True Bastard: A Dark Sparrow Novel

by India Kells

  However, he was able to keep Cary out of the report entirely and, even if there had been a lot of explaining to do, in the end, the report had been closed to everyone’s satisfaction, especially the bastard brothers. Still on his thoughts, Liam’s phone rang in his pocket and he frowned, recognizing Lazarus’ number.

  “Oz? Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, Liam. I was calling because I’m in the neighborhood and knew you had your meeting with the captain today. Wanna grab lunch? That diner of yours has some great hamburgers, and I remember a delicious key lime pie from the last time we went there.”

  Of all the places to eat, Liam wasn’t keen on returning to the place where he’d first came face to face with the angel he couldn’t have. However, he didn’t want to argue with his brother.

  “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

  Liam hung up and grabbed his coat before stepping outside into the frigid cold. He almost reached for Chewy’s leash but remembered that he’d given the mutt to Cary and Ted. It had been the right thing to do. It was clear the dog provided joy to the lonely boys. Also, Archer had promised Liam that the Paylor brothers would be taken care of, and the dog would tag along. Small blessings in a cruel world. If only he had the same easy solution for Sam.

  Since they’d escaped, it seemed as if his brother had been pulled under a riptide of dark memories he didn’t want to be saved from.

  The city was bubbling with activity. Another year had flown by, almost as quickly as the last few weeks, and now they were slowly heading to the month of March. He had to admit that since the holidays, his only high point had been Catriona surviving the electric shock every doctor had said should’ve been fatal.

  With clenched teeth, Liam forced her soft eyes out of his brain and braced his shoulders as he entered the restaurant. Debbie, in her usual place behind the counter, smiled at him, and he was glad that the good woman had no idea of the level of danger he had brought inside her establishment. It was inevitable that the woman wouldn’t ever have allowed him to set foot in the diner again.

  The diner was packed, and Liam saw Oz seated at the counter, sipping a coffee. He looked steadier, more robust than when he’d finally regained consciousness, not quite his old self, but on the way. Deva had taken charge of his recovery over the last month or so, putting him through an immediate physical therapy regime.

  With a clap on his shoulder, Liam sat beside him. “You look good for a man who flirted with death.”

  Lazarus’ bearded mouth quirked up, his British accent becoming thicker. “I sure did. I think my mission here isn’t done.”

  Liam smiled at Debbie, who brought him a coffee before taking their orders.

  Alone again, Liam sighed. “I’d have completed that mission if I’d killed Finch. I feel like I failed.”

  “You didn’t. You saved us all from having to fight a completely different battle against the police and the FBI. I have no doubt we would’ve ended up exposing the lie, but we’d have lost too much time doing so.”

  “Finch is still out there.”

  Lazarus shook his head. “But he’s more alone than ever. The only person who’d stayed by his side due to loyalty is now dead. The man is cornered.”

  “Cornered but dangerous. We don’t know where he’ll come from next, we haven’t cut off any of his funding.”

  Debbie came with their burgers, but Liam didn’t know if he could eat. Lazarus didn’t seem so affected and after devouring a few bites spoke. “God, that’s delicious. Deva is making me have those nasty protein shakes when all I want is real food. That’s so good.” Taking a few fries, he nudged his brother to do the same. “Eat. Not everything is lost. The wind shifted again this morning.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Lazarus wiped his hand. “Catriona was kind enough to come out of her retreat to finish the task she’d started. I thought she’d take more time to rest, but I should’ve known better.”

  Liam remembered too well how pale she’d been when her eyes opened. Shaken with burns on the back of her hands, her first words were how grateful she was for him, for his family, only increasing the guilt he felt for being unable to protect her. He may not have been responsible for all that happened to her, but if he hadn’t fallen for the beautiful angel, she wouldn’t have suffered so much.

  Impossible to form coherent words, he only nodded as Lazarus continued. “Somehow, she thought that her mission wasn’t closed, and needed to put a final nail in Finch’s coffin. Can you believe she discovered over two hundred accounts linked to our dear father? She sent everything to the FBI and gave me a copy of everything so I could relay it to Devin. If the FBI doesn’t close them all, Devin has offered to do it discreetly. It seems that Finch had made another enemy, and I’m not against using his hatred for our cause. And Catriona even found some more dirt Finch wanted to plant on all of us. I’ve taken care of it, erased every lie so nothing can taint any of your careers, or put you at risk of arrest. We’re not innocent choir boys, but if we go down, let it be because of actual things we’ve done, and not because of lies.”

  Inhaling deeply, keeping his emotions in check, he tried to make his voice sound as detached as possible. “It was very generous of her to leave the convent. After all she endured, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she remained behind closed doors, even for our family.”

  Debbie came again to refill their coffee and frowned at his still full plate. Thankfully, she was called away before she could tell him so.

  Lazarus didn’t utter a word about his untouched meal, and instead corrected him. “For a cop, your information isn’t very accurate. Although not surprising as you must’ve been busy with your report and convincing your captain to let you back to work. What did he say? What was his input on all this?”

  Liam straightened; sure he’d misheard his brother. “What do you mean, not accurate? Are you referring to my report?”

  “No, I’ve read it, and it’s to the point. That’s why I’m surprised you’re referring to Catriona being back at the convent. You must know she decided to walk away from her vocation. I haven’t said anything about her personally as Archer took care of everything for her. It’s no surprise, as she’s decided to adopt Cary and Ted.” Lazarus eyed Liam as if he’d sprouted another head. “Haven’t you talked to Archer lately? Everything was done quickly, but it wasn’t a secret. As soon as she got out of the hospital, they put the wheels in motion. I thought you knew. You were close to her, I assumed she’d confided in you, told you what she was planning concerning the boys.”

  Liam’s heart sank. “She probably didn’t want me to learn about it. I couldn’t protect her, so why would she tell me? She was withdrawn just before she left the hospital. It was clear she hates me.”

  To his surprise, Lazarus choked back a laugh. “Hate isn’t part of Catriona’s vocabulary. You should know that by now. Why would you ever believe that? I haven’t heard from her personally. However, Deva has called her several times. Catriona said that you showed her she wasn’t destined to become a nun. And if she couldn’t have you, she’s nonetheless found a family that makes her happy. Turn it any way you want, brother, but she believes you didn’t want her. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. You liked her, but there’s no need to lie to her about having feelings for her.”

  Liam’s initial reaction was to shout that he loved her, and that it was impossible that she wouldn’t know, although he’d held back. He’d kept her at a distance by continually reminding her that their arrangement was temporary, that she was destined to return to the convent and accomplish her vocation. So confident that she wasn’t serious, Liam had concealed his own feelings from her. Even if all he wanted was to admit his love to her, he’d put her fate first. Had he been wrong? Was it possible for a woman consecrated to God to change her mind?

  “She could’ve kept Cary and Ted with her at the convent.”

  Lazarus wasn’t satisfied. “Archer told me that when he handed her the adoption papers to f
ill out, Catriona cried when she put none in the field about the adoptive father. She asks about you each time she talks to him or Deva. But don’t worry, Archer has made sure she’s comfortable, and will take care of her until she returns to work.”

  “That’s not his place to take care of her!” The sudden outburst surprised the patrons around them almost as much as it surprised Liam himself. The faint possibility, that glimmer of hope that Catriona loved him, robbed him of breath and control.

  “Easy, Liam. Calm down.”

  Elbows on the counter, Liam leaned his head in his hands.

  “I see we were all wrong about your feelings toward Catriona. No wonder she believed that too. You constantly repeating that it was temporary, that she’s returning to the convent...” Lazarus took out his phone and typed for a minute. “I’m sending you her address, but be careful, Liam. She’s unique. I know she’ll welcome you but won’t accept anything temporary. Are you ready for that?”

  Anxiety should’ve gripped him, but instead, a serenity descended upon him, a confirmation and certainty that couldn’t be denied. When he looked up at his brother, Liam knew what to do, what he should’ve done from the moment his angel had come into his life. She’d made him see the light, and he wouldn’t let her disappear from his life without a fight.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “I’m not going, and you can’t make me.”

  Catriona sighed at Cary, who crossed his little arms, his beautiful face set in stone.

  “School isn’t a prison. And I’m not sending you right away, only next September. That’s many months away, all after summer. Don’t you want to learn new things?”

  Cary kicked the air, and Ted did the same as his brother, making Chewy bark. Her sons, or soon-to-be as soon as the papers would finally be official, were a handful, but they’d learn that being kind didn’t mean she’d yield easily. They were learning to live a normal life with each other, and it wasn’t an easy task, but Catriona couldn’t be happier.

  Both Cary and Ted softened her heart and enriched her life. The weeks she had spent with only the two of them were both the hardest and truest of her life and had confirmed that everything she’d renounced was nothing compared to what she’d gained.

  “I don’t want to be smart. You told me I’m already smart. And Liam said the same.”

  The name of the man who still made her heart stutter, reminded her of the only person who’d made her complete. How much she’d wanted to profess her love to him if she’d seen an opening.

  “You’re intelligent, but you could be so much more. But we don’t have to talk about it right now. Why don’t you and Ted go play with Chewy in the back yard? I’m preparing dinner.”

  “And can we watch a movie on the TV tonight? One with those funny speaking cars?”

  All thoughts of school forgotten in an instant, the boys jumped around her as she laughed. “Of course! We’re still going through our list of movies you haven’t seen yet. If we want to get up to date, we better not skip it! Now go, so I can get the food ready.”

  They sprinted to the entrance, grabbing their coats and boots before running to the back door, Chewy barking along the way. Before they got out, Catriona made sure they were appropriately covered, as the weather at the end of February was still frigid.

  The ruckus of the two boys made her smile, and she was grateful to Archer for finding her this house in a quaint neighborhood. The boys loved it; it was the perfect nest to start their new life. Catriona knew it was only temporary until she got her bearings and the boys could adjust.

  For that new life to begin, she’d had to close her old one. She hadn’t been able to go visit the sisters to announce her intention, but she’d promised to visit with her sons as soon as they could. Mother Superior welcomed the news as if she’d known all along that it would happen.

  It seems that she was the only one surprised by what God had in store for her. Although she’d hoped it included Liam. Knowing she couldn’t force love, Catriona prayed time would lessen the pain she felt each time her mind wandered to him. It was one of the wounds she’d need to tend, now that her burns were almost completely healed and didn’t require bandages anymore.

  She opened the fridge to analyze its contents and tried to decide what she could make—her skills in the kitchen were in dire need of improvement—when someone knocked at the door. One quick look at the backyard reassured her that the boys were busy building some sort of fort with the fresh snow covering the ground, before she went to the door.

  She didn’t know if it was the chilly air or the sight of Liam that froze her to the bone.

  It had been nearly two months since she’d last seen him, and the fire flared inside her with the same force.

  “Catriona.” His low voice almost weakened her knees.

  “Liam, what a surprise.” She knew she should invite him in, but it was impossible to think straight.

  He was the one to move first, taking a few steps until he could enter and shut the door behind him. “You’re going to catch a cold.” The frown that marred his face increased when his eyes went to her hands. “Your skin is still marked.”

  Catriona nodded. “The doctor told me it would take a few more weeks to disappear fully.”

  He didn’t seem convinced, and she didn’t have time to reassure him that she was all right when he brought both her hand to his mouth and kissed the rough, healing skin.

  “Liam, what are you doing here?”

  His silver eyes shone brightly when they lifted to her. Awaiting his explanation, he didn’t use words as a reply but kissed her instead.

  The kiss was soft, tentative. There was none of the possessiveness or heat she knew from before. It was different although with his familiar taste. When she opened her mouth, seeking more, he held back, but kept a hand gently cupping her face. “We need to talk.”

  Doubt seized her by the throat again. “Again, why are you here?”

  “I couldn’t stay away, angel. We need to talk.”

  She should have reacted, asked for answers right away or opened the door and kicked him out, but didn’t. He removed his boots and placed them neatly on the mat and shrugged off his coat before hanging it on a nearby hook.

  He stepped inside the home Archer had provided them and looked around.

  In a daze, her attention was drawn away from the man in her house by the two little storms tumbling back inside.

  “Liam!” Cary and Ted, still clothed in their outdoor gear, rushed at Liam, spreading snow and water everywhere on the floor. The boys launched themselves into his arms, and Catriona fought the tears at the sight of man and kids doubled over in laughter. Chewy quickly followed, yapping excitedly at his former owner.

  As if he was reading her mind, Liam kept a tight grip on them both and carried them to the entrance before putting their dripping boots on the carpet and kneeling to help them undress.

  Cary was chattering away, asking questions faster than Liam could answer while Ted just waited, one hand on Chewy’s head and another clutching at Liam’s sweater.

  Part of her feared seeing Liam again would trigger an adverse reaction from Cary about everything that had happened. The child psychologist they’d consulted had told her that kids were more resilient than adults gave them credit for, and she needed to give those two kids time to digest the events, their trauma, and their past lives as well.

  At this moment, Cary looked like a boy, happy to see a friend, filling his ears with everything that had happened since he’d arrived. Liam smiled and laughed, allowing himself to be dragged through the house while making sure to include Ted in the conversation and petting Chewy, who was sticking to him like glue.

  Standing alone in the middle of the living room, Catriona shook herself and returned to the kitchen. It was clear Liam wouldn’t leave without them having that talk, and the boys were too happy to see him for her to kick him out, so she started dinner.

  Distracted, she opted for a simple pasta dish with a salad
, one meal the boys were fond of, and didn’t require the use of all her brain cells.

  When they finally returned, Cary hadn’t slowed down.

  “Cary, Ted, go wash your hands. Dinner will be ready in a minute.”

  Both boys bolted out of the room, and Catriona didn’t know what to say to the man now alone with her.

  Liam went to the sink and washed his hands before turning to her. “I’m sorry for imposing on you. Do you need help?”

  She shook her head. “No, I’m not making anything complicated.”

  The awkwardness was short-lived when Cary came back with his little brother and the joyful chatter returned.

  Catriona was grateful Liam steered the conversation to positive news and discussions.

  Ted even got a few words in about his new room and the silly things Chewy had done since Liam last saw him.

  Said dog wasn’t being left out, begging for scraps between Cary and Ted, and even Liam, who gave him pieces of bread.

  Catriona remained silent, only smiling fondly at her boys, and carefully avoiding Liam’s mercury gaze, not ready yet for what he might have to say to her, while remembering his kiss.

  Before she could do anything about it, Cary begged her to let Liam stay for the evening and watch the movie with them. Ted looked at him with soulful hope that finished melting her.

  In a whirlwind, the boys kept Liam on his toes the moment they shoveled the last forkful of food into their mouths. They wanted to keep all his attention for themselves a little longer, but Liam was adamant about doing the dishes, so Catriona didn’t risk getting her hands wet. The boys even helped, Cary drying the plates and Ted wiping the table.

  It was so tempting to be bewitched by this vision of what life could be.

  Liam followed their newfound nighttime routine mixed with the excitement of having Liam around. After their bath, they played board games. Catriona made popcorn, and they watched their car movie, but the boys didn’t last long and fell asleep like logs between Catriona and Liam, drained from all that had happened.