happened. She did have a house of her own. She hadn’t realized she’d become Maverick and Belle’s problem.

  She opened the oven and it smelled heavenly.

  “Need some help?” She jumped and turned.

  “You scared me. I was lost in thought.” She stared into Maverick’s eyes, looking for pity, but she didn’t see any.

  “Let me lift it out for you.”

  “I can do it myself.”

  “I know; I just want to help.” He took the potholders from her and lifted the ham out of the oven. “Where do you want it?”

  “On the counter over there.”

  Maverick nodded and put the pan on the counter. “I’m sorry Joleen made you feel unwelcome. She has a way with words, not in a good way. I’m glad you’re here. You’re not a stray I took in. I could have paid to put you up elsewhere, but I was greedy.”

  “Greedy?”

  “Yes, I wanted you here with me. I’m starting to think about you too much, and it eases my mind you are safe. Plus, I have to admit I like talking with you.”

  She didn’t know what to say. Her emotions were all scattered and tightly twisted at the same time. She could be happy here, but Maverick didn’t plan to open his heart, and she couldn’t do a pretend marriage again even with the best intentions. Then there was the little problem with intimacy. She didn’t know if it as something she could do.

  “Belle sent me in here to hurry things along. I have a feeling she wants dinner done and over with and a certain guest gone,” Cooper said his eyes full of amusement. “It’s not you, Anora, she’s rude to me too. So, we eat. No mention of dessert and start yawning.”

  “It’s only six o’clock,” she protested. “Besides she only wants to be with Maverick.”

  “Hey, don’t put this on me. Who answered the door?” They all burst out laughing and hurried to get the food on the table.

  Anora smiled when Joleen sat herself next to Maverick. At one point, Maverick started to choke and Joleen gave him an adoring smile. One glance under the table and she could see Joleen trying to put her bare foot on Maverick’s lap. She gasped.

  “That’s enough, Joleen. I don’t want your foot on me,” Maverick said angrily. Joleen turned a bright shade of scarlet.

  “I know I’m done,” Belle announced as she stood up, grabbed her plate and went into the kitchen.

  “Me too.” Cooper grabbed a few plates and followed her.

  Maverick smiled at her and then at Joleen. “If you ladies will excuse me, it’s my turn to do the dishes, and then I’m hitting the hay.”

  “I’ll help you, Maverick.”

  “Joleen, it’s sweet of you to offer, but it’s tradition. It’s men only and we all go to bed early.”

  “Seriously?” Joleen sighed and seemed deflated. “Maybe tomorrow?”

  “I’m as sorry as can be but it’s a day for Belle and I.”

  “She’s going to be here,” Joleen accused as she pointed at Anora.

  “She’s family. Like I said, sorry. Here let me escort you out.”

  Anora watched Maverick take Joleen’s elbow and walk her toward the front door. She shook her head. Joleen probably wouldn’t have even stopped by if it weren’t for her. No matter what she did her actions seemed to have unintended consequences. A tear rolled down her face and she quickly dashed it away. She stood up straight, her shoulders back, vowing not to ruin their Christmas.

  Maverick returned and winked at her. “Glad that’s done. I try to be nice, really I do, but she pushed her way in.” She glanced at the floor. “Oh hell, you don’t think I see you in the same light, do you? I’m glad you’re here and I hope you stay a while.”

  Her heart lightened and she met his gaze. He certainly looked sincere. “Let’s get the dishes done.”

  “Heck no. Belle and Cooper are in there getting them done. As far as I’m concerned, the more time they spend alone, the better. Did she tell you she was the world's barrel racing champ?”

  She shook her head. “She never said a word.”

  “She has a room full of trophies. I do too.” He smiled. “Would you like to come up and see them?” She stiffened and felt frozen to the spot where she stood. “Darn, I scared you, didn’t I? Me and my big mouth.”

  “It’s fine, really.”

  “No, it’s not. Let’s grab our coats and look at the stars. It’s always a spectacular sight.”

  Her shoulders relaxed as she nodded. “Thanks, it sounds great.” They put on their coats and walked out into the cold winter night. The stars did seem unusually bright. They walked to the empty corral and craned their necks upward.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  She put her hand on his arm. “It’s not your fault. I’m just broken, and I can’t find all the pieces to put myself back together. I don’t understand how I can feel so at peace in your arms yet ready to fly into pieces at a remark. I know you didn’t mean anything other than really showing me your trophies.”

  “Actually, it was a pick up line. A joke gone wrong.”

  “You shouldn’t have to worry about what you say. You wouldn’t around a normal person.” She shrugged and put her hands in her pockets.

  “Who’s to say what is normal and what isn’t? Given all, you’ve been through I think we need to rethink what is normal. You’ll never react the same as you would have before that monster Andy took you.” A tear trailed down her face. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  “It’s just no one ever called him a monster. They usually referred to him as my husband- ex-husband really. Thank you for caring. It means the world to me.” She pulled her hands out of her pockets and hugged him around his waist. The sound of his heartbeat through his heavy coat soothed her.

  “Of course, I care.” Maverick stroked her back, then pulled her close. She closed her eyes as they stood there for a long time. She needed to hold on to this feeling for as long as she could. It was so much more than feelin
g safe, and it scared the hell out of her.

  “I think small steps are probably what you need. Heck, I loved how you showed your disapproval to Joleen. I bet the old you wouldn’t have.”

  “I would have been too afraid to say anything to her.”

  He gave her a gentle squeeze. “See you’re already finding yourself. It really must have been hard to be the same young girl your family expected you to be. You would have grown up anyway, they just missed it. Do you want to call them?”

  “Tomorrow. I promised to call for Christmas.” She stepped away and smiled at him. “Thank you for bringing me out here. I lived in this town for many years and hardly ever saw the night sky. It’s beautiful! It amazes me, the things people take for granted. The chilled air blowing through my hair, just being out at night is a gift. I honestly don’t think I’d have gone outside at night at my house.”

  His dimples showed as he gave her one of his sexy grins. “I like seeing those things through your eyes. You bring a warmth to my life I’ve never had before. Don’t worry I’m not trying to make moves on you. It’s nice being here together as friends.”

  “Yes.” Her heart pinged. She thought she was through with men, but the one who stood in front of her was the exception. He filled her with love and hope. He made her feel like a normal woman instead of some freak. Unrequited love but it was what it was. Anyway, she knew she’d never be able to be in her husband’s bed. Andy had done unspeakable things to her, and there was no way she’d ever be intimate with a man. Besides Andy always said her body was ugly. She didn’t even look at herself after a shower. Seeing the truth of it would just crush her.

  “What is it? The look on your face is so pensive.”

  “I’m just so glad to have you and Belle in my life. I was just thinking I don’t know what I’d be doing if I were at my house. Hiding under the bed most likely.”

  “Ready to go back in? We’ll use the back door. I don’t want to interrupt Belle and Cooper. They are meant for each other, they just haven’t admitted it yet.” He took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “Plus, you need to get up early to put the turkey in.” He laughed.

  “I already planned on it.”

  “I was teasing. Actually, I usually put the turkey in and let Belle sleep, not that she does. She’s an early riser too.”

  “I haven’t figured out when people are teasing. I’m so used to commands and demands it’s hard to think someone is kidding.” He studied her for a long minute. He probably was finally realizing how damaged she was. She looked down at her feet. He’d have the look of her being too different, and she didn’t want to see it. Not yet anyway.

  “Ready to go in?”

  She nodded and followed him back to the house. It occurred to her maybe she should be walking next to him instead of behind, but some habits were hard to break. That was the reason for her living alone. She needed to figure out what was the right way to act. Being afraid all the time left little room for other emotions, even anger.

  She thought about it long and hard later as she lay in bed. She had a right to be angry. She’d spent the last year trying to placate her family, trying to smile. Her therapist told her she had a right to her feelings, but she kept the anger hidden deep inside. Now she was livid. Andy stole so much from her. He stole her dignity, her pride, her sense of self, her safety, her ability to be calm and happy. Maybe if she weren't so damaged, Maverick would be interested in her. She tossed and turned, finally coming to the realization there was never going to be a future for them. She’d been stupid to have even thought about it for a single second.

  Now that was settled, she could just enjoy her time with him and Belle.

  Coffee was made, homemade sweet rolls were on the counter still hot and the turkey was in the oven. Maverick smiled in satisfaction as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He sat at the table gazing out the front window. The cowboys had all gotten their Christmas bonuses. They were a happy lot. They usually went to the diner and had Christmas dinner there, then headed down to Sledges for a few drinks. A few would stay behind to keep the place secure. A sense of pride washed over him as he gazed at the horizon. He’d had to be as tough as they came, but doggone it, he succeeded. He and Belle both.

  He walked over to the stereo and turned Christmas music on. Which sleepy head would be down first? He hoped it was Anora. His thoughts startled him. What happened to his cold hard heart? The hell with it, if being with her made him happy why not? If he took it slow, perhaps…

  “Good Morning.” Anora’s eyes lit up when she spied him. “I thought you were kidding about being the one to put the turkey in. Are those sweet rolls? You didn’t make them, did you?”

  “I sure did. I know my way around the kitchen. I just don’t have time to cook most of the time.” He put a roll on a plate and handed it along with a fork to her.

  “Ohhh,” she gushed after her first bite. “This is heaven.” She closed her eyes and sighed.

  “Glad you like it.” What he wouldn’t give for her to have the same look when she talked to him. He swallowed hard. This was going to be a long holiday hiding his feelings for her. Pretty as a picture but too scared for what he had in mind.

  “Merry Christmas, Maverick. Thank you so much for having me here. I dreaded being alone, but there wasn’t any way I could be with my family. They just don’t know how to let me be. I think it helps you didn’t know the before me. You have no expectations of how I’m supposed to act. I can smile or frown and it’s not a major thing. You don’t stare at me wondering what I’m thinking. I appreciate it. You and Belle.”

  “We’re glad you’re here. Merry Christmas to you too. Expectations are a pain in the neck. People know what to expect from me. They know I can be a son of a bitch if warranted. I’m glad I have good people working for me. I don’t enjoy playing the role of hard ass.”

  “I know you say what you mean, but there’s a difference between a hard ass and being a boss.”

  Both the landline and his cell rang at the same time. He answered his cell. “Hello?”

  “We need you down at the barn. Rumble is down. The vet is on his way but it doesn’t look good,” Cooper told him.

  “Darn. I’ll be right there.” He hung up.

  Anora’s eyebrows rose as she waited for him to speak.

  “Something is wrong with Rumble.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek and hurried away. Her skin was so soft, and she smelled like sweet lavender, but he didn’t have time to luxuriate in the feeling of being close to her. “Tell Belle when she comes down.”

  “I hope everything is okay.” He heard her say as he raced out the door. Running the whole way, he made it to the barn and the look on Cooper’s face did anything but reassure him.

  “He went down in his stall about ten minutes ago and it might be colic, but I have a bad feeling. Dr. Martin is on his way. Man, what a way to start out a holiday.”

  He didn’t acknowledge Cooper. “Get him out of the stall. We need to keep him up.”

  “I tried and he won’t leave the stall. I thought I’d wait for you. Maybe you can calm him a bit.”

  Rumble was down again and screaming. It wasn’t like anything he’d ever seen before. “How long until the doc?”

  “About five more minutes.”

  Rumble didn’t look like he had five more minutes. His eyes kept rolling into the back of his head until only the white of his eyes were visible. “If I didn’t know better, I’d swear he’d been poisoned.”

  “That thought crossed my mind too,” Cooper said. He sighed in relief when they heard the doctor’s truck pull up. “He’s here. I’m hoping for a miracle.” Cooper hurried out of the barn to meet the vet.

  Maverick stepped into the stall and patted Rumble’s neck. “It’ll be okay boy. Dr. Martin will be here in a minute. You like him.” His gut twisted as he gazed at his struggling horse. White stuff was coming out of Rumble’s mouth. It was the end and it broke his heart.

  “Step aside, Maverick.” Dr. Mar
tin waited for his to leave the stall before he went in. His shoulders sagged as he looked Rumble over. “Poison most likely. I’d like your permission to put him down. Let’s get him outside. I’m sure he’d rather take his last breaths out there. Cooper, come help me.”

  They got Rumble up on his feet one last time and Maverick led him outside. This time when he went down, they allowed him to stay. It was hard to sit at his head and tell him what a great horse he was as the doctor injected him. Rumble took one last breath and shuddered. He was gone.

  His best friend was gone. It didn’t matter Rumble was supposed to be the future of the ranch. An emptiness so great grew inside him. Darn he wanted to kick something.

  “Maverick, man I’m so sorry. I don’t know how this happened,” Cooper said trying to give comfort.

  “I do. Darn Anora’s husband! I don’t know how he did it, but he found some way to get Rumble poisoned. He might have pushed Anora around but not me. It’s time to push back.”

  “It’s a shame, Maverick. I wish there were something I could have done to save him.”

  “Doc, you did your best. Some things can’t be fixed. Thanks for ending his suffering. Now go back to that beautiful wife and little girl you have. It is Christmas.”

  Dr. Martin shook Maverick’s hand and hurried to his truck.

  “It’s an awful thing, Maverick.”

  “You might as well come with me to the house. I want to review the video footage and see what the heck happened.”

  They walked in silence to the house. Christmas music could be heard as they walked in, and he hated being the bearer of bad news. Belle came hurrying toward them from the kitchen. Her face full of worry.

  “What happened? How is Rumble?” She took Maverick’s hand.

  He shook his head and turned away not wanting her to see the sheen of tears forming in his eyes. If it had been an injury or colic, it would have been more bearable somehow. The fact that it was poison made him feel like a failure. He failed to protect his horse. How the hell was he qualified to keep Anora safe? He swallowed hard and squeezed Belle’s hand.

  “Rumble was poisoned. He’s dead.” He heard a loud gasp and glanced over Belle’s head. Anora stood there wide eyed with her hand over her mouth.