by Chloe Thomas
“That’s easy to say though. I’m not sure I’m even going to be able to walk home by myself again. God I sound so pathetic.”
“No you don’t. Look at me,” Chase uses his free hand to pull my chin upwards, “there’s nothing pathetic about you. Got it?” I mumble a yes. “Just take baby steps. If you don’t want to walk home alone again then don’t. Drive or get a taxi. Just take things at your own pace.” We sit in silence for a while, Chase’s hand still holding onto mine. It feels comforting and I eventually fall asleep.
When I wake, Levi and Noah have come further back in the plane and are sat close to me and Chase.
“Hey, we were just thinking about waking you up.” Chase says. “We’re about 20 minutes away from landing.”
“Really, how long have I been out for?” I ask surprised.
Noah chuckles, “about 6 hours.”
“When we land we’re gonna take you to hospital to get you checked out Belle. The guys back at the office have contacted your family and friends and let them know we’ve found you and you’re safe. We’ll call them again when we’re at the hospital so they can meet you there,” Levi states.
“Sure, thanks.” I feel Chase squeeze my hand helping me ease my nerves.
***
“Well Miss Rose, all in all things aren’t too bad. As I think Levi here has already told you, you have some broken bones but the knife wounds are healing well and the bruises are already fading. We’ll take some bloods to make sure there’s no infections setting in but you should recover fully physically,” the doctor states looking at me with sympathy.
I’ve been at the hospital for 30 minutes now during which time they’ve put me in a hospital gown and run a lot of tests. Chase and Levi have been hanging around and are sitting in my room with me now. They’ve called my best friend Naomi and my parents who are all apparently on route.
“You are a little underweight so you’ll need to keep your calorie intake up for a while and I’d like you to attend some therapy sessions to help with the mental aspect of trauma-”
“I don’t want to do therapy doctor. I’m not ready to talk about it in detail,” I interrupt.
“Belle, you should go.” Chase gently chastises. “They won’t force you to talk about anything you don’t want to but they can be there for you when you are ready.”
I don’t want to argue so I agree to take the number of a therapist and call them. I just leave out that I won’t be calling them for a long time. Once the doctor finishes he and Levi exit the room leaving me and Chase alone. I guess he’s going to disappear as soon as my family turn up. If I’m honest, I really don’t want him to go. I think I’m going to miss him.
“So I guess I’ll be off soon,” Chase states. “I’ve errr, written my number down for you, you know in case you need anything.” He hands me a piece of crumpled up paper. I’m about to reply when I hear screaming and Naomi followed by my parents run into the room, rushing towards me all whilst crying hysterically. Chase looks uncomfortable and stands to leave. In all the chaos I don’t get to say a proper goodbye to him but he turns back at the door and I mouth bye. It’s better than nothing, but not what he deserves after everything he’s done for me over the past week.
“We’ve been so worried about you,” my mum sputters out.
“We looked everywhere but it’s like you disappeared of the face of the planet!” Naomi all but cry’s out. “You’re so thin and bruised.”
I look at my dad and even he’s crying. He’s oddly quiet though, I guess it’s the shock of it all.
“Oh honey... I was. I was starting to think the worst,” my mother bursts into fall blown sobs and throws her arms around me. It physically hurts but I know she needs this.
“What happened?” My dad asks.
I explain I was taken walking home and that I must have been drugged. I also tell them I ended up being taken somewhere remote outside of the USA and was kept locked up until the guys found me. I leave out all the details of just how bad it was. I think they can work a lot of it out just by looking at me and I don’t think it would help if I described a blow by blow account. Not for them or me. They continue fussing over me for the next few hours, often bursting into sobs. Eventually the doctor comes in and tells me I can go home if I like as the trauma was a week or so ago so they don’t really need to monitor me. He gives me strict instructions to rest and make sure I keep eating little and often.
After some debate, it’s decided I’m going to stay at Naomi’s house. Nobody wanted me to go home alone and in fairness I’m not sure I’m ready for that. My parents wanted me back at theirs, but honestly I’m worried my mum will be a little suffocating. She’s distraught at what’s happened and although Naomi is upset she seems to be coping a little better with it all. Plus I can talk to Naomi if I want to. As kind and loving as my mum is, we don’t have the ‘tell each other everything’ kind of relationship. Also my parents house is two hours away and I feel like I need to return to some sort of normality. I need to be near my own stuff, my own house and in my own town, otherwise I’m scared I’ll never be able to go back again.
***
I’ve been at Naomi’s for a few days now. I’m not sure I appreciated how great everyday things like a shower, toilet and proper bed were before all this happened. That first shower, after I’d convinced my parents I was okay and they’d eventually left, was amazing. I think I spent about an hour in there in the end. I’ve slept like a log most days and eaten like a horse. My body is healing well physically but my head feels out of sorts. Certain things that never bothered me before seem to make me panic now. I guess I need to heed Chase’s comments about taking baby steps.
On the subject of Chase, I miss him. Like really miss him. I know we didn’t talk loads or whatever during the trek back but it’s like we connected on some deeper level. Jeeze that sounds cheesy. I’m grateful to all the guys of course but I don’t miss or constantly think about them like I have been with Chase.
Naomi’s been keeping me distracted, but I need to go back to my own place tomorrow. I can’t hide out here forever and I need to have my own stuff around me. I haven’t messaged Chase. I’ve programmed his number into my phone but he said it was in case I needed him, and well, I don’t need him. I’m not sure if he’d want me to text him anyway or if it would just annoy him, I mean he never asked for my number. I have been thinking though that I’m not sure I actually thanked him or the guys for everything they did for me and I never said a proper goodbye either. I should message him just to say that shouldn’t I? It’s 9 in the evening now so I guess that’s still an okay time to text someone.
I start to type a new message but end up deleting it and re-writing it about 20 times. Even once I’ve typed something that doesn’t sound too shit I hesitate in pressing send. Another 15 minutes and I think fuck it and press the button. There that’s gone. I’ve done the right thing saying thanks and I can just forget about it now. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t respond, that wasn’t why I sent it. Something deep inside me says I’m lying to myself on that last part. That and the fact that half an hour later I realise I haven’t been paying attention to any of the film that’s playing on the TV. I’ve been watching my phone the whole time instead.
Chapter 4
Missing her
Chase
————————————
It’s been 4 days since we got back from Columbia. The US government is thrilled we’ve taken out Sanchez, though they seemed as surprised to hear about Arabella as we were to find her.
Leo is digging into her missing persons case to check there’s nothing suspicious going on. It was clear she had no idea why she was taken and to all intents and purposes she wasn’t involved in anything that could have led to that. There’s always a risk that someone around her is up to something dodgy mind and she’s paid the price. Not that I’ve mentioned this to her, but it seemed like she was targeted for whatever reason. Maybe Sanchez just liked the look of her or perhaps It’s something d
eeper. If it wasn’t random though then she could still be at risk. Leo’s bloody good at what he does so if there is anything to be found then he’ll uncover it.
I’m still pretty fucking pissed that someone could treat her like that. She was looking much healthier by the time we’d got back stateside, but she was still bruised and on the thin side when I left her. I haven’t seen or heard from her since the hospital. I guess that’s to be expected since we were ultimately just her rescuers but.. well... I dunno. I think I thought there might have been a friendship there at least. Perhaps I’m getting a hero complex. I gave her my number but she’s not contacted me. It’s almost like I miss her, but I don’t see how it can be that. I don’t do all that relationship bollox. I need to get fucking laid, that’ll cure me of thinking about her. It’s obviously been too long.
I check my phone and there’s a message in the group chat.
Dean 14.09: Drinks tonight anyone? Frankie's bar 8pm?
Perfect. There’ll be plenty of hot girls there.
***
“What’s up with you?!” Dean asks looking directly at me. We’ve been sat in a booth at Frankie's for half an hour now; Dean, Noah, Leo and Levi are all here and there’s plenty of cute girls walking around. Not that my fucking dicks noticed - It hasn’t even stirred. I’m nursing my second beer and apart from me everyone seems to be in good spirits. “I think I could find some more cheerful people at a fucking morgue.” Dean jokes.
“Dunno mate, maybe I’m just not feeling like drinking tonight.” Dean raises his eyebrows clearly calling bullshit. Who am I trying to kid. I’ve never turned down a night out.
“Thought you said you wanted to get laid?” Levi helpfully adds.
“Meh, I’m just not sure I’m in the mood.”
“Fucking hell. You need some viagra or something?” Levi smirks. I roll my eyes and flip him the middle finger.
“Nah it’s not viagra he needs, it’s a certain blonde damsel in distress...” Leo chirps In.
“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I’m genuinely surprised by his comment.
“Yeah right, it wasn’t obvious at all!” Leo gets off of his chair and starts thumping his chest and shouting “Me Tarzan, You Jane!” The guys are in hysterics and I find myself shaking my head at him trying to stop from laughing too.
“It wasn’t like that. She was scared, she needed someone to help her.” I protest.
“Fucking hell you still haven’t realised have you?!” Apparently Noah’s now also joined the conversation.
“Realised what?!” What are they talking about? She needed protection and comfort, I gave that to her, that’s all.
“Have you missed her?” Noah asks.
“No, why would I miss a girl?”
“So you’re telling me you haven’t thought about her every day?”
“Well.. not like that. I just...” At this point I stop talking. They’re all smirking at me and I know I’m just digging a bigger hole. They’re not going to listen.
“I’ve got her address if you wanted to go and see her, you know, to ‘check on her’,” Leo says as he makes inverted commas in the air.
“You’ve all got this wrong. Anyway I gave her my number, just in case she needed me or whatever, and she hasn’t used it so she’s probably fine.”
Levi slaps me on the back.“Oh buddy, you’re in so fucking deep. I’m gonna go get another round in,” and with that he wanders off heading towards the bar, chuckling to himself as he goes.
After a moment or two of everyone staring at me like I’ve grown two heads the conversation moves on, thank god.
Sometime later I feel my phone vibrate and pull it out of my pocket. There’s a text from an unknown number and I swear my heart rate picks up.
Unknown 21:17: Hi Chase, Hope you’re okay? In all the chaos at the hospital I don’t think I thanked you and the guys for everything. One word doesn’t feel like enough but know that I’ll be forever grateful to you all. Belle
I feel a surge of excitement reading Belle’s name. Shit, maybe the guys are right, maybe I am missing her. I save her number into my contacts and think about how to reply. I get as far as Hey and am stuck. Fucking hell what is wrong with me. I’ve gone fucking loopy. I’ve spoken to plenty of women in my life and fucked even more so why is texting Belle back so complicated?!
“It’s from Arabella isn’t it?”
“Huh” I look up and the guys are all staring at me grinning. “What are you talking about?”
“Well you’d know if you’d been paying attention but you zoned out as soon as your phone went off about ten minutes ago,” Dean laughs. Ten minutes? Fuck, I really have lost it.
“She just wanted to thank us that’s all.” I try to ignore the odd feeling in my chest and act nonchalant.
“So what did you say back?” Leo asks. I swear the lads are worse than a bunch of old ladies when it comes to fucking gossiping. Why do they even care?
“I haven’t. Not that it’s anything to do with you.”
“Ooh touchy!”
“Fuck me mate, have you never texted a girl before.” Levi’s joining in now, also laughing.
“Shut up. I fuck them not text them.” I think I add the last part to convince myself that I am still a man. Girls fuss over this texting bollox, not guys.
“I’m going for a piss. Be back in a bit.” I excuse myself and head straight outside for some air. It’s getting fucking embarrassing in there.
The cool night air hits me as soon as I open the bar door. I head round the side of the building away from the noise and lean up against a wall. I pull my phone back out and text Belle back. I don’t think this time. Just type what comes to mind and press send before I can chicken out like the pussy I’m apparently turning into.
21.39: Hey, I’m good thanks. How’ve you been? You recovering alright? Don’t worry about it, you don’t need to thank us.
I’m still outside when my phone vibrates again with another text.
Arabella 21.42: I’m okay all things considered. I’ve been staying at Naomi’s but I’m going back home tomorrow.
For some reason her text makes me worry.
21.44: I take it you’ve not been by yourself since you’ve got back? You gonna be okay at yours?
Arabella 21:47: Nope. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous at my first night alone. But I have to get back to normality.
21.49: I can come round for a bit if you like? It might help you feel safe.
I type the message and send it before my brain can even comprehend what I’m saying. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t staring at my phone hoping she replies with a yes though. Her response isn’t immediate but a few minutes later I see a message flash up on the screen.
Arabella 21.59: If you want to then sure. Don’t worry if you have other things to do though.
22.02: Text me your address. I’ll come by around 6 and we can order pizza.
It wouldn’t have mattered if I did have things to do. I know I’d have cancelled them. If Arabella needs me then that’s where I’ll be. If I’m being totally honest about it I’m glad I get to see her again. The guys are definitely right, I have missed her. It’s not a feeling I’m accustomed to. I can’t help but walk back in the bar with a smile on my face.
***
Today’s dragged. I’ve been at the office going through the intelligence for our next op. Our target is a terrorist group leader who’s gone underground. We need to find and eliminate him. We’ve spent hours trawling through his background, his finances, known associates etc and we’ve not made any headway. Its now 5 and we’re all about done for the day. None of us cope well in the office. The firm is Noah’s business and he employed us lot as field operatives more than anything else. It’s often more productive for us to go through the intelligence files together though so we do the odd office day. My heads fried as I walk out past all the security points and towards my truck. The office is in a sleek modern downtown building and has b
een fitted with every security precaution you could imagine. I swear it’s tighter than Fort Knox.
I drive back to my house thinking about seeing Arabella. Actually that thought hasn’t been far from my mind all day. I pull into my drive and head inside. I did tidy up a little this morning but my place is definitely more of a bachelor pad than a home. It’s nice enough, modern, open plan and has a deck out the back, but it’s not homely. I’ve never really had any interest in making it that way either.
I take a quick shower and once done pull on some dark jeans and a decent t-shirt. I find myself looking in the mirror checking how I look. Since when have I given a fuck about that? I think my cocks gonna shrivel up and make way for a vagina after the way I’ve been acting lately. Belle texted me her address earlier so I plug that into my phone and head back out to my truck. As I back out of the drive I can’t help but feel a little bit of excitement. I need to get this shit in check before I reach her place.
***
It’s 6 pm on the dot and I’m walking towards Belle’s front door. I have to admit, I’m pleased she lives in a nice neighbourhood and the house itself looks like it’s well maintained. It’s one story but has a garage attached and a small front yard that someone’s obviously been looking after whilst she was missing. I knock and wait, for some reason feeling nervous. When the door opens I’m momentarily stunned. In the 5 days I’ve not seen her, Arabella has filled out a little and her bruises have gone. Her hair is washed and brushed and hangs down beside her face in soft curls. She has a touch of makeup on and is wearing her own clothes which hug her curves. She looks stunning. I knew she was beautiful even wearing my t-shirt while covered in dirt and bruises, but this is something else. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more beautiful woman.
