Awaken To Pleasure

by Nalini Singh

Page 27

 

  "I will. " Nick hugged a startled but happyJackson.

  Tears pricked her eyes at the way her husband had accepted her brother, so hungry for male attention, but it was only when he was outside that she allowed herself a little sniffle. "I'll miss him while he's at that training camp. " Nick would always be her baby boy.

  Jacksonput down the paper he'd been reading and came over to hug her from behind. "It'll only be a few days. "

  She leaned back into his strength. "He's going to be all grown up soon, and then what'll I do?"

  Kissing her neck, her sexy man laughed in a way that sent tingles up her spine. "Love our four other children. "

  "Four?" She laughed. "Let's get this one out first. "

  "I like to plan ahead. "

  She bit back a smile. "Speaking of planning ahead - don't forget we have to go to that premiere tomorrow. "

  "Nick?"

  "He wants to visit Mrs. Willis and she adores him, so we'll drop him off at her place on the way to the theater. "

  Jacksonmade a sound of agreement. "There's a family film premiering in three months - Nick can come to that with us. "

  Emotion shot through her at the way her husband never forgot her brother, never tried to push him aside.

  "He'll love that. " Reaching up, she clasped her hands over his arms. "Is this premiere going to be like the last one?" Three weeks ago, she'd attended her first glittering premiere byJackson's side.

  The pre-movie get-together had been interesting. Relaxed because she knew several people from her dinner party, people who'd made it a point to introduce her to others who hadn't yet met her, she'd enjoyed the energy in the air as nervous actors and directors mingled with just as nervous producers.

  However, the movie itself had left her with a headache - from trying to comprehend the plot.

  Jacksonchuckled. "I promise this one's not a would-be art film that takes itself way too seriously. It's a chick-flick - sure to be a big hit for us. "

  Smiling at the resignation in his tone at being obliged to sit through the production, she turned to nuzzle him. "You have good taste, darling. I would've had to kill you ifSantorini Studios had backed that other picture. "

  " You are proof of my good taste. " He kissed heruptilted lips, the caress an invitation. "Nick's busy. Come upstairs, little wife. I have an intimate matter to discuss concerning our future plans. "

  TaylorgaveJacksona very female look but let him coax her up to their bedroom. Once there, her generous response soothed his possessive need for her. He was determined to teach her to trust him enough to gift him with her love, but sometimes, patience was difficult. His proprietary instincts demanded her devotion. But, JacksonSantorini was a man of honor and he would never go back on his word, in an attempt to forceunnegotiated concessions.

  Love had not been part of their agreement.

  He would persuade but not demand; fight his instincts to give her the emotional freedom she needed.

  There was only one catch - he would never let her go. The minute she'd accepted his proposal, she'd become his. Forever.

  Almost two weeks after she'd confirmed her pregnancy,Taylorfixed Nick's collar one Friday morning and kissed him on the cheek. "Have fun at soccer boot camp. "

  He grinned. "I will. Bye. " With an excited wave, he jumped in the team minivan and they drove out, followed unobtrusively by a bodyguard posing as a coach. It was a necessity that they were trying to downplay.

  "He'll be okay. He's got the cell phone if he needs us. "Jacksonglanced at his watch. "I'm due at a meeting in forty minutes. " He kissed her a soft goodbye. "Think of me, piccola . " He turned to walk over to his car.

  "I'm not going to be so little in a while. " She tried to make her words light, but disquiet whispered through her veins. Not for her body, but for her soul. A tiny piece ofJacksonwas growing inside of her, but an even more dangerous and amorphous thing was taking root in her heart.

  Returning, he touched her cheek in a fleeting caress. "You'll always be little to me, mia moglie . "

  For some reason, she wanted to stop him from going to work and ask him to hold her tight. But, putting on a bright smile, she waved him off. Only when he was gone did she drop the mask. What was the matter with her?

  Something twisted in her stomach. She made a face. Morning sickness hadn't been a problem yet but maybe that was it; the yucky part of her six-week-old pregnancy was about to start. However, though she stood in the bathroom for a while, feeling nauseous, she didn't throw up.

  Instead, tiredness seeped into her bones and barely two hours after she'd woken,she crawled back between the sheets, clad in nothing butJackson's discarded shirt. The masculine scent of his body lingered in the fibers, tangible and comforting, but it wasn't enough. The nausea had become something worse.

  She hurt deep inside. Giving up trying to fight the urge, she rang his office.

  "He's on a video conference toNew York," Naomi, his new secretary, told her. "I can get him. . . "

  A painful cramp brutalized her stomach. "No," she whispered, almost unable to speak. "Just . . . just ask him to come home after his meeting. Okay?"

  "It'll be a couple of hours. "

  "That's fine. " He probably wouldn't appreciate being called home to hold his weepy wife. Hanging up, she tried to slip into sleep.

  But, a few minutes later, when she felt a warm wetness creeping between her thighs, she was wide awake. There was no pain, only a shocking emptiness where new life should've existed in nurturing warmth. Instead of confusion, sudden clarity wouldn't allow her to ignore the fatal truth.

  "No, no, no. "Her voice was a hoarse whisper. "Please, no!" She fought the urge to look down. If she didn't see, it couldn't be true. But it was a futile effort - her gaze was pulled toward the horror.

  On the blue sheets, the quickly spreading stain didn't look like blood did in the movies, bright and tomato-red. This was dark, almost black. And she knew her baby was gone. So quickly, so suddenly, so completely. Until that moment, she hadn't realized just how much she'd already come to love their baby, their precious bambina .

  Clutching her stomach, she keened in grief, unable to stop that sound of utter anguish. How could she do this toJackson? How could her body betray her this way? Fueled by hormones in disarray, fear and suffering raked her with razor-sharp claws. The baby was gone. She'd lost their baby and failed to keep the only part of their bargain that mattered to her husband. Jacksonhad wanted to create life but she would only give him death . . . he would hate her like he hated Bonnie. Her heart broke at the realization and her tears became heartrendingly silent.

  Jacksonhad been irritated when Naomi interrupted the video conference barely after it had begun, but upon hearing her message, he decided she deserved a raise. Despite his reputation, she hadn't hesitated to stick her neck out forTaylor. AndTaylorwasJackson's life.

  Disturbed by her report of his wife's fragile voice on the phone, he immediately called home. No one answered. Worried, he postponed the meeting and got in the car. When he arrived at the house, she didn't respond to his calls. He ran up the stairs to their bedroom, concernlaying like a rock on his heart. If anything had happened to hisTaylor, he wouldn't be able to bear it. The bed was a jumbled mess. His eyes told him that something was wrong with the dark blue sheets, but hearing movement in theensuite bathroom, he headed that way.

  Taylorwas standing propped up in the corner, a white towel tucked haphazardly around her body. Wet hair lay limp and damp around her shoulders. Alarm for her health jack-knifed in his gut.

  She looked up. "The baby's gone. " Her eyes were sunken, her face leached of color.

  "Gone?" He couldn't help but remember Bonnie. Anguish at this second loss of a child shot through him like lightning. He was furious withTaylorfor a second, incredibly, unjustifiably angry, when he knew that she would've never made such a callous decision.

  Her f
ace went even paler and he knew she'd seen the anger. "I'm sorry. " Her voice was so forlorn and shivery that it scared him, reaching past the pain and fury to find the tenderness that he felt only for her.

  Walking over, he put his hands on her shoulders. "What happened?"

  "I'm sorry," she whispered again, eyes unfocussed.

  He'd seen that expression before, on the faces of shock victims profiled in a recent war documentary.

  He hissed through his teeth when he touched her bare arms. She was as stiff as wood, cold as ice.

  Shoving aside his raging need to know what had happened, he took her into his arms. Nothing and no one else mattered. No one. OnlyTaylor.

  It was at that moment thatJacksonrealized that if he lost his wife, he would simply give up on life. It was a shocking truth but he accepted it. TrueSantorini men, uncorrupted by the world, never loved with anything less than all their heart and soul. His grandfather Josef had lived only a few days after his grandmotherGia's passing.

  "Taylor. " Gentleness had no effect. "Taylor!"

  She looked up at his harsh tone, but didn't speak. It was almost as if she were waiting for a blow to fall.

  Frustrated by his inability to reach her, he picked her up and stalked toward the bed, intending to sit on the edge.

  "No!" Though weak, she began to struggle. Her tone was horrified and pleading at the same time.

  Frowning, he bypassed the bed, and sat down on the window seat instead, holding her in his lap.

  Because she loved to sit there in the sun and read, there was a soft angora blanket on the seat. He wrapped it around her, scared at her low body temperature. Then he began rubbing her arms under the blanket, clamping her cold feet between his thighs to warm them up.

  After a long while, she asked, "Why are you being nice?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

  "Is there a reason I shouldn't be?"

  "I told you, the baby's gone. "