The Fallout

by S.A. Bodeen

  “When was this?” I asked.

  She ignored my question. “I looked everywhere. I couldn’t believe that I’d used them all up. I knew Dad had to have more, somewhere.”

  I set a hand on her arm and squeezed. “But he didn’t.”

  She shook her head and a few tears slid down her cheek. “I didn’t know what to do. Nothing else was like them and…” She shrugged.

  “When was this?” I was beginning to put a timeline together in my head, trying to remember when Reese had become … different from who she’d always been.

  She didn’t answer my question. Instead, she said, “So I went looking for something else. Something that made me feel happy on the outside.”

  I froze. “Mary Poppins.” When Reese ran out of her favorite candy, the one thing she had left from the outside world that made her feel normal, she reached for another. And that was when she started watching Mary Poppins nonstop. And when she—

  “That’s when I started talking like I was British. I wanted to be one of those kids, I wanted to live with Mary Poppins.”

  I looked over at her. “I always wondered why.”

  She picked up a bag of M&M’s and let them drop on the bed. “See? I’m living proof that candy is bad for you.” She smiled a little.

  I hugged her. “How long have you been stockpiling?”

  She sat back and looked down. “Awhile.” Then she knelt on the floor beside her bed and lifted up the bed skirt.

  I got down beside her.

  Boxes packed the entire space beneath her bed. All the same, all obviously from Sugarworld, LLC. “Holy crap,” I said. “Do you even eat any?”

  She shook her head. “That’s the weird part. I don’t even want to. I just want to know that they’re there.” She watched for a minute. “I’m a freak.”

  “No,” I said, and put my arm around her. “Not at all. This is … this is about the most normal thing I’ve seen in a while. But…”

  “What?”

  “I think you have enough now. And if you need more, just tell me. I’ll go to Costco or something. Okay?”

  She nodded and wiped her eyes, then took a deep breath and smiled. “It’s better than talking in an English accent, right?”

  I nodded. “Candy is fine by me.” Then I picked up a bag and opened it, watching for her reaction. She didn’t really seem to care. It was more about having some at her disposal.

  So I poured a few into my hand and held them out. She made a face and simply watched as I ate them, then stuffed the bag back into the box along with all the others.

  She closed the box and shoved it under her bed. Then she sat back on her heels and tilted her head as she looked at me. “You won’t tell anyone, right?”

  I rubbed the top of her head, messing up her hair. “Nope. Just between us.” I stood up and held out my arms to her, then pulled her to her feet.

  “Thanks.”

  I glanced around. “How have you kept anyone from seeing them? Doesn’t Gram come and vacuum?”

  Reese said, “I’ve been cleaning my own room.”

  Then I realized. “That’s why you vacuum! Not to help out, but to keep people out of here.”

  She shrugged.

  “You’re too smart for your own good.” I smiled and went out into the hallway, shutting the door behind me.

  I’d been so worried about Reese. But it seemed like she’d found her own harmless, if slightly obsessive, way to deal with her leftover demons. I only wish the rest of us could be placated with several pounds of chocolate with a colorful candy shell.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  All day, I avoided Eddy. Even though I was trying to be mature about the whole thing, I had no idea how to approach him. If I went in there begging him to hang out with me, then I’d be exactly the person he had been trying to get away from. But if I went in there all cold and calculated, telling him to hang out with who he wanted to … that wouldn’t work either.

  What did I want?

  It was easier to think about what I didn’t.

  And I didn’t want to be left out. I didn’t want to have to sit there, night after night, knowing my brother was out running around with some guy he barely knew, because that stranger was more fun that I was.

  I wanted to be part of it, too. I wanted to be included.

  And if that meant throwing aside my paranoia and fear and mistrust of the world, then I would suck it up and do it.

  About ten o’clock that night I was watching television and realized I couldn’t wait anymore. I turned off the television, not even aware of what had been on the past couple of hours. In stocking feet, I walked down to Eddy’s room and knocked.

  “Yeah, come in.”

  I pushed the door open. He was lying on his bed, an arm over his face, with only the bedside lamp for light. “Eddy?”

  He didn’t move. “I think I’m gonna puke.”

  “Maybe you caught whatever we all had.”

  “Yeah. Thanks.” Then he jumped up and ran for the bathroom.

  I heard him throw up. “Ugh.” I walked over to the open door and stood beside it, not looking in. “Can I do anything?”

  I heard him spit into the toilet and then flush it. “Get me a pillow. I think I’m sleeping in here tonight.”

  I grabbed a pillow from his bed and a light blanket off the end of his bed and carried them into the bathroom.

  “Thanks.” He took the pillow and put it on the floor, then lay down on the tile, knees up, and put his arm over his eyes. “Oh, God.”

  I set the blanket on the floor beside him. “Want me to stay?”

  “No.”

  “Feel better.” I shut the door and turned to go.

  His room was getting chilly, and I noticed the glass door to the balcony was open. The sweatshirt he’d worn at dinner was slung over a chair, and I put it on, then turned off his light. I felt like I should stay for a little while, anyway, so I sunk down into the comfy chair by the balcony and stared out at the night sky, which I couldn’t see for all the lights. I missed Hawaii, where I could see the stars every night. I hadn’t seen the stars since we’d been back in Seattle.

  I went to check on Eddy, but his breathing was slow and deep. Maybe he’d actually fallen asleep. I’d done the same thing when I had the stomach virus, slept on the floor of the bathroom all night.

  I stepped back into his room, reluctant to leave. Being there reminded me of when we shared a room, whispered secrets in the dark before finally falling asleep.

  Something skittered across the balcony. I stepped outside. A little rock hit my face. “Ow.”

  “Eddy?” A loud whisper came from below.

  I leaned over the railing without saying anything.

  Tony stepped out into the light and smiled up at me, waving. I knew I was in shadow, at least partial darkness, so he couldn’t see my face, my reaction to him. Which was good, because I realized this was an opportunity. A chance to show I could relax about my fears and paranoia.

  Better yet, it was a chance to see what Eddy did when he ran off with Tony.

  “You coming or what?” he asked.

  I hesitated only slightly, then waved back. “Yeah. Be right down.”

  I put on a pair of Eddy’s Nikes, then went out into the hallway. Everything seemed quiet as I made my way downstairs, but I took every corner slowly in case someone was still up. No one was.

  Then I stopped.

  Was that how Eddy snuck out? The front door?

  I turned back toward his room. There were trellises next to all the balconies. Maybe …

  I went back into Eddy’s room and out to the balcony, pausing before I stepped outside. Could I pull it off? Make Tony think I was Eddy?

  I pulled the hood up over my head and went outside.

  Tony was standing down below, arms crossed, tapping a foot. “Did you take a dump or what?”

  “Sorry.” I reached out a hand and grabbed the metal trellis. It was firm and didn’t move. I put one leg over the e
dge of the balcony, pulled myself over, and used it as a ladder, hoping the whole time it wouldn’t break and send me falling to the concrete below.

  When I was a few feet from the ground, I jumped.

  “Cool,” said Tony. “You should do that from now on instead of going out the front.”

  Seriously?

  Tony grinned. “Ready?”

  I forced myself to grin back. “Yeah.”

  He turned and jogged away from the front gate, over to the patch of trees at the edge of the property. I followed. When we got to the fence, he climbed up and over, then dropped to the ground on the other side. He turned and looked at me. “Need an invitation?”

  I shook my head and reached up for a handhold. I stuck my toe in a gap in the fence and pulled myself up with my arms. Then I lifted one of my legs over and managed to get to the top. I jumped down beside Tony.

  I was outside the fence. Unprotected. Or free. Depending on how you looked at it.

  I was undecided.

  Tony headed through the woods, obviously sure of where he was going. Unless I wanted to climb back over the fence, I had no choice but to follow him, trying not to trip over tree roots in the dark as I pretended I’d been there before. The woods ended fairly abruptly and we stepped out onto a deserted access road where a dark blue muscle car was parked.

  My dad had never been into old cars, not even the nice ones. With him, it was always the latest, the newest, the most innovative.

  And me? I knew nothing about old cars, but I could appreciate them. And this one was a beauty. I almost whistled, but caught myself. Maybe Eddy had seen this car before. If so, my acting like I’d never seen it before would be a dead giveaway.

  “What do you think?” said Tony. He patted the hood as he walked around the front to the driver’s side. “1969 Camaro.”

  Eddy hadn’t seen it yet. So I whistled. “She’s a beauty.” I suspected the answer would be no, but still I asked, “Yours?”

  Tony shook his head as he opened the door. “Neighbor’s.”

  I opened the door on my side. The smell of leather rushed out at me as I sat down. “Your neighbor lets you drive it?” I shut the door, and the sound was solid.

  Tony turned the key and the engine was loud. He revved it, making it even louder. “I wash it for him. One time he forgot he’d given me a key and gave me another. I kept one.”

  I turned and looked at him in the glow of the dashboard. “You took the car without asking?”

  He shook his head. “He’s out of town. He’ll never know.”

  I knew that I should get out of the car. I should get out of the car, climb back over the fence, and go to bed. I knew that I should.

  Instead, I buckled my seat belt as Tony pulled out onto the access road, which soon hit the main road. He braked at the stop sign, gunned the engine, and we flew out onto the road, heading for the bridge.

  He turned on the stereo, and Iron Maiden soon drowned out the revving engine. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out, letting the wind rush at my face.

  I was in a speeding car, possibly stolen, with a kid I hardly knew, no bodyguard in sight. I hadn’t even grabbed my cell phone when I left.

  I was on my own. Possibly heading into harm’s way.

  Remember, you’re Eddy.

  What would Eddy do? Eddy, who didn’t have my hang-ups, wasn’t afraid of everyone in the world?

  I grinned. And then I whooped out the window, as loud as I could, as we flew all the way over the bridge.

  Tony slapped the steering wheel and laughed at me.

  After a second, I laughed, too.

  I realized that if I wasn’t so jealous of Tony, I would like to have him as a friend. Eddy certainly did. And, for the moment at least, Eddy was who I was.

  I settled back into the seat, ready for the night to begin.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  The traffic was light at that time of night. I noticed Tony stayed just at the speed limit or barely above, apparently not wanting to attract any unwanted attention. I suppose anyone could drive like that, but it made me wonder how sure he was about his neighbor not noticing the car was gone. For whatever reason, I was glad he wasn’t speeding or driving crazy. It was the first time I’d been in a car driven by someone other than my dad or one of our staff.

  Maybe it was due to me trying to think like Eddy, but instead of being worried or stressed about it, I felt excited. Free.

  After about a half hour of driving, I recognized where we were. My heart started to pound as we turned onto the street where our mansion was. Our old house. The high walls of our security fence loomed in the dark, lit up like a 7-Eleven. Had Eddy brought Tony here before?

  Obviously.

  Tony slowed and pulled over to the side, in front of another walled-in residence. He unbuckled his seat belt and started to get out, then stopped and looked at me. “You coming?”

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  He said, “I figured it’s better to park down here, instead of right in front.” He quietly shut his door.

  I hesitated before unbuckling my seat belt, then got out and shut my door, letting him lead the way.

  My heart was pounding even harder. I didn’t know whether there were security guards or not. Even if there weren’t, the alarms had to be on and I didn’t have a code for them.

  When we’d gotten back to Seattle, we hadn’t even left the house. And then we’d moved and there’d been no reason for me to learn the security codes.

  We headed down the sidewalk. It had started to drizzle, so we stayed under the trees, partially to stay dry but also to stay a bit hidden from anyone who might be looking out.

  “The street’s so empty,” I said, my voice loud in the quiet night.

  “It is night.”

  I didn’t reply. I’d been talking about the last time I had been there, all the chaos with the news trucks and satellite dishes. But apparently, Eddy had been there since then. I needed to start being way more careful about what I said if I wanted him to think I was my brother.

  We reached the front gate.

  There was a black box.

  Tony looked at me and raised his eyebrows. When I didn’t do anything, he said, “Cool, my turn at last.” He flipped up the cover, punched in a code, and the gate slowly opened.

  My knees threatened to buckle.

  Eddy had given him the code? How many times had they been there?

  “Hurry up,” he said, as the thing seemed to take forever. As soon as the gate opened wide enough, he slipped inside and I followed. The guard building was dark and empty. Why weren’t there any guards?

  Once we were both inside, Tony went to the black box on the inside of the gate and punched the code to close it.

  There we were, in the courtyard.

  All was quiet.

  I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding.

  Despite all the lights being on outside, the house was dark. Lonely. I didn’t want to go in. I didn’t want to be there without the rest of my family, because it wouldn’t be home. At least, I didn’t want to walk in there and realize it by myself.

  Tony said, “I still can’t believe you got away with that.”

  “With what?”

  He pointed at the empty guard building. “Messing up their schedule, so nobody was on tonight. Don’t you think they’ll catch on eventually?”

  I shrugged, but didn’t say anything. Again, I wondered just how many times Eddy had been here like this.

  With confidence, Tony began striding like he knew exactly where he was headed. Like he’d been here a thousand times before.

  I jogged to catch up with him.

  We walked across the courtyard and circle drive, then hit the cobblestone walkway that led to the backyard. The lights in the backyard were off, but the pool lights were on, revealing the steam coming off the surface.

  But Tony kept going, toward the area I’d only seen from my window, the new addition that seemed made all of concrete.
>
  And I froze when I saw what it was.

  A skateboard park. With ramps and tunnels. Everything a skateboarder would want.

  My face got hot and my stomach clenched.

  When I had been stuck underground—when my whole family had been stuck underground—my brother had gotten his own skateboard park in the backyard. When? Before he and Gram went to Hawaii? When they came back to Seattle now and then?

  I tried to reason it out, tried to stop being angry.

  Eddy had no idea we were still alive. Maybe the skateboard park had been something to make a grieving boy try to get his mind off the loss of his entire family.

  I took a deep breath.

  Tony said, “This is so sick. I still can’t believe you had this in your backyard.”

  “Yeah,” I said, feeling a bit sick myself. I couldn’t skateboard. Well, other than the sad little skills I’d had when I was eight. Which were nowhere close to what Eddy could do on a skateboard. And there was no way I’d be able to convince anyone that I was my twin.

  The rain continued to fall as I stood there, motionless.

  Tony turned back to me. “Do you really want to do this?”

  “Huh?” I asked. Did he know? Was he messing with me?

  Tony jerked a thumb over in the direction of the pool. “That thing is heated, right?”

  I nodded, unable to breathe, wondering if I was about to dodge one serious bullet.

  Tony unzipped his sweatshirt, dropped it on the ground, then peeled his shirt off and tossed that aside, too. He unbuckled his jeans and took them off, standing there in boxers. He grinned. “Last one in’s a douche bag.” He shoved his boxers to his ankles, stepped out of them, and sprinted to the pool, where he dove into the water, surfacing a moment later. He yelled, “You coming?”

  Relieved to not have to showcase my nonexistent skills on a skateboard, I scooped up all his clothes and jogged over to the pool. The drizzle on my face was chilly, and the warm water looked so inviting that I couldn’t resist. I tossed Tony’s clothes under a table, out of the rain. Then I stripped, threw my clothes under there, too, and dove in, staying under until I couldn’t breathe.

  I surfaced and gasped. Then I whooped.

  Heaven.