by Gina Sturino
We spent hours discovering one another, connecting in a primal way with our bodies and in a mental way with unspoken words—in a way that transcended lust and desire. I no longer doubted him, who he was, or why he was here. His body spoke silent promises with each soft caress, each tender kiss, each gentle breath, tethering me in trust.
Finally, after our expended bodies collapsed in the wee hours of the night—or early morning—sleep came easily. I didn’t care the next morning when I woke with morning breath. It didn’t matter that my hair was so messy I couldn’t even run my fingers through the tangled curls. The only matter of importance was the man sleeping beside me.
Studying Dane’s face, I noticed the laugh lines around his eyes were smooth in sleep, although I could still see their slight impression. I liked them. They said he smiled a lot. Stubble dotted his jaw, and his black hair fell across his brow. I resisted touching him, although the impulse to brush away the lock had my hands hovering over his cheek before dropping back to my side. His state of sleep allowed me the opportunity to unabashedly watch him. I did just that, taking in and memorizing each feature of his beautiful face.
I could stare at him all day.
Dane shifted in bed, pulling me into him again, and my eyes quickly snapped shut. I attempted to regulate my breathing, pretending to still be asleep. His fingers brushed against my cheek, yet I kept my eyes closed. A test to see what he’d do next. Would he study me? Was he as fascinated by me as I was of him?
“Next time, Nova,” he whispered, and when my eyes popped open, a devious glint lit his face. “Take a picture. It’ll last longer.”
With his last jab, I gave him a push, and in return his large palms reached out to tickle the sensitive skin below my rib cage. I giggled, gasped, and squirmed but was no match against his strength. He pulled me closer, continuing his tickle assault until I played dirty—planting a deep kiss on his lips. His hands went still, then he lifted me up and over him, placing my legs over each side of his torso.
“You are going to be the death of me, woman.” He palmed my cheek. “You hungry? I’m starving.” His eyebrows wiggled.
“Dane! Is that all I am now? Not even going to feed me?”
“Baby, I’ll treat you to steak and lobster, but dinner isn’t for a few more hours, and we have no time to waste. Breakfast in bed?”
No time to waste… My time here is limited… I froze as his words pounded in my head.
“Hey, don’t think about that now.” His teasing grin faded to a half smile. He ran his fingertips up my arms, then to my back where he pulled me into him so I was flat against his chest. His lips brushed against my forehead, and his heart beat steadily beneath my cheek. I relaxed into him. Dane stroked my hair, and then trailed his hands to my bare shoulders where he traced circles over my blades.
“I’ve imagined moments like this, but I sure as hell never thought I’d experience them. It feels… right.” I didn’t move, but my breath hitched at his whispery words. Raw, honest, and real. “I wanted you from the moment I saw you, something fierce, like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I think about you all day, all night. I find myself staring at your wall, wondering if you’re on the other side. Wondering—hoping—you’re thinking about me too. Last night I said I can’t walk away, and I mean it. I’m not giving you up.”
My chin lifted. “You’re leaving. The lease is up in October.”
“Come with me,” he suggested simply.
Before I could read too much into the request, he had me flipped on my back with my arms pinned above my head. His eyes twinkled, obviously pleased by my surprised squeal, keeping me on my toes. His head bobbed down, catching my lips before he sprung away. “Let’s eat.”
Besides coffee and creamer, Dane didn’t have other breakfast foods on hand, so I suggested he come to my apartment. While the contents of my fridge were hardly robust, I knew I had at least a few eggs and a half loaf of bread to make omelets and toast. I left him to brew a pot of coffee, and returned to my apartment to freshen up.
My door clicked behind me, and I beelined up the stairs and into my bathroom. Splashing cold water over my pink cheeks, I couldn’t stop grinning. I’d never cooked with a man before, besides baking cookies with Dane. I’d experienced more “coupley” things with him in the last week than I had with all my previous relationships combined. Other men in my life had been kept at arm’s length. No sharing wine while watching the rain, no cuddling after sex, no cooking breakfast the morning after.
Over the course of the last—I counted quickly in my head—twelve days, Dane had slipped—no, barreled—into my life.
“Come with me.” He’d put the offer out there, and while I didn’t know the where or when, it still was tempting.
The clang of my front door shutting had me spinning. I quickly dried my face, tugged my shirt smooth, and stuck my head out of the bathroom door. “I’ll be down in a minute!”
Dane called back an unintelligible response. I squeezed paste onto my toothbrush, gave my teeth a quick scrub, then pulled my hair into a knot on the top of my head and secured it with a black band. With a final sweep of the tendrils off my neck, I slipped out of the bathroom and down the stairs. Dane dispensed the pot of coffee he’d brought over into two mugs.
“Let me guess, black?” Dane asked over his shoulder.
“You are correct,” I replied, brushing past him to open the refrigerator door. I pulled out the carton of eggs and a bag of shredded cheese. “You too?”
“Nope, lots of cream, lots of sugar. You’ll come to learn, if it’s bad for me, I like it.”
“Interesting. Sounds pretty complex for a self-proclaimed ‘simple man’ though?” I teased, reaching for a mixing bowl. With my back to him, he pivoted and placed his hands on either side of the counter in front of me, boxing me in.
“Simple needs, Nova, not simple tastes.” His voice was thick and husky, his breath hot on my lobe. His nose traced around my ear and up my hairline. “Let’s cook.”
Staying behind me, his right hand reached for an egg, bringing it in front of us to break into the bowl. He cracked a total of six eggs and mixed them with a fork, all while his arms caged me.
Each brush of his arm, each accidental graze of his fingers, each puff of his warm breath against my skin caused my heart to pound faster and my cheeks to burn hotter. Tingles flickered in my belly, and I thought I would combust when I caught a whiff of his scent—a musky combination of soap and coffee. I pushed back with my butt and flipped around to face him. He grinned down at me, looking devilish and pleased with himself. I reached behind to shove the mixing bowl out of the way before hoisting my butt onto the counter. Dane simultaneously moved in as my legs snaked around his waist, pulling him closer.
“Nothing simple about you,” he murmured before claiming my mouth. Placing his hands under my butt, he lifted me from the counter and carried me to the white leather couch, our lips connected the entire route.
After depositing me on a cushion, he lowered himself, and I tugged at his bicep. The edge of his tattoo peeked out. Using one hand to lift his sleeve, I traced along the bottom of the shield with my other.
“Tell me about this one,” I said.
He shifted into a sitting position, placing my legs over his while I leaned my head against the armrest. Baring his arm to me, he looked at the art while solemnly explaining its origin. “I got it before a particularly rough mission. One which came to define me. I failed it on some levels, succeeded on others. Now it’s always with me. Helps me remember, even though I know I’ll never forget. That day sealed my fate, changed the direction I was headed, and led me on a new path.”
“In the Army? Were you in Iraq?” I didn’t know how much he was willing to discuss, or how appropriate it was to probe.
“I’ve seen war. I’ve fought. Sometimes it feels like I’m still there, fighting.” Finally tearing his eyes from the tattoo, he looked at me. “This may sound crazy, but last night… I felt peace. Now,” he stopped, p
lacing his hand over his heart, “I feel it again. With you, I feel like I did before this. Before I saw the ugliness of humanity. I feel like the person I used to be.”
“Well, I like the person you are now,” I said earnestly. I pushed up with my elbows and studied his face, seeing a new depth to Dane. He’d always come across as dark and edgy or silly and sarcastic. Now I saw an innocence and vulnerability.
He kept my gaze and inhaled. My eyes flashed to his chest, watching it deflate as he released a long, calming breath. “Let’s eat, and this time, don’t distract me, woman.”
Playful Dane returned, but I itched to probe the sensitive side he kept tightly guarded.
After our breakfast of cheese omelets and buttered toast, we cleaned the kitchen together in a companionable silence. As Dane placed the last plate into the dishwasher, I wondered what came next. Would we return to the sofa and pick up where we’d left off before we’d gotten sidetracked, or would he bow out and return home? Looking down, my fingers clenched the dish rag. I didn’t want him to leave.
“Do you want to—” I began as Dane simultaneously asked, “What do you have going on—”
“Go ahead.” Dane grinned.
“Want to go for a walk?” I asked, nodding to the patio door which illuminated with the summer sun. “Looks like a nice day. We could walk to the lakefront.”
“Yeah, sure,” he said, swiping his hands against his shorts. “I haven’t been to the lake yet. Then how about tonight we have steak and lobster. I’ll grill.”
“Like you grilled last night?” Now I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.
His eyes dropped to my chest, then flickered back up. “You’re absolutely right. If I get you back over to my place anytime soon, I’ll be skipping the grill and going right for dessert.” My cheeks flushed, and his grin widened. “I want to take you out, show you off, and then deliver you home with a kiss at the door. A proper date. Let’s get dressed up and have a night out on the town. What’s the best steak joint around here?”
“I’d have to check online,” I stuttered. My heart thumped wildly from his words. He wanted more than the physical; he wanted to show me off. A proper date. “I’m going to change before, um, we go.”
“Right, our walk.” Dane moved next to me. His arm circled my waist as his chin lowered. “I’m going to take a quick shower. I’ll be back in a few.” He leaned in and brushed his nose against my forehead. “I mean it, Nova. I’m not walking away.”
His hands dropped, and he silently stepped out of my apartment.
I hurried upstairs to grab a quick shower. Stepping under a cool stream, I rubbed soap over my body. My fingers pressed into my ribs. With all the activity of the last few days, I hadn’t felt a single twinge or jolt. I tapped against them, testing for pain. Nothing. With a shrug, I turned off the water and stepped out. I towel dried my hair, then slid into fresh yoga capris and a clean tank top.
Before heading downstairs, I grabbed my cell to recharge. Alerts for a few missed calls and a text from Pete flashed on the screen. A small pang of guilt hit me as I plugged the phone in. I hadn’t really given Pete a proper chance.
Who could when a man like Dane comes careening into your life?
Dane had changed into athletic shorts and a tight grey shirt. The thin material stretched across his chest like a second skin. He was tall and broad, and next to him I felt small but safe. Linking arms with me, he led me to the elevator.
“Where to?” he asked as we pushed through the front door.
“Let’s head to the lakefront path. There’s an ice cream stand and a coffee shop near Bradford Beach.”
“Can’t remember the last time I had ice cream,” Dane said. I could believe it; his stomach was flat and well defined.
A breathtaking specimen of a man. Like a mythological Greek God, Dane was almost too perfect to be real.
We bypassed the park across from our building and turned onto Ogden Street, passing row after row of condominiums and apartment buildings. A whiff of dryer sheets wafted from a building’s vent. Fresh linens used to be my favorite aroma, now replaced by Dane’s distinct scent—the mingle of his cologne and unique male pheromones.
Dane grasped my hand and laced our fingers together. “Lead the way, milady.”
My body hummed, his touch like a drug I was quickly becoming addicted to. I led him down Ogden, which ended at a T intersection. We crossed the street and stopped at the top of the steep staircase that led to the walking trail.
“Want to race?” Dane challenged as we stared down the stairs. Without answering, I dropped his hand and pushed past him, skipping down the stairs to get the head start I knew I’d need if I had any chance of winning. By the time I hit the bottom step, Dane had not only caught up, but was in front of me, waiting to pick me up and pull me into his arms. Sweat had formed between my shoulder blades, and his nearness only caused my skin to flame hotter.
“Cheaters never win,” he scolded with a smile as he set me back on my feet.
I tried to catch my breath before speaking. There I was, glistening with sweat and panting while he looked fresh as a daisy. “I was leveling the playing field. Unfair advantage—you have like a foot on me.”
“Well, as they say, life isn’t always fair, is it?” His playful tone turned solemn, not a bitterness but a sadness, as if he’d been given an unfair advantage at another point in time. Although he always seemed so self-assured, in control, I realized vulnerability lay beneath that tough exterior. He knew so much about me, yet he kept much of his past hidden.
We walked in silence until I broke it by asking, “Where’d you grow up? Tell me about your childhood.”
“I was raised by an uncle, but unlike your Aunt Lu, he was my biological uncle, a brother of my mother. A solid man. Took me fishing, hunting. Taught me to be a man. He did it on his own too. No help from family. He was the only one willing to step in, step up, and raise me. For a long time, I wanted to know them, the people whose blood I shared. But I quickly found that they didn’t want to know me, the bastard child. The auntie I spoke of before—Josefina wasn’t my real aunt, but she took on that role. Besides the two of them, no one gave a shit. Never called him uncle, though, he was always Jake.”
“I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be. Like I said, I had a great childhood. Every boy’s dream. Camping, hunting. Jake was an outdoorsman, taught me survival skills that today’s youth are severely lacking.”
“Did he encourage you to join the military?”
“Yeah, I guess, but it wasn’t really encouragement, it just was. It was my calling.”
“Wow.” I thought back to Aunt Lu, and why I became a lawyer. To fight for justice, to fight for…
You have always been logical… it is why you became a lawyer… but you are neither judge nor jury… you revere faulty courts of law dictating good and bad, guilt and innocence… sin and temptation are a part of humanity… as I have always said, you will be tempted, Novalee, but profit and gain aren’t worth the forfeit of the soul.
“Whoa, where’d you go there?” Dane asked.
I realized I’d not only stopped walking, but had closed my eyes. And for a long second, Aunt Lu’s face lit in my memory like a flash bulb.
It can’t be.
But with one hundred percent certainty, I recognized her. The same cobalt-blue eyes, the same strawberry-blond hair, the same sad smile. A picture-perfect memory of Lucille—Aunt Lu—an identical image of the woman from my muddled rendition of the accident. The young lady whose eyes had locked on mine just seconds before impact. Watching, waiting, standing by the telephone pole as if she’d known the course I’d travel, where my car would land.
Dane must’ve noted the color draining from my face because his hand was instantly under my elbow, steadying me as I swayed into him. Allowing a few minutes to regain my bearings, he remained quiet until I pulled away. Then his worried eyes searched my face before he asked, “You okay? Need some water?”
The sun b
linded, heat emanated from the concrete path, and I did feel lightheaded, a touch dehydrated. I gave a nod, and he led me further up the trail to the coffee shop. Depositing me at a table, Dane got in line which gave me a minute to recollect the memories that had raked my nerves.
Was she a vision? A mirage? Had my mind created a memory of Aunt Lu to help me through the trauma of the car accident? But the woman by the pole was young enough to be my sister, not the old lady I’d buried when I was barely nineteen.
Dane returned with two water bottles and two scones.
“Maybe you need a little sugar?” He slid the plate over, and then unscrewed the top of the bottle. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I hesitated, blinking as I focused in on the water bottle. “I just remembered something Aunt Lu used to say. Kind of the reason I went into law. My head’s been so fuzzy since the accident, but it came to me, like she was speaking right between my ears.”
“What was it?” he asked, his blue eyes bright with curiosity. He made me feel like everything I said or did was important. “By the way, that one is blueberry, the other is cinnamon chip.”
Picking at the one closest to me, I absently pinched off a bit and rolled it between my fingers as I tried to recall the words. “Lucille used to talk about temptation ruining the soul.”
“Nova?” he asked again, his head cocking with thought. “Is Lu short for Lucille? You’ve never called her that before. Guess I figured her name was Louise.”
“Lu? Yes, it’s short for Lucille.” My voice held a mixture of question and revelation. I closed my eyes again, conjuring the image of Lucille. The woman in my memory—the woman I saw standing by the telephone pole—with the same cobalt blue eyes and the same soft smile. Young versus old, yet one and the same.
“Dane? Do you believe in ghosts?” I whispered. “Because I’m sure she was with me during the accident.”
Twenty
