Selfless (A Carolina Coastal Novel Book 1)

by Kelsey Cheyenne

  I kiss him with equal fervor, trailing my hands down his body until I reach the waistband of his pants. My hands tremble as I reach for the button, popping it open and pushing the denim over his hips. He stops me, pulling away and sitting back on his heels.

  “We don’t have to go any further.” Make this man a priest because he has the patience of a fucking saint. The words make me want to take this step for both of us. I’m finally ready.

  With him sitting up and giving me space, I push myself up so I can remove my shirt. I toss it aside and lean back in my bra. He blows a hard breath between his lips and takes me in. His gaze flicks between my eyes and my breasts and his hands hesitate, hovering over me.

  “It’s okay. I want this…I want you.” He smirks and leans down to kiss my neck, working his way to my breasts.

  “You’re so beautiful, Carson,” he whispers in my ear. He hasn’t seen me naked yet, but he can’t stop complimenting me.

  I push at his pants once more and he chuckles at my eagerness, but I’m not embarrassed. He obliges my demand and removes his jeans. My mouth falls open at the sight.

  His cock is long and thick, impressive as it pushes against the fabric of his briefs. His grin is sinister as he watches my expression. He reaches down and pushes my pants over my hips, taking his turn to undress me. I can’t kick my leggings off fast enough.

  We kiss some more. We’re skin to skin, two hot, needy bodies frantically grasping at one another. We’re clawing and scratching at each other, hungry for more but not wanting to scare the other away.

  With a flick of his wrist, Wren removes my bra and groans at the sight. He leans down, taking a pert nipple into his mouth, causing my back to arch and a moan to escape from the back of my throat. He gives equal attention to my other breast with his hand, tugging on the bud, teasing me.

  “Please, Wren.”

  He moves down my sides and slides my thong over my hips. I’m wet and ready for him and as I’ve already proven, I’m not above begging.

  He tosses my panties to the floor and his hands knead my muscles in my calves and thighs as he makes his way up to the apex. Wren moans as he finds me soaked and needy. He pushes a finger in and I moan at the slight fullness.

  I saw how big and rigid his cock was; I need to get ready for him. He pulls out and pushes a second finger in, spreading me as he curves his fingers to hit my g-spot. His thumb finds my clit and I bite my lip to stop from calling out.

  When he pulls out entirely, I whimper at the bereft feeling. “Wren.” I’m whiny and desperate.

  “I’m sorry, baby, but I need to taste you.”

  Wren leans down, lapping me up as I cry out. He fucks me with his tongue and I writhe under him, unable to control myself, so much so that he pins my legs down. He moves up, focusing on my clit, nibbling and sucking on the sensitive bud. Tingles spread over my body as my orgasm builds, climbing higher until I inevitably fall.

  I call out, moaning his name as he continues the precious torture. My legs shake and my body is covered in a sheen of sweat. Wren slowly comes to a stop, making a move to place one final kiss on my oversensitive bud.

  He leaves wet kisses up my body until he reaches my mouth. I take my hands and travel down, hooking under the waistband of his army green briefs and pushing them down. His cock springs free and I rub the hot, silky shaft.

  Holy shit. My fingers barely touch as they wrap around his impressive dick. I don’t think it’s going to fit. The hot skin teases my entrance and I want nothing more than to take him bare.

  He kicks his boxers off the rest of the way and stares down at me, presumably giving me one final out, which I’m never going to take. He leans over me to his nightstand, probably ready to grab a condom.

  “I haven’t done this in years. I mean, I’m clean and on the pill. I just…want you. I want to feel you.”

  “I’m clean too, I promise. I wouldn’t do anything to put you in danger.” I nod because I already know that. I trust him inexplicably.

  He pushes the wide head in. My body needs a minute to adjust to the intrusion and when it does, it’s the sweetest feeling imaginable. Wren starts slow, moving in and out of me with measured patience. I can tell he’s holding back, but I’ve waited long enough. I need more.

  “Harder, Wren. Please.” He moans and swears under his breath. The second he picks up the pace I want to cry from the bliss. Our connection is unmatched and the feeling is indescribable.

  Within minutes, the familiar sensation starts to spread through my veins all over again. The fire in my belly burns bright, igniting me from the inside out.

  My orgasm rolls through me like a tidal wave, knocking me breathless. The rush is everything I remember and more. It’s intense and emotional which takes me by surprise. Slow tears drip out of the corners of my eyes and the experience rips through me.

  Wren follows close behind, pumping into me hard and fast until he stills, moaning into my neck. “Shit, Carson.” After spilling into me, he kisses my neck and up to my cheek, heading to my mouth until he catches one of my salty tears.

  “Are you okay, baby?”

  I nod but the tears won’t stop. The emotion overwhelms me and I can’t pinpoint it. Maybe the orgasm was just too much after all this time.

  “I’m sorry, I’m okay,” I say, but my voice breaks. Wren pulls out of me and sits up, studying my face and my watery eyes.

  I can tell he doesn’t believe me and his next words are a spear through my heart. “Maybe this was a mistake.”

  Thirty-Three

  Carson

  If I wasn’t already crying, those words would’ve broken me. I don’t know how to explain these emotions to him in a way he’ll understand, but it’s evident I have to try. I sit up and take a deep breath, reaching for his hands. I’m totally naked, the most vulnerable I could be, and yet my words are about to make me feel more bare.

  “I don’t think this was a mistake and I don’t regret a minute of it. I was overcome with emotion and my body couldn’t handle it. If I wasn’t ready to take this step with you, I wouldn’t have.”

  He nods but still eyes me skeptically. “Do you want honesty?” I urge him to continue. “I feel like I’m trying to live up to a ghost and yet I’m trying not to replace him. I’m balancing on a tightrope, scared to lean too far one way or another. I’m jealous, but he’s gone. It doesn’t make any sense.” It’s senseless, and yet I understand it.

  “I’m scared too about all of that, but it’s a little different for me. I’m scared I’m going to have so many more years with you that I’ll somehow grow to love you more than I loved him. I don’t want to second guess my feelings for him, but I do. What I have with you is deep and intense and it terrifies me. I’m older now and wiser. I’m feeling things I haven’t felt before and it’s like what I had with him wasn’t real.” Another tear falls. “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m sorry too. I—” He stops himself from whatever he wants to say. I can see the struggle on his face, but he ultimately keeps his mouth shut.

  “I’m falling for you, Wren. I think…I think I might be there, but I’m not ready to say it yet.” He cradles my face in his hands and I tilt into his touch. “He’s always going to be there, in my past. I can’t change that and I never would. He gave me Ava, but Wren…you’ve brought me back to life.”

  I kiss him and our naked bodies press together once more. Soon, the kiss turns hungry and we fall back to bed for round two. It’s sweet and tender as he holds and cherishes me. We come together and eventually we also fall asleep together, cuddled side-by-side. I make no move to go to the spare room and I don’t think I’ll sleep there at all while I’m here. This is the only place I want to be.

  ҉ ҉ ҉

  “Momma?” I wake up to my daughter whispering in my ear and it takes me a minute to realize where I am. In Wren’s house. In Wren’s bed. And Ava waking me up. Great.

  “Good, uh, morning, sweetheart.” I cover myself and sit up. I open my mouth, but my boyfriend be
ats me to the punch.

  “Come here, kiddo.” He hops out of bed and thankfully already has a pair of basketball shorts on. I don’t remember him getting dressed, but I’m grateful one of us is prepared. He walks around to my side of the bed and scoops up my daughter in his arms. “Want pancakes for breakfast? You can help me whisk them while your mom wakes up.”

  I smile as I watch him carry Ava down the hall, playing off what could’ve been an awkward morning without missing a beat. My daughter doesn’t bat an eye at the fact that I was in bed with Wren. Maybe she doesn’t understand it or just doesn’t care.

  When the coast is clear, I sneak to the spare room to get a fresh outfit. Instead of changing in that room, I bring my suitcase back to Wren’s room, already planning to set up camp in here permanently. Ava already knows, so why pretend like I don’t want to stay in here?

  As I get dressed, I hear Wren and Ava in the kitchen, laughing and likely making a mess. I’m ready to join them as my phone rings. My business partner is calling and despite it being a Saturday, I have to work.

  “Hey, Meg.”

  “Hey, girl. Remember the photoshoot we did in Vegas for the architecture firm? Well, the magazine is ready for the proofs and wants them immediately. Can you meet with them this week?”

  Dammit. I’d hoped I’d have my house and office done before meeting with the client.

  “They want an in-person meeting?” Most clients are good with sending digital proofs, but occasionally businesses prefer to meet face-to-face.

  “Yup. They’re insisting. Hey, do you think you could meet them at your boyfriend’s office? That’s his firm, right?”

  “That would be so tacky. But I feel weird asking them here too. Can I meet them at your place?” Meg and I don’t work out of an office since it’s just the two of us and we generally have no need for one. Plus, she has a super fancy apartment and a killer office.

  “I didn’t tell you? The apartment above mine flooded. I’m back at my sister’s for the week. I’d have crashed with you but we’re both fucking homeless.”

  Sonofabitch.

  “Fine. I’ll talk to Wren. Send me the details of when they want to meet and I’ll work it out.”

  I’m a ball of nerves as I walk to the kitchen. Ava is already sitting at the table, her face smeared in chocolate from her chocolate chip pancakes. Wren is flipping a fresh stack and my heart swells at the realization that I could so easily get used to this.

  “You’re just in time.” He carries the plates to the table and I sit across from him. My daughter is humming the theme song to one of her shows under her breath, oblivious to the tension I’m emitting.

  “Thanks for breakfast.” I poke at my food and Wren takes notice.

  “Don’t like the pancakes?”

  “It’s not that. I hate to ask this, but I have to meet with clients for work and normally we’d go to Meg’s apartment but there’s water damage and I guess I need to invest in office space and I thought my house would be ready by now and they work for—”

  “Carson. Relax. I want you to think of this as your place. You don’t need to ask.”

  “I didn’t know if it would be weird because—”

  “Carson. It’s your job and it’s important. Don’t mention it.” I do as I’m told and take a large bite of fluffy, golden brown pancake.

  How the hell did I get so lucky?

  Meg texts that they want to meet here Monday morning and that all of Wren’s big bosses will be attending. I want to tell him, to clue him in to the project since it’s so close to him too, but he told me not to mention it. I don’t want to push him when I’m feeling slightly reprimanded as is.

  The rest of the weekend involves a ton of preparation for Monday’s meeting. Meg comes over and helps me to set up in my boyfriend’s office. We select the best pictures and how we want to set up the article. I’m over prepared and I know the day will go flawlessly, but it’s a huge opportunity and I’m scared of screwing it up. I won’t stop fretting and panicking until the article is published.

  Monday morning I ship my daughter off to my in-laws’ house and transform Wren’s office into my makeshift workspace. The clients are going to be here any minute and Wren is running late. I wouldn’t mind, but I still haven’t told him it’s for his company and I don’t know if that would weird him out. Not to mention, Meg isn’t here for support either because she had to meet with her landlord about the damage.

  “I’m out of here. Good luck. I lo—I’ll uh, see you later.” Wren dodges the three words he’s been itching to say with a quick kiss and running to the door.

  He pulls open the front door as a group of people are standing on the other side ready to knock. Wren’s mouth drops open as he notices his bosses standing there.

  “Mr. Humphrey. Mr. Jackman. What are you guys doing here? I know I’m running late but I didn’t think that qualified for a house call.” He’s joking, not realizing his bosses are here for me.

  “They’re my clients.” I step around Wren who’s still holding the knob of the front door.

  “Hi, Mr. Jackman. Mr. Humphrey. I’m Carson Fletcher. It’s so nice to finally meet you both. The new building in Vegas is beautiful. Neil, Monica, it’s nice to see you both again.” To say this meeting is tense is an understatement, but I don’t understand why.

  “Mr. Valenti, what’s going on here?” Mr. Humphrey’s tone is stern and he looks back and forth between us repeatedly. I feel like I’m missing something—I don’t understand what the big deal is or why everyone is acting so weird.

  “I’ll explain everything at the office.” My boyfriend’s face is ashen and apologetic.

  “If you’ll excuse us, we have some work to do. I’ll see you at the office.” The four clients walk through the door and Wren walks the other way. He risks a quick glance over his shoulder before leaving, though I wish he wouldn’t have.

  That look told me everything I didn’t want to see. His face was clouded with worry mixed with confusion. I have a lot of explaining to do, but so does he.

  But first, I have to kick ass on this meeting and I hope our weird start doesn’t affect the outcome.

  Thirty-Four

  Wren

  I’m screwed. I thought Ethan would be the one to blow my cover and spill the beans about my relationship with Carson. Instead, the universe decided it had enough of my bullshit. There’s no doubt in my mind that when Mr. Humphrey gets here today that I’m getting fired.

  The office has always been my safe haven. Especially as Christmas approaches, I’m used to being the only person in the office. Most of my coworkers take off for a large chunk of December to spend time with their families, but I’ve never needed to. I liked working in the silent office.

  But not today. It’s eerie and unsettling. I need the noise, the distractions to not be lost in my own head. I see a figure rounding the corner and breathe a sigh of relief when I see it’s not my boss.

  “Hey man, you look like shit. Still not getting laid?” My best friend takes his spot leaning on the edge of my desk, crossing both his ankles and his arms.

  “Fuck off.” I run a hand through my hair and sigh. “Humphrey knows.”

  “Knows what?” It takes a second for him to understand. The minute he does, his jaw drops open. “No shit. Dude, that sucks. How did he find out?”

  “My girlfriend was the photographer and blogger for the new branch opening in Vegas. They’re having a meeting this morning to go over the pictures. Since Carson didn’t have anywhere to go, they came to my house.”

  I can see Ethan wracking his brain, looking for a way to bullshit my way out of this. “Fuck, man.” No matter how you slice it, there should’ve been no reason for my client to be at my house. My boss has made that perfectly clear.

  “Think I should just start packing my desk now?”

  “I’ll go grab you a box.”

  The morning drags as anxiety eats me up inside. I keep glancing over my shoulder to see if my boss has come back
. It’s distracting me from my work, but I’m trying to tie up as many loose ends as I can before I undoubtedly get the boot.

  As lunchtime approaches, I run downstairs and up the street to grab a sandwich from my favorite shop. Ethan tags along, though I suddenly wish he wouldn’t have. He spends the next hour telling me in disgusting detail about his latest conquest.

  We finish our lunch and head back to the office. As we step outside, I inhale the crisp air. It’s just under sixty degrees, which is brisk for our small town. The fresh air clears my head and calms me down, giving me a false sense of security that the holiday season always seems to bring.

  The feeling fades the second Ethan and I step into the building and come face-to-face with our boss. The elevator ride up is tense and my chicken pesto sandwich threatens to make a reappearance.

  The doors ping and open on our floor. “Mr. Valenti, come right into my office.” Ethan hums the death march behind me and if I weren’t already in hot water I’d turn and punch him.

  My boss takes a seat behind his desk and gestures for me to sit. I’d rather pace, but his stern look tells me I shouldn’t push him. Still, as I sit, my knee won’t stop bouncing as the nervous energy runs through me.

  “That was quite a shock this morning.” Everything about this man screams of disapproval, making me feel two inches tall. “Let me ask you something—Carson Fletcher is the same person you’re building a house for, correct? The Fletcher project?”

  “Yes, sir.” Maybe I can weave this another way… “I can explain. As you know, her house is delayed due to the hurricane and there was a perfect storm of events where her business partner is also having house problems.”

  “That doesn’t explain why she was at your house or why you’re privy to all of this information.” He wants to believe me, but I need to be more convincing.

  “Right, well, I overheard a phone call she took during one of our meetings and felt bad for her. She’s a single mom and I hear it takes a village.” I laugh but the joke doesn’t land. “Anyway, I offered her my place thinking it would be less weird for everyone since you’re my employers. I now see that’s not the case.”