by Laura Pavlov
“Of course, Son. I’m sorry about this.”
My father hurried me into the house, and Gray disappeared into the darkness.
And he took a piece of my broken heart with him.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Gray
I walked into my mom’s house after trying to clean up my face in the car, but I didn’t have much luck. I tried to sneak in through the kitchen, but Simon was there, and Mariana was handing him a cocktail. My mother stood behind him and gasped when she saw me.
“Oh my gosh, Gray. What happened?” Mom hurried over to me, and Mariana rushed out of the room and I imagined she was grabbing a towel.
“I’m fine. It’s not a big deal.” My face stung, as Cade had gotten in several good shots. I didn’t hit him back. He needed to get this out and I deserved what he served up.
The truth was, there was never going to be a good time to tell Cade about Gigi and me. If I’d told him in the beginning before anything even happened, he would have reacted the same fucking way. My best friend was a stubborn ass and he always had been. The bottom line was that Cade didn’t think I was good enough for his sister. And he was probably right. But it wasn’t going to stop me from trying, even at the cost of losing my friendship with him. That’s why I finally realized I had to tell him, because regardless of the outcome, I wasn’t walking away from Gigi.
And it sucked. Because he was family, and I loved the dude more than life itself.
But I loved his sister more.
And if he forced me to choose—I would choose her. I hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but after the way he reacted tonight, I doubted we would ever be able to repair things. I kept checking my phone to see if Gigi or her father had texted me, but I hadn’t heard anything yet. I couldn’t believe she’d ended up hurt in this mess. I should have forced her inside before things escalated. I was pissed at myself for letting that shit go down in front of her.
Mariana brought a wet towel over and set an icepack beside me as she started cleaning up my face. “My goodness, you’re going to be hurting tomorrow.”
“Simon, can you grab some Tylenol from the medicine cabinet?” my mother asked as she gripped my hand.
“You want me to get it?” I could hear the disdain in his tone. “I think maybe it’s best that he suffer a little. Maybe that will teach him a lesson to stay out of trouble.”
“Simon,” my mother hissed. “I did not ask for your opinion. I asked you to do something for me and I’m still waiting.”
“Mom, let it go,” I said, as Mariana dabbed at the gash on my cheek and I flinched.
My stepfather slammed something on the table, and I assumed it was the bottle of Tylenol. The douchebag didn’t like being tasked, especially not for me.
“You coddle him too much,” Simon barked.
Jesus. If I were any less coddled someone would report my mother to CPS. It was a strange phenomenon growing up with so much money, yet zero emotional support. And I knew I was fortunate that at least I had that. But in all honesty, I’d trade the money for a little love all day long. Less shit and more care would have gone a long way. And I wasn’t a whiny bitch, I could deal with the hand that I was dealt, but I wasn’t going to sit by and let him call me coddled. I took offense to that.
I looked up at Simon and shook my head. “You don’t have a fucking clue who I am.”
“Well, let me guess. You got drunk tonight and probably got in a fight with someone who will come knocking at my door tomorrow and it will be my mess to clean up. I’ll have to bail your ass out. You’re just like your father, Gray,” Simon said, and for the first time, I realized his words were slurring.
Judgmental prick.
“For your information, I am completely sober. But you, on the other hand, might want to start taking it easy on the sauce. Glass houses, and all that shit, Simon.” My phone vibrated and I looked down at the screen.
Bradley ~ We just got to the hospital. Gigi needs a couple stitches in the back of her head, but she should be okay. She’s filled us in on the gist of what went on tonight, and I need you to know that we do not think any of this is your fault. I’m not happy with my son at the moment, but once he sobers up, I will speak to him. His behavior was unacceptable. Merry Christmas, Gray.
I pushed to my feet and kissed my mother and Mariana on the cheek. “Thanks for your help. I’ve got to go.”
“What? It’s Christmas Eve. Where are you going?” my mother asked as she studied me.
“I’m tired of being somewhere I’m not wanted.” I turned to face Simon. “I’m sorry that you married a woman with a kid. And I’m sorry that you hate my father. He’s made a lot of mistakes, but just because I want him to get better does not mean that I think what he’s done is okay. I am a lot of things, Simon. But I am not my dad. And I don’t need to prove that to you anymore. As long as I know who I am, I’ll be all right. So, keep being good to my mom, Bea, and Penn, and we won’t have a problem.”
My stepfather stared at me but didn’t speak, which was a first. I was tired of battling the man. Tired of feeling like I didn’t belong. And now that I’d fucked things up with Cade, I didn’t belong at the Jacobs’ house either.
But I belonged with Gigi, regardless of who thought so. And yes, this wouldn’t make for a good Christmas, but I didn’t fucking care. I was glad it was out in the open. I was tired of hiding who I was. Who I wanted to be. The one person I cared about most, Gigi, knew me. That’s all that mattered to me.
“Are you going to the Jacobs’?” my mother asked, and Mariana stood behind her with tears streaming down her face. There were many times that she’d stepped up as more of a mother than my own mom had. But we all made choices and we all had our own struggles, so I wasn’t judging my mother. I just knew that I didn’t want to be here.
“Don’t worry about it, Mom. I’m fine. I’m pretty good at surviving on my own. I’ve been doing it for a long ass time.” I kissed the top of her head and walked out.
I drove straight to the hospital and made my way into the emergency room and found Katie Jacobs standing in front of a machine full of snacks. She had a pile on the chair beside her and she looked up when I walked in.
She set down the cookies in her hand with the rest of the snacks and hurried toward me. She hugged me so tight it was hard to breathe. It was the first time I’d relaxed in hours.
We stood like that for much longer than usual before she pulled back and swiped at the tears streaming down her face. She leaned up and ran her fingers over the cut on my cheek.
“You look terrible,” she said over a chuckle.
I laughed. “Thanks. How’s Gigi?”
“She’ll be all right. She’s in back with Bradley getting stitched up now. I think her heart hurts a lot more than her head.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I get that. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you.”
“You don’t need to be sorry, Gray. I know you love my daughter. I think I knew it before either of you two did.” She reached for the snacks and handed me a few to carry as we walked through the waiting room.
“We wanted to make sure it was something that would last before we told you guys—well, especially Cade.”
She turned to look at me when we pushed through a set of doors to find Gigi. “I think you and Gigi are just the two people he’s closest to in the world, and he doesn’t know how to handle it. And trust me, I’m not making excuses for him. He acted like a jackass. He’ll come around. You know how he is.”
I wasn’t so sure she was right about that, but I nodded. It was Christmas fucking Eve and we were in the fucking emergency room because Cade and I had gone to blows. I didn’t need to add any more drama to this mess.
We stepped into the room and found Gigi and Bradley getting her things together to leave. She rushed into my arms when she saw me. “You’re here.”
“Of course, I’m h
ere. You’re here. Where else would I be?” I laughed as I wrapped my arms around her.
“Thanks for coming, Gray.” Bradley clapped me on the back. “We’ll give you two a minute.”
“How do you feel?” I asked, pulling back to look at her. I turned her around and lifted her hair to see a small patch at the bottom of her skull shaved and eight or nine stitches were there. “Jesus. That’s a big gash.”
“Thankfully I have a lot of hair, so Dr. Darby said no one will be able to see it.”
“I’m sorry you got hurt. I guess that went about as bad as it could have gone, huh?” I said as I studied her.
“He was drunk. He’ll regret it in the morning. I’m so pissed at him I can’t even see straight. The things he said to you, oh my gosh. Who does he think he is?”
“Listen, G. Your brother loves you so damn much, and I get that. Don’t be too hard on him. He would never intentionally hurt you, we both know that. He’s going to beat himself up something fierce for you getting hurt. Cut him some slack, okay?”
Her sapphire blues searched mine, and a little line formed between her brows as panic set in. “What? Where are you going?”
“I’m going to head back to school. Your brother needs time, and I can’t be at Simon’s anymore. I’d rather be alone than at that house,” I said, resting my forehead against hers.
“I’ll come with you. We can leave tonight.”
“No, G. Do this for me. Stay here and mend things with Cade. Will you do that for me?” I asked.
She pulled back and tears streamed down her face. “Of course. I’d do anything for you. But I don’t want you to be alone on Christmas.”
“I’ve never cared much for the holidays, you know that.” I laughed, trying to lighten the situation and the sadness I saw in her eyes. “Do this for me, please. I’ll see you in two weeks, okay?”
The tears continued to fall. Her little hands settled on each of my cheeks. “You’re not leaving me, are you?”
“Never, baby. I just can’t stand the thought of coming between you and your brother. You need this time together, and I’ll be waiting for you. I promise.”
“Okay,” she croaked.
“There’s nothing to cry about. It’s finally out there. The worst is over.” I wanted to make her feel better, but I wasn’t sure if that was true. Because if Cade never forgave me, it would be the worst thing to ever happen to me. But I’d still do it all over again for her.
I reached for her hand and we intertwined our fingers and I led her out of the room. Katie and Bradley stood there eating M&M’s and they smiled when they saw us. We walked out to the parking lot and I turned and hugged them each goodbye.
“You know you can come back to the house,” Katie said, as she reached up to touch my cheek.
“Not now, but I’ll be back. Merry Christmas.”
“I love you, Gray. You know that, right?” Katie asked.
“I do. I love you, too.”
Bradley cocked his head to the side. “Are you going to your mom’s house?”
“Nah. I’m going to head back to school early. I’ll see you soon.”
Bradley and Katie exchanged a look but nodded and got in the car.
“I don’t want you to go.” Gigi lunged at me one more time.
“You worry too much, baby. I’ll call you in the morning, okay?” I needed to get her in the car and get out of there before she convinced me to let her come with me.
“Okay. I love you.” She climbed into the car and I walked to my truck.
I started the engine and got on the road.
It’s not the way I planned on spending Christmas.
But I was completely at peace with it.
I made it back late to the house and spent most of the drive on the phone with Gigi. She hadn’t talked to Cade yet as he’d passed out drunk while they were at the hospital, and I knew he’d be waking up with a bitch of a hangover and a lot of guilt over his sister getting hurt. I was glad she was there, though she tried to convince me that she should drive here tomorrow, and I made her promise me again that she would stay and fix things with her brother.
I could handle Cade not forgiving me because I deserved it. But I couldn’t handle coming between him and his sister. They loved one another so much, and they needed to work through this.
I took a quick shower and crashed. My sheets still smelled like Gigi, and that made being here tolerable.
I slept late and woke up to a bunch of messages from my girl. There was also one from my dad, Mariana, Katie Jacobs, and Wren wishing me a Merry Christmas. My phone rang and Gigi’s name flashed across the screen. It was a FaceTime call and I waited for her face to come in focus while I propped my pillows on my bed to sit up.
“Hey,” I said. “Merry Christmas, beautiful.”
“You’re finally up. It’s late. Merry Christmas. I miss you,” she said, frowning at the screen.
“What’s wrong? How’s your head?”
“My head is fine, Gray. I just hate that you’re there and I’m here.”
“How was Christmas morning? Have you talked to your brother?” I asked.
“He tried. He only apologized for my head injury. I kind of still hate him, so not much more has been said.” She fiddled with the heart charm that hung from her necklace and I smiled. I loved that she’d never taken it off since the moment I’d given it to her.
“Baby. Talk to him. Do not come back until you two are okay. You got it?”
“Why are you being so nice to him after what he did to you? He’s such an asshole,” she said.
“Because I’ve been an asshole enough times to know when someone deserves a pass. Give him a pass, G.”
She rolled her eyes. “We had a visitor this morning.”
“Oh yeah? Who?”
“Your mom.” She raised her eyebrows and cocked her head to the side.
“My mom? On Christmas morning? What did she want?”
“She wanted to see you.”
I shook my head. “Jesus. That’s… surprising. I’m shocked Simon allowed that.”
“She looked like she hadn’t slept and said she was worried about you. She asked Cade if he knew what had happened to you last night.”
“Shit. What did he say?” I asked.
“Keep in mind he’s extremely hungover and no one in this house is speaking much to him. He just stared at her and shook his head before I asked him to leave us alone. I told her that you and my brother had a disagreement and that Cade was an idiot.” She finally smiled and shook her head. “She thought you were here. I told her you went back to school.”
I scrubbed a hand up the back of my neck.
“All right. I’ll give her a call later. I’m going to call my grandparents and let them know I’m not coming by today.”
“Okay. Will you call me later?” She looked tired and sad.
“Of course. Go talk to your brother.”
She nodded. “I love you, Gray.”
“Love you more.”
I pushed up to walk to the bathroom to take a piss and brush my teeth. I glanced in the mirror to see a nasty cut and a bruise beneath my left eye. I’d been in fights before, and this wasn’t terrible. Bruises healed. And hopefully time would heal the wounds between my best friend and me. I dialed my grandparents and they were disappointed they wouldn’t see me today, but I promised to come home and visit soon. I called my dad next, and he told me he’d be moving to a halfway house tomorrow as he had completed the program. Well, he’d basically run out of money. Was he ready for the real world? Probably not. But at some point, he would have to find out if he would sink or swim.
My LSAT prep books had arrived in the mail and I pulled them out and got to work. May as well take advantage of the time and the quiet.
A few hours later, I realized it was well past luncht
ime and grabbed my keys to go pick up some food. I didn’t know if anything would be open on Christmas Day, but I couldn’t be the only asshole who was hungry. I pulled the door open and startled when I saw my mother walking up the steps to the fraternity house.
“Mom?”
“Hey. Merry Christmas,” she said, and she held up a bag. “I have barbecue. Are you hungry?”
“What? Yeah. Come in. What are you doing here? Where are the girls?”
My mother had never been to campus. It just wasn’t her thing. She was busy with Simon and the girls, and I always just went home. It had never bothered me—it is what it is. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy to see her standing on my front porch.
She stepped inside and I led her to the kitchen. “I wasn’t going to let you be alone on Christmas. No matter how many mistakes I’ve made in the past, I wasn’t going to make another one.”
I nodded and grabbed some utensils and two bottles of water and set them on the table. I wasn’t sure how to respond. “You didn’t need to leave the girls.”
“You’re my child too, Gray.” She shook her head when she dropped in the seat beside me. “Simon can handle them just fine on his own. What you said to him last night, well, I want you to know he heard you. He has been drinking too much. We’d gotten into it a few months ago when he made that effort to go to dinner with you, but he’s been falling back into those old habits over the holidays and it’s not acceptable. And he can be a judgmental ass.”
I barked out a laugh. My mom never cussed, and she never said anything negative about her husband.
“That’s putting it mildly.” I chuckled as I pulled the two containers out of the bag. The smell of barbecue sauce had my stomach rumbling. “But I’m glad he heard me. I can’t do it anymore, Mom. I can’t be there letting him take out his anger toward Dad on me. I get it. Dad fucked up. But I don’t need Simon telling me that every fucking time I’m home.”
She nodded and a tear ran down her face. “I agree, dear, and you’re right. I should have spoken up a long time ago, and I’m sorry for that. But I will be more vocal with him from now on.”
