Off Beat (Forgotten Flounders Series Book 1)

by J. C. Hannigan

  “That sounds good,” I managed despite the tightening in my throat.

  He grinned at me before his wrist turned, the engine rumbling to life. He put it in reverse and checked his mirrors, his arm going behind my seat as he backed out of my driveway.

  I tried not to dwell on the fact that Asher and I regularly frequented The Codfather. It was one of the best restaurants in town, and it was only open for three seasons out of the year. People were bound to recognize us, and the gossip mill would start churning.

  I ducked my head, buckling up as I tried to rationalize with myself. Calum used to have fish and chips with his grandfather every Sunday, so I knew this was important to him. And what did it matter if people talked, anyway? The locals would eventually find out about it—and it would be big news in the music industry, too.

  That thought made me feel more than a little sick as we headed downtown to the fish and chips restaurant. He found parking, and we walked in together, coming to a stop in front of the hostess booth.

  Mahone Bay was a small town, so the wait staff were familiar enough with me to recognize me in the streets, and everybody seemed to know who Calum was.

  It felt like every eye in the restaurant was on us, and anxiety began to thrum through me. A lot of familiar faces were watching us with keen interest. Drawing in a deep breath, I tried to calm my nerves.

  “If you want, we can get it to go,” Calum suggested, his mouth close to my ear so that only I’d hear him. His breath was warm on my lobe and sent tingles straight to my toes.

  He placed his hand on the small of my back, and I somehow felt the heat through my thick winter jacket.

  Our eyes connected, my heart pounding in my ribs.

  “No, it’s fine,” I breathed, sending him what I hoped was a convincing smile. We were there now, and it would look worse if we turned tail and ran. He looked at me with hooded eyes—and I couldn’t tell if he could see the small lie. I was mildly uncomfortable, but I was going to have to adjust to it eventually.

  The hostess returned wearing a friendly smile as she took in Asher and me before coming to a sudden stop when she realized who our third party was. She gawked; her eyes wide with awe as she took him in. Ariel was a friend of Shelly’s, and the youngest—and shyest—daughter of the Davies, who owned The Codfather.

  “Table for three, please,” Cal said warmly, breaking her reverie. She nodded, trembling hands reaching out for three menus. She quickly led us to our table, a booth in the more secluded area of the restaurant. Asher jumped into one of the booths, and I sat beside him while Calum sat down across from us.

  “Adella will be with you in just a few moments,” Ariel informed us with a shaky voice. Her hands trembled as she set the menus down in front of us, her eyes darting from Calum to me. She gave me a tight smile and backed away, accidentally bumping into the table behind her.

  “Thank you, Ariel,” Calum replied, reading her name tag and flashing one of his charming smiles.

  She let out a little squeak and fled to the waitress station, where her older sister Adella was standing. They whispered amongst themselves for a moment before the older girl whisked over, her dark braided hair slung over one shoulder.

  “Hi there! Welcome to the Codfather,” she smiled, her eyes moving from me to Cal and back again with unveiled curiosity before settling on Asher with warmth. Adella had worked at her parents’ restaurant for as long as we’d lived in Mahone Bay. She’d just turned twenty, and she was in her second year of college. “Hey, Asher—what can I get you today? Chocolate milk?” She asked sweetly, smiling warmly at him.

  “Can I get a root beer?” Asher said, pulling my attention away from my ruminating. He was looking at me with pleading eyes.

  “Uh, sure,” I answered, still a little distracted. Normally, I didn’t let Asher drink pop, Adella knew this from the times we’d eaten there. Her eyebrow quirked, and the corner of her lips twitched as she wrote it down.

  Flicking her long dark braid over her shoulder, her cordial gaze moving to me. “And for you?” she asked with a smile.

  “Iced tea would be nice,” I answered.

  “And what will you have?” She buzzed, relishing in the opportunity to focus on Cal’s handsome face.

  This sort of thing had always happened with Cal, even before the fame. Women were drawn to his good looks and brooding, offhanded charm. I imagined it would be worse now that Calum was more than a high school student in a garage band. Women in all demographics would openly flock to him now.

  “Iced tea sounds good,” he replied, glancing at me with a playful grin that weakened my knees. When he looked at me like that—I still felt as if I was his gravity, his home, and that sense of completeness made me want to fade into him every time.

  “I’ll be right back!” she chirped, breaking the spell I’d fallen under before she disappeared to grab our drink order. Unable to withstand the heat of Cal’s steady and purposeful perusal, I glanced at our son, giving him my full focus.

  “Would you like chicken tenders and home fries?” I asked, aware that I was creating a buffer; but it was a necessity. I needed to stay grounded.

  “Yes, please!”

  “I take it you guys come here a lot?” Calum remarked. I looked up, catching him glancing around at the other patrons; most who were openly watching.

  “We do. Mostly with my parents, or Ellery. I’ve been a few times on dates, too.” I replied offhandedly, pausing to sip at my drink, hoping that last bit struck a nerve.

  Calum’s nostrils flared, and his head swiveled back to mine, his intense eyes locking with mine. I don’t know why I’d thrown it in, but now that I had, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was as jealous as I was the day the news broke of him entwined with a model-slash-actress.

  It felt a little satisfying to see the storm brewing in his irises. “Is that so?”

  Before I could speak, Adella returned with a tray of drinks. “Are you guys ready to order?”

  “Can I get chicken tenders and home fries, please?” Asher requested, pushing his menu to the edge of the table.

  “For you?” Adella asked, glancing at me with a slight smile.

  “I’ll have the signature soup with a ciabatta bun,” I replied, my brows pinching together as I closed the menu and placed it on top of Asher’s. I didn’t have much of an appetite but knew if I didn’t try to eat something, I’d regret it later.

  “Fish and chips for me, please,” Calum said when her expectant gaze turned to him.

  “Haddock or cod?” Adella questioned.

  “Cod, please.”

  “Can I get fish and chips, too?” Asher requested. I glanced at him with surprise, my brow arching. In his nearly eight years of life, I’d never succeeded in getting him to eat fish. Any time I presented it to him, he’d vehemently refuse it.

  “Sure thing,” Adella grinned, scratching out Asher’s original order and adding the new one. “Cod or haddock?”

  “Cod!” he answered after a moment of careful consideration. I smiled at the grown-up tone, and Calum laughed lightly, his hands reaching across the table to add his menu to the pile.

  “I’ll be back with your food soon,” Adella told us, reaching into her apron for crayons and setting them down in front of Asher before she headed to pass the order to the kitchen staff.

  Before he could act like he didn’t want the crayons—when really, he loved drawing—Calum picked up a purple crayon and started doodling absently. “Do you like to draw, Asher?” he asked, peering up to look at him.

  “Yeah,” he replied, watching his father colour for a moment.

  “Me too,” Calum grinned, glancing back down at the paper. Asher relaxed, smiling as he reached for the green crayon and started drawing a Minecraft creeper.

  My gaze skirted across the table, to Calum. Every few seconds, he’d glance up, never for very long, but his eyes would trace out everything. He’d do the same for Asher, his hand moving as he sketched.

  Calum had always doodle
d when he had a pen and paper in front of him. His lyric notebooks had been filled with as many doodles as there were songs, and he had done the early cover art for the band’s two indie albums. Asher’s notebooks and homework pages were the same. His agenda was full of drawings, each month at a glance page filled with doodles.

  “Oh cool, what’s that?” Cal asked, leaning forward when he caught a glimpse of Asher’s drawing.

  “It’s a creeper, from Minecraft,” he explained, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

  “Huh, no kidding. What’s that?”

  “It’s only one of the coolest video games ever! I can’t believe you’ve never heard of it! We can play it later today if you want?”

  “If it’s okay with your mom, it sounds great to me,” Calum replied, his eyes gauging my reaction.

  I smiled, hoping to convey that I was okay with it—and I was, but a part of me was a little conflicted. My heart raced in my chest, but it wasn’t because Cal wanted to spend more time with Asher. I was elated they’d hit it off, and that things weren’t strained or awkward.

  But the more time I spent in his presence, the more I gravitated to him. It’s only been a couple of days, I reminded myself—but my heart didn’t seem to care. If the bloody thing had arms, they’d be reaching out to him.

  Hell, we’d already kissed. I’d surrendered so easily that it made me question all the progress I thought I’d made. My lips buzzed, and I pressed a finger against them distractedly. Calum caught my movement and lifted his head, his lips tugging up in a slow grin like he could guess exactly what I was thinking about.

  I dropped my hand, and his gaze went to my lips. He swallowed, blue irises heavy with seriousness as his gaze dropped down to the brown paper tablecloth, hand moving in little strokes as he drew what he saw.

  Shifting uncomfortably, I glanced around the dining hall and took another sip of iced tea. I could see Adella and Ariel near the kitchen window, talking lowly while they waited for food orders.

  “Hey,” Calum said lowly, drawing my attention back to him. The way he gazed at me and the set of his lips told me that he thought I was beautiful. That had been one of the first things that had drawn me to him, how he could express his feelings and emotions so unequivocally though a glance, a touch. He could make me feel like I was his entire world, which is why I’d never suspected he’d leave until he was gone, and why I was so conflicted over his return.

  In a way, it felt like he’d never left. The chasm between us was loaded with all the feelings that had never faded on either part. Right now, we were standing on either side of the chasm, facing each other.

  His dark brow lifted. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine, just trying to figure out where you’re taking us,” I replied, and it was true—in part.

  “Guessing is half the fun,” he said, winking at Asher. He set the crayon down and leaned back against the booth, studying us with a reflective look in his eyes.

  Before I could ask him what he was thinking, Adella returned carrying two plates, her sister Ariel drudging behind her with the third. Adella set her two plates down with flourish—one for Cal and one for Asher, whose lips puckered a little at the sight of the fish. Ariel was less graceful, her hands trembling slightly as she set my soup and bun down in front of me.

  “Looks great, thanks, ladies,” He said, addressing them with a smile.

  “Enjoy!” Adella glanced pointedly at Ariel. The poor girl had completely lost her voice, and her ability to make eye contact for longer than a millisecond. She looked desperate to get away, but frozen in place.

  Sensing her sister’s discomfort, Adella steered her away with a small wave.

  “Everything okay?” Cal asked, catching the pensive frown Asher had sported.

  “Yup!” Asher said, taking a tentative bite. His nose wrinkled a little like he wasn’t sure if he liked it.

  “Do you want chicken tenders instead?” Cal smiled patiently.

  “No, it’s surprisingly kind of good,” Asher replied with mild shock.

  Calum laughed, the sound of it easily tugging an illicit smile from my lips.

  I thought he’d take us to a beach, or a trail. But Calum drove to Brockhouse, pulling in front of a large house with a for sale sign out front, proclaiming it sold. “I get the keys on Friday,” he said, nodding up to the house.

  “You’re moving here?!” Asher exclaimed; eyes wide with excitement.

  “I am,” Calum replied, glancing at me for my reaction.

  “That’s…great,” I managed. He’d told me he was looking, of course. But I hadn’t realized it was all happening so suddenly. The abruptness of it left me disoriented.

  “You’ve got questions.” His lips twitched with amusement.

  “What about work?”

  “Still doing it, just here. Next Monday, the renovations will start. I’m putting a home studio in the guest house. Sound proofing. We’ll still have to go on tours sometimes, but the next one wouldn’t be for six months after we complete our next album, which is in the early stages—as in, we haven’t even written it yet.”

  “Wow,” I breathed, unable to tear my gaze away from him.

  “What do you think?” Cal asked Asher.

  “I think it’s awesome!” he declared with a jubilant grin on his face.

  “Harper?”

  “Yeah, it’s great. It is,” I insisted, challenging his disbelieving look. He could sense something was off—and it was. “Can we walk around?”

  “Yeah, the current owners are out of province. We just can’t go inside yet—have to wait until Friday for that.” He winked, unbuckling his seat belt, and opened the door. Asher hastily climbed out after him, and I took a moment to breathe; to digest how I was feeling.

  The newly blooming hope was growing rapidly, fed with each soul-searing gaze. Each thoughtful small action he took breathed life into me, an awakening.

  With my whole battered and bruised heart, I believed him. I believed that he had thought he was doing the right thing by leaving, that he thought letting me go was in my best interest as much as his. I knew without a doubt that he would never have done that, had he known, just as I knew he would have come back the second he heard of Asher’s existence.

  Our connection was timeless. It transcended pain and abandonment, and flared with each encounter. Did fighting the inevitable even make sense?

  I held the answers in my palms. Stepping out of the Jeep—it’s ironic meaning not lost on me—I joined them as they stood in the driveway and looked around the property.

  “Go check it out,” Calum urged, gesturing with a tilt of his chin, giving Asher free range of the property. He raced around the side of the house, catching sight of the shoreline.

  We followed at a leisurely pace. The back of his hand brushed against mine, and we glanced at each other. “Tell me what you’re really thinking.”

  “I’m just…confused. I haven’t seen or heard from you in years, and suddenly…in a matter of days you’re buying a house and moving back? Permanently?” I stopped walking, turning to face him.

  He stopped, turning to me, eyes sweeping down briefly to my hand as his fingers slipped between mine, before they rose to look beseechingly into my eyes. “I’ve wasted enough time, don’t you think?” he murmured.

  “You can’t just expect things to go back to the way they were.” I huffed, pulling my hand free and stepping back, willfully ignoring my heart’s frantic pounding. Stubborn and scared, despite what I already knew to be true.

  “I don’t. I expect it will be even better this time around.” Calum flashed me a grin that made my insides turn to mush, and moved a little closer, his eyes locked on mine.

  “You’re infuriating,” I said, my voice betraying my exasperation. To say I wasn’t affected by the heat and desire surging in his irises would be a boldfaced lie.

  He grinned. “I know. But I’m tired of fighting what I want.” His gaze turned purposeful, the longing evident. The pull was impossible to
resist.

  “And what is it that you want, Cal?” I asked breathlessly. He moved to stand behind me, his chest pressed against my back. He gestured toward the dock, where Asher was exploring.

  “You. Him. Us. This.” He spoke into the shell of my ear, but when I turned to look at him, he was watching Asher. Sensing my movement, he looked down, a devout smile tugging at his lips.

  I sighed, fighting a smile as I shook my head. I couldn’t help but relax into his embrace. “It’s a nice thought.” Trailing off, I pondered how I could word what I was feeling and thinking.

  “You don’t trust me,” Calum said simply, beating me to the punch. He read the truth of it in my eyes and nodded with somber understanding. “Trust is earned, and that takes time. I’ll stop at nothing to earn yours back. I don’t care how long it takes.”

  His blue eyes were determined, relentlessly prying into my soul. And still, I couldn’t look away, despite feeling so utterly exposed.

  A splash in the water had both our heads turning to the dock, a jolt of panic electrifying me until I saw that Asher was still standing on the dock, tossing rocks into the water. He’d had swimming lessons, of course, and he knew not to go close to it, but accidents happened. When I saw he was safe, I let out a breath of relief, turning back to address Calum with furrowed brows.

  “We’ll continue this particular conversation later?” he asked, and I nodded my agreement. His heady gaze lingered on me for another searing moment before he flashed me a smile and headed down to join Asher at the dock.

  I remained standing on the lawn, the grass cold and brittle beneath my boots, watching him stroll toward Asher. When he stopped beside him, Asher passed Cal a rock, and he threw it. It skipped twice before sinking, and Asher’s laugh spilled across the lawn, making me smile despite my own hapless confusion.

  That sound of laughter allowed the hope to overflow; it made me feel like this was the way things were supposed to be.

  I took a moment to slowly look around—my gaze resting on the wrap-around wooden porch and French doors at the back of the house. As I took it in, I was transported to another time.