Harlequin Romance Bundle: Brides and Babies
Page 40
She nodded slowly, then frowned. “I don’t suppose you’d be up for making a list of your bad points, just so I’d have something to mull over?” she asked.
He threw back his head and laughed. “Not on your life. It’s all good, Callie. It’s all going to be good.”
It’s all going to be good.
She wished she could believe that. A lifetime of bad outcomes had trained her to expect the worst. That was why she called Grant the next morning and told him she couldn’t do it.
“I’ll be right over,” he said.
“No,” she countered quickly. “It’s no use. I’m going out. You can’t change my mind.”
“Why, Callie?”
She drew in a deep breath and sighed. “There is one big fat obstacle we didn’t cover, and the more I think about it, the more I think it will doom our plans, no matter how careful we are.”
“And that is…?”
“Love.”
“Love?” His voice was hoarse. “I thought we’d settled that. We’re against it.”
“It’s all very well to say this is totally a business deal, based on mutual benefits and ruled by facts and logic. But once we’re married, we’ll be together a lot. What if one of us loses our objectivity and…” She searched for the right words. “How are we going to guarantee we can keep this on a business level?”
He was silent for a moment. “That’s a tricky one, I’ll admit. In order to do this at all we have to have a certain affection for each other. We have to like each other.”
“And I think we do,” she said almost reluctantly.
“Absolutely. But neither of us wants any emotional entanglement. You don’t want a reprise of your marriage, do you?”
“Heaven forbid.” She sighed. If only he knew how bad that had been. “But, Grant, there’s still the danger of-well, one of us starting to care too much.”
“I can tell you right now that this is not going to be a real problem for me,” he said.
He paused and she could almost hear him weighing what he could tell her with what was just too much to reveal.
“I don’t know how much you know about my marriage. Jan was the love of my life. The moment I met her I knew that she was the woman for me-and that was going to be forever.” His voice lowered a bit, as though he was fighting off emotion. “I’m a forever kind of guy. We had our ups and downs, but she was my heartbeat.” His voice sounded choked and he paused, steadying himself. “When I lost her and my little girl, I lost my life.”
Callie closed her eyes for a few seconds. His pain was hard to bear.
“But my grandfather needed me,” he said, going on after a pause to center himself. “I couldn’t hurt him, he’d had enough grief in his life. And little by little, I pulled myself back out of the darkness.”
His voice was gruff. This was obviously difficult for him to talk about. “I don’t usually spill my guts this way, but I feel like we have to be honest. This is a big decision. I don’t want to fall in love again. I’ve done that once. I just want to move on.”
She nodded, though she knew he couldn’t see her. She could hear the sincerity in his voice and she believed him.
“At the same time, I have this deep, hungry need for a child. I can’t really explain it. It’s partly that my grandfather would so love to see an heir in the pipeline. That would make up for a lot with him. But there’s more to it. Maybe it’s something embedded in my DNA. I don’t know. But I need to have a child.”
“I know,” she whispered. “I feel the same way.”
He was silent for a long moment, letting their agreement on the most important aspect sink in.
“Callie,” he said at last. “Please give this more thought. I’m begging you.”
She didn’t answer him and he paused for a moment, then added, “I’ll see you tomorrow night. Okay?”
“Okay,” she said softly. And listened as he hung up.
Callie did give it more thought. The morning sun brought back her optimism and things didn’t look so black and white. The entire project looked possible again.
And more thought brought up another issue. For all she knew, this might be her only chance. After all, she was almost thirty. There were no other prospective husbands on the horizon. Maybe this was just what she needed. All she had to do was throw caution to the wind.
Well, if that was all!
She was going to do it. She was going to marry Grant Carver and try to have a baby with him.
“It’s a business arrangement,” she told Tina, who took the news with openmouthed surprise. “It’s not a love match.”
Tina had the audacity to laugh at her for that pathetic proclamation.
“Right. There’s no way in the world you could fall for a man like that. No way.” She nodded wisely, then collapsed in giggles.
But Callie was determined to stand firm. After all, she’d been married before. She knew the ropes. Sort of.
Grant picked her up right on time and they cruised to the Cattlemen’s Club for dinner. He didn’t ask for her decision until they were seated at a round booth on a platform high enough to see out over the Dallas lights. They sat very close together this time, instead of across a table from each other. A sommelier poured out ruby-red wine in their crystal glasses, and Grant made a toast.
“To wedding bells and the pitter-patter of little feet,” he said, smiling at her. “Will you drink to that, Callie Stevens?”
She knew exactly what he was asking. She met his gaze and felt a tingle. Here it was. Taking a deep breath, she nodded and held up her glass.
“Yes, Grant Carver,” she said. “I’ll drink to that, and what’s more-I’ll marry you.”
The joy that leaped in his eyes made her breath catch in her throat and her heart start to thump. It was nice to be wanted-even if it was just a business deal. For just a moment, she thought he was going to toss aside his glass and take her in his arms and kiss her. She was ready to say no and to push him away, but her heart was beating even harder and she knew, no matter how hard she tried, she was not going to be able to avoid feeling a certain excitement when it came to being near this man.
She didn’t have to do any jujitsu to keep him away. He controlled himself, but his smile wrapped around her almost as warmly as his arms would have.
“Brilliant,” he said softly, his blue eyes shining. “You’ve made the right choice. Callie, we’re going to make a great couple, you and I.”
That would be lovely. She only hoped it was true. They sat very close and their heads got closer and they talked together almost like lovers, lost in a world of their own. Salads were served, and then the entrées, grilled duck for her, grilled steak for him. The food was delicious, the music from a string quartet romantic, the clinking of crystal and sterling silver a fine backdrop to the murmur of voices all around. Callie felt as though she’d stepped into a charmed land, a parallel universe, where good things just might happen after all.
“Well,” she said at last. “When are we going to do it?”
“Tie the proverbial knot?” He smiled at her. “I’ve arranged for a marriage to be performed by a justice of the peace I know at his chambers next Wednesday. Subject to your approval, of course. That will give us time to clear up all the paperwork. We should bring along two witnesses. I’ll bring my sister, Gena.”
She nodded. “I’ll bring Tina.”
He paused and a shadow passed over his face, surprising her.
“Are you two really that close?” he asked.
“Oh, yes. We’ve known each other forever.” She hesitated, then decided he might as well know the truth. “You see, we both had single mothers who died when we were teenagers, and no other family to go to. So we met when Social Services moved us into a group home with about ten other kids.”
He stared at her, astounded. “Callie, I had no idea. My God, what you’ve been through!”
She meant to give him a reassuring smile, but she could tell it was coming off a bit tremulous.
“It was pretty ghastly at first. But once Tina and I found each other, it was like we formed a little family of our own. It made the whole experience bearable.”
“So Tina is about as close to you as my sister is to me,” he said, looking resigned.
She nodded. “I would do just about anything for her.”
He looked troubled for a moment, and she wasn’t sure why that should be. But he shook it off quickly enough as dessert arrived. Bananas Foster for them to share-set on fire by the waiter to caramelize the brown sugar.
“Oh, this is heavenly,” Callie said. “I could live on this.”
Grant didn’t answer and she looked up to see why. He was watching her eat with a strange look on his face. Feeling slightly uncomfortable, she quickly brought up a new subject.
“I guess we ought to get some of the details settled,” she said.
“Right,” he said, nodding slowly. “I’m assuming my penthouse apartment will do until the baby comes. Of course, if you’d like to come over and see it so you can plan to move in right after the wedding…”
She stared at him, surprised. “Oh, do I really need to do that? I thought I would just stay where I am now until…”
“Callie, we’re going to be married. Married people live together.”
He was right, of course. She felt a little silly. She hadn’t thought that through. Naturally they had to make this look as much as possible like a real marriage. What was she thinking?
“I guess you’re right. But I’ll have my own room.”
He frowned. “If that’s the way you want it,” he said grudgingly.
She was surprised it was even an issue. “I think that would be best.”
He shrugged, then thought of something that lifted his spirits.
“I’ve got a gift for you,” he said, reaching into his pocket. “Close your eyes.”
“What is it?”
“A surprise. Close your eyes.”
She did so and felt him putting something on her finger.
“And now, we’re officially engaged,” he said.
Opening her eyes, she gasped at the beautiful ring he’d put on her hand. “Oh my goodness! Oh, it’s beautiful!”
The diamond had to be over a carat, surrounded by smaller diamonds that sparkled with cool, crisp fire.
“Oh, Grant!”
“It was my mother’s.”
She froze, then turned slowly to face him.
“I can’t take your mother’s ring. Not for a business deal.”
His eyes seemed to glow in the candlelight.
“Don’t worry,” he said with a twisted smile. “I’ve got a clause in the contract. If we divorce, you’ll have to give it back.”
“But Grant…”
“My mother passed away almost a year ago. She would have liked you. I’m sure she would approve.”
She didn’t know what to say. Somehow, this just wasn’t right. His mother’s ring-what if she lost it? But she could see that he wasn’t going to listen to argument tonight. She would save that talk for later.
“It’s wonderful, Grant. Thank you so much.”
He smiled. He was so close, she could feel him as well as see him. He was going to kiss her now. She could sense it. And this time, she thought she might just let him. She smiled and looked at his beautiful mouth and waited, heart beating. But he didn’t come any closer. And suddenly he was talking about garage parking places and getting her a key to his apartment and all the other details of everyday life they were going to have to adjust to.
She hardly heard him. She’d been so sure he was going to kiss her. It wouldn’t have been much of a kiss, of course. This wasn’t the place for passion-and anyway, passion wasn’t supposed to be a part of their relationship, she added to herself hastily. But a soft kiss to seal the deal would have been appropriate. Wouldn’t it? She’d been so ready. Surely he’d seen how she’d tilted her face to accept him. And yet, he’d held back.
She would have liked to blame it on his mouth still being sore from the stitches. Maybe that was it. But somehow, she doubted it.
Bottom line, did he feel anything for her at all?
Hold on there, Callie, she told herself briskly. He wasn’t supposed to feel anything. Remember?
This is not a love match. This is pure business.
Okay. Then that was the way she was going to treat it. Even if she fell in love with him.
Deep inside, she groaned. Where had that thought come from? From her darkest fears, no doubt. She’d been telling herself for years that she didn’t have the knack for falling in love. She’d come in contact with a lot of attractive men and felt nothing. She didn’t expect to fall for Grant. But what if she did? Was she crazy to risk it this way?
Maybe. But she’d made her decision and she was going to stand by it. A lot was riding on success here.
“Should we decide on a doctor?” she asked when he’d stopped talking for a moment.
He looked surprised. “Don’t you have an ob/gyn?”
“Of course, for the pregnancy. But who are we going to use for the…You know.” She gave a small shrug, surprised to find herself embarrassed.
But he frowned, looking at her as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“No, I don’t know. What are you talking about?”
She couldn’t imagine why he was being so obtuse. What had he been talking about all this time, anyway? He was the one who’d wanted to do this first.
“Well, we’re going to need to be tested,” she reminded him, trying to be as delicate as she could. But it wasn’t easy with a subject like this. “And you’re going to need to…make a deposit and…”
“Wait a minute.” He stared at her, thunderstruck. “You thought we were still going to use artificial insemination?”
She blinked at him. “Why yes. I thought…”
“Callie!” He laughed a big, booming laugh that rolled across the room and turned heads. “I think we’re perfectly capable of doing this on our own. Don’t you?”
She wanted to put a hand over his mouth and quiet him down. The whole room was listening. And here was Grant, saying…
“On our own?” She gazed at him, puzzled. “Oh, you mean…”
“Of course. That’s what I mean. You and me. Together.”
He stared at her, suddenly realizing she was serious. It hadn’t occurred to him that she would still be thinking along those lines. He was going to have to step lightly here.
“It’s up to you, of course. But I think we can manage something a little bit more personal, don’t you?”
She bit her lip. Her heart was thumping. She hadn’t realized…But of course he was right. One of the things that had turned her away from artificial insemination had been the cold, clinical nature of the process-not to mention the prospect of all those doctor’s visits.
“After all,” he was saying, “we’ve both been married before. We’re both sexually experienced. Aren’t we?”
“Actually…” She looked down at where her hands were curved around a coffee cup and turned beet-red.
“You’re kidding.” He didn’t know what to say. “You were married, right?”
“Yes, but…” She looked up at him, her dark eyes filled with a confusion that touched him in a way he hadn’t expected at all. “He couldn’t…He didn’t…”
How could she explain her marriage to a man who seemed to think of her as a sort of doll, a prized possession rather than a flesh and blood woman? His lack of interest in marital relations had confused her from the beginning and she still didn’t really understand it herself.
“You poor kid.” He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her tightly, but this was too public a place for that. Instead he touched her cheek lightly. “Callie, don’t worry. We won’t do anything until you’re ready.”
Her smile seemed a bit tremulous at first, then she appeared to regain her equilibrium and it broadened.
“Same here,” she told him, a mi
schievous light in her eyes. “I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for, either.”
He grinned. “Don’t worry about me. I’m ready right now.”
She laughed, but he wasn’t joking. Watching her, with her beautiful face and her silken skin, and that hair that fell around her shoulders like a symphony come to life, he knew he was more than ready. He wanted her in a deep, aching way that was going to be a problem if he didn’t watch out. But something told him it would be a problem he could live with.
CHAPTER FIVE
WHITE lace and promises.
What a picture those words conjured up-every girl’s dream. Callie had always loved weddings, the more white lace the better. But she hadn’t loved her first wedding much. Stark and quick, it had been kind of strange. She was beginning to worry that her second wedding wasn’t going to be any better. She was going to have two weddings under her belt and neither one of them traditional. Oh well, maybe she just wasn’t meant to be a traditional girl.
Grant had made the arrangements and from what he’d told her, the prospects were good this one was going to be as spare and unromantic as the first one had been-a utilitarian ceremony in a government office somewhere with just two witnesses. It sounded a lot like getting a driver’s license. She’d been dreading it the way she dreaded a trip to the dentist-something unpleasant that had to be done in order to get on with life. Nothing to look forward to at all.
She’d been working at the office all week and she liked her new job. She even liked seeing Grant across the room every now and then. The people she worked with had oohed and aahed over her engagement ring, but she’d managed to keep the name of the groom mysterious. It was going to be an awkward moment when she finally revealed that she was marrying the boss. Oh well. Just another of life’s little bumps in the road.
Grant had taken her to dinner a few nights into the week, and his sister had joined them. Gena was tall and slender and just as attractive as her brother was. They both had the look of Texas aristocracy-people whose ancestors had ridden through the purple sage and fought off attackers and run cattle across the land and built this state into what it was today.