Monster Hunter Legion

by Larry Correia

  He had never talked about the actual act before. I hadn’t known that it had been Lucinda who had done the actual dirty work. I’d managed to kill almost everyone else involved, but she’d managed to get away. Copper Lake had proved she would continue to be a thorn in our side. “She’s evil. She helped murder half a town in Michigan last winter. Next time we run into her, she’s dead. I promise.”

  “You know the worst part . . .” he sniffed. “After they beat the hell out of me, but before they took my fingers off, she asked me for my autograph. I thought she was just a kid. I thought, what’s someone like her doing here? Wanted me to sign a CD, believe it or not. Said she was a big fan.”

  “Did you?”

  “I was too traumatized not to. I bet she just sold it on eBay.” Mosh laughed hard, then wiped his eyes. “Look at this dump! This is my life now. As soon as I make a dime somebody else sues me for it, and all I can do is say yes, you’re right, no contest, Your Honor, because if I don’t, if I tell the truth, then the MCB shoots me. You don’t know what it’s like. I had everything! Nice house, nice cars, beautiful women. Everything.”

  “So they took your Ferrari—”

  “It was an Aston Martin!” he corrected me quickly. “It was a Vanquish and it was sweet.”

  “And you can be a big crybaby about it and drink yourself to an early death or you can cowboy up and move the hell on.”

  “Up yours . . . Move on, doing what? You trying to recruit me again?”

  I shrugged. “Why not? It’s important work. You know what’s really out there now.”

  “I wish I didn’t.”

  “If wishing worked, you’d still have your Aston.”

  Mosh picked up the remains of the broken guitar. “I’m not like you, Owen.”

  “No, you’re not. First off, you’re better looking. But really, Dad taught you the same things he taught me. Hell, Mosh, my current teammates were a high-school teacher and a stripper. Growing up in Pitt family boot camp makes you Chuck Norris in comparison.” That was a complete lie, since Holly was the hardest mortal human I knew and Trip was as reliable as the sunrise, but I was trying to build my brother up, not tell him that my teammates would eat him for breakfast.

  “You were the tough one, not me.”

  Now it was my turn to laugh. “I’m the one that fell into line and did exactly what Dad told me to do. You’re the one that had the guts to do your own thing. That makes you brave. I didn’t stop listening to him until after you’d told him to get lost and followed your own dream. Standing up to Dad? Screw fighting monsters. That’s tough.”

  Anger temporarily spent, Mosh seemed deflated. He returned to the couch. “It’s been one hell of a year.”

  “I can’t argue with that.” And now here comes the hard part. “Speaking of Dad . . .”

  He knew the basics about Dad’s letter and his cryptic warnings, but not the specifics. Mosh was suddenly suspicious. “What? Is it that thing in his head?”

  “Sort of. The symbol he warned me to watch out for. I found it tonight.” I told him briefly about the containment chamber, but didn’t give too many details. If he was stupid enough to haphazardly mention the existence of monsters in front of some random bimbos, talking about the Scary Zone was sure to put him on Agent Franks’ to-do list in no time. I had no idea how many witnesses Franks had actually murdered, or if his epic intimidation skills usually did the job, but I had no doubt if Mosh kept talking about monsters, one morning he would accidentally cut his own head off while shaving.

  “So what does this mean? Is Dad going to just . . . croak?” He focused on a stain on the carpet and randomly rubbed at it with his boot. “Why does this have to be our family?”

  I wish I knew. “It’s way bigger than us. I’ve got no choice. I have to find out.”

  “He’ll die.”

  “I know, but if I don’t, and something he knows could mean the difference between winning the apocalypse or not, what am I supposed to do? If I don’t do anything, everyone dies. Does Dad seem like the kind of guy to exaggerate about it being the end of the world?”

  He looked up from the stain. “You’re supposed to be the Chosen One. You’ve done everything they wanted. Can’t you cut a deal with them?”

  “I don’t even know who them is.”

  “Find out then!” Mosh’s rage came back with a vengeance. “Find out, tell them you’ll kill whoever this new guy is, but they have to leave us alone! It’s all about you, but it’s everyone around you that suffers. Me, now Dad, even your wife—Yeah, I heard some of your people talking after your buddy Sam’s funeral. Even Julie, she’s got some kind of evil curse on her.”

  I lowered my head. “It’s not like—”

  “Fuck you, Chosen One. It’s all about you, but it was those poor orcs that got their village burned down and their kids murdered.”

  He was right. Didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to hear it. I got up. “We’re done.”

  “Run away then, hero.” Mosh stood up too. “You’re just going to let Dad die for you, too.”

  “I’ll do what I have to.”

  “You always say that. That’s so simple when it’s everybody else doing the suffering. You get to save the day but ruin everyone around you. You’re cursed as bad as your wife. Maybe when she dies because of you, you’ll understand how the rest of us—”

  I punched him square in the mouth.

  Mosh caught the edge of the coffee table, took out the remaining bottles, tripped and landed on his butt. I stood over him, fists clenched. He started to get up. “Don’t . . .” He saw the look on my face and knew he’d pushed the last wrong button. “Just don’t.”

  My brother wiped the blood from his split lip with the back of his hand. “Get out.”

  The sack of guns and armor went over one shoulder. At the door, I took one last look at my brother, sitting on the floor of a ratty hotel room. Cheeks burning, hand stinging, I made it into the hall.

  That hadn’t gone well at all.

  CHAPTER 10

  The mood back at the Last Dragon was considerably brighter than at Mosh’s place. The first thing I heard when the elevator opened on my floor was dozens of voices, awful drunken singing, and loud music.

  Is that . . . polka? Sure enough, somebody had put on polka music to celebrate Grimm Berlin’s victory. Lindemann’s team was in the hall, each of them holding a gigantic beer stein, singing badly in German, while two athletic young women that I was fairly certain weren’t Hunters danced around in full-on Oktoberfest lederhosen outfits.

  Hugo, the Hunter that had finished off the giant spider, saw me, slapped me on the back, handed me a plate full of chopped sausages speared with toothpicks, then shouted assist! The other fifty or so people packing the hallway did so too. Apparently news of MHI’s semi-useless gun run on the gas station had spread.

  Lindemann’s team was flush with cash from their big win. The various other Hunters packing the halls may have been disgruntled about losing, but the Germans had bought the booze, so everyone was happy. The bratwurst was actually pretty darn tasty, and I hadn’t eaten since lunch. After a few seconds everybody went back to singing and ogling the dancing girls, so I was able to make my escape.

  Apparently most of the Hunters attending the conference had been concentrated onto a few floors of the hotel, and there appeared to be half a dozen room parties going on. Doors open, groups of Hunters inside, some parties louder than others, ranging from drinking games—Green seemed to be holding his own against a big Russian—to some old cranky bastards playing poker. There were a lot of strangers present, and many of them were really good-looking women.

  The first other MHI Hunter I spotted was Holly Newcastle. I almost didn’t recognize her, since she’d done her hair and makeup and put on an outfit that was a lot tighter and more revealing than the body armor I was used to. Since she was almost like a sister to me, it was easy to forget that Holly was smoking hot. “Z! You’re back.”

  I had to lean in to hear
her over the noise. My career had left me with a bit of hearing damage. “Who are all these other people?”

  “The babes?” She grinned. “I called some of the girls that I used to work with.” I’d almost forgotten that this was Holly’s hometown. “I told them that there was a party with a bunch of attractive, buff, and recently filthy rich German guys at it, which explains the Oktoberfest outfits. But they brought a few friends, who brought a few friends. You know how it goes . . . Say what you will about Hunters, but they do know how to have a good time.”

  Constant fear of imminent death will do that, I suppose. Cooper wandered past, chatting up a cute girl in a UNLV T-shirt, making up a story about the bruises on his face he’d picked up from Ultimate Lawyer, and when he saw me and Holly he gave us a thumbs-up and a goofy smile. It just wouldn’t be a gathering of Hunters without hedonism and bad decision-making. “Where is everybody?” I asked. Holly jerked her head toward Earl’s room at the end of the hall. “And why are you all dressed up?”

  She smirked. “You realize this is our first night off in weeks? We’re in sin city. I’ve lived here, worked here, but I’ve never been here and wealthy before.” That was true enough. Hunting was a very lucrative business when done correctly. “I’m going to see how the other half lives. I’m going to gamble stupidly and not care, get comped fancy drinks with umbrellas in them, and meet handsome men with normal jobs. I’m going out. I’m going to have fun.”

  “Blowing up monsters is fun.”

  “You workaholics are all the same. Julie’s with Earl and some of the others, still talking business. Trip’s in heaven. He found a couple other kindred nerd spirits and they’re upstairs playing role-playing games. I tried to get him to come with me, but he’s too churchy. I think Vegas scares him. He might actually have fun or something. Milo’s doing something to the chopper. Us saving that cop was good PR. The conference management actually gave permission for Skippy to land on the helipad on the roof. He was really pumped. Said he’d never landed on a big glowing shiny building before. Where’d you go?”

  While she’d been talking I’d been eating the rest of the little bratwursts. I talked with my mouth full. “Hung out with Franks in a chemical-weapons dump. Wrestled a ghoul. Busy night. I’ll tell you about—”

  “Later, Z. After the drinks with tiny umbrellas and lots of blackjack.” Holly patted me on the shoulder and sauntered off.

  Earl’s door was blocked by the gigantic figure of Jason Lacoco, one of the only people present taller than me. He was simply standing there, thick arms folded across his chest, watching people with his one good eye. A woman approached and asked Lacoco something. He pulled out a tiny notebook, looked at it, confirmed she was on the list, stepped out of the way to let her pass, then went back to standing and glaring. Having been a bouncer myself, I recognized the stance. Lacoco was on guard duty.

  I hadn’t spoken with Lacoco since the buffet fight. The man was a convicted murderer and a thug. I had no idea what Earl Harbinger had seen in him, but I had to trust my boss’s instincts. Earl did have an eye for talent, me, despite my early mistakes, being a perfect example. I wasn’t looking forward to talking to Lacoco, especially since I was on such a roll with the whole interpersonal communication thing tonight, but I needed to report.

  “Jason,” I said to the giant. His misshapen head swiveled toward me. His shoulders were so big he didn’t seem to have a neck. His lips parted, showing his teeth, but he stopped whatever words he’d been about to say. This man hated me.

  He exhaled. “Harbinger’s expecting you.”

  “Okay . . . I’ve been wanting to talk . . .”

  “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

  “Listen, Lacoco. We’re both Hunters. We’re on the same side. What happened before—”

  He stepped out of the way and didn’t say another word.

  Well, at least we hadn’t hit each other. By tonight’s standards I’d call that a win. From the look in his real eye, I could tell that the two of us weren’t done yet. I went inside.

  Earl’s room was just as packed as some of the other rooms that were holding parties, but this was no party. Apparently this had become the official command center for all the Hunters Earl had deemed “all right.” Julie was in front, doing what she did best, coordinating, leading, and picking brains. Most of the MHI team leaders were present, as were several men and women that I recognized as management from some of the other companies. Lindemann was there, as was the large Pole from White Eagle, the woman from South Korea whose name I hadn’t gotten yet was off to one side speaking to the head of the Japanese contingent. There were at least twenty people crammed into the suite. A few of the smaller American companies were represented, but I didn’t see anybody from Paranormal Tactical. Good thing, because I’d simply hate to violate my restraining order.

  The cartoon map that we’d stuck to the wall earlier now had a lot more pins in it. The smoke detector had been pulled out of the wall and craftily disabled in a way so as to not set the rest of them off. Earl wasn’t the only smoker present. I swear, are there any Europeans who don’t smoke? The room was swimming in fumes. Luckily the balcony door was open or my asthma would have been killing me.

  Julie excused herself from the Australian boss when she saw me come in. I was sure glad to see her. “You’re back.” She gave me a hello kiss. “And you taste like bratwurst . . . Where have you been?”

  “I went to talk to Mosh.”

  “From what you said on the phone, I figured that was what you were doing.” Julie was truly fond of my brother and was genuinely concerned for his well-being. “How’d that go?”

  “Not good. I wound up slugging him in the mouth.”

  “Really, Owen?” Julie put her hands on her hips. “Really? You know tough love is just an expression, right?”

  I shrugged. “I’ll tell you all about it later.” Well, since she wouldn’t approve of my actions, nor did I like to bring up her condition, I’d tell her something. “Has everyone heard about the symbol I found?”

  Julie nodded. “As much as we could share without getting into all the complicated stuff.”

  “Appreciate it.” I had enough problems without all these strangers knowing about the odd things that I’d accomplished. As Stricken had said, there were blank spots in my file, and I wanted to keep it that way. “So what’s going on now?”

  She pointed at the map. “We’ve made a gentlemen’s agreement with about half the companies at the conference. We’re going to share more information, especially about anything suspicious relating to this pattern. Lee got volunteered to coordinate and set up a sort of information clearinghouse. I think maybe we’ve even laid the groundwork to actually work together in the future. When the next event occurs, we’re going to be ready to strike fast, anywhere in the world, and get some answers.”

  “Really?” That was good work for such a short amount of time. “Impressive.”

  There was a sudden bang as something hit the linoleum in the kitchenette, and then two men were shoving each other against the fridge. I recognized one from the company out of Tel Aviv, and he had a thin man with curly black hair in a headlock. “Isn’t that the dude from Cairo?” The two of them were forcefully separated by some of the other Hunters.

  “Damn it, Mustafa. Starting shit again? I warned you to be on your best behavior,” Earl roared from across the suite. “Jason! Toss his ass out.” Lacoco immediately came into the room, grabbed Mustafa by the belt, hoisted him off of the floor, and carried the sputtering Egyptian out into the hall.

  “Eh . . . Maybe impressive isn’t the best word.” Julie said. “We still need to get the bugs worked out.”

  Since Earl had gotten everyone’s attention anyway, he decided to address the entire room. “All right, Hunters. Today’s been an educational day for us all. We know we’re facing something big, but we’ll just kick its ass back to hell just like every other bunch of supernatural yay-hoos that have tried this sort of nonsense before. We�
�ve got a lot of work to do, but we’ve laid the foundation . . .” It was fascinating to see that even with a bunch of people that only knew Earl by reputation, he still somehow ended up being in charge. They were all listening intently and nodding along. Earl simply had that effect on Hunters. “But now I’m sick of y’all, so get the hell out of my room.” There was general laughter, and then some more after the translators caught up. “Klaus here won the lottery today, so the drinks are on him.” Lindemann did a little bow to the crowd. “No. Seriously. Beat it.”

  After the place had cleared out, I found Earl Harbinger back at the map. His whole manner had changed. When he had the crowd, he had been in leadership mode, confident, assured, even a little cocky. Now Earl seemed distracted and dour, with half his attention wandering back to the map. “Don’t fret over getting beat by Klaus. Trust me. Men like him were why World War II took so damned long to win. What’ve you got for me, Z?”

  I quickly gave him a rundown of the night’s events, the spider, and the empty containment unit. “Do you know what Decision Week is? I heard it mentioned a couple of times. I think the tank at Dugway was left over from it.”

  “Decision Week, huh? Cody around?” Earl looked to Julie.

  She shook her head. “He’s playing poker with some of the old-timers.”

  “That’s where I should be . . . loafing around with the retirees . . . Decision Week is ancient history. I know a bit about it. It was a weapons program that went wrong back during the war.”

  “Why’s it called Decision Week?”

  “That’s when the Manhattan project decided to go with atomic weapons instead of demons . . . Atom bombs are much safer. Desperate times called for desperate measures. They dabbled in all sorts of things, magic, transdimensional forces, fey, you name it, they fiddled with it there, until they had a few experiments get out of hand and lost a whole mess of scientists. MHI helped in the cleanup at Los Alamos. I was overseas at the time, so didn’t participate. Way before his time too, but that’s Cody’s team contract, and he still takes care of the mad-science-related problems. so has studied up on the details.”