Taming Georgia (The Flawed Heart Series)

by Ellie Wade

  I turn to face him. “I’m just tired, Wyatt.”

  My hands drop to my sides, mirroring the defeat I feel in my heart. “I’m exhausted. I’m sick of pretending that the hatred you feel toward me doesn’t bother me when it does. I’m tired of working my ass off here just to feel emptier when I leave.”

  Tears stream down my cheeks, and I no longer try to stop them. “I’m tired of going through life, trying to fill a void that a stupid boy caused with the words he said when I was just seventeen. And most of all, I’m tired of dreaming of that boy and desperately wanting him, only to wake and discover that he’s gone, and the reality is that he never existed in the first place.”

  Wyatt just stares at me, his expression unreadable.

  I throw my hands up in defeat. “I thought I was supposed to be here. I thought fate led me here for a reason. But I don’t know if I believe that anymore,” I tell him, my voice shaking. “I’ve spent my adult life chasing happiness, only to see you staring back at me when I close my eyes, reminding me that the only person I’ve ever loved didn’t even see me. I’m a good person, Wyatt. I know I am. I don’t need you to agree to make it true. I don’t need you to love me back to make me whole.”

  Why am I talking about love? It’s only real in fairy tales, right?

  I hold my hand to my chest and press in to relieve the pressure. “And I hate that, after everything, though I don’t need it, I want it. What’s wrong with me?” I ask, my voice soft and broken.

  I shake my head and drop my chin to my chest.

  “I need to go,” I sigh.

  Scanning the room, I take everything in, except Wyatt. Looking for what, I’m not sure. Maybe a good-bye.

  I’m not certain what tomorrow will bring, but in my heart, I feel it’s time to move on and find another organization to help. There are countless ones that need it.

  I bounce from place to place, helping others, because it makes me feel good inside. This, here, doesn’t feel good. It hurts. I can’t stay.

  I leave the office without a backward glance. I don’t need to see him or his judgmental stare. I know what he thinks of me, and nothing I can say will change it. Some people are too stubborn to believe anything that doesn’t fit into the narrative they’ve created inside their head. Rather than seeking the truth, he chooses to ignore the facts right in front of him. I’m done.

  Maybe.

  I don’t know.

  I’ll decide tomorrow after a good night’s sleep.

  Walking away from Wyatt is something I’ve done before, and I’m thinking, in the near future, I’ll be doing it again.

  But these dogs…

  Out of habit, I grab a treat bag and walk by each kennel. I give treats and pet heads. I say good-bye to each perfect face. Reaching Luna’s area, I bend, handing her a treat. She’s still so sick and weak, but she wags her tail anyway.

  “I love you,” I tell her. “You’re going to find such a great home with people who will adore you. I promise. You won’t have to hurt again.”

  Tears roll down my face. I hate saying good-bye to the dogs. I’m not ready to leave. This place is magical and truly saves lives. The people who work here—Ethel, Xavier, and the rest of the guys—are wonderful humans with some of the kindest spirits I’ve come across. They feel like family, and walking away from here means walking away from them and the dogs.

  How can such an incredible place make me so sad? But it’s not the place. I know that. It’s the person. I wish I didn’t still harbor feelings toward him. If my heart didn’t crave him, it wouldn’t matter how he felt about me. If he were a nobody, it wouldn’t bother me. Yet he left this imprint on my soul years ago, and I haven’t been able to shake it since. I want more than anything to be able to detest him the way he does me. If that were the case, I could stay. But feeling my heart break a little more every day isn’t something that I’m equipped for.

  I’ve always thought that I was strong, maybe even stronger than most. I’ve seen the worst that mankind has to give, and I’ve been able to stand tall through it, even extending a helping hand to those who need support to get up.

  Wyatt Gates is my weakness. The harder I try to let him go, the more fiercely my heart holds on.

  I can’t get over him, and because of that, I can’t stay here.

  I open Hope’s cage, walk in, and shut it behind me. Leaning against the wall of her enclosure, I slide down until I’m seated on the ground. The chubby puppies start jumping on me. Some lick at the tears on my face, and I can’t help but smile. Puppies really are amazingly therapeutic.

  “You’re all getting so big.” I smile through the tears. “And look who’s the biggest.” I wrap my fingers around Mila and hold her up to my face, giggling as she licks my nose. “I wish I could take you with me.” I press her against me, and she nuzzles into my neck.

  Maybe I could come back for her when she’s ready to be weaned from Hope and her siblings. I need to figure out what my next step is. As much as I love her, I don’t tend to stay in one place for too long, and that’s not a good life for a dog.

  “I’d take you if I could, but I’m a mess. I’m just…”

  Lost.

  I pet her soft fur.

  “All right, babies. I have to go.” I kiss them all on the top of their heads and pet Hope before stepping out.

  Tears continue to fall as the puppies all jump up on the gate, wanting out. Soon enough, they’ll all have homes. I pray that their new owners are good people. I know that Wyatt does background and home checks on the adoption applicants. But still, I worry. Humans can be so cruel. With one final look at the first puppies I was able to see born, I turn to leave.

  I jump, startled to see Wyatt standing a couple of feet away, watching me in that way he does. His eyes narrow as they study me. His hands rest in the pockets of his track pants.

  My morning run seems so long ago. I’ve spent the entire day with Wyatt. We chatted with Mark. We saved Luna. We took care of the rest of the dogs in the shelter. We ate pizza and watched at least part of a movie together before I fell asleep. Then, I dreamed of him—again—and everything changed.

  It’s so surreal how I can start my day as one person and end it as a completely different one.

  Wyatt lifts his hand from his pocket and rubs the back of his neck. “I don’t understand what’s happening.” His voice is different than it usually is. It beckons me closer.

  I take a step in his direction.

  “I just…I…” I breathe deeply. “I don’t think I can volunteer here anymore.”

  “What’s changed? I couldn’t get you to leave when I was horrible to you, and now that I’m trying to be decent, you want to go?”

  “I know.” I force out a chuckle because he’s right. “It’s just not working for me.”

  I hate that when I look at him, I still feel like the seventeen-year-old girl who thought he was the most incredible boy in the world.

  “Do you know why I have to leave? It’s because when I look at you, I still see the high school boy who stole my heart right before he broke it. After all this time, I didn’t think you still had any hold over me. But being here with you, I realize that you do.”

  He pushes his fingers onto his temples. “You don’t even know me, Georgia. You don’t know what you felt. We were kids.” His words come out short, and frustration lines his voice.

  “I know you. I did then, and I do now. It’s you who can’t see me, Wyatt. I get that you’ve been through more heartache than most. The world hasn’t been kind to you, but none of that is my fault. Maybe you need someone to blame. I just don’t understand why it’s me.” I sigh, and a sad smile lines my face.

  “Good-bye,” I say before turning and walking away.

  “Wait.”

  I stop.

  Wyatt closes the distance between us. I feel his presence behind me. My body hums when he’s near regardless of whether I want it to or not. He’s always elicited this reaction in me. It’s visceral, unstoppable. I hol
d my breath in anticipation.

  I don’t turn around. Instead, Wyatt circles around me until we’re face-to-face.

  His blue eyes study me in a manner that I haven’t seen since high school. His features are softer. His eyes appear almost sad. He raises his hands up to my face, taking my cheeks beneath his palms.

  My chest burns from lack of air, and I pull in a ragged breath to relieve the pressure. His gaze continues to sear me with its intensity as it travels from my eyes to my lips. He leans in, pulling my head toward his.

  Wyatt’s lips press against mine, and a whimper escapes my mouth, only to be caught by his. The beats of my heart echo loudly in my ears, and my knees feel weak. I hold on to Wyatt’s waist, so I don’t fall over. When my hands touch his sides, he groans, and the kiss intensifies.

  He moves his hands up my face and threads his fingers into my hair. Our kiss is desperate now. It’s been so long, but my lips remember his like it was yesterday.

  They need his.

  Want his.

  Crave his.

  I kiss Wyatt like I might never kiss him again.

  Not one kiss that I’ve experienced has come close to the way I feel when Wyatt kisses me. Knowing this now, I commit this moment to memory. If I never kiss Wyatt again, I want to remember it all, every little detail.

  His hands tug at my hair. My scalp burns just enough at the pressure to drive me crazy with lust. His lips caress mine. His teeth pull my lip between them. His tongue dances with mine. His moans are quiet, desperate, and insanely hot.

  The pressure builds within my core. I press my body to his, needing to feel him. I want him more than I’ve wanted anyone.

  And then he stops and steps back.

  I gasp at his absence.

  “What?” I breathe heavily. “Why?” My mind is a jumbled mess of emotions.

  He shoves his hands through his hair. “Just come back tomorrow. Okay?”

  “Why did you kiss me?” I demand.

  Wyatt’s head falls back, and he groans toward the ceiling before catching me with his glare. “I don’t know,” he sighs. “Because I fucking needed to feel your lips.”

  He takes a few powerful steps away from me as if he needs to distance himself. He glowers in my direction. “I hate the fact that you’re here. I hate that I want you so fucking much that it’s painful. You’re right. Just go.” He waves his hand toward the door.

  “Why?” I yell. “What did I do?”

  His shoulders fall. “You were the one bright light I had. My life was shit. That school and everyone in it was shit. But it was all worth it to walk into class to see you every day. I thought you were different than them. I wanted to believe it even though I knew better. Sure, you seem different now, maybe. But a tiger doesn’t change its stripes, Georgia. Is this a game to you? Why are you insisting on bringing everything up?” His voice shakes with anger, but underneath it all, I hear the vulnerability.

  “Did something happen? Did someone in school hurt you?”

  “You did!” he roars. “You ruined me.”

  “How?” I step toward him, but he backs away.

  “The video. The bet. You know how. Just stop playing stupid. I know everyone there saw me as trash. I thought you were different. But you were the worst.”

  I feel the color draining from my face. The video? The bet? “What are you talking about, Wyatt? What video?”

  “The video that you told Kevin and Dwight to take of our kiss, so you could show Beck. You remember the bet you made with Beck? For a hundred bucks?” He glares at me, but in his eyes, there’s only sadness.

  I shake my head. “I don’t even remember a Kevin or a Dwight. I vaguely remember a guy named Beck, but I know I didn’t make a bet with him.”

  “So, you conveniently don’t remember?” he snarls.

  “Do you know how many schools I went to? How many people I met? I was in Ann Arbor for three months at the beginning of junior year. All I remember from that time is you! But I’m a hundred percent certain that I never made a bet with anyone about kissing you! Never! You know the people at that school were jerks. It hasn’t crossed your mind that they made up this bet thing just to be assholes? You didn’t think to ask me if it was true?”

  “Why would I question it? They were pretty convincing. You were one of them. I wasn’t.”

  I shake my head. “I wasn’t one of them. Just because my dad had money, you assumed I was an ass? You’re the ass, Wyatt. I had no idea that you were poor back then. I didn’t know you were a scholarship student who bussed in every day. All I knew of you I based off of our interactions, which I lived for. I was infatuated with you. I thought you were the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen. You’re the one who was judgmental.”

  I take a step toward Wyatt, and this time, he doesn’t move away.

  I look him in the eye. “Did you know that you were my first kiss?”

  “No.”

  “Well, you were. You were my first kiss, my first real crush. I thought you were everything. Not only did you break my heart with your words, but you also broke my spirit over something I didn’t even do.” I press my lips in a line and breathe in through my nose, willing my tears to stay at bay. “You were cruel, and I didn’t deserve it.”

  I lift my finger up and press it against his chest. “I’m sorry that life has dealt you a shitty hand. I really am. No one deserves to go through the things that you have. But that doesn’t give you the right to hurt someone who’s done nothing to deserve it. Jerks exist in all groups of people. What those boys did to you is just as bad as the words you said to me. Think about that.”

  Disappointment washes over me as I walk toward the exit. I turn the handle of the door, but before I leave, I turn and say, “Thank you for telling me the truth though. I’ve let your words hurt me for too long. I shouldn’t have, but I did. Now knowing the reason behind them, I can let it all go. I hope you can learn to let some things go, too. You can’t hold so much anger toward your past because you can’t change it. It will only make you miserable. Today is what matters.”

  My lips press together, and the corners rise, forming a grin. “Good-bye, Wyatt. The universe brought us together twice. Who knows? Maybe I’ll see you again.”

  I walk to my car, proud. I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t wish things turned out differently. As handsome as Wyatt is and as much as my lips crave his, he’s not right for me. Strength is wanting him and walking away anyway.

  I chuckle, thinking of the sitcom Friends and the million times I watched episodes with my sister, growing up. To quote Rachel, “And that, my friend, is what they call closure.”

  And closure feels great.

  14

  “There’s no such thing as true love, and if there were, Georgia wouldn’t be mine.”

  —Wyatt Gates

  “Who forgot the goddamn clip on this kennel?” I yell, looking around at the wide eyes of the guys as they clean out other kennels.

  No one takes responsibility.

  “Who cleaned this kennel? If you forget to clip the door shut, the dogs can jump up and knock the door open. Then, we have a loose dog that can run out and get lost. Is that what we want? There are reasons procedures are in place!”

  “It was me, boss,” Xavier says, taking the piece of metal from my hand and clipping the door shut.

  “No, it wasn’t.” I narrow my stare.

  Xavier isn’t cleaning kennels today. He literally just got back from a rescue run with me.

  He raises a hand as if swearing an oath. “Nope. Definitely me.”

  If I wasn’t so pissed, I’d laugh.

  “Shut up already. It wasn’t you.” I roll my eyes. “But you know who it was, don’t you?”

  He doesn’t answer.

  “Boss, how about you go do your office stuff? I’ll check all the kennels,” he tells me.

  “It was the new guy, wasn’t it?”

  “If you don’t want him to be that new guy who quit, let me talk to him. It’s hi
s first day on his own. Cut him some slack,” Xavier tells me.

  “New or not, he has to follow protocol, or dogs will get hurt,” I say, more than annoyed.

  He places his hand on my chest. “I get it, but you need to chill. You’ve been stomping around here like a toddler who was told he couldn’t have dessert until he ate his vegetables. You don’t pay these guys millions to clean up shit. So, don’t expect them to stick around with your attitude.”

  “They knew what to expect when they were hired. I’ve never pretended to be nice. I’m not Ethel.”

  “Yeah, well, let’s just say you’ve been a bigger asshole than usual lately. Where is Ethel anyway? We prefer working with her.”

  “She’s at a doctor’s appointment. She’ll be back later.”

  “Well, we anxiously await her arrival. Until then, how about you go to the office and find a dog to rescue or make some appointments with adopters? We’ll handle everything down here.”

  “Fine.” I frown. “But you tell the new guy to remember the fucking clips.”

  “Aye, aye, sir.” Xavier brings his hand to his head in a salute.

  “Can you stop being an idiot?” The corner of my lip turns up.

  “I don’t know. Can you stop being a dick?”

  “Probably not,” I answer truthfully.

  “Then, I can’t stop being an idiot either.” He shrugs.

  I let out a sigh. “Get back to work.”

  “Sir! Yes, sir!” he chants, saluting me once more.

  This time, I do laugh.

  Before I’ve gone too far, Xavier says, “Oh, Wyatt?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You know you can call her. She’d come back.”

  I stare at him, unsure of how to respond.

  Moments pass, and I don’t say anything before I walk away.

  “Hey, how’d it go?” I ask Ethel when she gets back from her appointment.

  “Good. You know, just getting all that yearly girlie stuff done.”

  “Um, I don’t know, and I don’t want to know about any of those procedures.”

  She hangs her coat on the hook on the wall. “So, the guys tell me that you’ve been quite the jerk today.”