True Bastard: A Dark Sparrow Novel

by India Kells

  Liam couldn’t breathe, let alone think. Knowing who she was and seeing her kneeling almost entirely naked before him was the most erotic and taboo sight he’d ever seen. A groan erupted when she licked her lips. Muscles bunched, he wanted to tell her to stop and save herself, but she darted her tongue out to lick him.

  Tentative, hesitant, lost in the sexiest sight, Liam wrenched himself from her, his heart beating as if he’d been running a marathon.

  Doubt returned to her beautiful face. “Have I done something wrong? Wasn’t I supposed to…?”

  Liam stopped her question by hauling her up to her feet and crushing her mouth to his, no finesse, communicating raw lust. Bodies plastered together, hands now groping each other, Liam took a little bit of control back and steered her backward until she fell on his bed.

  She was still bouncing on the mattress when he covered her with his body, his mouth roaming every fragrant inch of her. The scent of her arousal was slowly overpowering the sweetness of her skin. That fact made him smile as he nipped at her hip and she jumped in reaction.

  “What are your fantasies, little nun? What are the dark parts of your imagination? Tell me everything.”

  Another nip and Catriona gasped. “I haven’t... I’ve never... before you.”

  “Ah, but there are naughty thoughts in that mind of yours. Tell me them.”

  Catriona hesitated but not Liam when he licked a path down to her knee as his other hand started a slow journey upward, teasing the tender flesh of her thigh.

  The leg trembled a little under his caressing palm. “I don’t hear you, angel.”

  “I wondered how you tasted.”

  His stubble scratched the inside her leg. “Now you know. But I don’t know how you taste.”

  It took a moment for her to understand what he meant, but when she tried to close her legs, Liam’s shoulders were in the way.

  “No problem, angel, we can stop. All you have to do is say the word.”

  It was a clear taunt, but the woman wasn’t the type to chicken out of anything. Pushing herself up on her elbows, cheeks colored with a deepening shade of red, she seemed to brace herself and open her knees.

  One kiss after another, Liam barely moved for a few minutes until he sensed her apprehension was slowly easing, replaced by curiosity and desire.

  As soon as that particular light sparked in her doe eyes, he didn’t allow her to think and buried his face between her legs, tongue swirling around the throbbing clit, but not touching it.

  As she bowed on the bed, Liam felt drunk with elation. He wasn’t the type of man who thought virginity was important. Until this moment, he couldn’t have cared less, especially if liked the woman. But Catriona wasn’t like any other woman. She tasted like innocence and sin, all in one lick. What she offered him made him frantic with need, but also with some a sense of responsibility, and the nagging feeling that if he didn’t take her now, the opportunity would slip through his fingers forever. Therefore, he savored her, teased her, until the noises coming out of her were ones he was certain had never crossed her lips before.

  Making her crest, almost on the verge, he retreated. The moan of disappointment mixed with the groan of disagreement, couldn’t be more precise. Following her restless hips, he circled her entrance with a finger, making it all wet before barely pushing it inside.

  “Liam!”

  He knew he hadn’t hurt her at this stage but stopped moving. “Angel?”

  After a breath, Catriona exhaled with a laugh. “You just surprised me. I was lost in what you were doing to me for a minute and this... Isn’t it what everybody is talking about? That part?”

  Through the burning lust, his heart softened, and he crawled up her body, his only need to reassure her. “We don’t need to do anything, angel.”

  A smile brightened her face as she shifted down, legs wrapped around his hips. “I may be innocent, but I’m no angel. I’m made of flesh, just like you. And when we’re together, there’s a fire burning in my belly, spreading through me, and I don’t want it to end. I don’t want you to stop, Liam.”

  To prove her resolve, her thighs tightened, and her wet core pressed against his cock, which brought him back to more urgent matters.

  An exercise in restraint, Liam reached between them and took his cock in hand, positioning its tip at her entrance.

  It felt hot in his room, their skins were covered in sweat. Catriona’s hands clutched at his shoulders, before sifting through his hair, pulling at him. He relinquished her mouth, his body straining at the effort in keeping off her. However, he held his palm between them, his fingers busy.

  Her mouth mirrored his hunger, and he loved the way she took the initiative, and in turn, learned what made him react and twitch in pleasure.

  Liam was glad her body was taking over as he didn’t know how long he’d be able to maintain this position. Another victory was when Catriona, only focusing on the pleasure he was giving her, pumped her hips up, making his cock slide partway inside.

  “Good, angel. I love that you’re in charge.”

  “It didn’t hurt. How is this possible?”

  Liam would’ve laughed at the stunned expression on her face if he wasn’t fighting to not push the rest of the way in. Before he could form a coherent sentence, she tested herself again. And again. At that moment, Liam closed his eyelids, and for the first time since childhood, he prayed for strength, for Catriona’s sake. As for him, he didn’t know if he’d survive her, and he didn’t care.

  Only a cool hand on his cheek made him open his eyes. With her caramel eyes, his angel smiled, and he felt like he was in heaven. “I’m okay now. I want to experience the rest of it with you.”

  The last few words weren’t even finished when his body took control, and he pushed all the way in as she closed around him like a trembling fist. One of the reasons why she hadn’t felt pain was probably because of how aroused she’d been and, but he was damned if he could say a word now.

  However, he couldn't look away from her face as he continued pumping and placed one arm on each side of her head. Catriona never stopped touching him, defining each muscle on his body, kissing and licking every bit of skin she could reach.

  Liam knew he’d never tire of seeing emotions coloring her expression, setting her eyes alight, making her gasp and moan his name. Every trick he knew, every possible way he could pleasure her, he used on her body. Ignoring his demands, he twisted his hips until he could reach that spot in her, and as he hoped, it sent his woman into overdrive.

  The word stunned him, but it was true; at that moment, Catriona was no longer untouchable or pure, he’d made sure of that. She was a woman, his to possess in a selfish and narcissistic way, he wanted to be exactly that for her. The center of her universe, her beginning and her end.

  He knew he wouldn’t be able to stave off his orgasm much longer. When Catriona’s innocent eyes widened, and her body trembled beneath his before shattering in orgasm, he was convinced was the very first any man had given her, Liam came undone. He never wished to stop having her fill his vision, but he became blind and deaf, pulled in his ecstasy, and it was all he could do to say Catriona’s name.

  He repeated it again and again as every muscle bunched and rolled until reality started to seep in. He could feel Catriona’s warm and welcoming body cradling him as he resurfaced.

  Her hands were soft and caressing, and even if he realized he was crushing her, he couldn't move, not yet.

  Her lips skimmed his temple, and he swore he could feel her giggle a little. He was in heaven and never wanted to come back.

  How could this angel, a woman he knew so little of, offer him so much peace? And even worse, now that he’d known such paradise, how could he ever let her go?

  Gently, Liam rolled them both so Catriona could lay on him, which disengaged them. Condom, fuck, they hadn’t used one! What a damn idiot he’d been.

  While she nuzzled his chest, Liam swallowed hard. “Angel? Look at me.”


  The smile she offered finished tearing him apart. “Are you okay?”

  Now the smile turned into a shower of laughter. “Okay isn’t the right word. I think I died and came back to life many times in your arms. Not to sound disrespectful, but I caught a glimpse of God too.”

  Despite his worry, he couldn’t help but grin back at her. “I discovered heaven in your arms, my angel.” But too soon, he had to share what was on his mind. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking straight. I didn’t use protection. I’ve been an idiot. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. You kind of caught me off guard and...”

  Catriona frowned a little. “Protection?”

  “A condom, Catriona. I should have used one. I’m clean. I haven’t been with a woman in a long time, and after being shot, every drop of blood in me has been analyzed more than once. But...”

  The frown persisted as he struggled to find the right words, but once more, Catriona came to his rescue. “You mean I could get pregnant.”

  Now his heart raced. A part of him was scared to death that somehow, he’d robbed her of her destiny. When she said she’d wanted to experience the pull between them, he doubted she expected more from it than a quick fling. Another part, a growing one, was feeding on hope. It was twisted and wrong, but he wished for more than a simple fling. Like a moth drawn to the flame, he didn’t know if he could survive without her if she ever left.

  The nun should have been horrified, cursing his name and slapping him for his carelessness, but she didn’t do any of that. Instead, she looked at him like he was the most precious human being in the world, caressed his forehead before replacing a stray lock of hair, and gave him the softest and most searing kiss of all.

  “Whatever happens, Liam. I have faith.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  In the morning light, the world had rearranged itself with nothing the same as before.

  When she’d entered Liam’s bedroom, Catriona knew what was going to happen, what she wanted to happen, and on that front, there wasn’t a single regret in her mind. Under the cover of night, she’d explored more human nature than she ever believed possible.

  Not that she’d been entirely ignorant, but beyond pleasure, there was something else she’d experienced, which was the deepening of the connection she between her and Liam.

  If she were honest with herself, something was being woven between them, on her side at least. Nestled in his warm embrace, their bodies limp after exploring several aspects of the fire between them, Catriona wanted more.

  Did infatuation blind her? It was a possibility, but she’d followed her heart from as far back as she could remember, and it had never led her on the wrong path. However, there was one stark truth that halted everything: he’d agreed to provide his body for her explorations, but he wouldn’t be the one that steered her away from God. Catriona knew his decision was colored by what happened to his mother, the pain was still clearly etched in his eyes when he hinted at it. And another question was if she wanted to stray away herself from a path she’d believed the right one.

  Her heart thumped faster at the thought, and she didn’t know if it was due to the fear of leaving the convent, or the possibility of choosing a path that led to Liam. Liam Harker, a policeman, a man of honor, a man whose soul was riddled with scars from a father he wished to see dead. A true bastard as he’d told her once. A man who’d mostly turned his back to God to pursue a quest that would only end to death.

  All this was true, but when she looked into his eyes, how he acted, there was no deception in him. He’d cared about her when he made love to her. He was worried when he admitted to not using protection, and she noticed something more in his silver eyes that he hadn’t had time to conceal from her, a longing that he quickly erased from his face. Often, she noticed it when he was looking at her, that longing that drew her even closer to him. Despite his pain, sorrows, anger; those parts of him didn’t repel her. Her heart and soul longed for those brief instances of light she saw in him, still alive and fighting against the darkness. He didn’t need saving, he was in a battle to save himself, and all she wanted was to be by his side, as she was now. Nestled in his arms in the peaceful afterglow, Catriona felt as if in the most profound meditation, and prayed for guidance.

  Liam stirred and buried his nose in her hair, closing his arms around her. “Good morning, my gorgeous angel. And Merry Christmas.”

  How she loved his voice when it was scratchy from sleep and tinted with relaxed joy.

  Before she could answer back, wallowing in this pure joy of smiling back at him, a persistent buzzing sound came from the bedside table.

  With a growl that Liam probably wanted to sound menacing but wasn’t, he let go of her and rolled to pick up his phone. One quick look had him sighing before rolling back into place. “It’s just a text from Deva, telling me to get you and head for breakfast as everybody is conscripted for some Christmas thing.”

  He put his hands behind his head, and Catriona was certain he was pouting, not that she would dare tell him that.

  “It’s Christmas after all. I know you don’t really like holidays.”

  Liam snorted but didn’t say more, which made her want to pry. However, she could guess why a holiday filled with family, peace, and love could hurt a man who never experienced it as a child and then pushed it out of his mind to avoid remembering what he missed.

  “Since you’ve met your brothers, don’t you want to spend time with them, be together as a family?”

  With a groan, he pulled back his arm and took her hand. “We’re still learning how to be with each other outside of plotting to bring down our father. We’re so different. I fear once our mission is done, we won’t have anything strong enough to keep us together.”

  “You’re family, of course you’ll remain close.”

  “Bastard brothers, sons of a psychopath. Our relationship is hanging by a thread. I have no illusions.”

  The man was genuinely hurting, wanting a family, however dysfunctional. Bonds were always hard to form, but Catriona believed that anything was possible.

  “I think we should get out of bed and join the others for breakfast.”

  Liam blinked and gave her a sly smile. “I’d prefer to stay in bed with you.”

  Her heart sped up at the idea. “Raincheck until a bit later? If there is a later?”

  She sounded a bit hesitant, but that was how she felt about everything with him. And part of her didn’t want to force him, rush him into something he didn’t want, or assume anything.

  His energy changed, becoming lighter. “I want an encore. I want more of you, of us.”

  He sealed his words with a kiss that promised so much more. It would’ve been so easy to lean in and burn again, but she wanted to see him smile more first, so she skipped out of bed before he could convince her otherwise. Quickly wrapping her blushing nakedness with a throw, she waved at him.

  “Quick, get up. I’m starving. And I want to enjoy Christmas festivities with you and your family.”

  Catriona knew it would take some work, but the bastard brothers were turning a simple Christmas gathering into a teeth-gritting challenge.

  Archer, dressed in his three-piece suit, looked anything but relaxed and poor Zoe was trying her best to make him put down his phone, if only for a minute, with Julia babbling on her hip. Sam didn’t even bother to show up.

  Aleksei and Kai were in a corner watching the replay of a football game on TV, scarfing down Christmas cookies, and Liam stood there, hands in his pockets with the expression on his face of a man about to suffer the worst kind of torture. And if she wasn’t mistaken, he was inching toward the game too.

  Deva and Isabel were opening the boxes with Cary, Ted, and Lucas, trying to give the kids a festive atmosphere. Chewy was sniffing around, licking at the floor for scraps of food when he wasn’t playing with a discarded piece of plastic. Deva turned on Christmas music to try to drown the TV, but the men just turned it up, turning the space into a cacophony of noi
se.

  The boys looked up at Catriona with confusion in their eyes.

  It wouldn’t take much for the situation to get out of hand. Deva and Isabel were plotting to take the television and throw it out of the window and Catriona knew she had to act.

  With a smile, she kneeled by Cary’s side and winked at the young man. “I need your help. You and Ted. It will only take a minute.”

  Cary arched an eyebrow and nodded. “They don’t like Christmas, do they?”

  “The problem is they don’t know what to do at Christmas. They need a little push, and I think I know what to do.”

  Cary took his little brother’s hand and even gestured at Lucas who frowned, not sure of what was going on, but followed, nonetheless. Chewy didn’t bother to follow, eyeing the cookies on the coffee table instead.

  Leading her little troop into the next wing, Catriona didn’t knock and entered Lazarus’ room.

  Sasha was curled up on the sofa with a book, the only decoration in the room a twinkling plastic tree on the table beside her. Sam was sitting by Lazarus’ side, eyes lost in front of him.

  The little Ted squeezed Catriona’s hand, bringing her attention to him. When she crouched beside him, Ted looked at his big brother before looking at Lazarus immobile on his bed. “He’s not dead, darling, just sleeping. He was hurt, and his head decided that he needed to sleep a lot to heal.”

  “I knew that.” Cary puffed out, and she nodded at him.

  “Of course you knew, you’re too bright not too.”

  Sasha got out of her seat at their arrival. “Hey! It’s good to see you. So? How are the Christmas preparations going?” Lucas shuffled, and the doctor arched an eyebrow. “That bad?”

  Cary stepped forward. “They aren’t helping. And I want them to, it’s the first proper Christmas for Ted since...” The young boy hesitated, but Catriona understood and touched Cary’s shoulder in silent support.