The Hemlock Girl

by C. L. Heckman

  I make sure the water hides all of my areas before answering. “Um, I feel cold. And, wondering how I’m going to get out of the water and get dressed without everyone staring. I don’t think I really thought this through.”

  “Oh, Hun. Skinny dipping is not something you think through. You’re only a teenager once, and your body is beautiful. Be proud of what you got.”

  Laurie starts to exit the water without even attempting to cover her areas. Gathering her clothes, she meanders over to the fire where she stands, her rear end illuminated by the rising moon. I glance to the guys, who have all developed a deer in headlights stare in her direction. Although now would be an opportune time to sneak out unnoticed, fear has frozen me. I glare at my clothes, a mere 10 feet off shore, but might as well be a football field away. Perhaps I can stay in the water forever.

  “I got you, Karissa,” Keith yells from the beach, holding a towel in his hands. “I’ll turn around, I promise.”

  I laugh under my breath at his chivalrous tendencies before slipping out of the water into the safety of the towel. “Thank you, friend,” I whisper. “I’d be lost without you.”

  He nods his head, “You’re welcome, my lady,” tipping an imaginary hat in my direction.

  I head over to the fire to warm up, gathering my strewn clothes on the way.

  Dakota clears a chair for me, before patting me on the back. “That was quite a show,” she winks as she leans in closer. “I think the person you wanted to see may have missed it, though. He’s been in the woods with Missy for quite a while.”

  Realizing that my little stunt had missed its point, defeat begins to creep into my head. I slip into my damp clothes under the safety of my towel. “I think I’m going to take off,” I tell the group. “I got a long day of work tomorrow.”

  “No!” they all beg. “Please stay just a little while longer. The guys are supposed to set some fireworks off. Please.”

  “I don’t know,” I whine.

  The girls stare at me with puppy dog eyes, their hands clasped together.

  “Fine, another hour and then I’m out of here.”

  The squeals from the girls pierce my ears. Annoyed by their sheer volume, I decide to take a break from the pool of estrogen I’m swimming in.

  “I’m going to go get a drink. I’ll be right back.”

  I walk toward the rec building pulling my wet hair out of my hoodie. Reaching for the door, I’m grabbed on the bicep.

  “Come here.”

  Adrenaline rushes through me until I realize it’s Jasper. I willingly follow behind him as he pulls me into the woods away from the rest of the group.

  “Jasper, what are you doing?”

  “We need to talk,” he declares as he pulls me behind a tree.

  “Here?” I wonder.

  “Well, I can’t do it in front of Missy. She hates you.”

  I roll my eyes. “Shocking!”

  Jasper chuckles and then forces his face to a more serious demeanor. “What is going on with you and Paul? You guys like dating or something? He said you hooked up.”

  I notice a bit of jealousy in his voice. “No, Jasper, we are definitely not dating.”

  “Well, what’s going on then? Do you just feel like hooking up with all my friends?”

  I stare at him coldly, “I don’t know, do you just hook up with hoes like Missy to make me jealous?”

  Without responding, he walks toward me. I back away until I’m stopped by the hard bark of an oak tree. I stare into his eyes, as they turn soft. “No,” he responds. “I hooked up with Missy to make you realize that I’m the one you’re supposed to be with.”

  Without another word, Jasper’s lips collide into mine. I shove him off of me. “What are you talking about?” I scold. “Why would you think that’s the way to win me over? Grow up, Jasper!”

  Ripping my wrist out of his grip, I begin to take off toward the beach.

  “Riss, wait!” he begs. “Please, hear me out.”

  “Why should I?” I respond, keeping my back toward him.

  “Because, you’re supposed to be with me! I knew it the minute I met you, and I know you know it too. There’s something between us that you can’t ignore. Why are you fighting it?”

  I turn around slowly. “Jasper, there’s too many things. Things that can’t be changed.”

  “Like what, Riss?” he asks while interlocking his fingers with mine.

  He takes a step forward and his breath warms my chin. For a moment, every ounce of reason in my head is gone. I stare into his blue eyes and battle with my conscience. He takes another step forward, and his right arm wraps around my hip. He pushes me on the small of my back and our waists collide. I glance away, but Jasper’s hand guides my chin back forcing me to look deeper into his eyes.

  “You can’t fight destiny,” he explains. “You and I. Whether it’s tonight, or ten years from now, we will be together.”

  I let out a silent sigh and bite the corner of my lip. Jasper is right. There is some undeniable force that has pulled me toward him since the first day we met. It’s my own fear that has kept us apart. He leans in and brushes his lips across mine, gently initiating a kiss. Knowing that there are still many valid reasons as to why our relationship can’t work out, I pull away.

  “I can’t, Jasper. You have a girlfriend. If you’ll do this to her, how do I know you wouldn’t do it to me when we are together?”

  Jasper pulls a cigarette from behind his ear and flips his hood up over his hair. “Because, Riss, you’re the only girl I want. Missy means nothing to me, and I mean nothing to her.”

  I take a seat on a large rock. “I like you so much, Jasper. I think that’s the problem.”

  He takes a puff of his cigarette and the orange tip illuminates his face. Every time I look at him, he becomes more gorgeous than I remember. He squats down next to me. The hairs on his arms brush against mine and it feels like electricity is running through my veins.

  “I don’t see a problem, Riss. You like me, and I like you.”

  “Yeah,” I begin, “I’m terrified that you will absolutely destroy me.”

  Jasper takes another puff of his cigarette digesting what I’ve said. “Destroy you?” he asks.

  I nod my head. “You have the capability to ruin me, and I’m not sure I want to take that risk.”

  He flicks the last of his smoke into the woods and turns toward me. “Karissa.”

  “You called me Karissa,” I respond.

  He chuckles; such a beautiful laugh.

  “Karissa,” he repeats.

  I stare toward the beach, listening to Missy’s cackle from the bonfire.

  “Yeah?” I ask, terrified of what he might say.

  “What makes you think I’m not afraid of the exact same thing?”

  “You destroying me?” I wonder.

  “No, you destroying me.”

  I sit silently. His eyes fall to the ground while he pulls another cigarette from the pack hidden in his hoodie pocket. Touching it between his lips, he flicks the flint on his lighter and coasts it over the tip.

  I pull the cigarette from his mouth mid-puff. “What if we destroy each other?”

  Rolling the filter along my bottom lip, I close my upper lip on it and inhale a deep breath. The menthol hits my lungs but does very little to relax my nerves. I blow it out of my nose with a sigh of frustration. I take another drag while still awaiting his response.

  “Are you willing to take that risk?” he asks, stealing the cigarette from my mouth.

  I stand up, brushing the dirt from my shorts. “I don’t know.”

  Jasper stands to meet me, and then begins to walk away. “Well, I guess it is what it is then.”

  Jasper turns and disappears into the woods, a cloud of smoke lingering in the air behind him. My heart wants to scream at him to stop; to run to his arms and allow myself to drop every wall and ignore every ounce of hesitation. Instead, I stand – frozen. My head won’t allow me to go to him. I turn on
my heels and head back toward the beach, ready to end this dreadful night.

  Chapter 10

  “Come to a party with me tonight,” Keith yells from the living room.

  “I don’t know,” I respond. “Whose party?”

  “It’s my friend, Jason. His parents are out of town. It’s supposed to be a pretty big thing, but I don’t really want to go alone. Come with me.”

  “Fine,” I whine. “But, if it’s lame, promise me you’ll take me home?”

  “I’ll let you sit in my truck until I’m ready to leave,” he laughs.

  I throw a wet sponge at him from the kitchen sink. “Don’t be an ass.”

  “So, what’s going on with you and Jasper? I saw he left the party with Missy the other night, even after you and him were alone in the woods for a while.”

  I slam a pan in the sink and attack it with a squirt of soap. “Nothing.”

  “Whoa,” Keith responds, leaning against the doorframe. “C’mon, Riss. What happened?”

  “Jasper basically told me he wanted to be with me, and I shut him down again. What is wrong with me?” I ask, scrubbing a pan ferociously.

  Keith grabs the sponge from my hand. “Give yourself a break, Hun. When the timing is right, it’ll work out. You guys are soulmates. No matter how much you resist it or try to postpone the inevitable, there’s no stopping fate.”

  I dry my hands and sulk in to the living room where I collapse on the couch.

  The front door swings open. And footsteps glide through the house. “You guys going to Jason’s party tonight?” Jasper asks as he takes a seat on the cushion next to me.

  I stare across the room at Keith, knowing I’ve been manipulated.

  He throws his hands in the air. “What’s with the death stare, Karissa?” he jokes.

  “Yeah, we will be there,” I respond, fixing my hair and wiping the dried soap from my arm. “I didn’t know you were going.”

  “Well, yeah, Keith is giving me a ride. He didn’t tell you?”

  I shake my head, “No. He definitely didn’t.”

  Keith shifts his baseball hat to cover his face as he slumps down in the chair. I know he can feel the heat from my eyes, and I’m strongly reconsidering our friendship.

  Jasper shoves his hands in his pockets, unsure of what to say next. “Do you want to hang out at the party a bit?” he wonders. “With me, I mean?”

  Jasper’s insecurity is disheartening. I’m the reason he’s lost confidence, and I hate that I’ve stolen that from him.

  “Sure,” I agree, hoping it’ll instill some lost faith. A tiny side smirk slips out and Jasper notices it.

  “Ok,” he says with a smile. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

  Jasper leaves and I turn to Keith and smack him upside the head. “Stop it,” I scold.

  “What?” he laughs. “Someone had to step into that debacle. You needed a little shove, so I gave you one. Now, get ready for your first date.”

  I rush out the door and over to Dakota’s house.

  “A date?” she shrieks. “I’m so excited for you!”

  I shush her. “I wouldn’t call it a date. We are just going to a party together. I don’t even know if he broke up with Missy. Oh, what if he brings her? What if he thinks it’s like a group thing? Why didn’t I ask?”

  “No way,” Dakota gasps. “Paul!” she screams down the hallway.

  Appearing in the doorway, Paul is dressed in knit basketball shorts hanging just below his hips. Two strands of white headphone cord dangle around his neck and I suddenly remember why I hooked up with him in the first place. “What’s up?” he wonders.

  “Do you know if Jasper is still dating that notch?”

  Paul places one headphone in his ear, “I don’t know, and I don’t care.”

  “Thanks, you’ve been a load of help,” Dakota says sarcastically. “Jerk,” she mumbles as Paul heads down the hallway, blaring his music.

  “It’s no big deal, Dakota. I’m sure they are probably still together. They were still an item down at the get together at the lake, I bet that hasn’t changed,” I explain with noticeable disappointment.

  “Well, there’s only one way to find out.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Go to the party looking smoking hot. That way, even if he shows up with Missy, he will be coming home with you. Mission accomplished.”

  I rifle through Dakota’s closet for the perfect outfit while she runs her fingers through my hair before attacking it with a curling iron. I can’t help but wonder if tonight is the night Jasper and I will finally figure out our relationship.

  ***

  “You ready?” Jasper asks from the doorway of Dakota’s house.

  “Yeah, I think so,” I respond.

  He reaches for my hand to help me down the steps, and I allow myself to give in to temptation. I need to give this a chance; to give us a chance.

  The summer night is filled with the sounds of crickets and a warm breeze blowing through the open car windows. Keith’s stereo system is pounding as Jasper glances back at me from the front seat. His eyes squint a little as he smiles, allowing his hood to fall off the top of his head. His blonde hair is styled with hardened gel into small spikes.

  “You cut your hair?” I yell. “Why?”

  “Time for a change,” he answers with a wink. “Needed to grow up a little.”

  Our eye contact remains steady for a few more seconds, but I break our gaze when my phone vibrates on my lap.

  He dumped her yesterday! Dakota’s text comes through at the perfect time. Jasper is trying to show me he’s ready, and if I screw this up, I’ll never forgive myself.

  Ten minutes pass and we pull into Jason’s driveway. The house sits on a hill in the middle of the woods – a newer colonial with a large in-ground pool out back. Girls’ voices echo through the woods. Tiny screams and flirting giggles reverberate as boys chase them across the concrete. I follow the guys through a metal gate, hoping to blend into their shadows.

  “Yo, what’s up, Jasper! Where’s that fine piece that you’ve been seeing?”

  Jasper shakes his head, “I dumped her.”

  “Does that mean she’s fair game? Damn, bro. You’re stupid to let that one go.”

  Really? Stupid to let Missy go?

  “She’s all yours,” Jasper responds. The guys circle around him, asking questions about Missy. Jasper glances at me, but is unwilling to walk away from the group that has formed.

  Keith notices that I’m uncomfortable. “Let’s head inside,” he directs.

  I hook my arm in his elbow and allow him to lead me into the kitchen. The island is lined with bowls of chips and snacks. On the counter itself, bottles of liquor are strewn about, juice and soda containers are half empty and squeezed until they no longer stand upright. The dining room table has been transformed into the host of an intense game of beer pong. Keith fist pumps a few guys as we make our way deeper into the house.

  “Jason should be upstairs; these are all his brother’s friends.”

  I nod my head. Releasing my grasp on Keith’s arm, I grab a can of soda from a cooler as we head up the steps. Cigarette smoke blows down the staircase, seeking space in my lungs. Reaching the landing, I can hear the strum of a guitar from down the hall.

  “This way,” Keith says as he inches closer to the music.

  The room is without a door. Instead, a blanket is tied to the side like a curtain. About 10-15 people line the inside, sitting on the bed, bean bag chairs, and floor. On a desk chair in the far corner, a skinny red-haired kid, plays the guitar. His fingers move as if they were created to strum. He doesn’t look up when we enter, but instead begins to hum along with his creation.

  “Freebird!” yells a girl in the far corner.

  Keith walks directly over to the guitar player and the music halts.

  “Hey, buddy!” he says, leaning his guitar against the desk. “Where’s Jasper?”

  “Downstairs filling in your brother on al
l the ins and outs of Missy,” Keith explains.

  “I hated that chick,” Jason responds.

  Keith shifts to the right, and Jason’s attention swings to me.

  “Hey,” he says with a smile. “I’m Jason.”

  “Yeah, and she’s with me,” Jasper pushes between us. “Don’t even think about it.”

  “I thought we share,” Jason responds with a laugh.

  “Not this one,” Jasper says sternly as he grabs my hand. “This is Karissa. She’s not into guitar players.”

  Wrong. I was very much into guitar players, but I wasn’t interested in Jason. My one and only goal tonight was to explore things with Jasper. He leads me to the corner of the room, and we take a seat on the floor. Keith grabs another guitar from Jason’s closet and begins to play along.

  “Are you still with Missy?” I blurt out, desperately searching for 100% clarity.

  Jasper bites his lip and fiddles with the zipper on his sweatshirt. “No.” Turning toward me, his blue eyes turn soft. “She wasn’t you.”

  Finally, here he is, staring in my eyes, surrounded by drunken hippies and the smell of stale cigarettes and beer, declaring his feelings for me. “Wanna go somewhere else?” he asks.

  I nod my head, committing to my goal of figuring out what’s between us.

  We head out of the room and down a dimly lit hallway. There are few people in this part of the house. He makes a right into a room and Jasper shuts the door behind me, locking us inside. Before I can ask a question or object to the fact that he has chosen a bathroom, Jasper wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close. I stare into his eyes, realizing that there is innocence in them that I had never noticed before.

  With a deep breath, I remove his hood from his head and clasp my hands behind his neck. “So, what now?” I ask.

  He leans in and kisses me gently, pushing his waist against mine. The metal of his belt buckle collides with the button of my pants. “I want you to be my first,” he whispers.

  He slowly backs away, and opens the curtain to the bathtub, climbing in.

  “Are you kidding?” I ask.

  He shakes his head, “What would make you think I’m kidding?”