by Laura Pavlov
He gripped the back of his neck. “I sold the watch and paid them off. As long as your dad stays away from this shit, I think they’ll leave him be. I told you there was a few thousand dollars left over which I have in a safety deposit box at the bank. I don’t want to give it to him right now.”
“I agree. Thanks for taking care of that shit for him. It gets exhausting, right?”
“Listen, I know it’s tough for you to watch him go down this path. But we’re all he has left, Gray. If we throw in the towel, I’m afraid that’ll be the end of him.”
I nodded. Wren was the brother my father never had. “Thank you for always sticking by him.”
“Always will. He’s my best friend. Even if he’s an idiot sometimes. He’s got his demons, but there’s a good man underneath all that,” he said.
“Do you think this time it’ll work? If he sticks with the program?”
“I think it’s his only shot. He may slip again, but as long as he keeps fighting, there’s always hope.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. It was never easy with my dad. I’d wondered a million times what it would have been like if he was the father he should have been. Could have been. If pills hadn’t taken over his life. If he was there to support me and hadn’t left me to be reliant on a man who hated me.
“Yeah. I hope you’re right.”
“So, you still hanging out with Gigi Jacobs? How’s that going to sit with her brother?” He had a smirk on his face as he studied me.
“We’re friends.”
He barked out a laugh. “Friends, my ass. I saw the way she looks at you. Don’t run from everything good just because your dad has got some issues. That doesn’t define you, Gray.”
“Some issues? That’s a bit of an understatement. Fuck. I can’t believe I brought her into that shit. I’ve been trying to put some distance there for her own good,” I said, shaking my head.
“Everyone’s got their shit, Gray. It doesn’t make you a bad kid because your dad’s an addict. It makes you honorable that you keep showing up for him. And Gigi sure didn’t seem to mind being there at all. It’s good to have people like that in your corner. Although I’m sure you’re going to take some shit from Cade if you go there.” He chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest.
I nodded. “That’s for sure. And I think Simon would argue with you about me paying for my father’s sins.”
“Simon is an asshole. Always has been. I’m glad he’s good to your mom and your sisters, but he’s always been a judgmental prick.”
“I can’t argue that. All right. I’m going to head over to my mom’s. What about you? Did you have turkey yet?” I asked, pushing to my feet.
He nodded. “Yeah. Mae Stone invited me over to have Thanksgiving with her, Jett, and her mom.”
“Glad you went there and had dinner. Jett kicked ass this season. The dude is such a badass.”
“Yeah. He’s a good kid.” Wren’s chest puffed up and I chuckled. He was a man of few words, but I could see that he had a weak spot. I just hadn’t known it was Mae and Jett Stone.
I clapped him on the back. “Thanks for everything. Happy Thanksgiving.”
“You too, son. Hang in there. Don’t let that prick Simon give you shit.”
He patted me on the shoulder before I made my way down to my truck.
When I arrived at my mom’s house, the Sheldons, who lived across the street, were over as well. My mom hugged me tight. “So glad you came. Thank you.”
“Of course. Where are the chicken nuggets?” I asked, because they were truly the only reason I’d made the effort to be here.
“Gray,” a little voice shrieked, and they both ran toward me.
I caught them in my arms, and they tugged me into the living room to greet everyone.
Louise and Paul Sheldon and their two little girls Rosie and Mabel were close family friends and they’d always been nice enough.
The girls ran off to play, and my mom encouraged me to sit on the couch and join them.
“There he is. Our future lawyer,” Simon said, and his cheeks were bright red, which meant he’d been drinking.
Fuck.
Simon was not a friendly drunk. He’d pick a fight with me for sure.
I prepared myself for what I was certain was coming.
He handed me a glass of scotch. His drink of choice. I hadn’t told him that I hadn’t had a drink in a few months. I didn’t like to allow him to know much about what was going on with me. He’d use it against me if he could. I set the glass down on the coffee table in front of me.
“You still want to be a lawyer?” Louise asked, and her warm eyes made it clear that she was genuinely interested.
“Yep. That’s the plan.”
“Well, pending he doesn’t fuck it all up like his old man.” Simon dropped to sit in the chair across from me and his icy stare let me know he was just getting started.
Why the fuck did I come here again?
Oh, yeah. I was trying to be the bigger person.
“Simon,” my mother said in her calmest voice. Why didn’t she ever get mad? Why not call him out for being an asshole when she knew he was?
“What? I’m not saying anything he doesn’t know. Hell, I’m funding this project. The Gray Project. Giving him the opportunity to make something of his life.”
I saluted him. “Thanks for that.”
He didn’t miss the sarcasm, but the Sheldons appeared to, or they were just too many cocktails deep to pick up on the tension.
My sisters yelled for my mom, and she and Louise both left the room to go find the kids. Great. Alone with Simon the asshole, and a drunk Paul who was studying Simon’s books that lined the shelves in this grand room and paying us no attention.
“The day you stop believing in your old man is the day I’ll believe you might actually pull this off. I mean, how many times does he need to fail for you to realize he isn’t coming back?” Simon sipped his drink and leaned back in the leather chair.
“I’ll let you know when I get there.”
“You do know that he left you and your mother with nothing when he derailed his life. Did you know that your mom couldn’t pay the bills when I met her? You didn’t have electricity or power. That piece of shit walked out on his wife and kid.” He was spewing ugliness like he’d been holding onto this for so long and he needed to let it out. I’d heard a lot of things about my dad from Simon, but this was new.
“I don’t know all the details. I just know that we were on our own for a while before she met you. And you saved the day.” I raised a brow. There’s your bone, asshole. Now step the fuck off.
“You’re fucking right I saved the day. Your mother found that son of a bitch getting his dick sucked by some whore. That’s right. That’s the man you’re protecting.”
I leaned forward and reached for the glass, tipping my head back and letting the cool liquid travel down the back of my throat. I couldn’t listen to much more of this, but I knew he wasn’t going to let up any time soon. I’d been sober for a fair amount of time, and I was ready to jump back in the numbing game. Hell, I was tired of feeling so many things.
“Thanks for the visual. You love telling me what a failure he is, don’t you?” I hissed, moving to my feet and pouring a double for myself.
“Is that what you think? That I enjoy hurting you?” he asked.
I barked out a laugh before taking a long pull and letting the alcohol numb all the raw edges that were currently exposed.
“Yeah. I think you enjoy it.”
He nodded and I filled my glass again and returned to my seat. The alcohol was already taking over as my threshold for booze was definitely not what it once was. I was warm and relaxed when I settled back down and faced him. Paul had disappeared from the room. I didn’t know where he’d gone or when he left but I knew that S
imon was just getting started.
“You’re wrong, Gray. I want better for you. I see your potential. But you continue to worship that sick fuck. Do you know that he never paid a dime of child support? He wanted nothing to do with you or your mother once he started using. Yet you continue to stand beside him.”
“He’s a goddamn addict. It’s a disease.”
“He’s a selfish piece of shit. And you are at a fork in the road. Cut his ass off and take the smart path. That’s when you’ll earn my respect,” he said, lips pursed and face hard.
“I won’t hold my breath.” I slammed the drink and moved to the bar for a healthy refill.
Simon was behind me now. “Do you know why I pay for your college and hand you a credit card with no limit, allowing you to get whatever you could want for?”
I slammed my drink and turned around to face him. “I actually don’t know. To keep my mother happy is my best guess. Or to wave some bullshit power over my head.”
“Wrong. When I met your mother, you were just a little kid. And I saw how smart you were. My father was a drunk, Gray. And everything I have is because I went out and earned it. I didn’t look back or live in the past. I want that for you. And I have the resources to do it.”
“You have a funny way of showing it,” I said, stepping around him and leaving the room.
I stumbled to the bathroom and locked myself inside. Fuck. I was wasted. But his words were spinning in my head. I dialed Cade’s number.
“Come meet us at the bonfire,” he said, and his words slurred.
“You’re out? Fuck. I need a ride. I have to get out of here and I’m too fucking drunk so I can’t drive.”
Ubers weren’t big in Willow Springs, and the last thing I wanted was some nosy ass local in my business anyway.
“I’m texting Gigi as we speak. She’s at home. Okay. She’s on her way to get you,” he said. “I’m sorry, brother. Don’t let that dickhead get you down.”
“All right. I’ll see you later,” I said, ending the call.
I made my way out of the bathroom and toward the front door.
“Gray.” My mother’s voice was calm, as always.
Did the woman ever get pissed?
“I’m leaving. Thanks for,” I paused and threw my hands in the air, “the enlightening conversation about what a deadbeat my father is.”
My mom rushed toward me and reached for my hands. “I’m sorry, son. He shouldn’t talk about your dad that way.”
“Why don’t you ever stick up for me? You’re my fucking mother. How have you allowed this to go on for so long? Dad may be a pill-popping junkie, but at least he has a valid excuse for why he’s a shit parent. What’s yours?”
I’d never spoken to my mother like this before. I didn’t know why I was now. Maybe being sober these past few months had made me question things for the first time in my life.
“I-I-I’m sorry.” Her words broke on a sob and I walked out the door, leaving her standing there. Headlights came down the driveway.
Gigi.
I opened the passenger door and climbed inside.
She studied me for a minute and then leaned over me and pulled my seat belt across my body and clamped it at my side. The car smelled like peaches and I closed my eyes and breathed her in.
“Are you okay?” she whispered as she backed out of the driveway.
“I’m fine.” I scrubbed a hand down my face before leaning forward and punching her dashboard. I thought of the words Simon had said. The words I’d said to my mother. The way she looked at me when I’d said them.
Gigi pulled the car into the parking lot of a park up the street. She unbuckled and climbed over the seat and settled on my lap. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.
And I fucking lost it.
I cried for the first time ever. I wasn’t one who believed in breaking down. It was for the weak. But at the moment—that’s exactly how I felt.
Weak.
Broken.
Sobs left my body and I hugged her even tighter.
“Fuck,” I said when I finally pulled my shit together. “I’m sorry about that.”
She put a hand on my cheek and studied me. “You don’t have to be sorry. What happened?”
“Just another life lesson from Simon about what a shitty father my dad was and is. How he never wanted me or my mom, and we weren’t worth fighting for.”
“That’s not true, Gray. You know that’s not true. He’s an addict. He’s not using rational judgment,” she said, and her sapphire blues locked with mine.
So fucking pretty.
So fucking perfect.
So fucking good.
“I know. I actually think this is his way of showing he cares, but he has a shitty way of doing it. He’s worried about me. Of me turning out like my father,” I said, tucking the hair behind her ear. Her nearness settled me.
“You have all the good qualities of your father, but you aren’t your father, Gray. You’ve never done drugs and you’ve made it clear you never will. And you weren’t drinking for the past few months, well, until tonight?” She smiled and raised a brow.
“I couldn’t take listening to him anymore. I fucked up. I drank. I told my mother off.” I shook my head and groaned.
“What did you say to your mom?”
“I asked her why she’s never stood up for me. I think I told her she was a shitty parent like my dad but at least he had a good excuse.” I flinched because I couldn’t believe I’d said those words to my mother. She was doing the best she could.
“I think it’s good you said it. I think it’s a fair question. She’s your mom. She should stand up for you.”
“Why are you being nice to me? You hate me, remember?” I couldn’t stop my hand from stroking her face.
“I don’t hate you, Gray. You just hurt me, and I was angry.”
Her mouth was so close to mine, and my dick was hard as a rock. “I’m sorry for hurting you.”
She nodded. “So, why’d you do it?”
I was three sheets to crazy town, and I’d already said more than I should to my mother, so what the hell. “I freaked out when we got home. Thinking about the fact that I brought you around two deadbeats that are involved in God knows what. My father dangled a gun around and you were there. Fuck, Gigi. Your family would be so fucking mad at me.”
Her gaze narrowed. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“Because you’re a stubborn ass and you wouldn’t have listened.”
She raised a brow. “Fair enough. What else? I can see those wheels spinning,” she said.
I shook my head. “I’m fucked up, G. I have a fucked up family. Who knows who my father is messed up with? And I’m in a whole lot of trouble with you and I don’t know what to do about it. It scares the shit out of me.”
“What kind of trouble?” Her lips grazed mine as she spoke, and her fingers were tangled in my hair.
When did that happen?
“I’m in fucking love with my best friend’s little sister, and she’s too good for me.” There. I said it. It was the truth. I was tired of keeping it in.
“I love you, too,” she whispered, eyes full of emotion. Her lips were on mine and my hands wrapped around her tighter, because I couldn’t get close enough.
“I missed you so fucking much,” I said against her mouth before my tongue dipped in for a taste.
She was grinding up against me and it was the first time I’d felt good in two weeks.
Because Gigi Jacobs had a way of making everything better.
Chapter Nineteen
Gigi
The weekend home had been an emotional roller coaster. Gray and I had found our way back to one another, but we’d had to keep our distance while we were home. But since we’d returned to school, we’d been inseparable. Ad
dy, Jett, and Leo were the only people at school who knew that we were together, and of course, Coco, Maura, and Ivy all knew what was going on as well.
We weren’t ready to tell my brother, because we didn’t want to add that pressure. This was new. Gray was dealing with a lot of stuff with his father, and he still struggled with feelings that he wasn’t good enough for me. That killed me in a million ways, and I was determined to prove him wrong.
I loved him. And that’s really all that mattered to me.
We were going to this dance tonight together per my brother’s insistence, which was comical considering there was so much more going on than Cade knew. My parents had also given the thumbs-up to the idea, which made it all too easy. I was a little nervous about how Tiffany would respond. She thought Gray and I were just friends. I’d avoided her question when she’d asked me at our Monday night dinner dozens of times who I was going with tonight. Gray said she’d called and asked him to go with her, but he’d told her he already had plans for the night and hadn’t said anything because it wasn’t her business. He said he didn’t care what she thought.
I’d spent every night this past week at the fraternity house with Gray, as he had the bigger bed and his own bathroom, but so far, we’d been able to keep a fairly low profile. Tonight, we would be out in public, and I was anxious about it. I didn’t like keeping secrets. But I also wasn’t ready to start a full-on shit show with my overbearing brother.
We weren’t there yet.
I slipped into my navy blue dress that hugged my body like a second skin. I’d curled my hair and then pulled it back in a long ponytail. Addy and I both looked in the full-length mirror at the same time and smiled.
“You look gorgeous,” she said.
“Thank you! So, do you. Jett’s going to lose his mind.”
There was a knock on the door, and I didn’t miss the disappointment in Addy’s eyes when Bailey walked in. Being in the same sorority meant she would be going to the dance as well, so there was no escaping her. “Hey, hey. Haven’t seen you two around since Thanksgiving break. Just making sure you’re both going tonight. It’s going to be so lit. I plan on getting totally wasted.”
