The Trade

by Elizabeth Knox

  I pull her down to my chest so that she is right up against me, transferring her body heat as I begin to thrust my hips up with her, making it more intense. Natasha moans into my neck and then licks it slowly with her tongue before coming up to lick my lips. It is so fucking hot, I swear I am going to explode right here and now.

  I moan into her as I thrust quickly, feeling myself so close as her pussy squeezes around me. “Fuck,” I breathe as she moans out my name, sitting back up to pop her hips into me a few more times as she quivers around me and causes me to release inside of her. I can’t say for certain what the far future holds for us, but I hope I get the option to do this every night for the rest of my fucking life. If so, I will be a happy man. I will worship the fucking ground she walks on if she decides to let me make her mine forever.

  Chapter 17

  The best things in life, happen unexpectedly. - Shawna Fisher

  Natasha

  Anton is out of town on business again, and I am taking the time to take care of myself. That includes a much-needed trip to the OB/GYN. Let’s be honest, this is like the worst time of year when I have to go and get myself checked, but it is a necessity. I realize the importance of caring for my body, and luckily, so did Anton when I told him I had to make an appointment. He didn't protest about me going alone or letting me use the car, though, of course, a couple of goons had to ride shotgun to make sure I was safe and all that. Between being known as Clan Balan’s whore, and I am my father’s daughter, part of me doubts I could ever be in danger again, but I need to pick my battles with Anton. It’s really not a big deal as long as they do not insist on going back into the office with me.

  When we pull up to the building it looks huge, it’s apparently inside of a hospital, so there are floors going for several feet into the sky. It creeps me out a little. I am just one of those people who feels weirded out by hospitals, but when I walk through the doors and hear music and see what it looks like, it doesn't feel like that at all. In fact, it feels more like a nice hotel. Miami just keeps getting better and better.

  I read the sign that tells me which level the OB/GYN office I am looking for is on and see that it’s on the fourth, so I wait for the elevator to take me up and let me off along with a blonde nurse whose nose is in her phone.

  I follow the signs to room 408, where the name on the door lets me know I have reached my destination. I am glad to see at this time of day, early in the afternoon on a weekday, I am one of only two women in the waiting room. The thing I hate the most about going to see a doctor is the fact that sometimes I have to wait for so long with nothing to do. Sure, I have my phone, but I am not really a game person. Though, I do like to read on occasion.

  I don't wait long, and I end up being called back by a sweet looking woman with a bun piled at the top of her head. She had a bright smile and it about a head shorter than me. “Right this way,” she tells me, and I can hear the trace of Hispanic heritage in her accent like many people here in Miami. She points to the scale, and I get on, ignoring whatever number pops up. I know better. See, I like my fucking curves, and no number is going to rule my life. So, I just leave that to the doctor to worry about.

  Next, she leads me to the next stop of my trip around the office, straight to the bathroom. “I am sure you already know the run down, but I have to give it to you,” she says with a little laugh. She’s right. I have been hearing this one since I was 16. “Please, use two alcohol swabs to clean the area and then use one of the cups to collect a sample for us. When you are done with it, there is a small metal door you can place it in after writing your name on the label in sharpie. Then, you may flush, wash your hands, and meet me right back out here.” I nod, and the nurse smiles through the awkward moment. I could never be a fucking doctor just for all the awkwardness, and then add in people getting sick and dying and I really couldn't do it. I see enough pain and death in my world but to add other people’s problems to it? Nope. I certainly commend those who perform this service.

  I follow her instructions as second nature, knowing this is just necessary. It tells them a lot about my health, though I have luckily never had anything come up. I wash my hands thoroughly when I am done and come out to meet the nurse who still has that smile on her face. Is she that happy, or just really good at faking it?

  I follow her to the room right across from the bathroom and have a seat on the exam bed just like I am a little kid. My feet still don't quite reach the floor even at my age. “I am just going to go over some history questions with you since we don't have any medical information on you. I know it can be hard to know some of them, but just answer what you do know.”

  I nod and go into a mind-numbing state of boredom as we talk about every medical problem myself or my family ever has including the fact that my mother is dead, that she killed herself when I was a toddler. I used to feel a little guilty about that, somehow, I have always felt like I was the reason she killed herself.

  Finally, we move on to the next part, getting my blood taken, and I am a good patient as I sit perfectly still and don't look over at the blood they are taking from my arm. I just let them do their job with minimal interference because I know this will get me out of here faster and back home… home did I just say that?

  “Okay, hun, that's my cue. The doctor will be here any minute to talk about all the results we find and your general health. You can also ask her about birth control if you need it.” I nod and smile as if she is being helpful because she believes she is. I am sure there are other women she does help every day, so I say nothing but exude gratitude before being left alone in the room to wait it all out.

  I start humming to myself, a Halsey song that reminds me of my life a little bit, when the doctor knocks on the door before coming in. She is wearing that signature white coat and only a half-smile as she comes up to me to shake my hand. “Hi, I am Doctor Vellis, it is nice to meet you.”

  I shake her hand lightly and nod. “Yes, nice to meet you too.”

  “So, everything in your history looks pretty good, no uterine or ovarian cancer in your family and no history of abnormal pap smears. You have been on some type of birth control for many years which is also a way to reduce your risk. I commend you for taking good care of yourself as well. All of your vitals and blood work were perfect. I do have a bit of news for you, though,” the doctor says, looking more serious as she looks down at her chart.

  I look at her and wait for the information, feeling a little lost as to what it could be when she was just praising me for my sexual health. What she says does not even cross my mind at all as a possibility.

  “I tested your urine and it is showing positive for pregnancy. Did you know you were pregnant?” the doctor asks, and my mouth goes instantly dry. I shake my head because it is all I can do while I process this information. I am in complete shock. I know it is almost time, like a few months away, from removing the implant in my arm but I expected it to work. This is not what I was coming to this appointment for at all. It looks like getting that removed is going to be happening now.

  “That’s alright. These things are mostly a surprise these days. I would like to bring the ultrasound machine in here and just check to confirm and then see how far along you are, if you don't mind?” Doctor Vellis continues.

  “That’s fine,” I say, finding my voice once again, though it doesn't even sound like me. I am not taking this well. Like, I know this is not the end of the world or the worst thing that can happen to me, but I am just in shock. I can’t think.

  The machine comes in by way of the nurse, smaller than I expected it to be with a little screen on the side of it so I can see if I want. I let them lay me back in the seat and pull my shirt up so they can put that wand down with the blue goo on the end of it. It is cold when it first hits me, and I suck in a breath. It starts warming to my body a bit as she glides it along my lower abdomen. The lights dim, the nurse lowering the brightness in the room, and I am suddenly bombarded with a sound, foreign yet complete
ly familiar. It is a heartbeat, but it doesn't belong to me.

  I turn my head to look at the screen, and I am greeted with movement by a small fuzzy picture on the screen. It takes me a moment to register that this is a baby. Not that it looks exactly like one yet, but it is clearly a life form, and it is bouncing around in there like it is at a carnival. I just can’t believe it, and suddenly, I have about a million questions.

  I look to the doctor, and she smiles as she takes the wand away and types a few things before cleaning me up and pulling my shirt back down. I am allowed to sit up as I sort out all the things I want to know in my brain. I prioritize them and make sense of them, pulling the questions out of my mouth. “How long until I know if it is a boy or a girl? How do I keep it safe and healthy? What do I need to stop or start doing?” I have never read that book, the one that tells you all these things, and I have never had my mother around to really tell me about this part of being a woman. I am scared shitless.

  “Just take a deep breath, Natasha,” the doctor says calmly, and I do. I know I need to before I am in a full-on panic attack. “Most first-time mothers have a lot of worries and a lot of questions. We have some brochures here to read that you can go home with. What I can tell you right now is you are at about 5 weeks. For that, the baby is measuring perfectly and is very active as he or she should be. It will be a several weeks before you can know the sex of the baby. As far as anything else, we will give you some prenatal vitamins today to take home. Take them every day. Don’t get in a hot tub, and don’t eat raw foods. Don’t do anything with a danger of being hit in the abdomen. That's it. Our bodies are not as fragile as we think sometimes,” she says warmly.

  I nod, feeling overwhelmed by all the information I just received in really only a few minutes time. I stay silent as I am handed brochures, a bottle of pills to take, and an appointment to come back for another ultrasound in 15 weeks after my implant is removed.

  I stuff it all in my purse for now as I run to the bathroom on the way out. I need to get myself together because I can’t go out there acting like anything is wrong. The goons don't need to know I am pregnant with Anton’s child any more than Anton needs to know right now.

  I take a deep breath and splash my face with cold water before dabbing it dry with the brown paper towels they have hanging here. I know I need to get out there, but my brain is so jumbled right now, I don’t know what to do. I honestly don’t know how I feel about this whole being pregnant thing. I am still mad at Anton for all the things he has done, even if we did have sex again. It doesn't just wipe away all the wrongdoing. We still have a long way to go. This is why I can’t tell him yet because I need to know how I truly feel beyond stunned, before I let him in on this fun development.

  I leave the office and walk out to the car, letting one of the goons help me in before he gets in the front again. The goons say nothing as they drive me back, and nothing feels out of the ordinary. They must still think it was a routine appointment, nothing is wrong. Now, I just have to make sure I don’t act differently around Anton so this stays a secret until I am ready. It might be hard with the way he seems to read my fucking mind sometimes, but I don’t have a choice. This is my body and my burden. I have to be okay with it. I have to know what I want first.

  I lay my head against the cool glass of the window as I process the news. This is not exactly the ideal time to be pregnant, but in reality, is there ever an ideal time? Even those trying often find that they get pregnant too soon or later than they expected. The universe is fickle that way and no one gets what they want when they want it.

  Things are as good as they can be between Anton and I right now, after everything we have been through. I am honestly surprised that we are not still at each other’s throats. When I think of the idea of being pissed at him forever or allowing him into my life, the answer is clearer than it was before. He belongs in my life, especially now. I need to just let it happen and not fight every moment.

  I would rather have him as a part of this once I decide I am alright to share it. It is early, after all.

  My phone buzzes, and I pull it out of my purse just as we pull back up to the house. I look down at the message I have received and smile because it is the first shred of normalcy I have felt in a while.

  So, I just couldn’t keep the surprise from you. Your alpha male is flying me out to see you eek! But don't tell him I told you.

  I am practically crying at the idea of my best friend, Bethany, coming to visit me here in Miami. I miss her so much. I miss that life so much, and I hope Anton starts giving me some of it back. It looks like he is trying to.

  See you soon then, biatch!

  I laugh as I type it, walking into the house and feeling a little hungry. I think it must be time for lunch. I am eating for two now and need to keep on top of those things. I sigh as I go to my room first and place my purse in the closet and hope no one decides to snoop there. Otherwise, my secret will be out before I get the chance to say a word.

  Chapter 18

  Find your tribe. Love them hard. - DanielleLaporte.com

  Natasha

  I jump up at the sound of the doorbell. To save the surprise a bit, Bethany refused to tell me when she would arrive, even what day she was coming. She kept telling me soon and left it at that. But that has to be her. “I wonder who that could be,” Anton says, going to open the door himself as if it is a normal thing, as if I wouldn't be suspicious if I didn't know Bethany was coming to visit.

  “Tasha?” I hear her say my name, and I jump up and run to her. Screw surprise or not, I am running to my best friend. She may not realize what I have been through, but I have felt like a prisoner until right now, until I knew I was allowed to see her and be with her. I catch a smug look on Anton’s face as I pull her into a tight hug, and she squeals happily.

  “Oh, em gee, it has been too long!” she says as she pulls away to look at me as if I might be different somehow. That’s right, I am, and sure enough, she finds that spot on my cheek, the one that is healing much too slow for my taste. Her eyes flash. She knows who gave me the first one.

  “Yeah, I had a run-in with an old acquaintance,” I say, rolling my eyes. I didn't even want to say his name and give him any more power in my life than he has already had.

  “Rusev,” she says for me. “And what did you do about this?” she nods towards Anton who is just an observer right now. I turn to him to see if he is going to tell the story or if I need to. Honestly, I should know better. Bethany refers to him as an alpha male for a reason. He would never miss a chance to flaunt the way he protects me, to the point of shooting Rusev’s fucking kneecaps out. I laugh at the memory and am so glad I can do that rather than cry.

  “He is taken care of,” Anton says mysteriously. “I do not want to disturb you with the gory details, but he is aware now that he cannot touch her.” Anton approaches and wraps his arms around me for a moment, and this feels odd with Bethany right here. Will she notice the possessiveness and ask?

  “Well, I am only sorry I wasn't there to see you put him in his place,” Bethany says, pulling me away from Anton. “Now, if you don't mind, I would like to borrow my best friend here for a day of fun.”

  Anton leans into me and plants a kiss on the back of my head before waving goodbye to us as I am practically dragged out of there and into a car that has been provided to us. “Spill!” Beth says as soon as we are away from everyone but the goon that is driving us around. “You have been gone from Seattle far too long for there to be nothing going on here. Like, have you officially moved in, are you engaged, or what?” she asks me in a hushed tone.

  I shake my head and laugh. “I don't know what to tell you, Beth. There is nothing to say right now.” Ha! What a fucking joke that is. There is plenty, I just don't think I need to drag her into it, not yet. When there is a ring on my finger, I will tell her.

  “Okay, keep your secrets. I will get them out of you before I leave, trust me,” she tells me, and I laugh, genuinely la
ugh, forgetting all about my most recent problem.

  “So, what are the plans for today?” I ask her.

  “Oh, the usual, I have the whole day planned, and we are going to come back and pass out in a bubble bath afterward,” she tells me as we pull up to what I am guessing is out first destination. “And don't worry, I made sure to pack you some necessary wardrobe changes in the trunk,” she adds. “Courtesy of Anton, of course.” She winks at me when she says it, and I roll my eyes playfully.

  We are at a restaurant, one of the trendy cafes here, and we walk in like two hot bitches, and I suddenly feel more like myself than I have in ages. I am really going to have to thank the both of them for this later and demand that this happens more often. I need Beth in my life, I really do.

  We have a nice long meal, and she tells me about all the things I am missing in Seattle, all the latest gossip and everything that she has been doing since I left.

  After we are done eating, Beth leads us out to the car, popping the trunk to grab an item from one of the bags. She pulls out this teeny little bikini, which covers almost nothing. I know if Anton was with us he would throw a fit about it. He wouldn’t want his fiancé flaunting all of her assets to every man on the beach. But he's not here this is just a fun time with my best friend, which I fully plan of taking advantage.

  When we make it to the beach, the sun is high above and very hot. It is a perfect day for the beach. We decide to wade into the water letting our toes sink into the sand as little creatures scuttle across them. It feels so natural with Bethany as if we have not been apart for so long. I almost want to tell her everything just let go of all this weight I'm holding on my shoulders about everything that's happened since I left Seattle. The problem is my life. I am a Kolosov and my life is never going to be safe with or without Anton.