by Gina Sturino
Eighteen
As I raised my fist, ready to knock, I realized I’d arrived empty handed—no birthday card, no gift. The bottle of white wine in my other hand would have to suffice. Besides, Dane wasn’t back on my good side quite yet.
Tonight would be a night of reckoning, birthday or not. He’d have to come clean on some of his half-truths. I came prepared with a list of questions in my head, most of which revolved around his job and how he’d secured the apartment. Maybe it was a sublet? If so, he should have known who Mirabel was and easily could have informed her of her ongoing newspaper delivery.
Deep inside, I felt Dane was keeping something from me. The logical lawyer part of me warned to take that gut reaction and run, but a bigger part of me—the woman part with heightened emotions and an undeniable sexual connection—lobbied for an explanation. There had to be a reason behind his little white lies. All I could hope was that they were made in good faith. The feelings I had for Dane were beyond my control. I wanted him, good or bad.
Something about him made me feel alive.
The door flew open, and Dane stood waiting. He looked at the wine, then threw out a casual, “Hey.”
I offered the bottle and smiled. “Happy birthday.”
“I have the SOLO cups ready,” he joked. He took the bottle and stepped aside, allowing barely enough space to cross through the threshold without touching him. Sensing my reservations, he gently said, “Let’s have a glass of this, and then I’ll explain everything.”
The moving boxes had been emptied and discarded. Minimal furnishings made his apartment appear larger than my mirrored unit. But similar to mine, no personal effects were on display. No knickknacks or pictures. I wondered about Dane’s family, his upbringing, potential brothers or sisters. Unlike previous men I’d dated, I felt a keen desire to learn everything about him. We’d spent so much time over the last week together, but much of our conversations focused on the present versus the past, as if we both had secrets we were guarding.
Stemware had been set out, an upgrade from the promised SOLO cups. Dane uncorked the bottle and dispensed it evenly between the two glasses. Handing one over, his fingers brushed deliberately against mine. The current between us already had me feeling dizzy.
Dane held my gaze as he spoke. “Thank you for coming and for allowing me to explain. I’ve been a shit, and I know I don’t really deserve this.”
“Dane—”
“Let’s sit. I’ll start up the grill in a minute.”
Nodding my head, I followed him to the sofa. The last time I was in his apartment, we sat opposite one another with me on the recliner and him on the sofa. Now, he sunk into the cushion beside me. Our knees touched, setting my skin on fire. Our chemistry was undeniable, if not palpable—an electric current that crackled in the air, ready to explode by the slightest fuse.
My eyes shifted to the spot on my knee where we’d touched and remained fixated there when I addressed him. “I’m guessing whatever it is you want to explain… it’s nothing nefarious. I mean, I just need to know there isn’t anything shady going on, and then we can drop this, move forward. I need to know what your relationship is to Mirabel. I—” My voice faltered as a sudden wave of emotion rolled through me. “I knew her.”
Dane’s eyebrows rose at this admission.
“I don’t know if it’s the accident, the concussion, but some of my memories are a little foggy. But I know this, she was a wonderful person. A mother. She has a little girl. Do you know what happened to them?”
He sighed, leaning back. “Not really. I don’t have details. My buddy set up this sublet. From what I heard, she got married and is spending time in Europe.”
“Married?” Now that he said it, I remembered. Mira had gotten married. Of course. She was happy, content, at peace. Relief had me nearly sagging against the sofa cushion.
“She needed this place cleaned up and cleared out. Guess their trip to Ireland was pretty last minute. Mira had loose ends here, wanted someone to help Mrs. Cooper, keep an eye on her. She just lost her cat before Mira left, and I guess they were close. It was a trade-off; I’d help out around here, free of rent, until the lease runs out in October, and it gave me a break from California, new scenery before my next assignment.”
Yeah, I’m keeping an eye on her. He was referring to old Mrs. Cooper during the conversation I’d overheard.
My mood turned hopeful as some of the ambiguity began to clear. Yet, I had to ask, “Assignment? What exactly is your… line of work?”
A deep, troubled exhalation rumbled from Dane. He ran a hand through his hair. “That’s a bit more complicated. This tequila gig is temporary, kind of a side job to pass the time until my next contract.”
“With the military?”
“Never really bothered me, to drop everything for a mission… until now.” Intense blue eyes bore into mine. “The truth is, my time here is limited. The offer to bring Samson’s Tequila to the Midwest was an idea I threw out to help Sam expand. His shit is good, and I had free time to do something for him after all he’d done for me. All the hours I spent at his bar, drinking his liquor for free, never charged me, just thanked me for my service. I figured, what the hell, I’ll see if I can drum up some business for him while I’m here helping my buddy with this apartment.”
My time here is limited. He’d warned me before. Was that why he kept pushing me away? He was only here until the lease ended in October. My heart sunk, suddenly heavy by the idea that he could be leaving.
Reading it on my face, Dane leaned forward and took my hands into his own. I couldn’t help but breathe in the subtle, intoxicating scent of his cologne mixed with wine as he spoke. “I tried to stay away, but from the moment I met you, you… you’re all I can think about. All I want. And I can’t walk away, not anymore. It needs to be you. Either we accept this—whatever it is—or we end it now. But I can’t walk away. I’m putting the reigns in your hands.”
I didn’t need to reply with words; my body gave him my answer. Releasing his hands, I slipped onto his lap, and my mouth met his with the urgency of a starved man finding his bounty. We kissed feverishly, our mouths devouring each other’s taste.
The pace changed abruptly when Dane’s hands came to rest on my hip and at the back of my head. He broke away from our kiss, only to start again, this time slowly, deliberately working his way up my neck, nipping at my lobe before claiming my mouth once more. Now it was a sweet and purposeful exploration. The trail he left along my bare skin seared, passion lighting the flame that had started to flicker in my body the minute I had first laid eyes on him.
With every nerve ablaze, my body never felt more alive, as if my soul itself was set on fire.
His tongue swept along my lower lip, and I could no longer contain the breathy sigh that had built in my chest. Encouraged by my reaction, Dane reclaimed my mouth as his hands simultaneously claimed my body. His large palms cupped the sides of my hips, pulling me in closer so I could feel his erection, his body hard with need. Another sound escaped my lips, this time a groan that caused Dane to loosen his hold, and lessen the pressure building between us.
“Nova,” he whispered into my hair. “I don’t want to stop, but if we don’t now, I know where this will lead.”
Again, I let my body answer his unspoken question. I knew where I wanted it to go, and I was ready, regardless of the ambiguous amount of time we had left. Even if this was for only one night, he had ignited a desire that burned so bright, it felt like lightning striking through my veins. Blinding and scorching. I didn’t know the outcome or what tomorrow might bring, and for the first time, it didn’t matter. I wouldn’t think things through or go the logical route. I’d live. I’d take what felt good right now, what I needed now, and live in the moment. Only heaven knew what the next moment might bring.
My blonde hair curtained his face as I hovered over him. His arms moved up my sides to sweep away the tendrils. He looked into my eyes, searching for my answer. I gave a resol
ute, firm nod, and he pulled me into him. His hands ran along the length of my back, then up my sides and into my hair. They wove through my tangle of curls and cupped the back of my head.
“You’re more than beautiful. More than I deserve,” he whispered before his lips moved over mine, then trailed down my neck. Feeling his need for me, I leaned back and pulled my shirt over my head to expose the lacy, red bra I’d chosen when dressing. Maybe it was a subconscious decision because the racy color and sexy cut pushed my breasts up and created a long line of cleavage screaming for his eyes’ attention. Down they went, drinking in my body, devouring my skin. His mouth followed, tracing a path from my neck to my collarbone, where he stopped to gently kiss the trio of freckles speckling my skin. His fingers lingered over the back of my bra, hesitating for only a few seconds before unclasping it. I let the silk slide down my arms, and then gingerly plucked it away, leaving my upper body bare.
Never one to be ashamed of my body, I was surprised to find my cheeks flush as Dane’s appraising eyes again got their fill. He took his time, studying each limb, each breast, every inch of skin, before returning to meet mine.
“Perfect.” The hunger in his gaze and the honestly in his voice made my insides flip, my stomach flutter, my sex clench.
Next came my turn to explore. I grasped the sides of his T-shirt and pulled it upwards until his hands took over and he lifted it the rest of the way. A black lock lolled over his forehead, and I swept it away, my hand trailing down his cheek. He had strong features that only appeared harder from the thick tension between us. Strong and hard like the rest of him. My fingers wandered over his shoulders and to his chest, feeling muscles that had been defined by long hours in the gym.
A tattoo of a bow and arrow decorated his left pec. I traced it with a finger, and then kissed it. My eyes roamed to his bicep, and I finally saw the entirety of the one which I’d previously only been given a peek. Black, intricate lines twisted into a warrior’s shield.
As my hands traveled lower, down his solid abs to the edge of his trouser shorts, his breath caught, and his weight shifted. He had me flipped onto my back and was hovering over me before I could react. One of my legs settled between his while the other wrapped around his hip. He pulled at my calf and pushed into me so I could again feel the strength of his hard body, the length his erection.
Our chests pressed skin to skin, limbs intertwined. He lifted his weight, but only to allow for his mouth to capture a nipple. I thought I’d melt, my insides turning to liquid as his mouth worked my body, giving it heavenly attention. My nails raked at his back, then moved to clutch his hair. I pressed into him, rubbing against his crotch.
“I need you.” I didn’t recognize the husky sounds coming from my own lips.
He looked up, an almost pleading look on his face. “Are you sure?”
A ghost of a smile graced my lips before I reached over and unbuttoned his pants, which he quickly slipped out of along with his boxers. He removed my stretchy yoga pants. I never wore panties under them. Inch by inch, my body was exposed as the fabric slowly slid over my hips and down my legs.
The sun had begun its decent, casting shadows along the living room. Even in the haze, I caught every expression of Dane’s face as he lowered his body onto mine, entering me and filling me in a way that made me feel whole—complete.
An emptiness I’d lived with for far too long was filled by him, a man I’d known for only days.
A gentle curse slipped from his lips, his eyes meeting mine, and I saw the same look of surprise. He watched intently for a few seconds, not moving, just absorbing the moment, before he began rocking ever so gently. Each movement shot a current of pleasure through my body, the electricity in my veins building.
Our gazes locked.
“Nova,” he commanded in a calm voice that betrayed the fury building between us. “Baby, I want you to come with me, but it’s going to be soon. Can you do that?”
“Yes, yes.” It slipped from my mouth in both a promise and a plea. I was nearly there myself. It’d never been this quick before, the journey to pleasure, to the top of the hill that I was about to tumble over.
Our bodies so in tune, we climbed together, our breaths and pace matching, synchronizing until we were at the top, hand-in-hand. I knew he was with me, as if he’d squeezed my hand at the edge of a cliff, encouraging me to jump alongside him.
We flew over together, catapulting to orgasms that burst like bombs within my body, within Dane’s. The world seemed to detonate along with us. Lightning shot through my nerves, crackling the air around us, illuminating the darkened room. Next came the thunder, vibrating rumbles that groaned along with Dane and me. And finally, the aftershocks. Shudders that had my body trembling long after our release.
Dane held me until the tremors subsided. Loosening his hold, he whispered, “I don’t know how or why, and I’ll no longer question or deny it. You’ve taken me someplace I haven’t been in a long time.”
I understood what he meant, because he’d taken me there too.
A place that felt so good, so right, it could only be described as heaven. And if it were indeed heaven, then he was my salvation.
Nineteen
We lay in a daze, each recovering from a moment of passion that had transported us away from Dane’s tiny lofted studio in downtown Milwaukee. The storm that ravaged our bodies had transcended the walls of the apartment, evident by the steady rainfall pinging against the patio door.
Dane moved behind me and cradled my naked body in his own. His hand roamed along my side, stopping at my hip, just above the spot where a tattoo marked my skin. It reminded me to ask about his.
“I saw yours.” I smiled, thinking of the warrior art on his chest and arm. I didn’t know what they meant, yet they fit him.
“Hmm?” he murmured into my hair. His back was smooshed against the sofa cushions while I was cocooned in his body.
“I saw yours—the shield and the bow and arrow,” I clarified. “Where your fingers are now, that’s my one and only tattoo.”
“Really?” This had him shifting. Try as he may to catch a peek at my hip, two bodies sharing the sofa was too much. My butt began to slide away. Dane pulled me in and upright, so I was sitting on his lap. “Let’s see. A Celtic knot. You’re Irish? Any special meaning?”
“I, um...” I stumbled over my words. Was I Irish? I didn’t recall Aunt Lu mentioning it. But the Celtic knot had meaning. It had to have meaning. Tracing over it with my finger, the ink beneath seemed to tingle. “I don’t know.”
With Dane’s body so near, I could feel his chest expand and retract with each breath. It calmed my racing heart as I desperately searched my muddled memories. It means something. But what?
So deep in thought, I barely comprehended Dane’s words.
“—not that I regret them. Maybe the one on my back—”
“I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “What did you say?”
“Oh.” Dane titled his chin. “The skin art. I got them all a long time ago, each after something that, at the time, seemed very important. Now, well, I guess they’ve become a part of me, of my story. Glad for some of them, except the one back here.” His thumb hitched toward his back.
They’ve become a part of me, of my story. Again, the knot on my hip tingled as if agreeing with Dane’s words. If only my broken mind could pull up these memories faster than the turtle pace it’d begun to operate at after the accident. I’d gotten the Celtic symbol well over a decade ago… a drunken night in college…
I must’ve tuned out again, because I soon found myself being gently lifted and deposited back down while Dane stood. He stretched his arms above his head, then leaned over to snatch his boxer shorts. I got a peek of the aforementioned tattoo that ran across his shoulder blades.
“Why not the one on your back?” I asked, studying the intricate dark lines that swirled from each blade, meeting in the center to create a small lotus flower.
He paused before slowly standin
g upright. Turning to meet my eyes, he explained in a quiet voice, “You’re not the only one orphaned at birth. I was born under… unfavorable circumstances.”
My eyebrows knitted. The sympathy must’ve been evident on my face because Dane lifted his hands and stopped me before I could speak. “My childhood was wonderful. Don’t feel bad. I wasn’t raised in the muck I was born into.”
“So why do you regret getting it?” I asked.
He inhaled through his nose, then slowly released out through his mouth, considering his words. Face tilted, eyes hooded, he spoke in a manner that took him away, as if revisiting a time or place far from here. “Because I haven’t lived up to its symbolic weight.” As soon as the words left his mouth, his demeanor instantly changed, and he returned to carefree Dane. “Let’s eat. I’m starved.”
Tucking away his words, I committed to a web search of the lotus flower later when I was back in my own apartment. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk about it further, and I knew better than anyone that sometimes we needed a break from reliving the pain of the past.
“Want to order pizza?” I asked, glancing toward the patio where a steady stream of rain continued to fall. My attention then shifted to the pile of clothes that had been discarded. Shimmying first into my yoga pants, I then pulled my tee over my head. “Where’s my bra?”
Dane’s eyes twinkled as his lip turned up into a mischievous grin. “What bra?”
After eating pizza, drinking wine, and watching the rain, Dane led me upstairs to his lofted bedroom and onto the mattress that lay pushed against the farthest wall. No box spring, no bedsheets, only an olive-drab sleeping bag spread over a thin mattress. With no other furniture in the room, it pounded home the truth that Dane’s time here was short. He hadn’t bothered with unnecessary things that would only need to be moved again.
Dane’s eyes locked on mine, consuming me as he moved to the space beside me, breaking his stare as his lips covered mine.
