Shain: Immortal Forsaken Series #6 (Paranormal Romance Novella)

by Verika Sloane

  “What do you think?” he murmured, looking down at her. “Who’s the sexy beast now?”

  Kimber barked her approval.

  Downstairs, she crawled in next to him on the sofa and rested her head on his lap while he read a novel.

  The next morning, he came downstairs and found her at the bay window, the place she’d often sat every morning, waiting for him to wake up.

  She intently watched the outside, wagging her tail. Content.

  It was beautiful. And devastating.

  Tears burning the back of his lids, Shain charged outside, and sank to his knees in the snow. He panted for breath, then—unable to control himself—let out a strangled roar of helplessness.

  Nine

  Night seven.

  He lay next to her on the living room floor, staring up at the ceiling, numbness closing in on him with deep, intense vigor.

  A folded piece of paper under the sofa caught his eye. Curious, he grabbed it.

  It was one of their notes, although he didn’t know how it could’ve gotten under there. He had noticed some things seemed haphazardly rearranged in the under-the-stairs closet. Kimber must’ve come across them when he wasn’t around, accidentally leaving one behind.

  Should he read them or would it deepen the torture?

  He went to the closet and retrieved the worn manila envelope.

  “Kimber.”

  White eyes with blue rims met his, tail wagging.

  “You found these, didn’t you? I don’t even know why I still have them.” He sat on the floor and leaned against the sofa with one knee up, pulling the notes out one by one.

  “This one is from you. It says ‘I’m the only one who smiles when it rains. The other shiyas whine. But they don’t know what I know. That the most beautiful things come out when it rains. You are one of those things. See you tonight.’”

  He cleared his throat, taking out another one, a smile cracking his mouth. “From me. Says, ‘We’ve had our fun. We need to stop. It’s dangerous. My family depends on me. If anyone found out, we’d be vilified. After tonight, no more.’”

  He chuckled, dropping the note on the floor. “Obviously, I was lying to myself. And to you. I tried to stop this. But that night you clung to me and wouldn’t let me go. That was the first time I’d ever cried. Did you know that? I went home and lost it. Because I’d lost my best friend. How long was I able to stay away? Three days before I begged you back?”

  He stared at her, and she looked away.

  With a sigh, he plucked another and read it. “You. One of the last ones, I think. Says, ‘The eldest shiya was awake when I came home. She scented you on me before I could shower. It’s getting harder…’”

  He sighed, retrieving another. “Damn. This one I can barely read. My hand was shaking when I wrote it. It says, ‘What have you done to me? Those parties I used to live for, I never attend. I don’t care another ally added another million to our accounts. A vampiress I’d been chasing for years was at my door. I could’ve had her. I don’t want her. You’re changing me…’”

  The life he’d lived before they met seemed like it happened in a past life. He’d grown up with wealth and opportunity. His parents had been strict but kind. The relationship with his brother amicable, but distant. Then he grew up, matured, and fed a nameless void by mastering the art of negotiation, becoming the life of the party, bedding any woman who liked what she saw. Yes, at the time he enjoyed it all, because it was all he thought he needed to feel whole.

  The night he met Kimber, his immediate rapture consumed him like fire consumed dry, dead land, pushing out everything else. He hadn’t trusted it, was in denial about it, knowing that falling for a shiya would rescind his life in the proverbial ivory tower.

  He didn’t understand, asked the gods to make him understand.

  Perhaps he never had to, just had to be in love with her.

  He read most of the notes out loud, to relive those days and share it with Kimber. Would the gods he still believed in curse them? She, forever a wolf? Him, unable to let her go? Together forever, yet eternally apart?

  Afterward, acutely disheartened, he went upstairs, feeling as though his grip on sanity was loosening. He wanted to tear the cabin apart, yell, throw things, set her free, then set it on fire. What kept him from losing it, he couldn’t fathom.

  Kimber followed him.

  He stopped on the stairs and looked down at her upturned face. “No. Stay down here on your warm spot in front of the fire.”

  She didn’t.

  He went in the room on the bed and she jumped on it next to him.

  By the gods, he was undone.

  “I can’t do this, Kimber. I can’t be with you like this. I have to let you go.”

  She whined, scooting closer to him, resting her snout on his forearm.

  The clouds moved across the sky, the sun in and out, fighting to light the earth.

  Shain had reached his breaking point.

  There was only one thing left to do.

  Desperate time, insanely desperate measures, he thought coming downstairs.

  After making sure Kimber was fed, he opened the front door to let her outside, but she hesitated. It was if she’d sensed something was off.

  She looked up at him, then outside, prancing her paws, but not moving forward.

  “Go on,” he encouraged.

  She gave a yip and backed up.

  “You have to go out. It’s been two days, Kimber.”

  She refused.

  Sighing, he left the door open, removing his shirt and accepting his decision. He sank to his haunches and stroked her back, asking himself for the tenth time if he could just be with her like this, a vampire and his shiya wolf, if having her spirit around him was enough.

  The answer remained finite. No.

  Not if he couldn’t hear her voice, see her smile, taste her kiss, feel her body next to his every night, dance with her, laugh with her…

  Selfish though it may be, he couldn’t do it.

  The anguish surging his blood, he grasped her head to look her in the eyes, those supernaturally gorgeous white eyes.

  “Even if you can’t understand my words, you’ll know what I’m saying. I know you will.” He swallowed. “I can’t live without you. I survived it once, somehow, but I’m not strong enough to do it again. I’ll beg the gods to make me a wolf in the next life. If that’s the only way we can be together, so be it. But I believe this is the only way for you to come back to me.” He touched his forehead to hers, whispering. “Please. Come back to me.”

  Forcing himself to let her go, he stood up and started walking out the door.

  She ran ahead of his path, blocking him, growling as if to warn him.

  The clouds moved over the sun briefly before letting its rays peek through.

  Kimber went wild, barking, charging at him.

  She knew what he was doing.

  But it wouldn’t stop him.

  Ten

  My mate...

  Our mate.

  With a whine, the wolf sat on all fours, resting her head on her paws, closing her eyes. She retreated within her mind, folding into the quiet place, urging her human forward.

  It was time.

  Kimber blinked her eyes open, her paws spreading into hands, her legs into arms, thick fur to smooth skin.

  Panting, dizzy, an intense shiver rippled from her toes to her fingertips. She slowly pushed to stand on her two feet, the bright light reflecting off the snow burning her pupils. She shielded the brightness with her hand.

  Shain’s naked back, fuzzy at first, became clear.

  So did his purpose.

  He walked on, shoulders hunched, head down.

  Panic honed her senses.

  “N-no.” Her voice refused to go above a croak. She collapsed on her hands and knees, stunned.

  He’d die.

  As soon as the sun had its way through the clouds, she was going to witness her love turn to ash and bone if she coul
dn’t stop him in time.

  Oh god, she must’ve been in shift too long, much too long, or else she’d be stronger. She forced herself to stand upright again.

  Shaking, her muscles adjusting, she gripped the doorjamb, and sucked in the freezing fresh air. Eyes filling with tears, she prayed she could call to him loud enough before it was too late.

  Summoning a broken breath, she screamed out with everything she had. “Shaaaaain!”

  He froze and spun around, wide eyed. “Kimber!”

  “Hide! Oh god, hide!”

  Shain sprinted for the protection of the nearest cluster of trees shadows, looking around, trapped, the sunlight breaking through too many spaces.

  She couldn’t wait; she started to walk to him, stumbling, then running. Sprinting.

  He opened his arms, disbelief in eyes. And love. So much love.

  A whimper parted her lips before she crashed into him with such force, he fell backward in the snow, just when the clouds shielded the brightest star’s unbeatable rays.

  Shain held one hand at the back of her head, the other around her ribs. “Oh, baby.”

  “What are you doing?” she begged, voice craggy. “Why do you want to die?”

  He sat up, bringing her with him. “I didn’t. But I thought I’d lost you.”

  Protected for now by the choppy clouds, she pulled back and grasped his face. “How could you? What were you thinking?” She flung her arms around him again, imagining if she hadn’t shifted in time, he would’ve been dead. Tears slipping from her eyes, she imagined the devastation if he had.

  He buried his face in her neck, his body giving a hard shiver. “I didn’t—I didn’t know what else to do.” Cradling her in his arms, he stood.

  While she clung to him, he took them back to the cabin and kicked the door closed. Gently, he set her down on her feet, but she didn’t let go, keeping her face in his shoulder, her arm around his neck, needing his masculine, virile scent to assure her he was alive.

  She trembled, the emotions she’d been unable to release while in wolf form pouring out at the same time, crashing into each other. “You have no idea how terrified I just was. Oh god, Shain.”

  He looked into her eyes, searching. “You came back to me.”

  “Don’t ever do that to me again! Ever! Ever.” Upset beyond words, she pushed him away, then threw her arms around him again.

  His response came out choked. “I won’t. I swear to the gods I won’t.”

  His palm smoothed up and down her back, calming her, but her heart continued hammer wildly in her breast.

  “You give me a lecture about giving up and then you do the same a thousand times worse?” she exclaimed.

  Shain jerked back, grasping her shoulders. “I didn’t know what else to do! You were in shift so long. I had to do something drastic, Kimber. To bring you back. I thought you were gone and I didn’t want to live without you. I asked myself a million times if we could be together as vampire and wolf, but I couldn’t!” He gently shook her. “I’m a selfish bastard. And I couldn’t.”

  It was then she saw the watery emotion in his own eyes. “How long was I gone?”

  “Eight, nine days, give or take.”

  Shit. Time could lose its measurement when in shift. While she’d been aware, she’d also been indifferent in shifting back with any haste, enjoying the mental break. It’d merely felt like a few hours. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

  He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry I had to go that far.”

  Emotions continuing to riot, she refused to imagine how close she and Shain had come to ending forever, or what her life would’ve been like trapped inside her wolf’s body. A violent shudder coursed through her.

  Her mind screamed; her wolf howled.

  A distraught sound burst before she kissed him in desperation.

  She ran her hands up and down his rippled torso, through his hair, leaning back as he yanked her tight against him.

  Shain’s hands were sensual and caressing where hers were rushed and groping.

  When he broke from her mouth and moved to her neck, an involuntary purr traveled from her chest to her throat. “Make love to me,” she whispered. In a haze, she ripped his jean’s button and forced the zipper down. “I need to feel you, Shain.”

  He groaned as she stroked the bottom of her palm along his hard shaft. “Are you sure? You’re okay?”

  She forced the jeans down and he stripped them away.

  Each went to their knees, facing each other, kissing with emotional abandon. Almost lost him. So close. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him down to the rug with her, legs open wide beneath him. He feathered his fingers over her sex, hissing when he found her wet with need. A whimper and a thrust of her hips told him her impatience.

  Shain set his hands on either side of her hips, a flash passed over his light blue eyes as he started to come down. A brush of his lips over hers made her crazed with passion. “My love,” she whined softly, growing restless. She rose up to hold on to him.

  “Shh. It’s okay, I’m here.” Slowly, he pushed inside her, feathering kisses along her jawline.

  She moaned in relief, hungrily thrusting her hips to meet his. “Yes, yes.”

  When she lay back, he went with her, gathering her in his arms. “I can’t live without you,” he uttered. He groaned, and sank his hips deeper, making her speechless. “You are my very breath, Kimber.”

  She whimpered at his words, and used her strength to force him on his back, driving her hips.

  He gritted his teeth and held her hips, trying to slow her, but unable to. “Kimber. Fuck…slow down…” The last two words were spoken drunkenly.

  A possessive growl erupted while she rode him hard. “You belong to me. My true mate.”

  His head came up, then fell, eyes rolling back, emitting a groan while he dug his fingers in her hips. She loved how she could make a strong, pürblood vampire submit, speechless between her thighs. Dropping her head back, thrusting her hips in reckless abandon, the heady scent of their lovemaking scoring her nose. Shain sat up and dove his mouth on her breast, sucking one, then the other, licking up between them.

  “Yes, baby. Ride me.” He gripped her butt while she moved up and down, the friction throbbing her clit, close to detonating sweet pleasure throughout her mind and body.

  Shain recognized the give-away shiver and raw sound from her throat.

  “Come for me,” he said, voice gravelly.

  Nothing could compare to the high enveloping her. She bent her back, and he guided her hips to his, her inner thighs slick with sweat. Lax, her back arched, she let Shain takeover while the orgasm teased its approach. Closing her eyes, flung into the sweet bliss, Kimber cried out as explosion within claimed her to another world. Through her daze, she heard Shain utter his love while he drove into her.

  Tears slipped from her lids. She was too speechless to say anything, boneless, and dominated by her lover’s powerful thrusts. He bent down for a kiss, pistoning his hips faster. “My shiya.”

  She crooked one arm around his neck, gazing into his eyes. “My vampire.”

  More thick tears fell as emotion replaced ecstasy. “How long will you love me?”

  Shain’s face contorted while he strived for breath, his teeth down. “Not long enough.”

  He cupped the back of her knee and thrusted slower, harder, and another climax inched its way through her body.

  “Don’t…ever…stop.”

  His sexy little chuckle made him sound impossibly godlike at that moment, before his smiled faded and he softly cursed.

  Seeing him like in that moment amazed her, her mate, a little vulnerable, in awe.

  She caressed the side of his face. “I love you, Shain Trevyn.”

  A guttural moan, then he kissed her lips and buried his face in the crook of her neck, a hard thrust, then another. She held him tight while he continually shuddered in her arms.

  After a moment, Shain brought a blanket over them, an
d moved to lay on his right side. She turned on to her left so they were face to face, tracing her fingertips on his face, kissing him, the rush ebbing away.

  They remained like that for a long time, touching and kissing, unable to stop, as if neither could believe they were truly together again.

  Despite fighting it, guilt made its presence known again, and even though an apology had already been expressed, she didn’t feel it was enough. “You have to know I didn’t do it on purpose,” she said quietly. “I wasn’t deliberately hurting you or playing some game by not shifting back. Please believe me, Shain.”

  He squeezed her hands in his. “What do you remember?”

  She sighed, searching her clouded memory. “Going for a run. You calling for me. Falling in the water. After that…the next thing I remember is last night. Being with you. Your voice. Sleeping next to you. I swear, it felt like it’d only been a few hours. My wolf must’ve overpowered me before that. She can be stronger than me, especially after a traumatic event. Self-preservation, I guess. Animal instinct to shield the vulnerable side. That was the longest I’ve ever been in wolf form to my knowledge. I must’ve been really out of it after the lake. Had I been in shift much longer…”

  “You could’ve stayed like that permanently.” At the question in her eyes, he added, “Zander told me. He unexpectedly arrived a couple days after it happened.”

  She flinched. Zander. She was supposed to leave with him for Louisiana. Obviously Shain knew that too by the hurt in his gaze. “Don’t be mad at him. I was so hurt. I didn’t think you’d ever forgive—”

  He grasped the back of her head. “I do. I have. A thousand times over, I forgive you. I don’t blame you for calling him. You had every right to leave because of how I was treating you. It wasn’t fair. I forgave, but the bitterness lingered, Kimber. It…will still be there a little longer, but that is something I have to work on, and I will, every day. And I swear to the gods I won’t take it out on you again.” With a hard swallow, he shook his head. “I’ll be better. I promise.”