Only a Cowboy Will Do--Includes a Bonus Novella

by A. J. Pine

  “Knock knock,” the other woman said from the open doorway while Jenna was sitting in the chair—fully clothed, finally—signing her release forms.

  “What are you doing here?” Jenna asked. “Sorry if that sounded rude. I just wasn’t expecting…”

  “I don’t know what happened,” Barbara Ann said. “All I know is that Colt said you were here alone and that he didn’t want you to be.”

  Her sunglasses were propped on top of her head, and she wore a denim shirt on top of a pair of khaki shorts and cowboy boots, which meant she’d probably been pulled from ranch duty to come and get Jenna.

  “You didn’t have to leave work for me,” Jenna insisted. “I’d have figured out an Uber or Lyft or whatever y’all have up here.” She forced a smile, but Barbara Ann gave her a pointed look.

  “Honey,” she said. “When you’re at the ranch—or in our town for that matter—you’re family. And family doesn’t leave anyone alone in a hospital room. Period.”

  And that was all it took for the waterworks to start up again.

  In a matter of seconds Barbara Ann was there, her arms wrapped around Jenna in the kind of warm, mama-bear hug she hadn’t felt since—she couldn’t remember when. For so long Jenna had been the mama bear. Jenna had been the one to give the hug when someone needed to cry in her arms. This? It was awful and wonderful all at the same time. She didn’t want to be heartbroken, but oh how she needed this simple little hug that, right now, felt like the biggest thing in the world.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart,” Barbara Ann whispered, even though they both knew it wasn’t.

  And then neither of them said anything, not for several minutes. Barbara Ann simply held her, and Jenna let herself be held.

  Soon after that, they were in Sam’s silver pickup and on the way back to the ranch.

  “I could take you for some coffee? Something to eat?” Barbara Ann said. “The doctor said you should take it slow, but I’m betting you’re pretty hungry.”

  Jenna’s stomach growled in response, but she had some crackers back in her room. That was probably all she could handle right now, anyway. Plus, she was still wearing last night’s clothes.

  “Thanks,” she said. “But I need a shower. And to regroup.” She looked at Barbara Ann, who smiled even though her eyes were trained on the road. “Colt really didn’t tell you anything?”

  The other woman shook her head. “Just said you shouldn’t be alone but that you didn’t want him there. Whatever happened, sounds like he thinks it’s your story to tell. I’m all ears if you want, but I understand if you’re not up for rehashing what led him to knock on my door at seven thirty in the morning, red-eyed and looking like he’d been to hell and back.”

  Jenna’s chest ached, for the hurt she’d caused him and the hurt he’d caused her right back.

  And then, because it felt like she had an ally or at least a neutral third party, she told Barbara Ann everything. By the time she’d finished, they were parked in front of the Meadow Valley Ranch’s guesthouse.

  Barbara Ann turned to face Jenna, laying a palm over Jenna’s hand. “Oh, honey. What the two of you have both been through and lost at such young ages? Those wounds are deep. They shape who you are and what you want out of life. Does he even know why you had the surgery?”

  Jenna shook her head. “The why doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change that Colt wants a family and that I can’t give that to him. I don’t fault him for wanting it. He deserves everything in life that would make him happy. It’s just not me.”

  Barbara Ann sighed. “I’m sorry. I wish I had an answer for you. But if there is one, it’s for you and Colt to figure out.”

  But she would never ask Colt to give up the future he’d always wanted. He shouldn’t have to settle for anything less than what would make him truly happy. And neither should she.

  Jenna squeezed the other woman’s hand. “Thank you, and I don’t just mean for the ride.”

  Barbara Ann gave her a sad smile. “I know,” was all she said. Then she gave Jenna one more of those mama-bear hugs that Jenna would always remember before Jenna hopped out of the truck and back to her room.

  It was hard for her to let go, not only from the embrace but from the sheer hope that she’d maybe, finally, found what she hadn’t even known she was looking for.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Colt pulled onto the private road that led to Dr. Eli Murphy’s farm and veterinary clinic. As he bumped over the gravel, William, his goat companion, bleated from the rear of the vehicle.

  “Yeah, yeah,” he said to his unconventional companion. “We’re almost there.”

  He’d definitely had his share of animals this week, especially after watching over Trudy’s brood, but the second he learned Delaney had a sick goat who needed a lift to the vet, he’d been the first to volunteer.

  He couldn’t count how many times in the day before that he’d brought Jenna’s number up on his phone, pressed the green button to initiate the call, only for her to send him straight to voicemail.

  “Hey. It’s Jenna. Leave a message. Or a text. Or you can just call me again later. Bye, y’all.”

  The sound of her voice, the lilt of her accent—it kicked him in the gut every time he called.

  He loved her. With every molecule in his body. But he’d stumbled over his words and said all the wrong things, so she pushed him away. Even if she had answered one of his calls, what would he have said? He wanted her, but he also wanted the future he envisioned, which meant he didn’t have a clue how to make any of this right.

  It was Emma all over again, except it wasn’t. Only now, when he knew how much he loved Jenna, did he realize that with Emma it was the idea of them he loved—the future that marrying her represented—but not the woman herself. When he finally parked in front of the clinic, his heart sank like deadweight straight to his gut. Jenna had him out, but maybe it was for the best. He wanted a family. A future. With her. And it couldn’t happen.

  He’d risked contaminating his car with a pinkeyed goat because apparently goats were as susceptible to the eye infection as humans. And because if Colt wasn’t at the ranch, he wouldn’t have to risk running into Jenna on her last day in town not knowing how the hell to fix what felt like it couldn’t be repaired.

  He opened the trunk and grabbed the leash attached to William’s collar. William bleated, then hopped out of the car.

  The goat was surprisingly cooperative as Colt led him to the clinic, but when he opened the door, the receptionist desk was empty with a note taped to the front that said In the stable. Back in ten.

  Colt shrugged.

  “Okay, buddy,” he said. “Guess we’re going for a walk.”

  He and the goat headed back the way they came and crossed the parking lot to the small expanse of grass that separated Dr. Murphy’s house and farm from the clinic.

  He wondered what Eli was doing in the stable. There hadn’t been a horse living on the property since Tess died. Other than the ranch, the only other horses in town were the couple that Mayor Cooper had at his restored horse farm. And if there was one thing everyone in Meadow Valley knew, it was that Eli Murphy steered clear of horses unless they were in need of medical attention.

  The stable door was open when they got there, so Colt walked right in. Before he had a chance to get his bearings, a chicken squawked and came barreling toward him and the goat. A second later William went stiff as a board and toppled over on his side.

  Lucy.

  Only when he realized whose chicken it was that had just paralyzed his goat did his eyes register the two people staring at him from a couple of stalls down—Eli and Jenna.

  The two of them stared at him as he stared right back. He was sure Dr. Murphy was wearing something along the lines of a shirt and jeans, but all he could see was Jenna in her blue sundress, her blond hair in one of those messy buns on top of her head with loose wisps framing her beautiful face.

  Colt’s stomach tied in knots, and all the ai
r escaped his lungs in one large whoosh, so that he felt light-headed. What did he expect, that after one day and one very serious truth bomb, Jenna Owens wouldn’t still take his damned breath away?

  Of course he didn’t expect that, which was why he’d been trying to avoid this exact type of confrontation when he knew she didn’t even want to talk to him.

  He cleared his throat. “Delaney says William’s got pinkeye? She came by to check on and feed all the animals this morning, but Sam’s teaching a riding lesson, and Barbara Ann was on an errand.…” He figured he knew how Jenna had gotten here now. “Anyway, she was hoping you could get him some drops, maybe keep him overnight so he doesn’t pass it on to anyone else?”

  Eli nodded. “Sorry no one was at the desk to greet you. My receptionist up and quit with only two days’ notice. Can’t seem to find anyone who actually enjoys the job and wants to stay. Jenna, can you give me a few minutes to get William situated before we finish what we were talking about?”

  “Sure,” she said. “Unless you need a helping hand.”

  She was trying to get out of this confrontation too. At least they were both on the same page.

  “It’s probably best you tend to your hen,” he said. “William’s just coming out of his spell, and I’d rather not have to carry him back to the clinic.”

  Jenna let out a nervous laugh. “Right. Sorry about that.” She dropped to a squat. “Lucinda Owens, you get over here right this second.”

  Amazingly, the hen behaved, and Eli was able to usher the goat out of the stable before he fainted again.

  Jenna picked Lucy up and held her under her arm like a football. Then she closed the distance between them in a few long strides. Colt half expected her to walk right past him and out the door, but she stopped.

  “Hey,” she said, her voice sad but sweet.

  “Hey,” he said back, because right now that was all he could manage.

  “Squawk!” Lucy said, pecking in the direction of Colt’s chest, but luckily there was enough space between them that she couldn’t actually hit her target.

  “She doesn’t like me much, does she?” he asked. “Guess she is psychic.”

  Jenna smiled, but it didn’t reach her red-rimmed eyes. Had she been crying? As much as he was hurting, it gutted him to see her hurting too.

  “Can’t tell for sure,” she said, bringing him back to the moment. “Lucy’s been off her game this whole trip, from the second you picked me up at Jack’s place.”

  Two weeks ago when the worst pain he’d felt in a long time was the loss of his tin of cookies. Now look where they were.

  “Jenna, I’m—” he started right when she started to speak as well.

  “Sorry,” they both said. “You first.”

  “You first,” he said again.

  She nodded and blew out a breath. “I didn’t mean to put this all on you,” she said. “I was hurt. And maybe not thinking clearly on account of emptying my guts the night before and a fever that had me burning hotter than the underworld.” Another forced smile. “I’m sorry for how you found out, but I’m not apologizing for waiting to tell you. I needed to be sure about my feelings for you—about yours for me—because we both know this wasn’t part of the plan.” She blew out a long breath. “You deserve everything you want out of your life, Colt, as much as I deserve what I want out of mine.”

  “I want you,” he said.

  Her eyes went glassy, and she shook her head.

  His chest tightened. “That’s the part that kills me, Jenna, that you would ever think that you weren’t enough. That I would make you think that.”

  She pressed her lips together and nodded. “I’m not, though. Not for you. And that’s okay.” She sniffed, and a tear leaked out of the corner of one eye. “I mean it’s not okay. I’m obviously not okay, but I will be. You will be. And you’ll find someone who can give you everything.”

  Lucy squirmed in her arm, so Jenna put her back on the ground. The hen squawked again and pecked at Colt’s boots.

  “Enough of that, Lucy,” Jenna said, shooing the bird away.

  She gave Colt’s boot one last peck and then took off down the aisle of stalls, probably hoping to find another goat to paralyze.

  “Eli wants to turn part of the stable into a chicken coop,” Jenna said. “He wants to turn the farm into more of a small business, hire some folks to run this and that.” She let out a bitter laugh. “Even offered me a job overseeing the hens and the egg laying.”

  Though he knew it was ridiculous, hope surged through his veins. If she was staying, they could…They could…What could they do but still want each other while also wanting different futures?

  “Did you accept?” he asked, trying not to give away every warring emotion that flooded through him.

  She shook her head. “I wouldn’t do that to you. Or to myself. You don’t get over someone by parking your behind where you might run into them on a regular basis. This was…” She motioned between them. “We were…We had a fun couple of weeks, but that’s all it’s ever going to be. We messed it up real good, didn’t we?”

  “Jenna…” he said.

  But she shrugged. “This was always where we were going to end up, Colt. Don’t you think it’s better we pulled back these past couple of days before it got too real?”

  Too real? Too real? He’d flat-out told her he loved her, and maybe she thought he hadn’t heard, but she’d said it too. She’d loved him right back. Maybe that was past tense now, but they’d traveled well beyond too real.

  He opened his mouth to argue his point, to prove to her that this was real, even if it was ending.

  But he stopped himself. Because it was ending. They were ending. By this time tomorrow, Jenna would be gone, and he’d be back to his regular day-to-day on the ranch, heart shattered more than he’d ever imagined possible.

  “Sure,” he finally said, even though he was lying through his teeth. “Better sooner than later.”

  “I’m not sorry we met,” she said, but her voice was shaking. She held out her right hand, and he clenched his jaw so hard he was sure he’d grind his teeth to dust.

  “You want me to shake your hand?” he asked, incredulous. “After everything?”

  She pressed her lips together and nodded, and he could tell she was holding back more tears. But he had no intention of making this easy. For either of them. Because it wasn’t easy.

  “What else are we supposed to do?” she asked.

  “Let me ask you something,” he said. “You wouldn’t answer any of my calls. If I hadn’t run into you today, would I have even seen you again before you left?”

  For several long seconds she said nothing, and then she slowly shook her head.

  The air in the stable seemed to grow thinner. Colt could barely breathe.

  He crossed his arms, and she dropped her hand.

  “Sorry I messed up your plans,” he said. “I’ll just go check in with Dr. Murphy and make sure he’s okay keeping the goat for the night. Good-bye, Jenna.”

  He turned to walk away but couldn’t move. He wasn’t cruel. He wasn’t the kind of guy who punished others for hurting him. And he wasn’t sure which was crueler, if he simply walked away or if he turned around and did what he wanted to do. What he needed to do so that Jenna Owens knew how truly real they’d let this get.

  When he pivoted back to face her, she hadn’t moved. And when he took the one step needed to close the gap between them, she didn’t retreat.

  And when he cupped her cheeks—wet with tears—in his hands, she clasped hers around his neck.

  He said good-bye to her the only way he knew how, kissing her one last time with everything he had. She held him tight and kissed him with a fierceness he hadn’t felt from her before. Because this was it.

  When they broke apart, she pushed past him and out the stable door, not giving either of them a chance to say another word.

  His phone buzzed with a text. It was Eli.

  Treated William. He c
an stay the weekend just to make sure it’s clear. I’ll bring him back to the ranch on Monday.

  Colt texted him back a Thank you. Then he got into his car and drove away from the woman who should have been his future but now would only ever be another painful piece of his past.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Are you sure you’re comfortable on the couch?” Delaney asked, and Jenna nodded.

  Delaney’s three-legged black cat, Butch Catsidy, purred in Jenna’s lap. It didn’t fix what had happened between her and Colt, but it helped. A little. Lucy squawked away in the backyard, and as much as Jenna liked having her feathered friend near, the hen was lacking a bit in the snuggle category.

  She couldn’t stay at the ranch tonight. Not knowing Colt was in the same building as her. Not after that kiss that pretty much wrecked her. If only she could have made it to tomorrow and her flight home without running into him. He probably would have hated her for leaving like that. But wouldn’t that have made things easier for him?

  “Are you sure Barbara Ann doesn’t mind driving me to the Reno airport in the morning? What if you go into labor? What if Sam’s at the ranch and you need—I don’t know—an orange or something?”

  Delaney sat across from Jenna on a recliner love seat with her feet up in front of her. “I promise to have Sam leave me with a bowl of oranges right next to the remote.” She sighed. “I wish I could come to see you off. At least you’ll be back in December for my snowy winter wedding, right?” She winced because she knew what Jenna’s response was going to be.

  “You know how much I want to be there for you and Sam—and the baby,” Jenna said.

  “But…?” Delaney asked. In that one word Jenna could hear her sad resignation.

  “But I don’t know if that will be enough time for me to be around Colt and not—”

  “Still love him?” Delaney winced again.

  There was no use in lying, so Jenna nodded.

  “I really want to be mad at him on your behalf,” Delaney said. “But I can’t fault him for wanting what he never had.”