Witch is How The Dice Fell

by Adele Abbott

  “No, I don’t.” I threw the Hula3899 across the room. “You’re nothing more than a con artist.” I started for the door.

  “What about my money?”

  “You’ll get it.”

  “By the way, Jill, what happened to the sign?”

  I couldn’t believe I’d allowed it to happen again. As soon as he’d issued the challenge, I should have realised what he was up to. What was I going to tell Jack? I’d promised him that I’d win our money back, and now we were even deeper in the hole.

  Oh bum!

  ***

  “I thought you weren’t going to make it,” Jack said when I arrived at Ever. “Did you win our money back?”

  “I—err—”

  “Hi, Jill!” Amber was hurrying towards us; Pearl and Aunt Lucy were a few yards behind her.

  Phew! Saved by the bell. “Hi, everyone.”

  “Hey, you lot!” Kathy, Peter and the kids arrived from the other direction.

  We were all chatting away happily, and I thought I’d got away with having to tell Jack the bad news about the hula hoop contest when he appeared at my side. There was no escape, I would have to come clean and confess.

  “Jack, about the—”

  “I think I should go and thank your grandmother before the parade starts.”

  “What? Why?”

  “For all the work she’s put into this. Just look at the crowd. I would never have been able to pull off something like this.”

  “But we’ll miss the parade.”

  “We’ve got ten minutes. Come on.” He led the way into Ever, which was manned by a skeleton staff of just two.

  “Is my grandmother in?”

  The Everette nodded and pointed to her office. I knocked once.

  “Come!”

  She was at her desk, sucking on a lemon.

  “Hi, Grandma.”

  “Who’s your friend?”

  “You know who he is. It’s Jack.”

  “Oh, yes. I remember him now.”

  “He wants to have a quick word.”

  She took another suck at the lemon. “Go on, then. What is it? I’m a busy woman.”

  Jack stepped forward nervously, and spent the next five minutes thanking Grandma for all the work she’d put into today’s event.

  “Is that it?” She took a bite of the lemon skin.

  “Err, yes.”

  “Right. You may leave now.” She dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

  We both turned to go.

  “Jill, wait here a moment.”

  “I’ll see you outside, Jill.” Jack made a bolt for the door—the coward.

  “What is it, Grandma? The parade will start soon.”

  “This will only take a minute. Do you remember you promised to do me a favour, in return for my help with today’s events?”

  “Yes, but I—err—”

  “Good. You’ll just have time to fulfil your part of the bargain before the parade starts.”

  “What do I have to do?” I glanced at her feet, and was relieved to see she had her shoes on.

  “Over there.” She pointed to a small pan on a mini-hob. In it was a yellowish liquid, bubbling to the boil.

  “You don’t expect me to drink that stuff, do you?”

  “Of course not. Why would I ask you to drink wax?”

  What a relief. “What do you want me to do with it, then?”

  “Look underneath the table, and you’ll find a candle mould.”

  “Got it.”

  “Good. Pour the wax into the mould, and don’t spill any.”

  “Okay.” I lifted the pan from the hob and began to pour.

  “Be careful!”

  “Sorry, I only splashed a little.” I put the empty pan back on the hob. “Is that it?”

  “Yes, you can go now.”

  Phew! That was far less painful than I’d expected it to be.

  ***

  The parade was even more spectacular than the ones that Grandma had organised previously.

  At its head was a troupe of clowns. Thankfully, these were of the two-eyed, two-legged variety. It was only when I spotted Sneezy and Breezy that I realised it was the clowns from the school.

  I managed to grab a quick word with Breezy as they passed by.

  “Hi, Jill.”

  “How come you got involved today?”

  “The organiser asked if we’d like to take part. We figured it would be good publicity for the school.”

  Next in line was the Everette Steel Band, led by Julie, and sounding even better than the last time I’d heard them.

  “I like their yellow uniforms,” Jack said.

  “If I were you, I wouldn’t mention the yellow to any of them.”

  Next came the jugglers who were all juggling bowling pins. Behind them, were the acrobats, and although there was no doubt they were talented, I couldn’t help but feel it was a case of: seen one acrobat, seen them all.

  “What’s that awful sound?” Amber put her hands over her ears.

  Everyone was looking around, trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a terrible racket.

  “It’s the Normals!” Jack pointed.

  Sure enough, behind the acrobats, were Norm and Naomi, playing their alphorns.

  “I might have known.” I cringed.

  “It’s clever how they’ve adapted those wheelbarrows to support the horns,” Jack commented.

  Norm managed a quick wave on his way past.

  Behind the Normals, at the rear of the parade, was the marching band who proved as popular as ever.

  Once the parade had finished, we moved onto the main event of the day: The giant ten pin bowling. Everyone who wanted to take part was allowed a single go. The twins were useless, and both managed to knock over only one pin. Aunt Lucy managed four, and I did a little better with six. Needless to say, Jack and Peter were as competitive as ever, and they ended up tied for the lead on nine pins each.

  “It looks like we’re going to be joint winners,” Jack patted Peter on the back as the competition was drawing to a close.

  “What about Lizzy?” I said. “She hasn’t had a turn yet.”

  “The ball is too big for her.” Mikey, who had managed to score a respectable seven, scoffed at the idea.

  “No, it isn’t. Would you like a go, Lizzie?”

  “I don’t think I can do it, Auntie Jill.”

  “Of course you can. Come on.”

  She stood behind the giant soft bowling ball, and gave it a gentle push.

  “That’s rubbish!” Mikey laughed.

  But then, as if by magic, the ball picked up pace and hit the pins in the sweet spot.

  “Strike!” Kathy yelled. “Well done, pumpkin!”

  Jack shot me an accusatory look, but I just shrugged.

  Snigger!

  ***

  When the day’s events finally came to an end, I told Jack that I’d meet him back at the house. Before I headed home, I wanted to have a word with Amber and Pearl. I had to tell them what I’d learned about Belladonna.

  “I’ve really enjoyed myself,” Aunt Lucy caught me as I was on my way to speak to the twins.

  “I’m pleased you came over. It seems to have been a great success.”

  “Credit where credit is due. Your grandmother certainly knows how to organise this kind of event.”

  “And the price I had to pay wasn’t too bad.”

  “She didn’t actually charge you for doing this, did she?”

  “Not cash, but she did ask me to do her a favour in return. I was expecting something terrible, but as it turned out, it wasn’t too awful. She just wanted me to pour some wax into a candle mould.”

  “Oh dear.” The colour seemed to drain from Aunt Lucy’s face.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She looked as though she was about to be sick.

  “Are you sure? You’ve turned a strange colour.”

  “It’s just that your grandmother has always
had this theory that the best kind of candles are those made from—err—” She hesitated. “But, like I said, I’m sure it’s not that.”

  “From what, Aunt Lucy?”

  “From earwax. She keeps it for decades until she has enough to make one.” Aunt Lucy took me by the arm. “Jill, are you okay?”

  ***

  When I arrived home, I was still feeling a little queasy. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get the image of Grandma’s earwax candle out of my head. After that ghastly revelation, I hadn’t been able to face speaking to the twins. I’d have to tell them about Belladonna another day.

  Jack’s car was on the driveway, but there was no sign of him anywhere in the house. Where could he have gone?

  When I looked out of the front window, I had my answer. Moments later, I was standing next to the tree in the Normals’ front garden.

  “You’re looking really wood, Jack.” I laughed.

  “Shush! I’m supposed to be undercover.”

  “Are you working for special branch?”

  “This isn’t funny.”

  “From where I’m standing, I’d say it was treelarious.”

  “You never told me what happened with the hula hoop contest.”

  “I—err—, I should go and make a start on dinner.”

  “Jill! What about the hula hoop money?”

  “Sorry, I can’t hear you. See you later.”

  As I walked up our driveway, someone shouted.

  “Hey! I have a bone to pick with you!”

  I looked around to find Bruiser standing there.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Don’t come the innocent. I know it was you who got me thrown out of Clown.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I assumed you’d been taken to the cat rehoming centre.”

  “My two-leggeds would never do that to me. They’ve said I can live with them in their house.”

  Oh bum!

  More mystery and magic await Jill Maxwell in the next book:

  Witch Is How The Biscuits Disappeared

  (Witch P.I. Mysteries #31)

  ALSO FROM ADELE ABBOTT:

  Whoops! Our New Flatmate Is A Human

  Susan Hall Investigates Book #1

  Take a shy werewolf, a wizard who fancies himself as a ladies’ man, and a vampire dying for her first taste of human blood. Then add a human for good measure.

  Web site: AdeleAbbott.com

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