True Bastard: A Dark Sparrow Novel

by India Kells

  Prepared to venture into the insanely big house, it was a faint sound coming from the other room situated by the door that redirected her. Could it be Liam? Her hand was knocking before she could finish asking that question in her head.

  As if on cue, the door opened to Liam’s exhausted but worried expression. “Are you all right? The boys?”

  Her heart softened at seeing him and she shook her head. “They’re fine, we all are. I’m more worried about you. I haven’t had a chance to talk to you since you rescued me. Well, me and Lucas.” Squaring her shoulders, she soldiered through. “I have to explain why I left...”

  Liam sighed and retreated inside to sit on his bed, rubbing his leg. “Don’t. Archer, Aleksei, and I found what you’d discovered. You don’t know us, any of us, and you were thinking about your safety. I can’t hold it against you, even if Aleksei is pretty pissed at you for putting yourself in danger, even unknowingly. We were just lucky that you turned on your cell phone when you did. We were in the car, driving around, trying to retrace your steps as soon as we realized you were gone. We learned you got in a car with a woman, Cary told us that much. But when we discovered who it was, I thought I’d die from worry.”

  “What? You knew I was with Hazel?”

  “If only, angel. The name she gave you may have been Hazel, but that’s not who she is. Her real name is Helen Harrington, and she’s deceived us before. Well, deceived Archer. Once we got her picture from a street camera, he confirmed it.”

  Catriona didn’t know what to think. “Why would this random woman have an interest in me? What did she do to Archer? I’m not sure I understand.”

  With a deep exhale, Liam shook his head. “It’s because you’re missing a bit of information, the same we’d missed too. Helen Harrington is Jamieson Finch’s sister, and she’s helping her brother in his nefarious dealings, including his desire to wipe us from the face of the earth. She’d tried modifying her appearance, and if Aleksei had got a better look at her, he would’ve arrested the woman. She attempted to kill Zoe, and I don’t want to know what would’ve happened if she’d accomplished whatever her task was with you. I wish you’d trusted me, Catriona.”

  All she wanted was to take his hand and try to erase the tiredness she saw there. How hard it was to restrain herself. She would abide by his wishes. “I trust people. It’s who I am. And on our way here, I thought about it all, and even if I was afraid and in danger, everything happened for a reason, if only to save Lucas. You must see that.”

  This time, Catriona swallowed hard. “It was a mix of your rejection and what I discovered in those papers. You know, there was no need to try any seduce me to convince me to help you. That was a given from the start. I’d rather you stay yourself and not force yourself to be someone you aren’t. As for what I saw in the documents... I should’ve known better than get caught up in the storm of doubts and emotions I felt after you left. Even an idiot wouldn’t have believed that you or your brothers were dumb enough to give me papers that could incriminate you from the start. There has to be another layer to it, and if you want to offer me one more chance, I’ll take another, calmer, look at it.”

  He planted his stormy eyes on hers for what seemed to be an eternity before he finally spoke. “I never played you, in any way, Catriona. I’ve never liked deception. When I kissed you, it was because I couldn’t help myself. If Deva hadn’t barged in, things would’ve gone further than a kiss. I only stopped because I think you’re making a mistake.”

  The words made her freeze, repeating them in her head as if to better understand them. “If you wanted to kiss me, if you wanted... to take it further, why are you taking the decision out of my hands? It’s my decision to make that mistake as you call it.”

  It was clear that Liam was battling with himself, so Catriona offered him a smile. “We’re on this earth to make mistakes. Do you think that’s the first time I’ve ever thought about being with a man, sleeping with one? When you choose a path, you have to relinquish several more. No one goes into a religious life without considering that, otherwise, the weight of the commitment would break you in two. I haven’t slept with anyone because each time I was convinced it was the wrong decision, until you.”

  When he shook his head, she pushed even more. “I heard about your mother, what happened to her.”

  The revelation shocked him. “If you know about her, you’re aware of the reasons we should steer clear of each other. What if making you mine shatters something inside you, like it did my mother? I’ve already destroyed a woman who deserved better, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I’d done it again.”

  For the second time since she’d met him, Catriona dropped in front of him, taking his hands, and praying to find the appropriate words to soothe his sufferings. “Your mother was raped, which is a tragedy. Maybe she could’ve been healed, maybe not. That is out of your control. What’s important is doing what you feel is right. Should I act on the attraction I have for you? Maybe, maybe not. The one thing I know for sure is you can’t carry the rights and wrongs of the world on your back. Do your best, be good, follow your heart, the rest is in the hands of God.”

  Liam covered her hands with his. “And if doing my best and following my heart are two different things?”

  This was the very conundrum they were both in, and there wasn’t an easy answer. However, Catriona had her own decisions to make. Her goals were becoming more evident, but whether he took her up on her offer would confirm her next step.

  Anticipation gripping her stomach in a vice, unable to decide which move to take, but hoping that the Heavens would give her a clue, she almost sighed in relief when Liam closed the gap between them and possessed her lips. It was nothing like the previous times they’d kissed, but more tentative.

  When he broke their connection, he sighed, the pain even more evident on his face. “Why do I have the impression that even if I follow my heart, I’m forcing you into something you’ll regret?”

  Just when she thought he’d push her away again, his hands grabbed her waist and brought her to the bed. In a flash, the kiss returned, hungry and so urgent, and it made her burn even brighter. Catriona parted her knees on each side of his waist, and it became difficult to breathe as she pressed herself down against his body. Was this it? How much she’d hoped it was, with him. She knew her decision could never be undone once made.

  Could her anxious anticipation be a warning after all? When Liam’s rough hands rasped her skin under her sweater, her body told her it was the right thing to do. With a gasp, Catriona clumsily touched his shoulders, following the ridge of muscles leading to his neck before delving her fingers into his hair. Was it enough for him? Would he like it?

  Her mind scrambled until Liam slid his hands off her body to quickly remove his sweater, throwing it hard against the wall. Only then did he return to her mouth, his kiss now more demanding, less guarded.

  Her being felt so alive and restless, like electricity pulsed through every nerve ending, everything converging between her legs in the most arousing sensation. As if to increase the sensations and contact, her hips started moving, but the friction was far from satisfying. She wanted more, and it was clear her lover had the same need when he brought her down with him on the bed.

  In this position, she couldn’t see or touch him, and her fingers itched to do so. Emboldened, she pushed herself up, straddling him as his silver eyes seared through her every cell. She did the same, looking at the man on the bed. He appeared feral, even lying prone like he was. Every breath made her move, his muscles tense under tempting skin. For the longest time, he didn’t twitch, allowing her to adjust. It must have been trying for him to hold back, and his breathing became labored as he swallowed hard several times. His corded neck held her attention, and she wondered how he’d react if she indulged herself by kissing and maybe licking the skin there. When her core clenched reflectively at the thought, Catriona knew another step had to be taken.

  Hands trembli
ng, she gripped the hem of her sweater and pulled it over her head. Now, half-naked apart from her bra, her brain couldn’t compute this new information. What she’d just done contradicted everything she’d been taught or believed. Where was the decency she’d held onto for so long?

  Liam didn’t stay frozen in expectation for long. At first, she thought he’d resume caressing her, but he surprised her by taking her hands and placing them on his body. “Touch me.”

  The words in his low voice took her breath away, an order she couldn’t resist.

  Alive and hard under her fingers, she reveled in every muscle and sinew she could touch on his abdomen. She’d seen half-naked men before at the beach or on TV, but that was nothing compared to the live specimen under her palms. Pressing lightly, she started to explore, caressing his sides until he hissed.

  “Careful. That tickles.”

  This was a clear threat, but it amused her, and she felt safe with him. She was ready to retrace her path when he pushed his hips up with a groan she felt in the vibrations under her fingertips.

  Amusement dissipated and instead, she decided to satisfy her curiosity and lowered herself until she could press her lips to the base of his neck. His pulse jumped and accelerated when she licked, and as she plastered herself to his chest, her breasts squished against him and they both shivered.

  Radiating heat, Liam stayed still under her ministrations, apart from the continued undulations of his hips.

  A faint sheen covered his body as he held himself back under her swirling tongue. Her heart beating fast, Catriona gathered her courage and pushed herself up again, but this time, twisted to remove her bra, moving quickly to make sure she didn’t change her mind.

  The piece of bland lingerie slipped from her limp fingers and she fought the need to cover herself. Instead, she locked eyes with the man under her, who was growing tenser by the second. Only then did she reach for his fisted hand lying beside him, and mimicked what he’d done to her, bringing his palm to the shivering skin between her breasts.

  Immobile at first, Liam gently rubbed her sternum as she held his wrist, but when she let go of that last lifeline, he didn’t need further encouragement. Fingertips traced the outer roundness of her breasts in a whispering caress, and she relaxed into the foreign touch.

  Emboldened, he cupped her flesh, teasing her nipple with his thumb. Goosebumps quickly spread, and the low hunger seemed to take even more importance between her legs. When she reached for his second hand, Liam almost launched himself at her.

  Restless now, Catriona was discovering new sensations by the minute, submitting herself to his talented hands, while longing for more.

  “Liam?” She was surprised to hear the desperation in his name.

  Silently answering her plea, Liam partially abandoned her upper body to slide a palm between them and cup her sex, still covered by her pants.

  As she opened her mouth, a male voice came from within the suite, calling Liam’s name, soon followed by a knock at the door.

  Frozen in time, breathing hard, Liam cringed and cursed as he tore himself away from her. Catriona stood too, her hands trembling as she reached for her bra and top on the floor.

  Liam popped his head out and whispered something before closing the door and putting his sweater on. “I need to go, Archer needs me.” He hesitated before leaving, returning to Catriona, and stealing a kiss with sad eyes. “That’s twice we’ve tried, twice we’ve been stopped. Do you think it’s a sign God is against us?”

  Heart skipping, her entire being rebelled against the idea, but he was gone before she could tell him otherwise. Casting her eyes to the sky, feeling frustration for the first time in her life, she didn’t know if she was ready to accept their interrupted moment together as a sign. Instead, she sent a last request in the universe; if the next time they lay together they were interrupted, she’d fight no more, and she’d know what to do.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “We’re in the forest. How will you find food, Cary?”

  Catriona blinked a few times at Ted, who looked up at his big brother, his big eyes filled with uncertainty, hanging onto Chewy’s collar like a lifeline. It was the very first time she’d heard him speak, her heart squeezing so hard in her chest, guessing at the struggles the two of them had to face.

  When she’d laid down the law and told Liam she wouldn’t go with them if Cary and his family didn’t come, she now had the reason why.

  In the death of the night, Cary appeared with the little boy clutching his hand and a sports bag that didn’t seem to hold a lot. Catriona could see so many layers of suffering and sacrifices, and the dedication of a big brother who’d had to become an adult when he was barely a teenager.

  Cary had been tight-lipped about their lack of parents, and the dark look he gave her prevented any further questions.

  Ted was a shy and adorable boy, clinging to Cary with all his might, and eyeing her like she was a monster about to tear him away from his brother. However, it was the dog that made him grin and pulled him out of his shell.

  Nonetheless, she smiled at Ted, keeping the distance he had to feel safe. “No need to go out. We’re going to find the kitchen and get some food there.”

  As they walked, Ted murmured something to Cary who shook his head. “No, we don’t want money.”

  Her heart twisted hard in her chest, making her smile wobbly. The more she observed them, the more she saw that both brothers mustn’t have eaten each day or have a protected place to sleep. A silent promise formed in her heart, one she vowed she’d keep.

  Liam hadn’t been in his room when Catriona prepared the boys to head for breakfast, and it was easy for her brain to repeat the same scene as before, when he regretted touching her. Once more.

  The place looked like a vast compound disguised as a mansion, or a very luxurious maze. Catriona was used to grand spaces, from living in convents and staying in Vatican City. Somehow, they all converged to the same point, which invariably headed to the kitchen.

  As expected, voices, laughter, and a baby crying could be heard around the corner, guiding the way. The place was full of women, and apart from Deva and Lucas, who she already knew, it was filled with unfamiliar faces.

  As Chewy barked joyfully, his big tail wagging, Deva came forward, all smiles and a big steaming cup of coffee in her hand. “Good morning! Hope you slept well.”

  She pushed a mug into her hands as Lucas came in with a smile and nodded at Cary and Ted. “Hey! I’m Lucas. I bet you’re starving, wanna come and help me with breakfast? I’m making pancakes which are my specialty.”

  Ted partially hid behind his brother as Cary looked up at her, as if searching for confirmation. “I’d love pancakes, and I’m sure Lucas can make some for you, even show you how it’s done. I’ll be right here. I’m going nowhere without letting you know.”

  That seemed to satisfy the teenager who pulled his brother toward the kitchen.

  Deva stayed by her side as Catriona finally took the first sip of coffee. “Sorry if we’re late. I was up early, but the boys were still sleeping, and I didn’t have the heart to wake them.”

  “You did well. It’s not as if we’re going anywhere. From what Aleksei told me, until the situation is secured, the men are dead set on us staying here. And if you’re searching for our jailers, they’re currently working on security or something similar. I tried to get more details, but each time I ask questions, it gets complicated.”

  Catriona smiled, easily getting the reference. Deva steered her toward the large kitchen table. “There’s a formal dining room, but personally, I’m not into formality. None of us are. And it’s more practical cooking and eating in the same place. Come, let me introduce you to the rest of the members of our club of women crazy enough to date or marry those men.

  She opened her mouth to deny the dating part, but Deva steered her away too fast. A smiling red-head woman with a wriggling toddler in her arms extended her hand. Apologizing for her baby having a belly ache
for the fourth day in a row, she introduced herself as Zoe Blackwood. Dark framed glasses on her beautiful face, Deva said she was Archer’s wife. The drooling and crying angel with her was their daughter, Julia.

  Sitting at the table was the most beautiful woman Catriona had ever seen. A blonde goddess with wavy hair and sparkling pale eyes. Catriona almost expected her to be dressed in an evening gown and was surprised to see her clad in funny snowmen pajamas, but Isabel Osborne seemed to be the complete opposite of the ice queen her looks must often convey. The love of Kai Jones’ life, one of the brothers she hadn’t met yet, welcomed her with tremendous warmth, telling her to sit, even asking her if she wanted her to prepare her a plate of food.

  Before she could answer, Catriona was taking a seat in the middle of a noisy and improbable family gathering.

  As Isabel went to the counter and grabbed a dish, Catriona glanced at Cary who was standing by Lucas’s side at the stove, holding Ted in his arms as the young man stirred something in a pan. Lucas was speaking, and Cary looked so focused, as if trying to learn and process everything the older boy was saying. It was very faint, but Cary appeared younger, less burdened, she would say. Ted had an identical expression to his older brother, his hands and mouth full of strawberries, looking at what was inside the pan with even more longing. Chewy sat nearby, hoping for some scraps.

  “You did good, bringing them here.”

  Deva’s voice sliced through the ruckus, but not loud enough to be heard by the boys. “What do you mean?”

  Isabel was chuckling at something Lucas said, and Ted threw her a strawberry. Cary’s laugh was surprising, as it was the first time she’d seen him acting his age.

  “Kai ran some of his military face recognition software on Cary from the camera footage at the apartment and got some information about them. The two Paylor boys lost their parents in a shooting two years ago. Child services got them and tried to separate them. Didn’t go well. The morning when they were supposed to be transferred out, they disappeared. Until now.”