Desire & Denial (Southern Boys Book 3)

by K. C. Wells

  Chaz’s eyes shone. “Our boy. I love that.”

  So did Jon. It made him feel good just saying it.

  He gave Kendis a hug, then stood by the door until they were out of sight. Jon closed it and stood in his hallway.

  I did not see that coming. Talk about being blindsided. Inviting Kendis to live with them was the natural solution, and Jon hoped his momma didn’t have any strong objections. Even Jon could see Kendis was not going back to Louisiana.

  Especially now.

  And there he was again, right back at the moment when two beautiful men told him they wanted him.

  Jon raised his eyes heavenward. “You think this is funny, don’tcha? This is Your idea of a joke, right? Not content with… parading those two in front of me, You had to go an’ give me feelings for them.”

  Somewhere, the Lord was laughing His Almighty Ass off.

  Then Jon remembered what he’d said. Looks like a shopping trip is in the cards. He walked into Chaz’s bedroom and gazed around, mentally assessing how much room there was, and how big a bed he could get in there. He figured a queen was doable. Now that he looked, there were various boxes in the room that could be removed, allowing more space for the pair of them. And if he was gonna buy a bed, he might as well go the whole hog and buy a new dresser too. Chaz’s closet wasn’t all that big, and they’d need more storage space.

  It’s gonna be a tight squeeze. He doubted the boys would mind that. Then his eyes were drawn to the nightstand, on which stood a very large bottle of lube and an empty condom wrapper.

  As if I didn’t know they were fuckin’. At least they’d tried to be quiet the first time. The second, Jon was pretty sure the whole neighborhood knew what was happening. Then he peered closer, and he had to smile. There were several toys on the nightstand too.

  What the fuck has he got there? Jon wandered over and peered at the objects. The dildo was long, thick, and veiny, done in a fleshy pink silicon, and just looking at it made him wince and his hole tighten. The cock ring was made of stretchy black plastic, and fuck, Jon got hard just imagining it tight around that long, thick dick Kendis had hidden in his sweats. When Jon saw the fleshlight with its little pink hole, he laughed out loud. Lord, we have the same one.

  As he turned to leave, his attention was caught by a pile of clean laundry sitting on a chair. What drew his eye was the white jock sitting on top. It looked like his. What the fuck? He walked over to it and picked it up. It was definitely his. Then he realized it was the one he’d been missing for a couple of weeks. What in the hell is Chaz doing with my jock?

  When Chaz got back, there were gonna be questions.

  Kendis climbed off Chaz’s bike and handed over his helmet, his heart heavy. He did not want to leave Chaz right then. Come to think of it, he didn’t want to leave Jon either. His stomach churned as he recalled Jon’s tears, the way he’d clung to them.

  Something goin’ on there. A damn sight more than learning they wanted him. Kendis had Jon’s promise that he would share with them, so he guessed they’d have to be patient.

  “That did not go the way I figured it would,” Chaz said quietly.

  Kendis stared at him. “What did you expect? We’d tell him how we felt, and he’d say, ‘Hey, where’s the lube? Let’s fuck’?

  Chaz burst out laughing. “You are fuckin’ adorable, you know that?” He glanced up and down the deserted street. “I wanna kiss you goodnight, but maybe that’s not such a good move.”

  Kendis smiled. “I’ll consider myself kissed. Now get back to Jon. An’ look after him? I get the feeling he’s a little fragile right now.”

  Chaz nodded. “Yeah, I know. I had the same thought.” He stilled, his eyes wide. “Oh Lord. I didn’t get you a present. I totally forgot.”

  Kendis chuckled. “You an’ Jon are gonna give me a home. I think that counts as a pretty big present.” When Chaz opened his mouth to protest, Kendis held up one hand. “If it means that much to you, I’m sure I can think of something you could get me. Okay?”

  Chaz sighed. “Okay. Will I see you tomorrow?”

  “Count on it. I’m back at the shop the day after, remember?” Kendis grinned. “Some of us have work to do.” Lord, he wanted to kiss Chaz so bad. “Go on home. I’ll call you later, okay?” And because he couldn’t stand the woeful look in those big brown eyes, visible in the glow from the streetlights, he added, “An’ it’ll be one of those conversations.”

  Chaz cackled. “I’ll have the lube handy. And maybe my fleshlight too.”

  Kendis pouted. “You had to say that, didn’t ya? Now I’m freakin’ jealous of a sex toy.” He reached for Chaz’s hand and squeezed it before turning around to walk toward the house. Behind him, he could hear Chaz laughing softly. By the time Kendis got to his front door, the sound of Chaz’s bike had died away completely.

  Inside the house was quiet. Kendis kicked off his shoes and hung up his jacket. He caught the low sound of the TV coming from the living room. She’s awake, then.

  Then he realized she was standing at the end of the hallway, her arms crossed, and wearing that look he knew so well.

  The one that said ‘Momma is pissed.’

  He swallowed. “Hey, Momma.”

  He swore her eyes could bore holes through solid rock. “Don’t you ‘Hey Momma’ me. Who was that boy who brought you home just now?”

  Aw fuck.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Okay, that wasn’t quite how he’d intended introducing Chaz into the conversation, but hey…

  “Get your butt in here. We need to talk.” Then she went into the living room.

  Like he had any choice but to follow her. By the time he stepped into the warm room, she was seated in her chair by the fire, the knitting pattern he’d bought her on the small table beside her.

  “You think you’ll like makin’ that, Momma?” As if that was gonna work.

  Her lips twitched. “Nice try. So…. Who was he?”

  Kendis sighed internally. “That was Chaz, Momma. He works at Rainbow Racers with Del—you know, the guy who helped me out with my car? Del is training Chaz to run the business.”

  Momma gazed at him thoughtfully. “Is he the friend you’ve been staying with?”

  There was no way he was going to lie to his momma. “Yes ma’am.” His heartbeat raced, and his hands grew clammy.

  “I see.” Momma looked him in the eye. “Somethin’ you wanna tell me?”

  What the hell? “I don’t understand.”

  Momma arched her eyebrows. “I got eyes, boy.” She put on her reading glasses and peered at the pattern. Except Kendis knew that was a ruse. She might look like she was giving that pattern some serious attention, but she could pounce in a heartbeat. And it wasn’t as if he could hide anything from her. Marcus always said she had eyes like a shit-house rat, and that included the pair in the back of her head.

  Kendis sighed. “He’s my boyfriend, Momma.”

  She peered at him over her glasses, and that was when he really started to worry. “Since when?”

  “A few weeks.”

  She narrowed her gaze. “So he’s the one you’ve been sneakin’ off to see, and lyin’ your ass off about, hmm?”

  Oh yeah. Momma was pissed.

  “He the reason you don’t wanna go home?”

  Kendis found a little of his courage. “Home means different things to you an’ me, Momma.”

  She stared at him. “Are you nitpicking with me?”

  “No, I’m being serious.” Now that he’d started, there was no way he was going to stop. “Home for you is Louisiana, with Elroy, all your friends and acquaintances, the church, and that whole life you had before I was even born.” He took a deep breath. “For me, home is where Chaz is.” If things worked out the way Kendis hoped.

  Her brow furrowed. “You hardly know him.”

  “I know enough to know I wanna know more.” He smiled. “If that makes any sense. Plus… Momma? I got me a place to live, so I can stay here.”
>
  She squinted at him. “With him?”

  All Kendis could do was nod.

  Momma pursed her lips. “Can’t say I approve.”

  Kendis blinked. “So what are you gonna do back in Louisiana when Marcus takes his girlfriend to his room?” He knew he was throwing Marcus under the bus, but she was going to have a fit anyway as soon as she saw how the land lay. And judging by the way her eyes widened, Kendis knew Marcus was in for it as soon as she laid eyes on him. It didn’t matter that she’d be staying in Elroy’s home—wherever Momma laid her head, that was her house.

  He sent his brother a silent apology.

  Momma tilted her head to one side. “Tell me about this Chaz. Does he have his own place?”

  “No, Momma. He shares a house with Del’s brother, Jon, who runs the bike shop with Del.” Suddenly it was important that she trust Jon. “Jon’s a good man, Momma. He gave Chaz a roof over his head when Chaz’s daddy beat him up and kicked him out.”

  Momma put her hand to her heart, her eyes wide. “Why did his daddy do that? What did Chaz do to deserve it?”

  Kendis snorted. “All he did, Momma, was be gay. That’s the plain truth. His daddy doesn’t like gay people, and that was all the reason he needed to beat the crap out of Chaz.”

  “And this Jon took him in?”

  Kendis nodded. “And when I told Jon and Chaz about your plans to move back to Louisiana, Jon didn’t hesitate. He says I can live with them. He also said that if you want to meet with him, or see where I’ll be living, that’s fine. He understands you might have concerns.” Kendis wasn’t going to mention the fact that he’d be sharing Chaz’s room—and his bed. If she pays Jon a visit, there’ll be no hiding it.

  He’d deal with that when—if—the time came.

  That appeared to mollify her a little. “Sounds like Jon is a sensible man. How old is he?”

  “In his thirties.” Then he realized Jon was a good deal closer in age to his momma than he was to Kendis. That might work in my favor if she ever does meet him.

  She nodded slowly. “It would be good for you to have someone around the place with some common sense and maturity.” She clasped her hands in her lap. “I’m not gonna lie, son. You’ve picked a hard row to hoe.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s hard enough to be black an’ living in this town.” She held up her hand defensively. “And before you tell me that things ain’t that bad, that it could be far worse, then let me remind you that you haven’t seen much of this town. I know some of the kids gave you a hard time at school, but you got through that. I know those thugs likely trashed your car because you’re black. But for you to be a person of color and gay, here of all places? People are not gonna be kind. Right now, you might just get stares or snide comments. But you go walking through this town with a white boy on your arm? Do you have any idea how bad it could get?”

  His heart ached. “No, Momma, I don’t. Yes, it could be every bit as bad as you think it will be. I know you’re fearful for me. But times are changin’. My generation? They just don’t give a shit.”

  Her eyes flashed. “You are still under my roof, so you watch your mouth, you hear me?”

  Fuck. “Yes, Momma. But… if I’m willing to give it a try…”

  Her hand was over her heart again. “What if it don’t work out? Between you and Chaz, I mean?”

  “Then it don’t work out!” Kendis fought to maintain his self-control, to be calm. “Is it wrong to believe it will all work out all right? Does that make me stupid?”

  Her face softened. “No, it makes you my beautiful, smart, optimistic son. I know I can’t be there for you all the time. I know you’ll make mistakes. But that’s part of life. As long as you know, there will always be a room for you in Louisiana. You will always be welcome there.”

  “And will my boyfriend be welcome there too?” He knew he was asking a lot, but he had to know if there was hope.

  Momma smiled. “You think I might get to meet him before I leave?” Her eyes sparkled. “I already know he hasn’t got two heads. I saw that much through the window.”

  Kendis returned her smile. “I’ll bring him, momma. I’d love to have you two meet each other.”

  “And about him bringin’ you home…” She brought her fingers to her lips. “Was that a motorcycle he was ridin’?”

  Oh Lord. “Yes, Momma.” He should’ve known she wouldn’t miss that. “But I always wear a helmet.”

  Dear God, her eyes were huge. “Always? How many times have you ridden that contraption?”

  “Enough to know Chaz wouldn’t ever put me in danger,” he said solemnly, his fingers crossed behind his back. His stomach growled, and he bit his lip. “Sorry about that.”

  Momma opened her eyes wide. “How can you be hungry again? You ate enough to choke a pig.”

  He grinned. “That was hours ago. I could do with a snack.”

  Momma laughed. “Then I guess I’d better feed you. While I still got the chance.” She peered at him. “So if I was to leave sooner than the end of January, I guess that would be okay. You’ll have somewhere to go.” She pressed her lips together. “At least I know where you’ll be when you tell me you’re staying out for the night.”

  Kendis let that one go. He knew there were some battles he was never gonna win.

  “If I was to go visit your uncle at New Year’s, would you stay with Chaz?”

  He stilled. “Was that something you were considering doing?”

  Momma nodded. “I already asked for four days over New Year’s. I put in the request weeks ago.” Her face tightened. “I guess I was thinking about home.”

  Kendis smiled. “I think that’s a great idea. I’ll go stay with Chaz.”

  “Any idea when you might be moving in with him?”

  “I haven’t given it much thought,” Kendis admitted. “I guess you an’ me will be packing together.” He took a deep breath. “So… you wanna see where I’ll be living?”

  She tapped her finger against her lips. “I guess I don’t have to. Not that it would make much difference. You’ve made up your mind anyhow. An’ what the eye don’t see, the heart can’t grieve over.” He breathed a little easier. “Although I might meet Jon, if I get the time.” Momma got up from her chair. “Let’s find you something to eat.”

  He followed her into the kitchen. There was no way he was going to mention Jon as anything else other than a roommate. He didn’t think she’d survive that kind of shock. Besides, there’s nothing to tell her, is there? Nothing’s happened.

  Yet.

  Jon lay awake in the darkness, cursing his brain that wouldn’t rest. His thoughts went briefly to Chaz on the other side of that wall. I wonder if he’s awake too. The thought crossed his mind to get up and find out for himself, but he shoved that aside. Let him sleep if he can.

  It had been obvious from the moment Chaz had stepped through the front door after taking Kendis home that he was preoccupied. So much so, that Jon changed his mind about confronting him. The jock can wait. Jon smiled. I wonder if he’ll notice that it’s gone from his room. Jon would have his fun another time.

  And speaking of fun… The following day promised to bring a measure of it. Jon had suggested to Chaz that seeing as Kendis would be working the rest of the week, it might be a good idea to spend the next morning shopping for a new bed. He assumed Kendis would want to be involved in the process too.

  Judging by Chaz’s smile, Jon had made things a little better.

  Jon breathed deeply, hoping to induce a calmer state more conducive to sleeping, but his mind went off on a tangent, and there he was, kneeling on the rug again, Kendis’s lips against his, soft as a whisper.

  Why couldn’t I kiss him back, the way I wanted to?

  Except he already knew the answer to that. Fear. Shock. Trepidation. Take your pick. But damn, Kendis had felt good in his arms. And when they’d held him, laying gentle kisses on his face and neck, stroking his cheeks, his head, his beard…
Recalling the feel of their hands on him sent the blood flowing, and it wasn’t long before he was as hard as iron.

  Great. Insomnia and a hard-on.

  Then he smiled. Shooting a load would help him sleep, just like it always did. He pulled open the nightstand drawer to remove the lube, and his fingers brushed against the smooth plastic surface of his fleshlight. Now there’s an idea. He pulled that out too. Something didn’t feel quite right, and he switched on the lamp.

  I forgot. I’ve got company.

  The teddy bear sat against the pillows on the other side of the bed. Jon gave a silent chuckle. At least I have someone to curl up with. He glanced at the fleshlight in his hand, and grinned as the idea formed in his head. Bear, I have a plan, an’ you’re not gonna like it.

  Jon fumbled in the drawer for the pair of nail scissors he knew was in there somewhere. When he located them, he grabbed the bear and upended it, its fuzzy ass facing him. Carefully he snipped a hole in the plush fabric, then removed a little of the soft foam that filled it. Jon eased the fleshlight into the bear, making sure it was a tight fit. Lord, the way it looked, that pink butt hole set in chocolate-colored fur… He turned the bear the right way around and patted its head.

  This is between you an’ me, okay, fuzzy face?

  Jon positioned the bear ass up on the bed, then squeezed lube into the little pink fleshy hole. He knelt behind the bear, slicking up his hard dick. Lord, the sight… his heavy cock in his hand, the bear waiting for him, ass tilted. This is so wrong. Not that that was going to stop him. He aimed the head of his cock at the hole and pressed slowly, sighing inwardly as he always did at the tightness that engulfed his dick. Fuck, that feels good.

  And one day, maybe sooner than he thought, he’d get to experience the real thing. Because that was now a very real possibility.

  Jon propped himself up on his arms, leaning over the bear, and leisurely moved his dick in and out of the fleshlight. Meeting resistance brought a whole new feel to it, and he quickened his pace, fucking it a little faster. Oh Lord, yes. He wrapped his arms around the bear and snapped his hips, ignoring the usual slurping sounds that came from the device. If anything, the bear muted them a little, which was no bad thing.